"Are you having a bubble?" Bovver practically shouted as Dave tried his best not to choke on his beer. Shaking his head and looking at the shocked faces of his closest mates, Pete didn't know whether to laugh or feel insulted.
"Nah, Gospel of Paul, mate," he told them, calmly taking a sip of his pint.
"You're trying to tell me," Ike leaned on his arms on the table and looked Pete squarely in the eye. "That you're going out with the Sloane Square bird?"
Raising his eyebrows and nodding, Pete lifted his hands in defeat.
"Is that actually that fucking difficult to believe?"
"In all honesty mate," Swill told him with a laugh. "Yeah. She's a rich, fit, classy bird, and you're…"
Trailing off at the look Pete gave him, Swill smiled and reached for his beer.
Moving to sit next to his friend, Bovver looked at his friend seriously.
"What?" Pete asked, frustrated with the way the boys were reacting. "You think I'm making this up as well?"
Rubbing the back of his neck, Bovver shook his head and reached for his cigarettes.
"Course I don't," he told Pete earnestly. "But I have to ask mate, do you really think that this is such a good idea?" Pete began to open his mouth but Bovver stopped him by speaking first. "Look, she's a nice bird, no one's denying that, but she's a journo, mate."
Raising one eyebrow, Pete looked at Bovver in askance. "For fuck sake Bov, she works for Vogue, not the fucking Times."
Had Pete not known that Bovver was one hundred percent serious on this he would have simply laughed. Yes, they had all made an agreement that as far as women and relationships went, the GSE had to come first to a certain degree; but Keith was married, Dave had a girlfriend up until 6 months ago, so why was it such a big deal for Pete to be with someone?
"You're the head of this firm," Bovver told him as if reading his mind. "Think about it mate, someone finds out that you've got a bird, like Hatcher for example, do you honestly think someone like that is above going after her to get to you?" Registering the look in Pete's eyes Bovver knew that he had struck a chord. "What would you do then? Girls like Allie wouldn't know what to do in our world mate, she's not going to want to know you once you tell her the truth."
It came out sounding harsh, but having known Pete for 15 years, Bovver knew his weaknesses, and one of them without a doubt was that he put far too much trust in people. Usually the wrong people, and that was a luxury that they couldn't afford in the world that they were living in.
Glancing down at his pint, Pete took a deep breath and felt the fight evaporate from his body; Bovver was right. It wasn't only dangerous, but Allie lived such a different life to him; she spent her childhood in private schools and on holidays in Italy, he spent most of his childhood in fights and watching his mum trying to figure out where their next meal was coming from. Shaking his head with a laugh, he tried to work out what the hell he had been thinking; Bov had a point. The second she found out about the GSE she'd run a mile, or at least she would if she had any sense in her whatsoever.
Turning his gaze back to Bovver, whatever he was about to say was interrupted by the barrage of wolf whistles from the end of the bar and suddenly he remembered that he had told Allie to meet him here, so she could spend time with him and the lads again.
Looking up at her, Pete caught the smile on her face as she nervously nudged her way through the crowd, giving Terry who smiled at her from behind the bar a little wave as she made her way to the table.
"Alright, darling?" Dave asked with a wink as she stood next to Pete, hands in her back pockets, shifting from foot to foot.
"Yeah, good thanks, you?" she asked, smiling gratefully at Swill who patted the stool next to him. Moving behind Pete, she placed a hand on his shoulder to keep herself balanced and he cursed himself as the electricity shot through him.
Bovver was right, if he stopped this now then there wouldn't be a problem, but the key thing was to stop it before either of them got involved.
Oh give it up, you fucking idiot, he told himself you've been involved with this girl from the word go. And the fact that you've kissed her, that you told her stuff about you're Daddy and the boys, the fact that you can't stop looking at her, even now, the fact that every time you think about that one kiss you feel like your chest is getting smaller and you can't breathe properly might be a fucking clue as to the fact that you are already involved.
"Hey," her voice broke him out of his reverie and he blinked a few times. "We're going to play pool, you up for it?" leaning forward, she smiled flirtatiously. "Come on, I'll let you be on my team…"
He forced himself not to smile back and felt like a right bastard when he watched the smile drain from her face, confusion clouding her eyes as she stared at him in concern.
"Hey, are you alright?" she asked, gently rubbing a hand up his arm; jumping at the contact, he pulled back a little and stood up.
"Do you wanna go get some air?" he asked her, rubbing the back of his neck and trying to ignore the curious looks from the other boys. Staring up at him for a second, Allie shook her head and picked up her jacket, standing so that she was eye to eye with Pete.
"Is everything alright?" she asked in a quieter tone than before.
"Yeah, I just…" glancing at Bovver who gave him a reassuring nod, he shook his head. "I've gotta talk to you."
Nodding slowly, Allie shrugged into her jacket and reached for her bag.
"Ok," she answered, but by the time she stood up, he was already on his way out of the door. Blinking in confusion, she ignored that hurt, and turned to the rest of the boys, smiling apologetically.
"Sorry," she quipped half-heartedly. "Looks like I can't kick your arses tonight."
Turning, she followed Pete out of the pub and stepping into the cold winter air, glanced about her, catching his retreating form heading towards the riverbank. Jogging to catch up with him, she felt the air rush out of her lungs in freezing cold bursts, making her wish she had thought to bring a scarf as well.
"Pete!" she called, sighing when he didn't stop. Reaching out she snagged his hand and pulled him around to face her. "Oi," she asked, noticing the look on his face. "What's going on with you?"
Staring down into her green eyes, Pete remembered Bovver's words from earlier and forced himself to picture her that night on the train, back when she had looked so scared of Mikey and the other boys. Back when she has almost looked scared of him.
Taking a deep breath, he focused his attention on keeping his eyes trained on hers.
"This isn't going to work," he told her simply.
"What isn't?" she asked, genuinely confused.
"Us, Allie," he shot back exasperated already. He didn't want this to end, fuck, it had barely begun, but he knew that he was being unfair to her by dragging her into this. She didn't deserve it.
"Where's this come from?" she demanded, frowning.
"Oh come on," he shouted making her jump. "Don't pretend you haven't thought about it. You and me?" Pete laughed. "Allie, we're not the same people. I work in a public boys school, I live in South End and spend most of my free time in that pub." Even though it felt like glass, he continued to push the words out of his mouth, not letting himself look in her eyes anymore for fear of what he would see.
"You work for fucking Vogue, live in a mansion in Sloane Square and probably haven't been in a place like that in your life! You and me…it's a joke."
"Oh, so that's what this comes down to, you're ashamed of me, or something?" she asked calmly, her voice didn't sound angry, and that worried Pete a little bit.
"You know that's not it."
"Oh, well come on then," she took a step towards him. "What's the problem, aside from the fact that you're obviously delusional."?
His head shot up and Pete felt his temper snap. God, this woman was annoying.
"You want the truth?"
"Sure, hit me with it," she laughed, throwing her hands in the air in pure exasperation.
Moving so that he was toe to toe with her, Pete looked her firmly in the eye and fought the urge to kiss her then and there and forget about everything that Bovver had just said.
"You don't know me." Catching the confused look in her eyes, he shook his head.
"I don't know you?" she repeated. "What don't I know?"
Laughing bitterly, Pete moved past her and stood against the railings, his eyes focused on the reflection of the buildings behind him in the water.
"You don't want to know me." He told her.
"Oh for fuck sake Pete, I'm a big girl now, I think I can make my own decisions about who I want to know and who I don't." she replied impatiently. "Don't shut me out and don't treat me like a fucking child."
"Alright," he shot back angrily. "You want to know everything? Here we go then…that night that I met you on the train, those blokes who were messing with you were Arsenal football firm members and we'd gotten on that train with the sole purpose of fucking them up if we saw them again. Now see what you don't know is that me and the boys in there are members of the GSE. Green Street Elite. We're a firm, a gang, whatever the fuck the papers are calling us these days, we're fighters. I've ended up in hospital four times this year already because of fighting, go back in there and take a real close look at some of the boys," he took one look at her face and wanted to stop, but he couldn't. The trace of fear and utter disappointment in her eyes is something that he knew he would never forget. "Dave has a scar above his right eye where so bloke stamped on his face, Bovver had to have an operation on his wrist last Christmas because he'd gone to deck some bloke but he ducked so he hit the wall instead…"
He trailed off as Allie stepped forward and looked him dead in the eye, not letting a trace of emotion show on her face.
"And what about you then, huh?" she asked, her voice cold and low. "Lets have a look at yours, I mean you're in charge of this bollocks so come on, let's hear it."
"You don't want to know about the shit I've done." He told her, his face so near hers that he could feel the warmth of her breath fighting the chill on his face. Moving to turn away from her, he was stopped when she grabbed his arm and pulled him back around to face her.
"Don't you dare," she ordered, her own voice rising against her will. "You cannot expect to tell me this and then walk away, it's not fair."
Wiping a hand across his face, Pete did not remove her hand from his arm this time; he wanted to savour the feel of her skin on his, even if it was through clothing because a part of him knew that it was a luxury that he would never get again.
"What do you want me to do Pete?" she asked, a slight tinge of desperation evident in her voice.
Sighing, he looked down at her and forced himself to say the next few words.
"Go home, Allie." He told her quietly, pulling her hand off his arm. "Just go home."
She stood there speechless for a moment, her mouth opening and closing but no words coming out. Suddenly, she laughed mirthlessly and spun around, throwing her hands up in the air.
"Well, this is just great, isn't it?" she asked no one in particular. "Is this why you brought me out here tonight? To fucking humiliate me and make me feel like an idiot?"
"Of course I didn't…" Pete started but she cut him off.
"Well you done a fucking excellent job of it, Pete well done," she told him, giving him a sarcastic round of applause. "You know I actually thought that you…" Shaking her head, she trailed off. What was she going to say? That she had only known him for a month but she already felt like he was someone she could fall for? That in the past six weeks he had made her feel things that a whole three months with Will hadn't? No, she felt pathetic enough without letting him know how much he had actually got to her. Looking at her feet for a moment, she let out a deep breath and looked back up at him.
"Fine." She told him without a trace of emotion in her voice. "You want me gone? I'm gone, bye Pete."
Pete watched as she turned around and began walking towards the taxi rank outside of the pub. He wanted to run after her, catch her up and explain to her that it was all bullshit, that he wanted to be with her more than anyone else and that he didn't give a shit what Bovver thought, or what impact it would have on the GSE. But the other part of him knew, or at least wanted to think that he was doing the right thing in letting her walk away.
He watched as she climbed into the cab and slammed the door, before the taxi pulled out of the bay and into the street. He watched until he could no longer see the red taillights and all signs of her ever being in his life disappeared.
"Fuck!" he shouted, picking up an empty old can and throwing it into the river with all his strength. He knitted his fingers together and rested his head on them, wishing for the first time in his life that the GSE did not exist.
He had no idea how long he had stood there for, but the sound of his phone ringing brought him out of his daze. Pulling it out of his pocket at looking at the lit LCD screen his heart beat faster for a second with the knowledge that maybe it was her calling, but he noticed with disappointment that the name flashing across the screen was Swill's.
Flipping it open, he sighed into the receiver. "Yeah?"
"Oi," Swill's voice travelled sharply and clearly down the phone. "Are you two done shagging yet? 'Coz I need Allie in here now, Dave's fucking taking all my money."
Chuckling quietly, Pete stood up straighter against the barrier.
"I'm on my way," he told him, flipping the phone shut with a click that seemed to echo in the silence of the riverbank.
Taking a deep breath he made his way back to the pub, shaking his head as he mentally prepared himself for the questions that the boys would inevitably ask. Pushing through the doors, he ignored the confused look Terry gave him and rounded the corner stopping at the head of the pool table, as Ike was in mid-shot.
"Oi, Oi," Swill called from the bar, where he was accepting his change before gathering all six beer bottles in his hand and making his way over to the table. "Where's Allie?"
"She went home," Pete glanced at Bovver who refused to return his gaze.
"That's a shame, mate," Dave told him, slapping him playfully on the shoulder. "You've done well, Dunham, she's a good girl."
Frowning, Pete grabbed one of the bottles of beer and practically downed it before slamming it down on the table.
"Everything alright, Pete?" Dave asked with genuine concern.
"Yeah," Pete answered darkly. Then he turned around to meet Dave's eyes and laughed it off. "Yeah, 'course, everything's fucking fine and dandy."
Bovver appeared next to him, placing a reassuring hand on his mate's shoulder.
"So you did it then?" Pete nodded, not turning around to face Bov.
"Did what?" Dave asked, raising one eyebrow and laughing at the easy shot Ike still managed to miss.
"He broke things off with her," Bovver answered nonchalantly, ignoring Dave's reaction of dribbling most of his beer.
"You did what?" he shouted, shaking his head. "Oh, Pete you stupid bastard."
"What's all this?" Keith asked, looking up from his shot, and smacking Swill's hand away as he moved to take some of the money sat on the side.
"Fucking smart-arse here broke up with Allie," Dave answered, shaking his head.
"Yeah, alright mate," Pete shot, rubbing his face with his hands and not so subtly shrugging off Bovver's hand.
"Mate! What the fuck did you go and do that for?" Swill asked. "She was a top bird."
"Because of this," Pete shouted, shoving himself up from the table and sending a few empty bottles tumbling to the floor. "I don't want her to deal with any of our shit; she's too good for it. Remember what you said to me?" he asked nodding towards Ike. "You said that blokes like us don't get girls like that, and there's a reason for it," he sighed. "Because girls like that are too fucking good for blokes like us, they deserve more than we can give them and I'll be fucked if I'm going to make her unhappy."
"Well, she doesn't exactly look like a barrel of laughs right now," Dave mumbled under his breath, the smile evident in his voice.
"What?" Pete asked, confused. Turning to where Dave and the rest of the boys were staring he frowned at the sight of Allie storming towards him through the pub. Behind him he could have sworn he heard Bovver mumble 'fuck' under his breath, but he was too focused on the girl approaching him to really notice.
Not stopping until she was toe to toe with him, Allie latched her eyes onto his, the anger pouring out of them like venom.
"I got half way down the road and thought, what the fuck am I doing?" she told him with a laugh, her voice having an oddly singsong quality to it despite her anger. "If you want to be a complete and utter fuckwit then that's up to you, but you're going to have to give me a better reason that you did out there if you want me gone."
Pete forced himself not to smile as she continued to rant, her eyes flashing, her hands working over time as she gestured wildly about the air.
"What the fuck are you…" Pete shook his head.
"Everything you just told me," she made a dismissive hand gesture. "I couldn't give a fuck about…I've met scarier people than you in my time, believe me, I went to a private school. So if you don't like me anymore, if I repulse you or annoy you or whatever, just be a man and fucking say it, because if that little speech you gave me out there was to break things off and make me go away, guess what, dumb arse, it didn't work! So unless you can give me a proper reason as to why I shouldn't be here…with you, then I'm not moving and there's piss all you can do about it." She folded her arms as though to emphasis her point and regarded him seriously, trying to read his expression.
Finally, after about a minute of just staring at her in shock and realising in that one moment, just how much he had underestimated this girl, he spoke.
"Are you done?" he asked her.
Her mouth fell open and she narrowed her eyes at him.
"Fuck you!" she shot back. "At least I've got the balls to tell people what's really going on with me as opposed to using scare tactics like some fucking school boy."
The rest of the boys clamped their mouths shut so that they wouldn't laugh; they had to hand it to this girl, she had balls. There were only a handful of people in the world that would stand in front of Pete Dunham and talk to him like that. But this girl had no fear in her eyes, only anger, and to be honest that made her scarier than any of the boys would ever want to admit.
Standing up so that he towered above her slight 5"6 inch frame, Pete looked down at her for a moment before grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the doors that opened up into the corridor where the bathrooms were. Closing the door behind them and shutting out the stares of curiosity and amusement, Pete watched her carefully as she leaned back against the wall, still awaiting his response.
Turning to face her, he rubbed his chin and gave up trying to suppress his smile; she glared back at him for a moment before she felt a smile tug at her own mouth.
"What?" she demanded, trying to get her face back into a scowl so that he would know how much he had pissed her off.
"You must be pretty dumb to come back here after everything I told you," he told her, raising an eyebrow.
"God, do you listen, at all…ever?" she asked in exasperation. "I don't give a crap about what you've done..."
"Maybe you should."
"And maybe you should stop bloody telling me how to feel!" she burst out, running her hands through her hair in frustration. "Look," she sighed, flopping her arms down by her sides, feeling the fight evaporating from her body. Maybe she had hit the nail on the head out there; maybe he just didn't want to be with her like she thought he did, in which case she was making a major arse out of herself but the time for caring had long since passed.
"It's just you and me now, so if you don't want to be with me, just tell me, ok?" she met his eyes and pleaded with him. "I just don't want to be messed around because I…I like you, alright? I like you a lot and I thought…I wanted to think that the feeling was mutual." She trailed off and stared down at her Pucci boots, the patent leather contrasting with the sticky red floor that obviously hadn't seen a mop in years.
"You think I don't like you?" Pete asked her in shock.
"Well, Jesus Pete, what would you think?" she asked, shrugging and fighting to keep the volume of her voice under control, but dear God this man was annoying. "One minute you're kissing me and telling me about how you grew up and the next you're dragging me out of the pub that you invited me to in the first place and telling me that it's not working out." She looked him in the eye and moved a little bit closer as though approaching a scared animal. "Look, I get that we're different, but did you ever think that that's maybe a reason for it to work? I mean, Christ, how boring would it be if we were exactly the same?"
"I want you," Pete told her honestly, liking the way her breath caught in her throat when he said that. "You know that. But if being with you means exposing you to…"
"To what?" she asked, taking another step towards him. "So you fight." She shrugged. "So what? Am I thrilled about it? No. Is it going to worry me? Yes. Is it going to make me like you any less? No." she told him earnestly, reaching out and placing a hand on his face. "I know that you think that I'm going to turn my back on you just because I might not understand why you choose to do this, but Pete; I don't care about any of that, ok? I just care about you."
Pete removed her hand from his face and he turned to face the wall, lacing his hands together behind his head. Blinking back the tears, Allie had never felt so stupid in her life; she had thought that he liked her, that he cared about her, enough to spare her feelings at least.
"I need a minute." He told her, still facing the wall. "Because once I do this, there's no going back."
"Do what?" she asked bitterly, not even caring anymore. She just wanted to get out of there.
"This." And with that, Pete spun around and grabbed her by the waist, kissing her with such force that had it not been for the wall behind her, Allie was sure that they both would have fallen backwards onto the floor. It took less than a second for her to start kissing him back, her arms going around his neck, trying to get as close to him as possible. After a few minutes, Pete pulled away from her, both of them gulping down much needed air.
"Are you sure about this?" he asked her, one hand trailing up her side to tuck a stand of hair behind her ear.
Smiling at him, she tilted her head as if pretending to think for a second; meeting his blue eyes, she rested back against the wall and bit her lip, trying to get rid of her smile. Unable to think of anything to say, she simply nodded and let the grin take over her face.
"Are you?" she asked, nervously.
Smiling at her, Pete shook his head and laughed softly.
"Since that first night on the train." He told her honestly.
Leaning back even further, she raised an eyebrow at him incredulously.
"Oh, yeah?" she questioned, the smile evident in her voice. "And, uh, what exactly made you so sure that I'd go for a thug like you?" she teased.
"Thug?" he shot back, pretending to be offended. "Piss off, you were flirting with me from the start." He leant in so that his face was inches from hers. "Besides, I'm by far the prettiest one in the group so it was inevitable that you'd want me…"
Laughing and shoving him playfully, she pulled him closer by his jacket and winced.
"So does this mean that i'm your girlfriend?" Allie asked, pretend horror in her voice as her eyes widened at the prospect.
"Fuck, yeah, it looks like it," Pete told her regretfully, even though there was a blatant smile on his face.
"Oh God help me." She answered, her laughter only silenced when his mouth came crashing back down onto hers.
