Disclaimer: By now, do you seriously think I own any manga or anime titles? Because if so, why did no one tell me about Naruto and To-Love-Ru then?
Chapter 8:
Well this was awkward.
Bright blue eyes were locked unblinkingly against jaded green. Another pair of greenish orbs was ping-ponging back and forth between the two in confusion and dawning realization. One lone black iris was stuck inside of a sea of paper pages, acting as if nothing else mattered except absorbing the sentences before it and committing them to memory while inconspicuously taking in the whole juicy situation.
"You're really back." Sakura said again, breaking the hypnotic hold that had fallen over everyone while also stating the obvious. The blond finally blinked and wiped away the stray broth at his chin. It was then the pinkette noticed more than just the jinchuriki's presence and that he was injured and laden with a humongous scroll, especially when he turned around and stood up from his stool. "And you…look so different."
"Well yeah, I had to grow up just like everyone else." He laughed a bit and rubbed his neck, even with the annoyance he felt towards Sakura as Tsunade's words came back to him. There was a possibility that dropping the bomb of him getting married could have been a lot rougher by initially keeping it under wraps but his crush went and spilled the beans prematurely without caring what the two involved would want. His ire was suppressed even more upon becoming aware of Lala's gentle hand pressed up against the small of his back between the scroll and jacket. Perhaps to show her support, perhaps to show in some way that she was involved with the ninja, or perhaps because that was just Lala and her innate pleasantness and concern. Sakura noticed the gesture and was unsure how to feel about it; after all, it wasn't like she had any designs of her own on the boy. But he was her friend and fellow teammate and the duo had been forced through a lot together.
That meant something, even competing against love.
However, her own personal needs still had to be fulfilled. Especially now that the boy that once pined for her unconditionally had finally returned home. There had been a few men that had tried to court her over the years but the 'flings' as Ino called them were never very long or personal. Without Sasuke around (who was still a sore and confusing subject) she had focused greatly on her career, and without her whisker-marked colleague there to step in and give her attention, the medic had felt a profound loneliness. "What about me? Do I look more womanly?" The kunoichi struck a pose, finger resting against her cheek as her body language turned more bashful. Naruto merely laughed again, grinning widely as his good-nature and well-meaning shone through and he gave his opinion.
"Nope! You look fine! Haven't changed at all, Sakura-chan!"
Sakura's fist clenched and Naruto subconsciously took a step back in confusion as the girl's temper flared. But the emotion was swiftly crushed as nostalgia overcame annoyance and a fond smile appeared on the slimmer pinkette's lips as she realized something. Three years later and her friend still had the same optimistic (yet simple-minded) mindset. "Even though you may look more mature…you really haven't changed at all." Sakura's eyes finally broke from staring at Naruto's face and looked towards the pretty pink-hair holding onto the boy. Marking her territory or something? "And so, this must be…"
The demon container followed her line of sight to the girl at his back and it made Naruto grin as his lingering irritation finally dissipated, pulling Lala to her feet and gesturing towards her all in one sweeping motion. "Ah right, sorry! Sakura-chan, this is Lala-chan. Long story short, I'm supposed to be marrying her. It's all really crazy and I'm pretty sure I can't mention it…yeah, classified."
"Hello!" The princess chirped, bowing in a way that made her chest juggle as she was finally eased into the conversation. Sakura's eyes inevitably watched the bounce and she repressed an urge to twitch in response. Was she even wearing a damn bra? Around those such as Ino and Hinata, she already felt inadequate and don't even get the kunoichi started on Tsunade and those watermelons embedded under her chest. At least Tenten wasn't that much bigger in the endowment department than Sakura was. And yet, now there was this girl at her blond squad-mate's side with her much desired curves.
Without realizing it, Sakura had folded her arms underneath her minor bust to try and make them pop as she cocked a narrower hip to the side. Her own feminine pride was on the line here, what with this other female and her obviously better family genes flaunting themselves by way of her body type. She had to squash the urge to reach out and fix that one bob of her hair that defied gravity too. This Lala seemed way too chipper though…perhaps that was why her fellow pinkette was able to stand being around the Uzumaki teenager for long periods of time. After all they were to be wed and that involved copious amounts of spending moments together-
Wait a second.
It was then Naruto's words echoed throughout Sakura's mind, replaying as her highly intelligent and gifted mind reanalyzed his exact wording. One couldn't rise to the position of the Hokage's newest apprentice in the medical field without being able to catch even the smallest of snags. Missing even one error could later cause a patient to bleed out, or overdose from the wrong prescription. The two before her seemed as if they were at ease with each other but Naruto's fiancé was clinging to his side almost as if he were some type of possession. Naruto's own posture had grown imperceptible stiffer at the girl's closeness.
"Naruto," she began, grabbing his attention with the way her voice held a tinge of worry. "What did you mean by 'supposed to be marrying her'? And classified? How can the events leading up to one's engagement be considered so secret they couldn't say anything? I understand if the two of you wanted to keep it low key for now but..." The blond grimaced as he felt Lala shudder against his side, most likely fighting the urge to boast about their first meeting and the following events that culminated in their betrothal. The curvy pinkette had become smoother at keeping her extraterrestrial heritage a secret, he would give her that. But Sakura's voice sounded rather accusing as if she were hinting that Lala had duped him into their commitment.
Technically she wasn't that far off the mark.
"Wait, wait…I still may not be one-hundred percent sure I want to get married now but we're still together…or however it works." Naruto said, waving his hands around to assuage her suspicions.
"And I'm doing my best to get Naruto to feel for me the same way I do for him!" The princess' beaming smile earned itself an embarrassed grin, causing the medic's questioning brow to quirk even higher. None of this was making sense. Sakura would admit that the headstrong shinobi likely felt some attraction towards this other girl. But from what she was able to gather, Lala was the one who had started the mystery between them and Naruto was torn between following through or cutting himself loose.
There were too many unknowns to find a solution. She may have liked a good puzzle but this was something more up Shikamaru's alley. "I…see…" Her unconvincing tone created a silence that descended upon the food stall, up until a fourth voice cleared its throat followed a cough. Oh right…they weren't alone within the diner.
"I do believe we've been forgotten." Kakashi expressed, turning a page in his book with a slight rustling of paper. Inexplicably, his plate and drink were both empty. Teuchi merely chuckled from his spot behind the counter and gestured with the rag in his hand before shrugging.
"Eh, youngsters get too engrossed in their own little worlds all the time. I blame the hormones." With a click of his tongue the ramen chef scooped up the used food items and whisked away to the back room. The distraction was much needed though, as it allowed Sakura to gather her scattered thoughts. Now composed the Haruno recalled her original intent for traveling to Ichiraku Ramen and turned to her former ninja teacher. The man still had his masked nose stuck in that book of his but she could see him focus his attention upon her with a minor twitch of his ear.
"Oh right. Sorry, Kakashi-sensei. What was it you summoned me for?"
The copy ninja only tilted his head to the side before finally clapping the novel closed and sliding it into his pouch for safe-keeping. "Well." he began, cupping his chin eerily reminiscent of the first time Team 7 had met together in the classroom, "Originally I was going to see if you wanted to join me on a mission for old time's sake but with the appearance of our other member, that changes things. I suppose we'll have to go through a combat simulation to see how much our teamwork needs polishing since Team 7 is nearly back together. We've got a job to do, yeah?"
Sakura's calm from before had morphed into budding excitement as she realized what the one-eyed shinobi was hinting at but a look of confliction crossed over the Uzumaki's face as his lower lip jutted out in heavy thought. "Right now? I'm supposed to head back and see Baa-chan after showing Lala around."
"W-what? But Naruto, now that you're here shouldn't we start preparing to find Sasuke?"
"Don't get me wrong, I still want to find Sasuke and bring him back for you but…we're only visiting…and I'm still not strong enough." Naruto vaguely thought he heard Kakashi clear his throat, sounding suspiciously like the word 'sage'. "I still have things to do back in Japan. It's just that…I guess my priorities have changed somewhat now." Sakura's former enthusiasm had all but died as it was replaced by a look of heartbreak, doing its job of slowly breaking the blond's own though his conviction reminded him that it could have been her trying to sway his decision. Still, she really had no idea how conflicted he was feeling at the moment.
"But…you're finally back. We can find Sasuke-kun and reunite Team 7! You're stronger, I'm stronger, and we have Kakashi-sensei this time!" Sakura flinched in betrayal as blue eyes turned downcast and he looked away, blocked from view by his messy hair and all but cementing his decision in her mind. Without another word the teenager spun and ran away in a hurry, taking to the rooftops and soon hopping out of view to put as much space in between them as she could. Naruto was already halfway out the cloth flaps when a gloved hand locked onto his shoulder and kept him from turning everything into a frenzied pursuit.
"Let her be, Naruto. It's hard for her to hear but…well. I would like to reunite Team Seven just as much as you both but it's not healthy to obsess over something." Kakashi had no need to mention how utter fixation had dropped the rogue Uchiha onto his current manic path. "It's nice to hear that you still hold your promises close to your heart but for now, just give Sakura some time. Emotions are already high enough. She hasn't seen you in nearly three whole years and missed having you around, not to mention learning that you're to be married and suddenly popping back unannounced without giving her any time to respond. It's a lot to take in so suddenly."
The sage looked at his teacher, gazing silently into the man's face before exhaling slowly through his nose. It hurt to do that to someone he cared for. But maturity came with a price, and the blond had learned he couldn't satisfy everyone no matter how much he wanted to. Although…he still fell back into that trap quite on more than one occasion. "Oh…okay…"
"For now why don't you continue showing Lala around the village? Like you said, things changed. You have someone new in your life and other things that need to be done first." Kakashi's droopy eye was smiling again and it caused a much weaker one to grow on the jinchuriki's lips. Releasing Naruto he turned and regarded Lala with a quick look. "It was nice to meet you. Take care of him; lord knows he needs all the help he can to be kept in line."
"Oh…okay! Nice to meet you too!" The jounin waved before vanished in a plume of summoned smoke, marking his exit and a sigh from Naruto as he slumped back into his chair while Lala followed suit. Sadness was radiating off of the boy and it was causing the pinkette's chest to tighten.
"Well that could've gone better, yeah?" Pursing his lips, he scratched at his bandages and finally shook his head derisively. "I guess I'll just show you some of the other places I like."
"Before you do that I believe you owe me some money, buddy." Teuchi called out in jest, having snuck back out to the counter sometime during the confrontation. He may have been joking but his wrinkled face belied his true emotions; the older man felt pity for his favorite customer. Good ol' Gama-chan was soon taken out of its hiding spot but the blond shinobi paled upon looking at the currency resting inside. Nothing but yen coins and bills.
"Oh crap! And Kakashi-sensei-gah, that bastard left us and skipped his bill again! Ehhh…can you just send it all to Jiraiya?" At the chef's nod Naruto sighed in relief, his former foul mood dissipated somewhat thanks to his old teacher's customary aloofness. And for being a cheapskate. But the toad sage would be footing the payment since he had all the money anyways so that wasn't so bad. With a small push he was back on his feet and grabbing at Lala's hand to get her to follow him. Saying goodbye, the duo set off for the next destination on the list (which would hopefully be more tranquil this time around).
Next stop? His old apartment.
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Konohagakure Ninja Academy. The very building where young shinobi hopefuls learned the basics for their choice of profession. Sakura always felt at ease whenever she entered the fenced-in grounds. Perhaps it was because she had been the top female in her class and gave her a sense of superiority…but the place helped soothe her troubled mind whenever she was burdened with a problem. It was that reasoning as to why the female believed her body had dragged her to the school's rooftop without her mind consciously making the decision.
Her jade eyes remained unfocused, even as a new presence hopped into existence a few steps behind Sakura, calling her name uncertainly and in confusion. "-ura! Hey, Forehead! Are you even in there?" The pinkette felt more than saw the hand nearing her larger-than-normal brow and she balked, spinning around with her fists ready to cause damage. Tension was high but the sight of one of her friends jumping back in alarm forced her to calm herself with mild success.
The girl before her breathed a sigh of relief as Sakura dropped her hands and bit her lip hard enough to cause indentation in the skin. Her arms were quivering and her eyes were tightly shut, silently exclaiming to Ino Yamanaka that the medical kunoichi was doing her best not to suddenly break down right then and there. With a flick of her wrist the female sent her waist-length blond ponytail over her shoulder as the fringe continued to shadow her right pale-blue iris and pale white skin. Purple fabric crinkled as she slowly walked back towards Sakura, subconsciously readjusting her midriff-baring blouse and apron-skirt/mini-skirt underneath after the quick physical exertion of escaping a fist to the jaw. Whereas the girl had been a cutie before, she had turned into a bombshell in the span of a few years. Add in the red hair clip at her temple, stud earrings, fishnet warmers at her knees and elbows, ninja sandals, and pouches, the kunoichi completed her desirable look.
"Geez, girl. What's got you so out of whack? Why were you tearing through town so quickly?" The mind-reader had witnessed the girl jumping from rooftop to rooftop as if she had been running to escape something terrible. When Sakura finally lifted her chin to look at Ino she was able to see the despair in her features.
"I-it's…ugh. Naruto's…back." she said quietly, her voice taking on a soft tint. The mention of the missing blond actually drew a smile on Ino's pretty face as she sidled up next to the other female and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Really? He finally decided to get his butt back here? Wow, I wonder what he looks like now."
Sakura sent the blonde a shrewd glance out of the corner of her eye, confused by Ino's response and pep. Her words were accusing and anyone could clearly tell she was suspicious of the attractive female. "Why do you care?"
Ino just scoffed and rolled her eyes but the smile stayed in place. "I can't be excited to see one of my old friends?" Barring the fact that the two weren't exactly friends? "Naruto actually proved he wasn't as big of an idiot as we all thought. The Chunin Exams, finding Tsunade-sama, the last…mission before he left for three years. Sakura, he's like family to the toad summons! That's insane! And trained by Jiraiya-sama too! Even with all the improvement I've done it's still pathetic compared to his standards. I feel pretty terrible knowing how we all treated him back in the academy." she finished, ticking off the points on her fingers before placing her hands against her hips. All of those who were in the familiar genin teams felt remorse in some way. Either from not getting to know him better because he already seemed content enough with just having others to interact with, or even acknowledging him as more than just a nuisance. Now that Naruto had been gone for years the gap he left behind could easily be felt by those still in the village.
"Yeah…"
"But! This isn't about me! What did that blockhead do already to get you so down in the dumps that you had to escape to here?"
With a long, drawn-out sigh Sakura relayed the tale of what happened back in the ramen restaurant upon tracking down both her teacher and the orange surprise at his side. The Yamanaka heiress remained silent throughout the retelling but had taken to chewing on her lip in thought as Sakura continued to vent, both on the boy's decisions and her own personal inadequacies. Finally finished, with her knees tucked up against her chest as she hugged them close, the medic felt as though her body and heart felt a bit lighter in comparison.
"So Lala is the likeliest reason he's leaving again and they're to be married. But do we know how concrete their relationship is? Sometimes these things fall apart if the two decide it wouldn't work. Even if it's some long-term engagement."
"She was sticking pretty damn close to him and they both seemed comfortable in the presence of the other. Yet Naruto let it slip that Lala was the one to actually start their…relationship. I don't know if he's been tricked or forced into doing this."
Ino's teeth slowly revealed themselves as a wicked grin overtook her, eyes flashing as a new idea formed thanks to Sakura's information. "What if we got Naruto away from Lala? Introduce another girl to secretly pull him out of her influence?"
"Like who?" Ino's pointed look made Sakura scowl and look repulsed at the very thought. "No! I may want to help the idiot but I'm not doing anything embarrassing!" Faded azure eyes continued to stare. "I am not whoring myself out!"
The blonde scoffed and actually looked a bit hurt at the pinkette's words. "I never said anything about being a whore. Are you calling any seduction specialist a slut or skank because they take missions that involve using their body to make ends meet? Or even me because I like to dress this way?"
"W-well, no but…"
"If we got it then we flaunt it." As if to make a point she ran a hand from her collarbone, down the swell of her breast and toned stomach before ending at the edge of her skirt. Civilian families always had way stricter morals than those who were pure ninja…but then again, her own father was just able to tolerate her revealing yet still presentable outfit. "I will admit that I like to tease the boys and make them fantasize about me because it's a morale booster but I'm not thinking of adding 'ready and willing to fuck' onto my resume. Would you think any less of me though if I one day decided on that career? If something happened and I had no other choice, or I learned that I was darn-spankin' good at gathering information in a way you've deemed highly inappropriate?"
"I…I don't know." she whispered back, defeat in her voice.
Ino sighed and shook her head. Sakura had always been heavily modest, likely thanks to her forehead, and her less developed body could have added to the stigma as she grew. The pinkette was her friend but the girl seriously needed to lighten up greatly in certain aspects. "I'm not saying to drag him off and whip his dick out. But if he finds another girl interested in him after all this time, it may bring to light any problems between Naruto and Lala that could show that they're not actually meant for each other."
"Would that actually work?"
"It could, I don't know. Has he grown cuter? If it looks like I could get a respectable boyfriend out of him then maybe I'll have a go." Ino finished with a finger at her cheek in thought. The other kunoichi looked scandalized at her friend's enthusiasm. So much so that she was unable to utter a single word on how she felt that was a bad idea, or that the blonde shouldn't do so, or even why Ino of all people wanted to hit on Naruto. It wasn't actually jealousy stabbing at her chest…not at all.
'Would she at least wait until Naruto was alone?' Sakura may not have currently liked Lala because of the girl's inadvertent meddling, but the pinkette seemed innocent to it all. It wouldn't do to have the mind-reader flirting with the male right in front of her…but sometimes situations became desperate.
"Then again…if they're really in love then I don't think I'd have the heart to break them up. I know if I was in her situation I'd be devastated. Plus with how Hinata's been acting lately, I'd rather not have her discover that I pursued Naruto. She might snap and try to kill me even if I was only pretending."
Hinata! Of course! The one girl around here that actually cared for the jinchuriki as more than just a friend!. She seemed like the much more logical choice for this problem…but speaking of problems, Hinata had her own blatant one. The white-eyed Hyuuga had underwent a drastic personality change ever since Tsunade called them into her office. It was as if her emotional level had dropped to an all time low, bordering on silent and extremely tense. Anyone, even those within her own stoic clan, felt like they were walking on eggshells around her and the slightest goof would bring her wrath upon them. How would she react knowing that both Naruto and the one who took him away from her were here in the village?
Sakura stood swiftly and patted down the wrinkles in her battle skirt. It was a chance she needed to take to try and save Naruto from the wrong future in his life. "I have an idea. Tell me, Pig…do you know where Hinata might be anyways?"
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"Your old home was so dirty!"
"No one's been around to clean it for three years, Lala." Naruto said with a small grin. "But it was nice to come back and see that it was all still the same." Having been shaking his head at her surprise, the blond nearly missed how the alien's face fell at his words.
"Yes." she responded, sounding oddly subdued. Her expression caused Naruto to pat the hand attached to the lithe arm wound around his own, causing Lala to look up at him and his questioning eyes.
"What's wrong?" The pinkette released his limb from the spot she always customarily took as both of the teenagers stopping in the road. Lala's fingers began to fiddle with the hem of her red shirt while biting her lip, hitting Naruto with a full dose of pure 'cute' in the process. He was proud to admit that he only jerked back momentarily and that the princess was too focused on own her thoughts to discover a new way to tease him.
"Well…it's just, watching you see all of your old friends and meeting them myself…it just makes me want to see my own family again. Plus I want to introduce you to more than just my dad." A smile flickered across her lips as the chakra titan reached out and pulled her into a one-armed embrace to show his support. She loved that he was growing used to any physical contact between them. It was a major improvement from the beginning where he would stiffen in uncertainty at the faintest hug.
"One day I guess, yeah?" Now he sounded hesitant. She just nodded happily anyways as Naruto sighed in relief. "Good. Now let's head back so I can get some money from Ero-sennin. We can go find a present for your sisters then." He'd have to be sneaky and buy one for her as well. He still had no idea what to get her yet so this was the perfect excuse to look.
With their path now laid out before them, the duo moved off as Lala once again found a spring in her step. Both were all but thrown back into Tsunade's office upon their arrival by Shizune and Naruto couldn't fight against the scowl that slipped onto his face upon seeing the busty blonde. The Godaime was able to take it like a champ and keep her own face neutral at the look of disdain but knew it was well deserved. She had gotten off quite lightly compared to Jiraiya but the boy was a prankster at heart; he might have something still planned in the future.
Looking away from Naruto's direct gaze, Tsunade set her sights upon the Devilukan princess with a calculating, inquisitive stare. The young male wasn't exactly liking the growing shine in her brownish orbs and once again positioned himself to hide her behind his frame. That was, until she opened her painted lips and spoke. "So you're really alien royalty?"
"Yes." No hesitation.
"And you've somehow been charmed by the brat here?"
"Hey!"
Lala giggled at her fiancé's annoyed yell, beaming as he began to pout in a way that she thought looked simply adorable. "Yup!"
Slapping her manicured hands against the polished wood of her desk, Tsunade stood abruptly with a jiggle that failed to escape Jiraiya's notice. "That's good enough for me then! Let's go!" Before they knew it the Hokage had stepped up to the two of them and gently pulled at Lala's shoulder while steering her towards the door. "When was the last time you had a doctor's checkup?"
"Ummm…"
Naruto heard Peke mention it had been over a year since her last visitation before the two men received a cry of 'we'll be back in a bit'. The whiskered teen blinked in confusion before stepping into motion, aiming to follow the duo and ask why Tsunade was suddenly so interested in her well-being. Until Jiraiya called for him to stop, that is, forcing the boy to glare at the older gentleman for making him pause. Asking what he needed in a huff, Jiraiya just motioned slowly with his hand to make his point.
"Tsunade will take care of Lala, don't worry. I set her straight. I think Tsunade is more interested in learning more about your fiancé and the fact that she's…out of this world." Naruto rubbed the space between his eyes as his teacher continued to snicker at his joke. Wiping at his eye the sannin suddenly grew stern. "Seriously though; it's just going to be girl talk mixed with a medical examination. Knowing how you act, you'll be tripping over yourself after Lala strips and with the two talking about anything and everything female you will just be bored to death. Just take the time to relax…you could use it after all that training."
"I don't need to relax. But I will use the time away from Lala to finish an errand. So…gimme money." he held out his hand as Jiraiya gave his apprentice a dry look. "All I have is yen. I can't buy Lala-chan a birthday present with foreign money.
"If you're stuck on a gift then you could-"
"Whatever you're about to say, it better not involve underwear!"
"Not even close." Jiraiya uttered, hurt at Naruto's accusation. Although it was right on the dot. And he was actually more amused than anything. After the ensuing argument, scuffle, and eventual settlement between the two males Naruto left the Hokage's office with heavier pockets and a mind full of possible gift ideas while Jiraiya shunshined away for some quality peeping time. If there was going to be a free period for everyone and Naruto wasn't going to go looking for sexy lingerie, then the summoner was going to spend the time doing something actually worthwhile.
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"This is…simply amazing. Reinforced bone, muscle, and body tissue at a far higher index than even that of the hardiest shinobi. Average strength is on par with my own after I strengthen my attacks with chakra, and even then you can still call on far more when needed. All five senses are heightened and the brain scan suggested higher levels of activity and processing. Tail is lacking bone, composed mainly of cartilage and blends seamlessly with the spinal and nervous systems. On a side note; said tail is extremely sensitive and causes a highly pleasurable reaction within the body, near akin to an orgasm…mmmm, physiology is damn near identical to any female found here on Earth from what the tests showed. Good on that if you ever wanted kids with Naruto, eh?"
Tsunade spoke with a practiced precision honed from years of medical expertise as she systematically scoured the notes in her hands. The busty blonde was having a major case of giddiness as the smirk on her painted lips could attest to. Who, in all honesty, could claim to having given a complete medical assessment to someone from off-planet? The whole concept still seemed unreal in her eyes.
Lala sat across from her on the room's lone examining table, unabashed and completely indifferent to the fact she was butt-naked in front of another person. Her slender legs swung back and forth merrily in a child-like fashion while awaiting the results. There was nothing to worry about; she felt amazing! The only time Lala actually grew flustered under Tsunade's scrutiny was when the medic had proceeded to check her pelvis and breasts for any troubles. Naruto's grandmother (who wasn't actually his true grandma…imagine that) had spent most the time asking her questions about herself and the girl hoped that her responses were approved.
"I'll have your blood work finished by tomorrow." The diamond-marked woman said as she turned away from her papers and sent a smile towards the younger female. "Are there any other concern or problems on your mind?" Lala's expressive eyes tilted upwards as a finger tapped her lips in thought.
"Well…my sister's birthdays are soon and I don't know what to buy them-"
"I meant about your health." Tsunade cut in with a small chuckle. The pinkette's mouth opened slightly in understanding before her tresses shook back and forth. Satisfied by the current outcome the Hokage pushed a hanging pigtail back over her shoulder and motioned for her to stand. "Very well. We're finished here."
"Peke!"
"Yes, ma'am!"
Lala's body was overtaken by a gooey mess as the small robot floated over from her spot on the nearby table. The red shirt, white shorts, and sandals shimmered into existence and covered her decency with only a miniscule fuss. Truly, Tsunade was bowled over by watching the little automatic puppet thing melt away and turn into actual clothing but chalked it up to crazy alien technology. Lala had created this Peke all by herself? She'd give any of the Nara a run for their money in the intelligence department. The duo stood as one and the blonde opened the door for Lala to walk through. The privacy seals deactivated the moment the wood detached from the doorframe, glowing slightly before fading away into the simple ink it was painted with.
"So are you enjoying the village so far?"
"It's really nice. Naruto-kun showed me some places and we walked around, but there's still so much to see." They walked side by side down the hall, occasionally passing a patient or worker that greeted the double-threat leader/head doctor with respect. To Lala it was a weird yet interesting notion, seeing as literally no one knew who she was by sight. She was just another 'Average Joe' here in Konoha and the prospect was unusual to one that was predisposed to servants bowing to her every few seconds. Something Naruto would one day be shown as well. Walking with her arms behind her back, the girl's whip-like tail once again began to wiggle in anticipation of the future.
"Indeed. It's quite beautiful, especially particular spots at certain times of the day. Is there anything in particular you would like to see before we return?"
Lala just hummed in commitment. "I'd like to go back to Naruto-kun. He was going to get some money from Mr. Ero-sennin and then we could shop."
"I'll walk you back then." she added with a slight grin before pulling on her long green coat from the main desk's coat rack. Their travels were made in relative silence except for the continuous thud of Tsunade's heels striking the floor until the Slug Sannin twisted sharply at an intersection and began walking down a side street, forcing Lala to match her speedy gait lest she be left behind. This wasn't the way back to the large red tower as she remembered.
"Um, Ruto-Baa, where are we going?" Tsunade felt a muscle twitch at the teenager's unassuming question, more at her lovely new nickname that seemed to have been born thanks to the jinchuriki's lack of respect when addressing her. Lala was innocent in the matter; she just seemed to find it easier to go off of whatever her betrothed had already labeled a person.
"Please just call me Tsunade." she ground out with a slightly strained smile before dropping her annoyance altogether. The peppy alien just acted too playful to stay mad at for long periods of time…sorta like a plucky puppy. "But first, answer me this. How many sisters are we talking about?"
"Two. They're twins. Momo loves plants and Nana adores animals."
"I don't know too much about creatures besides checking with the Inuzuka kennels but I know where we can go for plant life. Yamanaka Flowers is an acceptable store for most things gardening." Luckily enough there was only one store in the village for all of your express foliage and shrubbery needs. The very store Tsunade was set for. Naruto and Lala could handle going without seeing each other for a bit longer; they had the rest of their lives to be stuck in other's presence. The well-endowed kunoichi just wanted to learn a bit more about the girl while she could. That included her immediate family. What better way to learn about an alien monarchy than by one who was stuck dead center in the middle? The ticket was skipping along beside her.
Besides, Tsunade barely ever wasted her hours just having good ol' fashioned 'girl time'. As a youth the war had preoccupied most of her early life and the woman had to contend with loss after loss. Any semblance of her knowing a 'normal' teenage reality had flown out the window once she entered the ninja academy and even then the odds were low she could just go out and shop for clothes while giggling about the boys with her classmates. Wartime had lowered that straight down to a big fat zero. As of now Shizune would just follow at her heels and give suggestions (boring, despite loving the crap out of her apprentice) and Sakura spent more time with the women her own age. Paperwork could simply wait for now. Perhaps it was time to waste her money on something other than a game of dice for once?
Meanwhile a few streets over one particular person was enjoying the minor calm of the day as they sat on an unoccupied bench of a tea shop. Pale eyes, irises nearly invisible against the whites of her sclera and lacking any sort of distinct pupil, watched the foot traffic go by without any sort of sign to show that she was actually paying attention. Forgoing the relative passiveness of her face, the female's mind was in a constant state of turmoil ever since the day she had been called into her boss's office. It just...when did things begin to spiral so far out of control?
Naruto…engaged…those two words haunted her day and night. Hinata Hyuuga had hoped that one day that particular process would involve herself but now that dream was dashed to tiny little pitiful pieces. The boy she had admired, pined for in their youth for years, giving way to a crush that left her a stuttering mess whenever her was near, was now out of her reach. Unconsciously the byakugan-wielder's hands tightened to the point where the pressure was enough to crack her beverage cup. Spider web fractures caused her tea to dribble against the dusty floor but the mess barely warranted her notice.
She was the one that knew Naruto was special before anyone else. She was the person that always cheered him on, reveling in the fact that maybe, just maybe, her silent appreciation caused some unintentionally synergy that gave him the strength to go on when he was feeling blue. She was the one that worked her ass off ever since he left the village so that one day the blond would return, be wowed by all the progress, and bloody well return all the hot-blooded affection she had saved up!
Hinata was attractive, she knew it well though was extremely modest in her beauty, and while her body and it's…development still caused the heiress to feel uncomfortable in her own skin, the purplenette had hoped the energetic blond would find it appealing. A small voice always believed Naruto found thinner, lesser endowed girls to be more suited to his tastes and it made the kekkei-genkai holder curse her clan's good genes. Why else would he follow Sakura around like the plague? Damn her own ridiculously bountiful chest! Her jacket barely hid her curves anymore and anything bulkier on her torso would just look ridiculous and get in the way of her techniques.
But there had always been hope. If she could just get over her shyness and confess even a small amount of repressed sentiment towards her classmate then it would have been smooth sailing from there since the seed would have been planted. They would have been each other's first love, first kiss, first…oooh, a small blush blazed against the pale Hyuuga's cheeks at the thought despite her poker face. From her own personal investigation into questionable literature and the stories heard around the village, sex with the one you pledged yourself to was supposed to be amazing. Mind-boggling. Toe-spasming. Making her scream and beg for more in its sheer communication of their devotion after the initial pain and discomfort of becoming his lover. Having eyes that allowed one to see through essentially anything led their owner to gain a rather…healthy imagination as well. He would have been hers and no one else's, claiming each other in body and mind while essentially telling anyone else interested to fuck off. Especially to those with enhanced senses; hard to question their relationship if their scent or chakra aura simply permeated off of the other.
And yet there was someone else now that was stealing all of those things right out from under Hinata's pretty little nose. Some sort of sexy foreigner. Naruto and this Lala (she could have spat out the name like it was poison if she truly had `been an insidious person) were now to be married, taking the Hyuuga's place in his life and forcing her to essentially shut down at a basic level to try and cope. All of her planning was destroyed; she had gone into a state of shock after Tsunade's announcement to all of the boy's friends and their teachers. The Juken-practitioner had heard their whispers, how they believed she would have thrown some sort of tantrum at the reveal.
Who did they think she was, Sakura?
Instead her emotional center had shut down in such a way so as it seemed like Hinata had finally adopted her family's outlook on life: stoic and impassive to a fault. Her father would have been proud. Hell, he was proud although Hiashi privately frowned at the cause that forced his daughter to finally start acting like a 'proper' clan heiress. It wasn't difficult to see Hinata's feelings but the head never expressly forbid them nor gave her a push in the right direction. It had been a confidential test of his to see if she would bolster her feelings and fight against the embarrassment that seemed to plague her so. She had failed for years and his disappointment evolved into a reason he pushed her so hard in family training.
No wonder Hinata had become even more withdrawn in her genin days while her baby sister continued to shine. Hanabi had no such qualms in her life, instead being molded to be the leader of their clan from a young age in case her 'onee-sama' was unfit to lead. As of now with the busty Hyuuga's mechanical way of doing things and her experience versus Hanabi's greater training and upbringing, they were in an unsteady tie. Not that she actually cared about that right now.
Taking a small sip of the diminutive amount of liquid that miraculously remained in her cup, Hinata blinked before softly setting the drink down at her side and folding her hands in her lap. As still as a statue the female pondered on what her course of action would or even could be now. The future seemed bleak without her own personal sun around to light it up and it...was…depressing.
"Hey, there she is! Hinata!" Her head gracefully turned to the right as someone yelled out her name, the purple-haired heiress barely reacting to the shout besides the obvious acknowledgment. It better not have been Kiba trying to cheer her up again; while it was thoughtful, her teammate's attempts to help her out of her funk were pathetically transparent. No one was getting in her panties unless they were blond, blue-eyed, whiskered, gunning to be the next Hokage, and named Naruto Uzumaki, dammit!
Oh wait…this was still just as bad as the randy Inuzuka heir hitting on her.
"Sakura-san, Ino-san." she responded evenly. What did they want? Better to find out and then send them on their way. "Is there something I can help you with today?"
"Yeah, uh…" The two girls shared an uneasy glance between them before Sakura stepped forward with an uncertain smile. "How are you feeling today?"
"I am well." She reached over to take another drink, more so to have an excuse not to speak more, when the pinkette decided that retreat wasn't an option and instead soldiered on. Sakura was fidgety though and it was making Hinata rue even entering conversation with her. Impassively she took another sip before glancing downward with an undetectable grimace, wondering where all of her beverage had gone. There were only murky dregs left at the bottom. How odd.
"So you probably were unaware seeing as it just happened earlier today but, uh…did you know that Naruto is back?"
Hinata's cup exploded not one second later, sending ceramic shrapnel in all directions. Said girl merely looked down at the crushed, powdered object in her hands with the same passiveness as before. "Oh dear." she said gently, brushing the shards off of her body and palms with a fluid slowness. There was, however, a minor gleam of confusion and interest hidden away in her glowing features.
Ino had shrieked in fright as the proverbial bomb went off right in front of her whereas Sakura had shielded her face with her arms. At least the cup had been the target and not either of them. They were walking on thin ice as it was and the Yamanaka truly wondered whether or not it would have been safer to just hit on Naruto herself and hope to god Hinata was kept in the dark forever. This was actually more terrifying than that Gaara kid from the Chunin Exams!
"So Naruto-kun has returned…I must greet him accordingly."
Sakura gulped lightly, her own thoughts closely mirroring her mind-walking friend's as the store's atmosphere continued to fizzle uncomfortably. "We…thought you might like to know. He arrived with Jiraiya-sama and his…fiancé and I ran into them both at his favorite ramen stand. "
"…I see. Lala-san is with him now I take it?"
"Most likely. The two seem rather close but, um, well something was said that sounded strange to me. I think Lala may have somehow tricked Naruto into marrying her and he's just warming up to the idea." For the first time in days Hinata's face expressed emotion. Her byakugan activated without reason as her eyes narrowed, expressing untold anger at the very thought. Both girls hastily jumped back as the Hyuuga rose to her feet, ignoring the protesting waiter as they tried to calmly assure her that the cost of the destroyed cup was of no importance. In truth they just wanted the girl out of the store regardless of the expense she had accrued. Her intimidating presence had been losing them customers in the attempt to simply get away from the female and her air of aggressive indifference.
"That is most unacceptable."
"We agree!" Ino jumped in, hands held in front of her chest in a nonthreatening manner. "And that's why we thought someone else could show they really cared for Naruto and that Lala wasn't the best choice for him! You were the first girl we thought of and so, here we are!"
The engorged veins around Hinata's eye sockets shrank as the girl cut off her chakra and released the hold over her doujutsu. She was the best choice to earn Naruto's affection, wasn't she? If that other…other…strumpet thought to use deception to win the blond's heart then the pretty kunoichi would simply have to halt any other attempts. Their idea had merit, and a new plan was forming within that would force Lala to accept Hinata's superiority as the firstborn daughter of one of Konohagakure no Sato's premier clans. It wasn't like her newest rival was some sort of princess similar to herself.
"Do you happen to know where Naruto-kun and Lala-san are at this moment?"
"Well…no?"
"Then we shall find them, shan't we?" Her bloodline flared to life again as the purplenette began to scan her surroundings. This was the moment she always longed for and thought had been lost to her forever. As long as she was not reduced to a stuttering mess once she gazed upon him like when they were younger. There was a possibility that it would be even worse because there was no way Naruto had not grown cuter during his three year hiatus. Still, it was a chance she needed to take.
She had an Uzumaki to save.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
At the same point in time as the other confrontations were taking place, Naruto was walking down the street at a clipped pace. His scroll bounced against his back as the blond continued to head towards the shopping district while Lala was off with Tsunade. Half of his psyche still wished to find them as Lala wouldn't object to his company and the Godaime would at least allow him to wait outside the door for the exam to complete. But Jiraiya's advice surprisingly made sense. He didn't want to appear overbearing but the whole 'world decimation' cloud hovering over his head made the ninja a bit more proactive in her well-being. Plus he generally liked her and wouldn't want anything to purposely hurt Lala.
On another note: what the hell was he going to buy? Lala Satalin Deviluke was a genius-inventor-first daughter of the whole galaxy that could literally have anything she wanted. Naruto understood that with the pinkette's caring and innocent nature, she would simply admire anything he bought her. But it was her birthday. A very special day in one's live, signifying the love of their parents was grand enough that they wished for a child to be a constant reminder of their bond. While Naruto's own were usually filled with blandness or gloom, this upcoming October was going to mark a change.
His parents truly loved him. He now knew that he actually had a mother and father and that they had not simply abandoned him to his fate. They were heroes, sacrificing themselves for the village but more importantly, so Naruto could live on in their place and protect their home. Love was one of the most powerful forces in the world and despite Minato and Kushina being gone for sixteen years the jinchuriki felt that he now had some experience with what the other kids were given freely every day.
The Devilukan princess was quite adamant in making sure Naruto was doused in her own love, innuendo notwithstanding.
He could only sigh and scratch his cheek despite grinning merrily. That damn girl was slowly but surely making sure his affection settled on her. Even Sakura was becoming nothing more than a previous wish for acceptance by a girl he had thought was pretty. Sure, upon seeing her today his old feelings had flared up. His prior stupidity when she had greeted him was just that; him being stupid. Sakura had looked more womanly than he could remember.
But…yeah. Wow. It was crazy. Lala was the better choice between the two. Naruto actually blushed before shaking his head fervently and did his best to focus on the present. Until Akatsuki were disbanded and the jinchuriki were emphatically 'safe' the toad summoner wouldn't have much time for serious romance. However he knew that wouldn't pacify a certain someone, making him believe that his mornings were always going to be filled with waking up to an extra body tucked underneath his covers.
Marrying her…this really was a tough choice.
Why was he dragging his feet? What was the point? Fear of rejection? That element was complete moot since she had accepted the reality of him being the vessel of a massive chakra beast with a caring smile. Arg…Naruto was over thinking things again when he knew for a fact that it was dangerous for him to do so. The shinobi would constantly ponder over and work towards the perfect answer, eventually either discovering what was needed or burning out in the end. How else could a thirteen-year old student puzzle over a forbidden ninjutsu for a few hours and yet come out mastering it to such a degree that he could create dozens upon dozens of solid clones in his first life-or-death battle? With one single solitary handsign? His intelligence may have been lower than most but his tenacity knew no bounds.
A tenacity that was now slowly driving him crazy as he pondered over his future.
Pbbthhhh! Time out! The blond sage had a more pressing problem; procuring a birthday present.
Wait…IDEA! Why didn't he see it sooner? Naruto swiftly ducked inside the correct building once he jogged up to it, proceeding to scour the shelves until his eyes locked onto the item in question. Throwing up a fist in joy he quickly paid for it before the shopkeep realized who he was and sealed it away for later wrapping. Time to head back to the tower seeing as he now literally had nothing to do.
"Excuse me."
But was that really a proper use of his time?
"Hello? Can you hear me?"
Perhaps he could just go locate his old buddies?
"Sir…?"
"Hu-wah?" The voice finally reached his ears as a finger softly tapped him on the shoulder. As Naruto turned the person released a gentle sigh at finally grabbing his attention. The ninja couldn't tell as his newest guest was wearing an ankle-length white/grey multicolored cloak complete with a face-swallowing hood but with that lilting voice, Naruto just had to believe it was a female.
"Thank goodness. For a moment I believed I was trying to catch the attention of a deaf man." The blond immediately and involuntarily scratched at his neck at the visitor's quiet exclamation.
"Ah, sorry about that. Just lost in thought. Is there something I can help you with, err…?" Naruto gestured at her covered features and gloved hands grasped at the fabric in turn once they realized what he was asking. He played a victory fanfare in his mind as it was revealed to indeed be a woman. Score one for the Uzumaki. Her long black hair shimmered in the sunlight, pulled back into a high ponytail that split halfway down towards the middle of her back. Horizontally cut bangs framed her glowing white skin and partly covered a black hitai-ate with the symbol of a flower engraved upon the metal plate. Bright green eyes looked out at him from an attractive face that currently appeared both stern and somewhat apathetic. She was a kunoichi…but what village used such a plant as their symbol? All he could think of was Kusagakure but they had that grass pattern, not a flower.
"I am Shizuka of Nadeshiko Village. I'm currently searching for someone important and perhaps you could assist me? So far my inquiries here in the market have turned up short and I'm beginning to think it was a fruitless endeavor."
"Sure, I have some free time before I need to head back. I might be able to help. Do you know the person's name or what they look like?"
"Of course." she nodded, causing her ponytail to bob. "There are two possibilities actually…either Jiraiya of the Sannin or anyone that he has taken on as an apprentice."
"Oh hey! You're in luck! Not only do I know Ero-sennin, but you just so happen to be speaking to his favorite student! Naruto Uzumaki, nice to meetcha!" Shizuka's eyes narrowed as she looked Naruto up and down, taking in his battered appearance and extremely outlandish taste in clothing while standing in a relaxed fashion. This was the man both Tokiwa and her deceased mentor wanted her to track down? The one with onyx-tinted hair truly did not want to follow through on such a 'favored' tradition of her home…but rules were rules, no matter how much she wished to ignore them.
"I see…" With lidded emerald eyes the kunoichi grabbed at the shoulder of her cloak and made to rip it off, but before she could follow through with the deed her target was yanked off his feet and pulled to the rooftops. Her gaze followed the movement, catching sight of the famed Toad Sage as he furiously whispered and pointed down at Shizuka, Naruto suddenly grabbing at his yellow hair in frustration and wailing in annoyance before leaping after the man's hurried escape. The two males ran off at top speed and the young woman hopped up to engage in pursuit.
"Shizuka-sama, I apologize!" At her side another female materialized, body bowed in respect and forcing Shizuka to pause. The newest person was a rather tall woman with an imposing figure, easily towering over the girl as she stood to her full height. She has a slender physique and large bust with a very angular face and high cheekbones, framed by her short brown hair slicked back along her head. Her eyes were a dull brown and the woman wore a dark shade of red lipstick. A short, backless, red, full-body suit was worn over a set of mesh armor, along with a pair of arm-length gloves and a long apron skirt which opened in the front. Bandages were wrapped around her wrists, covering all of her right leg as well as her left thigh and shin. Rounding out her ensemble was a very long and thin katana strapped to her back.
"No time, Tokiwa. Explain on the way." The newly named woman nodded as both motored into action after their targets.
"I staked out the women's hot springs after the two of us parted on the off chance our intel was correct, as it was a known spot for Jiraiya-sama to frequent. I remained hidden and to my immense surprise he did indeed appear despite our questioning of the locals stating he had been out of Konoha for quite some time. Its obvious now that they were wrong. After confronting him he took off at high speed but not before I heard him mention he had to 'find the brat and get the hell out of here'." she finished quoting as the duo were forced to return to the streets. Both Naruto and Jiraiya had slipped into the mass of foot traffic to disappear but they would not lose their pursuers so easily.
"We both were favored with good fortune today. Though my continuous inquiries always ended on the same note and I was beginning to grow disheartened, my latest target turned out to actually be the Sannin's student. He confirmed it himself."
"That blond boy?"
"Yes."
"Then we can no longer waste any time. Kokuyō is becoming increasingly relentless in his attempts to wed you." Shizuka only scowled as if that name were a foul curse and continued to pass through the throng as quickly as she could. This couldn't have been any easier, could it?
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN I WOULD HAVE TO MARRY HER?"
"JUST SHUT UP AND KEEP RUNNING!"
"I'M ALREADY SUPPOSED TO MARRY LALA-CHAN! I CAN'T MARRY TWO GIRLS!"
"I SAID SHUT IT AND MOVE YOUR GODDAMN LEGS! WE NEED TO FIND LALA AND LEAVE UNLESS YOU'RE LOOKING TO HOST A DUAL ENGAGEMENT PARTY!"
How could this have happened? How did they even know he was back in the village? It had only been one day. ONE FREAKING DAY! More importantly, how could the white-haired ninja forgotten about that promise from so long ago? So he had fought the former leader of Nadeshiko to a draw decades ago after infiltrating their secretive homeland for smut material and swore that their apprentices would finish the fight. It was an honest mistake, seeing as a raging perverted bachelor like himself would likely never find someone to teach outside of a simple genin team. The Yondaime had proved him wrong though and once Minato married Kushina the past had essentially been broken and banished from his mind.
It never occurred to him that the woman would teach somebody that was Naruto's age instead, his second student.
And now she was here, looking to engage Naruto in combat and repeat history. It boiled down to the basics; if Shizuka won then no harm done. A bruised ego and maybe some hospital time. But if Naruto was the victor he would be forced to return to her community and marry her, as per the laws of Nadeshiko. It was a matrilinealty, meaning only girls were miraculously born there and so they were forced to venture outside the walls and find a strong male to serve as their husband. Only the worthy were allowed entrance as well as the occasional exception such as merchants. In spite of such strict decrees, the place was renowned for its attractive inhabitants and many men dreamed of sneaking in or being chosen to court one of the beauties and enter a charmed life of marriage to what they considered a highly sexual being. What many didn't know was that it was basically an agreement to give the kunoichi some children (whether the men wanted to sire any or not) with a looming possibility of actual love blossoming if they were lucky.
Of course the jinchuriki could simply throw the fight. But his stubborn personality and beliefs would never have him back down from such a challenge of strength. The only way he could lose is if Shizuka was truly stronger. That reality was slim to none with the training he had just endured and essentially made his bitch.
The only option was to get out of town before they were cornered. How would Tsunade react if she discovered he had fundamentallypromised the boy to another, years before the child was even a twinkle in his dad's eye? Or Lala? Or…*gulp*…Lala's dad? Yup. Freakin' run. That sounded like a grand idea.
"All we have to do is find your fiancé and head back to Japan! We came and visited, that's what we said we would do! Tsunade'll get over it!"
"You mean Lala, or Shizuka?" Naruto shot back angrily as they ducked down an alleyway towards the civilian section of the market.
"I already apologized! Do you even realize how long ago this was? Your dad was still just a kid and part of my genin team! I never thought I would ever take on an apprentice, let alone two! You're lucky this handsome fellow even decided to pick your sorry ass for my awesome training!" Naruto just shook his fist as they burst out of the shadows and slid along the walls. The hospital was their destination and that was where they would go once the two were sure they had lost their followers.
"NnnnnnnnnnnnNNNNNARUTO!"
WHAM
The orange-clad shinobi was sent skidding along the dirt as a human missile wrenched into his liver and sent him tumbling like a wheel. Besides the cheap shot that had him cough up a minute amount of blood and rattled his mind, he already knew who the culprit currently nuzzling her forehead into his chest was. After all, she seemed to enjoy greeting him with flying tackles and over-the-top hugs. His body could handle Lala's strength when she was excited but really…he liked it more when she just jumped on his back for a ride or wrapped her arms around his neck gently. Naruto simply had to contend with her body weight at that point and not a jarring blow to his organs.
"Lala…*cough*…you're gonna kill me…be gentler…"
"You're so silly!"
A shadow fell across his face as he spit a few silky strands of pink out of his mouth. A grinning blond with familiarly overt breasts was looking down at him teasingly, hands on her hips and legs spread apart defiantly as she loomed over her distant relative. Tsunade thought it was nice to see someone so affectionate towards her pseudo-family member especially if her 'loving' had to keep him on his toes at all times. Tough love…Lala was a girl after her own heart. At least Naruto was sturdy.
"You're looking a little winded there, kiddo. Was there a certain reason you decided to stand outside of Yamanaka Flowers?" She easily lifted him to his feet, dusting off the biju vessel's red cape as a certain pink-haired alien continued to hang off his torso like a person-shaped wind chime. The most Naruto could do was weakly wave a hand as a nervous Jiraiya took the stage. He hopped into the scene and placed a hand on both teenagers' shoulders, grinning brightly while doing all he could to keep his lips from twitching dangerously.
"Tsunade-hime! Good timing; something big just came up and we need to head back." He cut her off before the illusioned female could open her mouth to object. "It pertains to Naruto and could mean a lot of trouble if he doesn't make it back to Japan. Okay? Okay. I'll message you in a few days. Laters!" The male sannin threw a jovial salute towards his former teammate before going through the motions of summoning. As Fukasaku appeared, bony brows risen in bewilderment, the toad was immediately forced to leap into the air as a hail of shuriken impacted the dirt where the four had stood only moments ago.
All those with experience instantly spun, heart rates spiking as the thought of battle and imminent attack enhanced their bodies with a quick burst of adrenaline. The Hokage's eyes landed upon a pair of people running along the walls towards their very location. Women by the looks of it and both were gunning at Jiraiya with a vengeance. So the pervert went and got himself caught again…when would he learn that 'research' was just a quick path to large amounts of pain?
But the whole situation and Jiraiya's reaction up to this very moment were a bit off compared to his normal terror…
A quick snap of Tsunade's fingers and the pair were quickly disarmed by ANBU as they made their final leap and were dragged to the ground, roughly bound by the elite ninjas' arms and hands as the militant leader called out for everyone to freeze. The normal flow of traffic in and out of the Yamanaka's business (that already slowed to a crawl because of their loitering) effectively stopped at the booming voice and backed away because, y'know, an incensed Tsunade was not somebody you wanted to be around. Without even looking over her shoulder she pointed at her former teammate and yelled out with an authority gained by years of controlling the world's largest ninja village. "Jiraiya if you even try and run away now, you're in deeper shit than you already were! Fukasaku-sama, I can't order you to do anything but I ask that you do not use any reverse summoning!"
Seeing as whatever danger he had been called to quell had passed, the old toad eventually returned to the earth with a soft 'plop' of his small feet and took in everyone with shining yellow eyes. "Yeesh, ya don' gotta worry abou' that. I myself am curious as ta what Jiraiya-chan did ta get those lasses so pissed." Pa stroked his pointed beard thoughtfully with spindly fingers before shaking his head and sighing. "Ah bet I kin get it in three guesses though."
The blonde nodded her head before glaring up at the side of the flower shop and jabbing a manicured finger at her feet. Reluctantly, the two males jumped back down as Tsunade's foot began to tap impatiently against the paved road of the market. Naruto allowed Lala back onto horizontal ground but the girl slyly slipped herself around his arm and held tight. The feeling of comfort that the contact gave her caused the rose-haired alien to sigh gently against him and close her eyes, the blond at her side hesitantly shifting on his heels simply because his arm was once again locked between her breasts and he didn't know how to respond without embarrassing himself.
From her spot in the dirt Shizuka was able to view the two teenagers' closeness and released a barely audible scoff. Tokiwa forced her own head around to look at her young master's expression, realizing this job was going to be a lot more complex than they had originally planned for. The initial idea was already filled to the brim with expected difficulties. They did not, ironically…plan for something such as this. Tokiwa had implicitly believed Naruto would take after his mentor and simply be unable to settle down with one girl, which would make the capture easier seeing as there would not be another woman waiting for him to come home at some point. Somebody forgot to look underneath the underneath and plan for all possible outcomes.
'It will only end in tragedy.'
The older Nadeshiko warrior could read her charge's inner thoughts without any prompt; even with the barest minimum of facial tics to give her away. Those two had brought up memories from the past and she bit her lip to refrain from speaking out. That was another reason she hoped Shizuka won the destined duel between herself and the jinchuriki; to move on from the pain of her own tragic history. Looking up at the imposing woman in the green jacket, her body and glare emanating pure leadership and authority to Tokiwa's senses, the brunette cleared her throat and did her best to speak with a few extra bodies adding unwanted pressure to her own. All she knew was the one with their arm wrapped around her torso better keep their hands to themselves.
"Excuse me but…from your actions and how you were able to command these ninja, would you happen to be the Hokage?"
"I am. And you better have a really good reason for attempting to assault one of my soldiers."
"Pardon us, please. When Jiraiya-sama began to run I believed our only chance was about to slip through our fingers."
"Please tell your ninja to kindly get off. As long as no one else tries to run away, we can explain our reasoning behind out actions." the emerald-eyed girl said, flickering her vision up at her captor. The two ANBU gazed steadfast at their leader, faces unreadable behind the silent masks shaped like a generic cat and boar respectively which aided in shielding their naked identities from the world, and awaited her order. These two were potentially dangerous but currently outnumbered by skillful shinobi. With a nearly minute downward tilt of her chin, the silent command was given and the ANBU released the women and backed away just far enough to react if necessary. Shizuka calmly dusted off the front of her body and most of the filth marring her cloak before bowing her slender neck. "Thank you."
"Just get on with the explanation before I have you arrested."
"Before anything, I just want it on the record that I had no prior knowledge of any of this until today." Naruto added swiftly, arm raised for attention and causing Tsunade to huff.
Jiraiya was less than thrilled.
"And I want it to be known that it's been freakin' decades since this originally happened and I barely remembered it until it was shoved in my face!"
"Let everyone know that a certain old pervert is looking to have me break my foot off in his ass again!"
"A certain unpleasant child needs to learn what the hell an 'honest mistake' is and to lighten up before he grows up into a more ungrateful bastard than he already is!"
"My parents had me after they were married thank you very much, you doubtlessly STD-ridden prick!"
"I'm as clean as a hospital surgery room! Kushina would have beaten your much-needed manners into you and I'd have loved watching every minute of it!"
"WILL YOU BOTH SHUT UP!" The two ninja were in each other's faces, metal plates grinding against each other so hard that the friction caused sparks to burst into existence with every forceful push. Lala released her grip and now stood near Tsunade as she watched the two fall back into belittling each other, a finger pressed against her lips in wonder as she watched the free show. The busty Hokage had to step forward as the two dropped off into a series of growls and teeth grinding before grabbing their cheeks rather vigorously and slamming their skulls together with a loud crack and enough force to demolish a house. Smacking her hands together with gusto the blonde sighed and stared down at the two twitching bodies with something akin to ridiculousness. "Seriously? Are you two serious? Haven't you two been at each other's throats enough already? You're ruining business for the flower shop with your unwanted machismo!"
From the partially opened doorway, a man with long, pale-yellow hair pulled into a ponytail and jounin shinobi gear shot his boss a grateful smile. Why did fights always have to drop onto Inoichi Yamanaka's doorstep?
Lala took to kneeling near the lump of her what now constituted as her 'boyfriend' and poked him gently with a dainty finger. He groaned as the tip of her digit rubbed against his yellow (which was suspiciously turning crimson) hair, proving to the pinkette he was still alive if barely. Yay. Fukasaku croaked, shielding his laughter behind the noise.
"And you…talk. Now." Tokiwa gulped as bright yellow-brown eyes turned to bore down on the outsiders. Even Shizuka felt a shiver of fear slip down her spine, and she was a young woman that barely expressed any worthwhile emotion anymore. Without wasting another second the taller Nadeshiko female told the tale of their village's gender discrepancy, Jiraiya's 'visit' and the impression that was made upon their former leader, and the promise that was made for their apprentices to meet on the field of battle. As the speech continued on, Lala felt as though a large question mark was forming over her crown as the babbling continued on until a few specific words were able to pierce through her selective hearing and finally make her stop rubbing Naruto's injured head lovingly.
"Marriage?" Her tail suddenly stiffened and went as straight as a rod. Leaping into a standing position with a cute little grunt, the princess damn near teleported across the ground until she was in Shizuka's personal space with a smile a mile long on her lips. The ravenette pulled back in alarm at Lala's sudden speed. She had barely sensed the girl's movement! Who was she? "You want to marry Naruto-kun too?"
"I-I-" Clear the throat. Act like you were not surprised. "I do not actually, but I do not have much of a choice in the matter."
Lala blinked, her tail no longer expressing her excitement as it returned to her normal hanging flexibility. "Eh? That sounds stupid."
Shizuka felt her jaw drop slightly.
"I mean, I want to marry him because I want to. But I originally didn't want to but then he was super nice and took care of me and before I knew it I fell for him despite him not actually wanting to marry me also but I think that's starting to change because he doesn't get as embarrassed anymore except when I get in bed with him or have him bathe with me but I think that's really cute and-"
"You need to take a breath, girl." Tsunade placed a hand gently on the pinkette's head, mushing her curly-cue flat and slowly pulling her away from the other teenager. "And it sounds like we might have to have a talk about selective privacy." Lala's response was to allow sweet, sweet oxygen to flow back into her lungs with a long, drawn-out gasp.
Shizuka was speechless. A few unsettling pangs lanced through her heart at Lala's conviction towards the boy she cared for but was able to squash the hurt with sheer will. This was no time to break down or show weakness. Even Tokiwa felt herself at a loss for words at just how enthusiastic the other female was over the blond ninja. Finally, Shizuka coughed into her gloved hand to try and regain some composure before staring proudly at the ninja leader and the girl smiling brightly at her hip.
"Be that as it may…I am here to formally challenge the student of Jiraiya the Sannin to an honor duel. Let this Naruto Uzumaki know once he regains his bearings that if he wishes to stay betrothed to her-" she pointed towards the extraterrestrial, "-then he should hope that I come out as the victor. I will not accept anything less than his best however."
"I object." What was up with people surprising Tsunade and co. today? The older kunoichi snapped her neck to the side as a group of three walked in on the scene. Well, well; if it wasn't her own wayward apprentice, the girl's less-than-modest blonde frienemy, and the current heiress in the running for head Hyuuga. Surprisingly it was Hinata that had spoken, her tone still extremely docile as she scanned the amassed assembly with her unnerving eyes. Until they landed on the girl standing next to Tsunade. The veins around her vision bulged explosively with raw chakra as she focused herself completely upon the curvy pinkette. Her thin line of a mouth dropped into an angry grimace that helped express the most emotion anyone there had seen on her in quite some time.
Lala thought the throbbing eyeballs were creepily awesome as she easily brushed off the killer intent boring down on her figure like the plague.
"And who are you to deny me my right as Nadeshiko's leader?" Shizuka shot back, turning her own glare upon the intruders. The Hyuuga matched her glower for glower and if one were to look close enough, the barest hint of sparks could be noticed arcing between their shared line of vision. Hinata clenched her fist and brought it to rest against the curve of her chest, taking a step forward towards the Amazon-like warrior to state her piece. Chin held high, body straight, and pale eyes flaring at will, all with a blank face.
"The heiress of one of Konohagakure's Four Great Clans, Hinata Hyuuga. I had a claim towards Naruto before either of you and will not stand to hear you talk about Naruto-kun as if he were some sort of prize."
"Village leader trumps clan head. Besides, if you had a 'claim' as you seem to think is your right, then how come you never did anything about it until he was already caught in this string of relationship problems?" The black-haired cutie waved her hand between herself and Lala before retracting the limb back inside her cloak and glancing towards Naruto, who only just begun to gain his bearings after the severe brain trauma that had been inflicted upon him. The beautiful purplenette just then noticed that her crush was actually in attendance, having focused solely on her new hated rival(s) up until now even with her byakugan activated, and felt her world rip away as the mental conditioning from her younger years take hold. A miniscule pant broke out from her composed stature as her face immediately burned a deep red. The time apart had done the boy good. Very…good. He was injured...but oh so good.
Hinata nearly fainted but continued using her telescopic vision to stare at the flame-coat clad boy.
"I…I chall-challenge y-you both t-t-to…a,a Shikō Kettō (Supremacy Duel) instead." she barely stuttered out, allowing both Sakura and Ino to help keep her on her feet as only the elder generation gasped at the implication. The younger simply waited in silence until a certain jinchuriki awoke groggily and was pulled into a sitting position thanks to his current fiancé candidate. Lala wasn't the only one now with options it seemed, even if he wasn't fully aware of it yet.
"…what'd I miss after…whatever just happened to me?"
"I'm not the only one that wants to marry you! The Shizzy girl wants to fight you but then the other one with blank eyes said she claimed you already or something because I guess she likes you, and Shizzy-chan said she didn't have the right when suddenly Hooga-chan challenged both of us to a shiki kettle!...what's a shiki kettle?"
"…wha?"
"Don't call me Shizzy-chan."
"Wait…" Naruto blinked his eyes rapidly before slowly looking around the road, where a large group had gathered to witness the whole energetic scene. "I was claimed by a Hooga? What's a…H-Hinata?" Blue irises finally cleared enough to land on the thoroughly embarrassed ninja as she alternated between glancing at him for one second before looking away for another five while hiding behind her pink-haired medic's thinner frame. "Since when?"
"A-always…" she whispered, one eye peeking over Sakura's shoulder while somehow maintaining her monotone speech. The sight of her beloved blond had really supercharged the gal in the few moments they had been in each other's presence. Hinata's former blank slate had crumbled instantly. The sudden 180 in her personality was a shock, though not as big as the one where she had mentally shut down to the point where she had been only a shell of her former self. "Ev-ever s-s-since the be-beginning of t-the ac-ac-academy…"
Naruto was unable to think of a response and therefore took to blankly watching the girl fidget behind his teammate as the petite gal tried to maneuver her into the spotlight. By some unseen agenda, the pale Hyuuga shrank in upon herself and bit her lip before breathing out her nose and pushing past the pinky with a few shaky steps. Perhaps it was Shizuka's confused yet superior tilt of her head or Lala's pouting lip as she clung to the man she cared for, but Hinata's timidity slowly drowned against the wave of guilt she felt for not acting years ago. The soaring blood flow receded until it was merely a pink tint heightening her snow-white skin as the emotional mask she had crafted dropped back into place. There was no longer any time for Hinata to be nervous.
"And…and that is why I cannot allow this to go on any longer. You do n-not truly wish to marry this girl, do you? How she tricked you into your engagement? Oh yes, I-I've heard about your slip of the tongue at the ramen stand. And that is why…with the Shikō Kettō I will free you from your unwanted bond." Naruto and Lala quickly glanced at each other, searching for the meaning behind her words. Yeah Lala originally sorta kinda pulled the wool over his eyes but the pair already sorted out the rough patches in the thing they called an engagement.
As Hinata and the others continued on with their posturing and insults, Tsunade calmly walked towards the center of the circle and raised a single finger up near her face. Looking left, looking right, the woman nodded to herself before driving the pointer straight into the dirt like a she was pressing a button for all it was worth. The explosion that ensued ripped the rock and soil into large chunks that bucked and cratered underneath everyone's feet as they fought to stay upright. The move effectively shut everybody up and stopped the gaggle of females from doing any more than sniping at each other. Her elite guard had scattered at her outburst, ushering the crowd to part and setting up a perimeter now that things were no longer a simple argument. As for Tsunade herself, the lone Senju maintained her rhythm by wiping the now dirty digit on her coat and clearing her throat as every single person, both involved and not, looked to see what she had to say.
"This was entertaining while it lasted but I'm ending this now." she uttered while brushing past a hunk of stone nearly blocking the view out of the Yamanaka's front window. "First off, I believe I have a few solutions to what has been brought to light here today. Shizuka-san, Hinata; back off or I'll make you. Naruto, you are going to fight Shizuka and lose. I don't care if it's against your nindo."
"That's not how it works, Tsunade-sama." Tokiwa announced, getting a dramatic roll of the eyes from the Senju.
"Duly noted. Take a dive after kicking her butt for all I care. Hinata you cannot be serious about the Shikō Kettō. Do you even understand what that means?"
"Of course I do. It is deeply engrained within my clan's ancestry and I was forced to understand its significance." Hinata answered with a sniff of disdain. The girl stood regally, fingers entwined together as her doujutsu dispelled and her face returning to its blank slate.
"Right…well the others don't." Tsunade said. "In other words, it's literally a fight with your very honor at stake. It was a Hyuuga tradition that fell out of use some time ago, back when the law was a lot less strict in regards to personal affairs. It was initiated if it felt as if the Hyuuga's as a whole or the person's own personal character was threatened or ruined by another. The victor could demand anything of the loser as long as it was within their power, while simultaneously showcasing who was superior between the two and restoring the damaged honor. If you agree to Hinata's dispute and lose, she could very well order you to give up your pursuit of Naruto and you would have to comply without argument."
"I accept." Shizuka said, not one second later.
"It's also about fifty years outdated, you can be killed without repercussion if things were to escalate that far since it's an archaic clan law, and I personally think there's no point to it here."
"A ninja must take risks throughout their career. Why should this be no different?"
"Shizuka-sa-"
"No, Tokiwa." The cloak-wearing female made a cutting motion, silencing the taller Nadeshiko soldier. "If it is as she says, then I should be the one claiming such a duel instead. I am the future leader of Nadeshiko Village and this girl has it in her head to ignore and interrupt the customs of our home. How would she like it if I started bad-mouthing things her family saw as traditional? So yes, I will face her. And Lala-san if I must."
A few feet away, a now much more coherent Naruto was whispering furiously to the princess at his side. This wasn't good. Who could have foreseen such a blowout upon returning to the village? Or that Hinata liked him for so long and he never noticed? The hell was wrong with him? He always thought she was sick and prone to fainting spells! She certainly seemed fragile enough and it was a reason why he defended her so harshly. Everyone needs a good push of confidence and the blond took it upon himself to make sure his odd little classmate found her courage.
Apparently it worked.
Things were spiraling out of control.
Why couldn't he have a nice, quiet, stress-free life?
"Lala. You cannot do this."
"Oh? How come? It sounds fun!"
"For one, both of them are trained kunoichi. Plus you can get injured or killed! This isn't a game! And if you lose, then they're pretty much going to ask that you stay away from me and you'll have to do it because you accepted the duel and its consequences! I'm not going to let you get hurt on my account if I can help it! Plus Zastin'll kill me, then your dad will bring me back somehow and then kill me before blowing up the Earth!"
"It'll be fine, silly." Lala turned to stand while ignoring his heated whispers but a hand snaked out and strongly grabbed her about the wrist, forcing her to stop and look back towards the male questioningly. While Naruto was still sitting in between the broken pieces of ground his eyes had sharpened into something fierce that caused the royalty to stare back in wonder at just how focused he was on her.
"I can't allow it. I'm supposed to protect you, remember?" Lala's lips wiggled as she slowly leaned back towards the blond and returned to kneeling in her spot. Her free hand dropped down to her ankles and took to drawing random squiggles in the dirt just to direct her focus somewhere else. Naruto was never this serious; not since their first encounter. How could she really go against such powerful conviction now? It was a tough choice to make. But his act was just like when she dropped into his bathroom all those months ago and he kept her out of the clutches of her father's envoy.
"I know." Her voice came out a murmur, finger picking up speed as the squiggles morphed from randomness into actual calculations that simply went over Naruto's head. She didn't even mean to, it just started happening. "And it makes me so happy to know that. But I'm not as helpless as you think."
"I don't think you can use your inventions Lala-chan. They'll bring too much attention."
"There are other ways. I'm strong too." She quickly poked her tongue out at him before hugging her knees against her bountiful chest. Naruto still had yet to unlatch his fingers from her arm which forced her to lean closer to him. "Can't you believe in me, like I do with you?"
Those words struck something in Naruto's soul and he found himself nodding without realizing what he was doing until it was too late. She did believe in him, wholeheartedly in fact, and to not show her the same level of trust stabbed at the boy's emotions like a red-hot knife. Lala's carefully neutral visage quickly grew into a shining smile as she reached out her hand and rubbed it against his cheek fondly. If anything it caused him to blush and her to giggle at how he squirmed slightly against her pleasant touch. This was how it should have been, and how she hoped their relationship would always be between them. Quarrels were unnecessary when both sides were willing to talk matters out. It made the pinkette feel a grander connection towards her mother with how the beautiful queen could gently talk her crazy papa out of any foolish idea he might gain when he was bored.
The Devilukan monarch was bored a lot now that he had systematically brought peace through conquest to the entire galaxy.
From his place on the wrecked ground Jiraiya looked on quietly at the close interactions of the two teenagers. Like Naruto, he had recovered quickly from Tsunade's brain scrambling and kept himself disguised as being barely lucid. What a clusterfuck this was though; three girls, fighting over his apprentice to essentially bed him at some point. The old sage was proud but dammit it was an unwanted circumstance. He really had forgotten about the whole Nadeshiko thing but would they really believe him? Fukasaku stood at the pervert's side, knowing full well he was awake, and sighed at how things were turning out. Ma was going to have a field day when she finally heard all the hubbub.
"Oooo! There's no way I can lose! I'm joining too!"
"Are you certain about that Lala?" The girl's head bobbled vigorously, sending her hair and other developed parts of her body bouncing around. The Senju grimaced slightly before sending a quick look towards Naruto who only nodded slowly at the silent question. Shrugging at no one in particular, she had little else to say on the matter. "Very well. The fights will be tomorrow by noon at the Chunin Exam Stadium. Until then I expect the three of you to keep your distance from one another. Cat, please show our guests where the arena is and a proper hotel if need be."
The feline-masked ANBU stepped forward and bowed, armor rustling against her lithe form, before she turned towards the pair of women bent on forcing Naruto into a battle. "Follow me, please."
"One moment. What of my original reason for journeying here? I am facing Naruto Uzumaki tomorrow too yes?"
"If you can win." Naruto's voice floated up exasperatedly, the young ninja's mind already reaching its filling point from all of the day's new intrusions. "We'll only have our fight if you can beat Lala and Hinata." Still squatting in the dirt, the mere sight of the jacketed blond holding a cozying Lala made Shizuka feel distinctly uncomfortable. Hinata's own personal thoughts bordered along the lines of a slasher pic, perceiving herself in the plucky green-eyed extraterrestrial's spot once the competition had been eliminated. The Hyuuga gave pause to wonder if she would ever even have the daring to rub her body so provocatively against Naruto's. Lala Satalin Deviluke was such a hussy!
"I suppose that is reasonable."
"Also I think your choosing a husband by combat and then kidnapping them is stupid, if we fight I'm kicking your butt, and then I'm going to leave and get on with my life." He just had to try and get in the last word didn't he? Antagonistic too. Shizuka closed her eyes and scoffed inaudibly before regarding the blond with a look one would reserve for a child that didn't understand the simplest of concepts.
"You are quite full of yourself aren't you? I hope you conform quickly after transferring to Nadeshiko. I expect my new husband to possess a strong-will. At least I already know you're dimwitted enough to mold into someone acceptable." With a swift nod to her new guard the flowery kunoichi fell in step with Tokiwa flanking her shadow. Tsunade and the others watched the trio of women leave before the busty blonde growled low in the back of her throat, more out of displeasure than anger.
"She's just a barrelful of happiness, ain't she? If only she wasn't essentially a dignitary…even if it's likely she signed in to our guest roster under false pretenses…"
"I too shall take my leave to prepare, Hokage-sama." Hinata fluidly tucked at her waist, long hair dangling over her shoulders before she drew herself straight and fluffed the purple locks back behind her slender neck. The girl then pushed past her leader with a small twirl and stopped in front of the jinchuriki/alien combo. A small heat returned to her cheeks as her opaque irises looked into his brilliant blue, ignoring everything and anything now that she was close to the man of her dreams. "It was so good to see you again N-Naruto-kun. Our next reunion after the duel will allow us to catch up in a…m-more p-private setting." Pale fingers fumbled together for a moment before Hinata dipped her head and left in a small patter of dust.
Silence reigned as Hinata's implication settled in their minds.
But was it as…sexual…as many of them believed it to be? An innocent soul such as the Hyuuga heiress? Preposterous! They were just reading too much into it, what with how crazy the entire day had been. Naruto, Lala, Tsunade, Jiraiya, Fukasaku, Ino, Sakura, Inoichi from his eavesdropping crack in the doorway, and the few adventurous crowd-goers that hadn't been chased away to a safe distance all had their own hypothetical version of the chunin's suggestion clear in their minds but none dared to bring them to light. Or they didn't see a reason to. Or just didn't want to.
At least until one daring blonde charmer clicked her tongue attentively and set a hand to rest on her hip. "Holy hell, I should've brought some popcorn. That was the most entertaining thing I've seen around here in years. Who knew Hinata actually had those kinds of thoughts? Or would even pursue them when given a chance?" Mmmm, the gossip floating in the air was simply delicious…but her glee as she ran a hand through her hanging fringe brought the brunt of Konoha's top role model for female academy students down to bear upon Ino.
"You two better not have been involved with Hinata's brash actions!"
"No ma'am!"
"We were just stopping by my shop and wound up walking behind her! Really, Tsunade-shishō!" Both Sakura and Ino were hanging off each other's shoulders in an attempt to appear nonchalant, laughing awkwardly under everyone's scrutinizing eye before the two froze and darted inside the flower store past the broken rubble. A rush of misty atmosphere filtered out as the door pulled open and the two chunin disappeared in a breathy huff.
"Yeah I don't buy that excuse one bit." Tsunade snorted and folded her arms underneath her projected bust. Even Pa freed a low rumble from the air sacs in his neck, pulling his toad-sized cloak about his coarse limbs as he nodded along. A quick hop allowed him to stand atop Naruto's head as the boy stood on his feet which let the elder summon have a greater view of his surroundings. All that remained were the two teenagers, the two sannin, and Fukasaku himself. Now that the hype had lifted the crowd had finally returned to the normal flow of foot traffic known in that area of the village.
"Ah gotta say this turned out a lot differen' that I thought it would. Yer both in fer a rough day tomorrow."
"Good thing Lala's a quick learner; we have to come up with countermeasures for both a Hyuuga and the fighting style of Nadeshiko." For the first time in awhile Jiraiya spoke and somberly at that. There wasn't even a minuscule hint of humor in his face as he leaned against the Yamanaka Flowers structure having abandoned his place lying on the ground. "Even though it's been so long since the whole Nadeshiko business went down, I'm still to blame. Lala will have to outmaneuver Hinata and Shizuka tomorrow and we'll need to give her as many tips as she can remember."
"I'll remember them all!" Lala crowed, thumping her chest.
"Good. Because you're going to need it." The sage pushed off the wall and began walking away from the small group. "Tsunade-hime, you were taking Lala to get something right? Send her to Naruto's apartment when you're done. Pa, Naruto, you're with me. We can get a head start on things while the girls are finishing."
"Oh, uh…right? Don't worry Lala-chan. You're gonna kick butt tomorrow." Pa smiled crookedly as the pinkette raised her fist in agreement. It did nothing to lower Naruto's worry and yet the whiskered shinobi grinned back anyways at the look of determination shining in her dazzling eyes.
"Yeah!"
With a quick set of goodbyes the two toad summoners plus one set off for the boy's dingy home to begin planning. Naruto couldn't even feel his ire towards his teacher any longer; when Jiraiya became serious, like actually dead set on making a decision and following it through to the end, there was no longer any time for pettiness. It wasn't his entire fault that the day had turned out like it did. At least he was humble enough to admit to the slip up and offer a solution.
It was times like this that Naruto could see past the goofy pervert and get a glimpse of the self-assured man that helped shape the Yondaime Hokage into the warrior that nearly decimated Iwagakure single-handedly in the last great war. The man that lost one teammate to the darkness just as Naruto had and yet continued on stronger than ever. History truly repeats itself…and the great and gallant Jiraiya would make sure his apprentice had the feminine support in his life that he himself didn't way back when.
Total annihilation of the world was also a bit of a contributing factor but the lion-maned shinobi wouldn't admit to that just yet.
On a separate note, a very self-conscious Yamanaka and Haruno were being subjected to the intense scrutiny of one highly experienced member of the Interrogation Corps. Not even Inoichi's daughter, someone whom he had taught personally about the art of cross-examination and raising her own resisctance to being grilled, broke down within minutes as her father formed a certain familiar handsign that spoke volumes on the implied threat. There was a reason the Yamanaka clan were known as the best mind-readers in all of the Elemental Nations; if they were after a piece of information then the most you could do before they ripped it from your memories was to try and stall for time.
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How come every time he had a hangover someone decided that bellowing at the top of their lungs was a great idea? Zastin was never any good with alcohol and it was the very reason he barely ever touched the bitter burning liquid. He was the best swordsman in all of Deviluke and the personal bodyguard of the three royal princesses for crying out loud! To be wasted while on the job would be a blight against the king himself and surely end in the grey-haired man's execution. He only surreptitiously drank a few cups when it was that rare time of year where Zastin was actually off the clock. But since he and his two underlings had been compelled to hunt down Princess Lala, the scorpion-tailed warrior was set on a dry spell that could only end when his job was put on hold.
His muddled mind failed to remember the why of his alcohol binge but it must have been pretty desperate, because the situation he had found himself in totally called for a drink. Or seven.
"-WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE SHE IS?"
Why did he decide to pour that liquid heat down his throat? Something about Maul's sister getting married…or she had a kid? Parties usually drowned people in beer and liquor. And cigars. Where the hell was his cigar? It was a celebration! He'd have to hunt down his black-haired assistant and finagle his damn smoke out of the stingy bastard.
The holographic screen projection of Lala's childhood friend was an odd sight but he chalked it up to the aftermath of his hangover.
"Ren-dono…please lower your voice…" The man covered his ears in a vain attempt to cancel out the noise. No such luck.
"HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM? MY DEAR LALA-CHAN COULD HAVE BEEN KIDNAPPED BY ONE OF HER MARRIAGE CANDIDATES AND YOU'RE SITTING THERE ON YOUR ARMORED ASS!"
"Please be quiet…" Bloodshot eyes cracked open for a moment before the swordsman buried his head in his arms and attempted to find a comfortable spot on the table he was leaning on. "I'm almost positive that she is in Naruto-dono's capable hands…" That's right; Lala was missing. He had searched high and low for the peculiar pinkette, getting lost on more than one occasion with the unfamiliar landmarks, until he was quite certain he could have drawn a complete map of the entire town of Sainan without error. His worrying was through the roof and yet his exhausted mind realized that both her fiancé and his guardian Jiraiya were gone too. It was summer vacation and the trio vanished…the simple solution was Lala forgot to alert the other Devilukans to their plans.
Such a ditzy girl.
But who cracked open the Deviluke-Brand Hellfire Whiskey?
The boy in the hologram paused before his next tirade could begin, the unfamiliar name rolling off his tongue oddly. "…who is this Naruto person?"
"…ugh…he's the candidate that Lala-sama currently favors. Heavily, at that…"
"You…you left her alone with a possible contender for her hand in marriage? …YOU FOOL!"
'Stop screaming you damn brat!' Zastin thought murderously. The pounding only increased in tempo. "Odds are the both of them are currently with Jiraiya-sama…"
"I don't care who this Jiraiya idiot is! I knew her safety would fall to me once I learned she had escaped from the grand palace and your watch! With this I can surely prove to Lala-chan just how worthy I am, and how my manliness overflows-"
CRUNCH-ZZZZTZZZZBZTZTZZTZTZZ-PHTTT!
Any further words this 'Ren' fellow may have declared were cut off as the floating holographic projector was crushed between calloused fingers. A few seconds of static followed before the line went completely dead, snuffing out the last bit of bioelectricity stored in its crystal processors and the converters keeping its power threads stable.
"…sweet relief. Thank you, Smutts…"
"Who the hell is Smutts?"
That…was not Smutts voice. Nor was it Maul. But only those three had access to the ship! Whipping his head around (in hindsight, a very very bad idea) Zastin was able to make out the blurry outline of a tall, thin man with an athletic build wearing a loose dark blue shirt and tannish baggy pants. His hair was pure black, spiking backwards before gravity took over and forced it to fall towards his neck. A red headband helped keep the male's bangs out of his brown eyes which currently mirrored Zastin's own with the amount of blood vessels throbbing lividly within them. He also looked angry. Confused…but angry, if the muscle jumping in his sparsely bearded chin was anything to go by. The metallic remains of the alien technology dropped to his feet as his digits relaxed, clanging loudly in the silence.
The two stared each other down as the armored-carapace being worked to regain his bearings. His brilliant battle-hardened mind came up with the simplest question to ask a stranger who had wandered into a highly restricted (and controversial for Earthlings) spaceship.
"Who are you?"
It just set the man off. "Who am I? Who the hell are you, buddy? How did you get in my goddamn house?"
"H-house?" Oh. That made sense. Now that he looked around it was definitely not the living room of his Devilukan front-line shuttle. Extraterrestrial alloy was replaced by wood and paint, family pictures adorned the walls instead of viewing monitors, and he himself was halfway propped up on a couch and a small scuffed coffee table. He found his two subordinates as well; Maul was upside-down lying on his back against the television set with his legs in the air and Smutts had crawled halfway into the kitchen before passing out in a puddle of orange vomit. Noooooooooot gooooooooood. "This isn't my ship." he restated plainly.
"You're damn right it's not. Ship? You look nothing like a boat captain…weird ass cosplayer." It was then Zastin heard the unfamiliar human utter a sentence that would change his life, and the lives of those around him, for better or for worse. "Wait. Where's the wall to our backyard? Why is there a fucking wall missing from my house!" Well…that explained the debris on his clothes, gentle breeze ruffling his messy hair and cape, and the rubble strewn about the wrecked living room. Only two hungover gentlemen would take that long to notice the glaring structural change.
Zastin vowed he would never touch a drop of alcohol again if he came out of this in one piece.
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY HOOOOOOOOUSE?"
Saibai Yuuki was not a happy man that day.
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A/N: Who has two thumbs and barely any free time? This guy. School seriously sucks this semester…criminal law is a bitch. Oh and for those who are wondering: Tsunade = Ruto-Baa. Lala calls Saibai Yuki by the nickname Rito-Papa so I figured she'd do something like that here. Plus I like the sound of that better than Naruto-Granny .
Thanks to Nasuren for helping me with some of the ideas he'll be seeing I added once he reads this chapter.
Check my page too, yo. There's nice new poll waiting for people to interact with it and six different challenges looking for someone to adopt them. I wouldn't mind seeing what people could do there with a healthy dose of imagination.
On a separate note, I have something I need to ask; what's up with certain fanfiction situations in both Naruto and Harry Potter? Pretty much every single story that I have ever read where Harry or Naruto has siblings, with the wrong Boy-Who-Lived or variations of the Kyuubi sealing, they are left behind by the parents and ignored. Every. Single. One. And then either the parents and siblings hate the MC or overlook them before suddenly Naruto/Harry shows them all by growing on his own or finding a teacher, leaving the family behind with their mega skill. Family suddenly grows remorseful after X amount of years of neglect once their blatant shortcomings are slammed in their face by either the MC or another, feeling the intense need to win back Naruto/Harry's favor despite the fact they never wanted it before which falls flat because MC is now a badass, or it's thought that he's gone dark/rogue/evil thanks to his new experience. And the sibling is arrogant with a god complex of Voldemort/Sasuke, or mirrors what the village/society does to the MC because all their life they've been told their sibling is a waste of space. Oh, and in the Harry stories he has a younger sister named Rose that he loves dearly, the only other Potter to actually care about him.
Seriously. Haven't there been any that involves the family actually caring about all of their children? Or have I just overlooked them somehow? It just irks me that they all literally have the same premise with minor variations. Oh sure, each author does their own unique things which I understand but just…well, I guess you see where I'm going with it. I'm not saying all of them are neglectful and all that…but those are the ones I've always seen. Or are these stories just a bunch of challenge responses? If so, disregard rant.
