Disclaimer: I wish.

"So, are you going to ask Ron to the Yule Ball?" asked Ginny casually.

Hermione spewed the Pumpkin Juice Fred and George had smuggled up to the Common Room for them all over her friends open Transfiguration textbook.

"Hey! What was that for? It was only question for Merlin's sake…" grumbled Ginny as she hastily wiped up the mess with the end of her robes.

Hermione reached over to help clean automatically, clearing the mess with a simple vanishing charm.

"Non-verbal?" asked Ginny.

Hermione nodded distractedly.

Ginny sighed. "Ok, so you don't want to ask him. But why not?"

"Well, because… you know… er…" she trailed off, searching frantically for an excuse. "Because of what Chapter Three of Twelve Fail Safe Ways to Charm Wizards said! Don't you remember?"

"Er, no? Honestly I haven't looked at the thing since school started, a lot has been going you, y'know?"

Oh, she knew. It was amazing she even had had time to sleep at all the entire term. But slept she had, along with keeping Harry alive during his run in with the dragons, and keeping her top marks. Yet somehow, she had even had time to read the entirety of Twelve Fail Safe Ways to Charm Wizards, along with The Map of Men and Don't Worry, He Confuses Us Too. She had yet to look at her printouts about kissing from St. Catchpole's Public Library though, not daring to get her hopes up quite that high.

"There has been quite a bit, hasn't there?" Hermione smiled. "Would you like to look at it though? Just in case you're inclined to follow your own advice and ask out a certain Champion?"

Ginny blushed. "You know Third Years aren't allowed to the Ball unless their asked…" she mumbled.

Hermione grinned wider and summoned her book down from her dormitory and into the Common Room, where they were currently studying alone while everyone else was sleeping seeing as tomorrow was the last day of the term

The novel came whizzing down the staircase, and Hermione ducked to avoid decapitation. Ginny caught it deftly and handed it over to her less coordinated friend.

"Thanks. Right then, Chapter Three: Being Available… But Not Available."

Hello once again ladies,

So, you're friends at last! Perhaps this is the closest relationship you've had with any boy, or perhaps you've never known a male for this long without French kissing him. But by now, hopefully you've decided that either you actually don't like this guy as a person and you no longer want any contact with him because he's simply a prat, or this is a boy you want as a friend, but nothing beyond that really, or you still want him as more.

If you chose either of the first two options, then it's been a pleasure helping you move on and you may stop reading here and go on with the rest of your life (or check out my other novel entitiled "How the Bloody Hell to Give Your Guy Friend Girl Advice"). But if you chose option three, then it's time to begin Step Three, which I like to refer as ThisStepIsMessingWithMyHead.

I say this because it is a rather confusing step. Most commonly at this point in a guy and girl friendship, your boy doesn't usually think that you like him as anything more than a friend. And you want to give him the opportunity to ask you out, but you also want him to go, "Hey, this girl that I'm hanging out with is actually a girl, and she could be my girlfriend!"

So maybe ask him for some advice about another guy, but don't specify who. Or go out on a casual date with someone else if you feel so inclined.

My fourteen year old son would like to interject that teenage boys hate it when girls play games with them. But I would argue that it's necessary sometimes, depending on the boy. (Which is my way of saying, don't get caught messing with him.)

Remember girls, this step is tricky, and it is likely that you're head will feel as if it is about to burst.

Oh, I'm so glad that I'm not in your position! Never the less, good luck!

Almost before Hermione finished reading the chapter aloud, Ginny was pushing the mountains of parchment and textbook off of her lap, and getting off the couch.

"Where are you going?" asked Hermione, turning to watch as Ginny headed up to the boys' dormitory's.

"To tell Neville that I'll go with him to the Ball," she said. At the alarmed look on her friends face, she smirked. "I suddenly feel inclined to go on a casual date with someone else."

Hermione's thoughts whirled as Ginny disappeared up the staircase. Maybe… she should feel inclined to go a casual date with someone else as well.

The next evening, she was in the library. It was empty, which was not a surprise. Classes had ended nearly an hour ago, and almost nobody was going to start their winter break homework until after Christmas. But she knew he would show up.

And surely enough, an hour later, when she was almost finished with her Charms Essay, a large shadow appeared over her parchment.

"Hermy-own, vat are you doing in the library? It is vinter break!"

Hermione was rather shocked, usually Victor Krum just lurked around the shelves. He had only spoken to her once before actually, she panicked. What had she been thinking? There had been no clear indication that he had any romantic interest in her at all!

"I just thought I'd get a head start on my homework, Harry and Ron are going to want some help with theirs anyways so…" she had hoped that a mention of boys would peak his attention. She had been right.

"Harry? Potter? You are… friends vith him?" he failed to mention Ron.

"Oh, yes, we've known each other since our first year."

"Are you…" he looked like he was attempting to swallow a slug. "Are you going vith him to the dance?"

Jackpot.

"No, we're just friends." She looked up at him from underneath her eyelashes in an attempt to flirt, feeling immensely silly. "I don't have a date to the Ball."

"Oh!" he looked relieved. "Then, vould you like to go vith me?"

She smiled at him. "I would love to."

"So… you never really liked Victor?" asked Ron, looking as though he was on the edge of an epiphany.

"Kind of. I mean, he was really nice to me, and it was the first time I had been seen in that way by a boy," she blushed. "You know, as a girlfriend? But I don't know, I always liked you though. But looking back, you were way to irritating."

"Thanks?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow at her.

"No problem."

So… hi? It's been what, four months? I love you, don't kill me! I don't really have an excuse… but I know that I hate reading excuses from writers anyways, so yeah.

But I can tell you that you will definitely get at least one more chapter out of me before the end of Christmas break, alright? That doesn't make it better though does it? *sigh* I'm so very sorry.