Chapter 8: Gravity*
* Gravity, (2013). Reflection. Hooverphonic, Lyrics by Alex Callier.
A late December storm had blown up and rain that would soon turn to snow was coming down in sheets. Rain and wind beat against Severus' face as he left the castle. He was angry with Dumbledore for sending him on such an errand. His bleak mood had begun at breakfast when Slughorn cornered him, pressuring him to attend his Slug Club Christmas party. The old goat would not take no for an answer. An evening of boasting and bragging was not on his list of ways to find peace and quiet over the holiday, but Snape could find no way of skiving off without insulting his former mentor.
His constant frustration with his failed attempts to discover the details of his little snake's plot was ever present in his mind as well. He was sure it was Draco's botched attempt to kill Dumbledore that had injured the Gryffindor girl Katie Bell during the first Hogsmeade weekend back in October. Lucius had shown him the schematics for the vanishing cabinet, but Severus couldn't figure out how it fit into Draco's plans. How did the sloppy attack on the Gryffindor fit into the sophisticated plan for repairing the vanishing cabinet? Assuming the boy managed to get the cabinet to work at all of course. Severus' larger fear was that the boy had no plan at all and was merely acting at random which would make it that much harder to prevent innocent students from being injured.
And now Dumbledore was sending him to deliver messages to the Dragon. He could understand the need to warn her, but anyone could go and fetch the witch. He had spoken his feelings on the matter extensively whenever Dumbledore attempted to meddle, pushing him to make amends with her. He was sure that this was another attempt. He grimaced again as another gust of freezing wind pounded him with ice-cold rain and snow. "Bloody Scottish weather," Snape grumbled and pulled the heavy cloak tighter against himself as he made his way to the apparition point as quickly as possible.
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The juke box was far too loud even for Maya's love of muggle music. Why did she agree to let Charlie Weasley take her out again? The redhead moved towards their table with two pints of ale. The drinking was probably a bad idea but her mood had been as dark as Tonks' for the past several months, which was probably why she had finally accepted Charlie's offer for drinks.
Charlie Weasley had returned from Romania at the beginning of December to spend Christmas with his family. When he ran into Maya at an Order meeting his first night back he had been eager to renew their friendship from the year before. He had been attempting to persuade her to go out with him ever since. His brothers and fellow Order members tried warn the persistent wizard off; insisting that regardless of the frosty silence between Maya and the potions master, there was unfinished business between the two. Their warnings did little to discourage the young man, however.
The thought of Severus made Maya frown. She could actually feel the crease in her forehead deepening and her hand went absently to the pendant at her neck. She had no idea why she still wore it. It had been five months now since he had thrown her out of the house at Spinner's End and she still could not figure him out. When he had returned to the school for the start of term, Maya had thought he might try to talk to her or at least try to find a way to work together civilly. But there had been nothing but snideness and sparks between them since August.
As Maya sat absorbed in her thoughts, the dragon tamer swaggered back to the table with pints of ale in his hands. "Here we go, one pint of bitter," Charlie said with a smile.
'He does have a beautiful smile,' Maya thought, taking the pint from his strong hands. "Thanks, Charlie." She smiled back.
"What made you think of this place?" He looked around the pub Maya had chosen deep in muggle Edinburgh.
Maya had many reasons for choosing a muggle pub including - Dumbledore's continued requests that she stay out of sight - but her primary reason was that it was far from Hogwarts and Severus. "I've been spending a lot of time in Hogsmeade with guard duty and here I don't have to change my face." She chuckled, but it didn't reach her eyes.
"That's a good enough reason for me. It's a pretty face, shame to be changing it all the time," he said, flashing her that charming smile again. "You fancy a go?" He tipped his head toward the dance floor. Pairs of muggle couples were happily moving together on the dance floor enjoying the 80's theme night as music from Billy Idol, Duran Duran, and David Bowie blasted through the speakers.
"Oh I don't think so."
"Come on. It'll cheer you up." He stood and all but pulled her from her chair.
"Charlie, I don't much feel like dancing," but his enthusiasm made her erupt into laughter. She was laughing, really laughing for the first time in months. A part of her was very flattered by the attention. "Okay, okay… keep your hair on. I'm coming," she laughed, following him out to the dance floor.
The first several dances were fast and fun, allowing Maya to take her mind off her non-existent love life and the war. Then the music turned slow and sweet. Without really thinking about it she stepped into Charlie's arms and allowed him to lead the slow dance. The song wasn't heated or seductive but full of lyrics about eternal love and being there till the end and if she had bothered to pay attention she might have been sick from the gooiness of it all.
Maya felt the younger man's arms tighten around her, holding her to him. His stocky frame was strong and she could feel the muscles in his arms move delightfully under her hands as they held each other. Muscles honed from years of quidditch and working with dragons. They moved through the crowd of other dancers slowly making their way to the back of the crowd and as the song ended Maya noticed that they were near the entrance to a back hallway that led outside. When he took her hand, Maya allowed herself to be lead out the door and into the night. The air was crisp on her cheeks and felt refreshing, clearing her mind from the heat and noise.
"Thought a bit of air might be a good idea. Look it's stopped raining," Charlie said.
"It was," she agreed leaning her back against the cool brick wall of the club. "It was getting a little crowded in there."
"Private is definitely a plus as well." He moved closer to her, resting his weight on a hand near her shoulder, his other hand going to her waist.
"Depends I guess." She wasn't going to make it easy for him.
"On what?" he asked softly, leaning in so that his face was so close she could feel his warm breath on her lips and smell the fresh sent of soap on his skin.
Maya felt his warm lips against hers, rugged stubble rough against her cheek. She returned the kiss tentatively unsure how far she was willing to let him go. But then she felt the younger man go riged. Why wasn't he kissing her back? Her eyes flew open to see fear in Charlie's coffee colored eyes. Using the stocky wizard's body to block her movements, Maya wrapped her hand around the wand in her back pocket.
"Think very carefully about what you are about to do Weasley. This particular Dragon is a little much even for you," threatened a very familiar velvety voice.
Severus had used the charm he placed on the cufflinks and her pendant to trace her as far as muggle Edinburgh. He had scowled when the charm had led him into the pub with the blaring music. When he had seen her, looking every bit like herself, dancing with Charles Weasley, the sight of her had stopped him cold and he had to force himself to breathe. And then shock had turned to rage. Reckless, foolish woman! And Weasley? Weasley had been his student, 'arrogant cheeky quidditch playing-.' He made the decision to follow them. When he came through the door out into the alleyway, his first sight was of Weasley, hands on the move, leaning in. Something inside him ignited like dry kindling on a hot day. It was like he was sixteen again, watching James Potter paw at Lily like some animal.
"You've gotta be bloody kidding me," Maya shouted, her adrenaline moved her from caution to outrage in an instant. As she shifted behind the shield of Charlie's muscular body, she could see an all too familiar ebony wand pressed tightly to the young wizard's neck. Her eyes followed the wand and caught sight of Severus in the shadows of some crates stacked against the wall.
"Professor Snape… I …I didn't know… We… It was just drinks," Charlie sputtered.
"Don't you dare try to justify anything to him, Charlie!"
"Easy for you to say," he grimaced as Severus' wand dug deeper. "I thought you said you weren't seeing anyone?"
"I'm not." She fumed and moved around Charlie, swatting away Severus' wand in the process. As she did Charlie quickly stepped away rubbing the back of his neck.
"Great wizard you are Weasley. Run off to save your own hide," Severus mocked the younger man. He couldn't help it. He was having difficulty remembering if he was seventeen or thirty-seven.
"Severus, what the hell do you think you're doing? Why are you spying on me? Don't you have enough to keep you busy? What right do you have saying who I go out with anyhow?" she shouted, drawing the attention of a muggle couple walking to their car.
"Ladon, lower your voice, daft witch," Severus hissed, casting a nonverbal muffliato spell to keep the conversation from being heard by any other bystanders.
Maya fumed and pulled herself up to her full height; combined with the fire in her blue eyes she gave the impression of being much taller than five foot five. "Don't you 'daft witch', me you stubborn miserable git! You broke it off - not me! Did you think I was going to stay at home like some old maid? I'll see who I want, when I want and you'd better deal with it or sod off!" She poked him in his chest with a slender index finger to emphasize each sentence as she railed at him.
Charlie was stunned. No one talked to Snape that way, no one. And the potions master was just standing there taking it. Well, at least he wasn't hexing her to pieces. As Maya advanced on Severus, he backed away until he made contact with the wall on the other side of the narrow alley.
Maya had had enough of his brooding and snarky comments. Then to threaten her date? Snape stood with his back against the wall, dark eyes boring into her and said nothing.
"You're lucky I don't blast you into a million pieces myself, skulking around in shadows, following me around on dates. What are you thinking? You can't tell me I'm needy and pathetic one minute and then follow me around like a jealous boyfriend the next. Severus, make up your mind!"
"What was I thinking?" he finally spoke. "I certainly wasn't thinking you'd slag off with the first wizard of age you came across!"
"Slag? You've a lot of nerve, calling me a slag. Who was it that thought I was Bellatrix last fall? Hmm…I'm sure she'd give you some of her attention. Or what about Lily?" she shot back at him.
Charlie Weasley had suddenly decided that he truly did not want to witness this argument. At the same time he wasn't sure leaving Maya with an angry and obviously jealous Snape was such a good idea either.
"What do you know about - I told you not to ever talk about -" Severus sputtered, pushing off the wall and advancing on her. A vision of his father cornering his mother in a similar fashion flashed in his mind and he quickly turned his back to her, curling his hands into fists in an attempt to control his fury.
In that moment it was like she could read his thoughts. "You are not your father, Severus."
"Don't be ridiculous!" he hissed, rounding on her again but she cut him off.
"You have to let yourself feel something, anything, or you will truly be lost, then they win, your father, Voldemort, Potter! Let yourself feel something other then pain for once in your life. If it's hate, then so be it. Hate me, just be honest. Don't let it be sixteen years later and be calling out my name while you sleep next to another woman."
Severus blanched at her comment. What a fool he'd been.
"Severus, why are you here?" Maya's voice was hard and accusing, echoing off the walls of the alley into the silence that stretched between them.
Without warning Severus grabbed her shoulders, crushing her against him. He searched her eyes as if looking for answers in their clear blue depths. And then he was capturing her lips in a scorching kiss. The force of it shook her and she was sure that time had stopped. She wanted to push him away. She was still angry, but his hands were in her hair and on her face and it was intoxicating. She could feel a million things at once but the only thing she could concentrate on was the feel of his lips on hers, firm and unyielding.
"Well look at the time. Since it looks like you have a way home, I think I'll be going," Charlie said, feeling completely uncomfortable and a little squeamish. But Maya and Severus heard nothing. They spun, still locked in each other's embrace, and disappeared with a quiet pop.
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The next several moments were a frenzy of arms and clothing. Cloak, blouse, frock coat and white shirt were all cast in different directions. Maya had the sense of mind to notice they were in a single room though it didn't look like any inn she knew from Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley. Moonlight shown through the single window illuminating the peaks of rundown neighboring houses and a large smoke stack dominated the landscape. Maya realized they were in the small bedroom at Spinner's End. The next thing she knew his lips were at her neck and she could think of little else. All she cared about was that he was finally with her. She could feel his warm skin under her fingers, his heartbeat strong and steady beneath her hand. His hands were at her waist then dipping below the band of her muggle jeans as he kissed her. She caught sight of the small bed in the corner and gave him a small nudge.
In his hazy mind he misunderstood. Was she was finally coming to her senses and pushing him away? Then he caught sight of the bed and realized that she was following him. He kissed her again, gathering her up in his arms and depositing her on the bed. Jeans and trousers joined the other scattered clothing around the room and the two found comfort and solace in each other. Severus had the realization that although they may always have some struggle for dominance in their relationship, he was more than willing to submit to this beautiful creature. He might fight for her and certainly with her but he would not choose to leave her again.
Maya struggled to catch her breath as her body responded to his touch. In an effort to pace herself and her breathing she allowed her eyes to open only to see his Onyx ones staring back at her with more emotion then she had ever seen there before. She saw fear there but also desire and…love? The sight undid her completely and she closed the distance to meet his lips with hers.
Their lips separated for only a second, breathless, lungs burning for air. "I have wanted you since the day you walked into Albus' office," he said.
She kissed him again, heart feeling things she thought she could no longer feel. "Severus - I love you," she muttered between kisses.
At the sound of his name on her lips he could not help but quicken their pace drawing his name from her lips over and over. His only thought was that heaven could not be as beautiful as this moment.
As they reached their peak, his left hand grazed her right hip. A burning pain ignited at the sight and flared through the identical marks that they shared.
"Did you feel that -" she said still attempting to catch her breath as the blissful cascading sensations washed through her body.
"Yes," he said, not waiting for her to finish before kissing her soundly. He rolled to his side, taking her with him, securing the shabby blankets around them to block the chill.
"Somehow I don't think even you can take credit for that," she trailed off still out of breath.
"Funny. I don't know. I must think on it and right now I'm too drained to think," he said kissing her forehead. "Right now we both need sleep." He waved a hand in the direction of the bedside candle plunging them into dim moonlight.
Severus woke at dawn and watched her sleep as the light from the grimy window grew from murky patches to the full glare of morning. He was reminded of how he had watched her sleep during her recovery. For better or worse she had come back to him, all be it after he showed up and ruined her date by threatening to curse the younger wizard, but it was Charles Weasley for Merlin's sake! She couldn't possibly have been seriously considering him.
Severus pondered his own situation. He most likely would not live through the next year. Why else would Albus have finally given him the cursed Defense position? But he would not push her away again. Slowly his musings replayed the more memorable moments of the previous night and he reflexively pulled her sleeping form tighter against him. She nuzzled farther into his chest and gave a contented sigh. Had he actually told her he wanted her? If he were honest with himself, he was afraid he was close to confessing that he loved her. How could that be? It was impossible. There was only ever one person for him and she was dead. But he couldn't ignore the need he felt for Maya, the need to be near her, to have her say his name with that look in her eyes. Seeing her with Malfoy and Weasley had almost driven him beyond reason. He had been a fool thinking he could be so close to her and not have her in his life. The timing could not be worse though and he shook his head at the irony of the universe. He had been alone for sixteen years and had been content to be so. Now when they were in the middle of a war - a war that he would likely not live through - he found her. The one person in all that time who so willingly accepted him for who he was, past and present, she came to him when it was nearly impossible for them to have any sort of future together.
He shook his head to clear the brooding thoughts from his mind, letting his eyes wander the shabby neglected room, and he remembered something. What had happened with their dark marks? Reluctant to leave her side, he disentangled himself from the sheets and went to the wardrobe in the corner of the small room to find a clean shirt and trousers.
"Morning," she muttered from the bed.
"Good morning." He slid his arms into a clean white shirt and sat at the edge of the bed. He ran a hand over her cheek, tucking a chocolate curl behind her ear. How he had missed the sight of her. "We have a problem."
"What kind of a problem?" Maya eyed him suspiciously. She would hex him if he tried backing out on her again.
"Dumbledore sent me to find you last night."
She frowned. "I guess I owe you an apology then."
He raised an eyebrow at her.
"It still doesn't justify you threatening Charlie, so don't look so smug." A smile pulled at the edges of her mouth, making it difficult for her to keep the stern tone in her voice.
"It seems Albus knows what he's doing at least part of the time. He sent me to warn you. Connell has named you as the Black Dragon. Not everyone believes him. Many still doubt that you're alive or that you could be in England but David Putnam was convincing in his arguments that Sturbridge's death had many similarities with the Dragon's work. Connell traded the information for a business deal with the Dark Lord. The Dark Lord wants him to find an ancient wand and Connell used the information about you to bargain."
"Severus, your cover! You were with me in Boston. What if they make the connection?"
He had underestimated her again, caring more about his safety than her own. "It appears no one showed me much attention, and Sturbridge isn't telling anyone what he saw, is he? I'm safe for now. I think it might be wise to warn Claire though. If they can connect her to you, she may be in danger. The more pressing matter is that it is no longer safe for you to go out undisguised, even in the muggle world. Dumbledore wants your true identity to be hidden at all times."
"At all times?" She smirked up at him, taking the front of his open shirt in her hands and pulling him closer.
"Perhaps not all the time. I'm not waking up next to India Ravenhill." He met her half way, gently caressing her soft lips with his. She smelled of lavender and Earl Grey tea. He loved the sight of her there, though the vision of her in the relic of his old family home, in his old bed, was difficult to take in. It was surreal to see something so beautiful in a place that he only remembered as a source of pain and anger from his childhood. Again, he had the sensation that his past was colliding with his present.
He held her face in his hands, indulging in the urge to trace her bottom lip with a thumb. They needed to go, but he was loath to leave the safe haven they had created in the night. On the other side of the door was a war and uncertainty, beginning with Pettigrew. The rat-like wizard was still in the house. The longer they stayed the more suspicious Pettigrew would become.
"We need to go. We must see Albus soon and don't forget to change your appearance. Pettigrew is down there and he's anxious to find something on me to take back to the Dark Lord."
"About our marks?" she asked reaching for her discarded clothing. As she dressed, Severus stepped behind her, covering her hip with one large hand and caressed the bare skin there. Maya leaned into his touch and sighed against him.
"That mark you have that so closely resembles my own, has it ever pained you before?" he rumbled in her ear, bending low so she could feel his breath on her skin, his lips almost touching her ear.
"No, now that you mention it, it hasn't hurt since I was marked…unless he was using a Cruciatus curse," she trailed off, glimpsing a bit of his worry.
"And that was no summons I felt on my arm either," he said, thoughtfully. "Hurry. We must go." He placed a quick kiss at her temple and released her to finish dressing.
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Severus paced the small space of Dumbledore's office as he and Maya waited for the old wizard to return from breakfast.
"Ah, Maya and Severus, glad to see that you two have worked out your differences." Dumbledore smiled at them. "Please Severus, sit and tell me what has you in such a state." With a look of annoyance, Severus began to explain to Albus, albeit an abbreviated version, of what had happened the night before.
After hearing the couple's tale, the old wizard looked thoughtful. "Well it appears that the dark marks that you each share have bonded and connected the two of you. Maya's bond to her marker was broken with his death. It seems the marks have forged a new bond. Since this was not how Maya's mark was meant to function the effects of the bonding is uncertain. I dare say this is quite unexpected, yet not all together unpleasant," the old man said with an irritating smile.
"Not unpleasant?" Snape said incredulously.
"Albus, what do you mean by bond?" Maya asked, not altogether sure she wanted to know the answer.
"I'm not certain, but it seems that the two marks reacted magically to one another, almost as if they recognized each other," he began.
"But that's impossible! I didn't even know Severus when I was branded," Maya interrupted.
"If I'm not mistaken, I would guess that the two of you came to some sort of agreement on your feelings for each other?" he said. Severus' discomfort was plain on his face.
"You could say it was something like that, yes," she answered for them both.
"It is my guess that the marks were joined by that declaration and will bind you to each other though to what degree, I am uncertain. From what I understand, the original mark was used to control one's partner, to allow the giver to be aware of the receiver's movements and control their actions." Severus responded with a short nod uncomfortable with this line of conversation.
"I can only imagine that Nathaniel didn't think to track me through the mark because he thought I was dead," Maya added solemnly.
"It seems that the unpredictable magical force of love has managed to find a way to mutate the dark magic of the mark. But be careful, we do not have an understanding of the extent of the connection," Dumbledore warned. "There are ancient bonds that result in loss of magical ability, madness or even death if vows are broken."
"Merlin," Maya muttered as the enormity of what Dumbledore was saying sunk in. She couldn't help but think of Tonks and her fading metamorph abilities.
Silence settled on the small cluttered office for several seconds until Severus finally spoke. "And now old man which vow would you have me break, because either way I AM MARKED for defeat," he said, voice calm as the grave. "How am I to protect her now?"
"Wait just a moment, I can protect myself! And vow? What vow? Severus what are you talking about? What's going on?" she demanded. Severus turned away from her, staring out of the tall office window across the grounds of the castle. He could not say it aloud.
"I'm afraid my dear that Severus was required to take an Unbreakable Vow to secure his trust with the Death Eaters," Dumbledore said softly.
"Unbreakable -" she said aghast. "Severus?" She stood from her chair and went to him by the window, placing a hand on his arm. She was shocked by the rare candor in his face and eyes. The guilt and regret were clearly reflected there. "That's why you said you didn't want to see me? You and Remus, two stubborn, noble fools."
"Rumors have been rampant since the beginning of the summer when I did not appear at the Ministry to fight. Bellatrix and Narcissa came to me at Spinner's End. I was cornered, I had no choice," Severus said, willing her to understand.
"A great many things may rely on Severus being well placed in Voldemort's inner circle. He is one of our strongest assets," Dumbledore added.
She nodded, knowing the part he had to play was crucial to defeating Voldemort. She couldn't keep the worry from her mind though. His safety was as precarious as ever.
Dumbledore again seemed to read her mind, though this time she doubted he needed his abilities at legilimency to do it. Dumbledore chuckled sadly. "No, I'm afraid it will kill me before it kills him. Though I don't think that will be much of a consolation to him."
"What were the terms of the vow?" She looked from Dumbledore to Severus, and a frozen chill ran up her spine.
"Draco has been given the task to kill Albus before the end of the term. The vow binds me to watch over Draco, to protect him from harm, and should he fail - to finish the task in his place," Severus said voice calm and steady. He had placed the emotionless mask over his features, awaiting her rejection and revulsion.
"Good lord." She could barely speak. "You know he won't do it!" she shot at Dumbledore. "He would rather die himself than to kill you and if he breaks that vow that is just what will happen. He'll die."
Snape snorted with dark amusement. "I wish you more luck convincing him than I had."
"Either way, my part in this journey is soon to be at an end." Dumbledore raised his cursed and blackened hand. "Helping Harry find a way to survive and defeat Voldemort is of primary importance."
"You actually mean for him to kill you, don't you? You're asking him to choose between his own death and becoming a murderer. Killing the man who he sees as more of a father then his own." Her frustration boiling over, Maya didn't wait for the headmaster's reply. She turned on her heel, leaving the office without another word to either man. The heavy wooden door slammed behind her.
"Alas, it seems I am destined to have two beautiful witches angry with me," Dumbledore said sadly, slumping in the large chair.
Snape gave the old wizard a dark look. "I better go after her, before she incinerates something." He left the office and made his way down the stairs. He had a good idea of where to look for her.
The coolness of the dungeons always centered him, and calmed his nerves, so he took the long way to his chambers instead of through the floo. He only had to go as far as his office to know he was correct. Maya was sitting in the high backed chair behind his desk, a look of fury and determination on her face. She didn't look up at him when he entered the office. Her attention was focused on the wand she was twirling in one hand, something she did when she was thinking. He silently made his way around the desk, standing before her. She looked up, meeting his eyes; he could read the worry and fear there.
Maya braced herself for his lecture; instead Severus leaned down, pressing her lips in a gentle kiss. He broke the kiss only long enough to pull her out of the chair and take her place, pulling her soundly into his lap.
"You know what this means, don't you?" she said, angrily. "When it happens, you'll have to leave. You'll be on the run, Severus."
'There we have it,' Severus thought derisively. She has finally come to realize how bleak his situation had become, what he had been trying to protect her from since the summer.
She leaned her forehead against his. "We need a plan."
"A what?"
"A plan. Dumbledore's not planning on telling anyone about this, is he? No one from the Order will know?" His silence was the only answer she needed. "Well I'm not having it! I'm not leaving you out there alone." Severus could only stare at her, dark eyes wide. Of all the things he had imagined she would say if she found out about the vow, this was never one of them. He hated to admit it but Dumbledore could be right; maybe he really did need this witch in his life.
