Chapter eight: Parties
"Finally, a real suit!" John laughed excitedly, adjusting his tie in the mirror. "I have been waiting so long for this. Oh, yes. Not the polo shirt and tie I wear at work. Not even close! This is it! Right down to the coat and brainy specs."
Rose popped her head out of the loo, continuing to brush makeup over her cheeks. "I'm glad you're happy. I'd rather put on one of your t-shirts and crawl into bed."
"It's their anniversary, Rose! Remember that rule about humans doing things for their families? Besides, free food. Free drinks. And I get to wear a suit."
He could hear her groaning. "I'm tired. An all day weekend shift at the shop. Then, I come home and you decided to wear me out even more. I totally forgot about this party thing. Mum loves to be the center of attention. Reminds me of someone else I know. And I meant it when I said no putting your tie around your head. And no bananas."
"Rose," he whined. "That's not much fun, now is it? Blimey, you're Cranky. Crank Crank Crankity Cranky. With a capital C. Bolded. Underlined. Cranky."
"Belt up, Johnny. You've got to deal with me all night."
He grinned. "Wouldn't want it any other way."
Upon arriving to the Tyler's wedding anniversary party, no one really knowing how long they had been married given the complicated nature of their relationship and multiple universes, Rose and John went to mingle with the other guests. Most of them knew Rose from before, but it was their first time meeting John. It went well at first. That is, until Rose was pulled away by Jackie to play a game with the other women. The men were left to talk about manly things, drink brandy, and smoke cigars. John coughed at the smoke, grimacing. He found a few other men who weren't smoking and decided to talk to them.
"Hello, I'm John Davies. And you are?" he extended his hand to the one in the tuxedo first.
"Wayne. Pleasure."
"Likewise. What about the rest of you?" he inquired. They rattled off their names, but he was more interested in Wayne. He looked familiar. "Have I met you before?"
"Well," Wayne grinned arrogantly. "You may have read my books. I'm a historian. I specialize in Egyptology, but I have written several papers on more modern civilizations."
"Oh, yes! I saw your photograph on a book the other day. It caught my attention because of the horrendously cheesy title. It was a pun. I don't mind puns, usually, but this one was just…anyway, I read the first few chapters of it in the shop while I was waiting on my tea."
"What did you think?" Wayne inquired carefully.
John wavered, moving his head from side to side. "Well…"
"Did you have a problem with it?" Wayne was becoming rather irate.
"Yeah, I did. Sorry. It was just…"
"Just what?"
"Ghastly. Unbelievably inaccurate. Khufu, pharaoh of Egypt and builder of the Great Pyramids, wasn't a ruthless man. He was a very pleasant fellow. Bit shy. Didn't like big statues to attest his good looks. Hence the one, small statue. Anyway, you were right about it not being slave labor to build the Great Pyramid, but it wasn't because of taxes and displacement and all that. He was one of those speakers that just captures your attention. His people loved him quite a lot, and they did it because they were, well, friends I suppose."
Wayne glared at him. "I've spent my entire forty-two years on this planet studying Egypt. What do you do for a living, Mr. Davies?"
"Oh, this and that. Computers mostly."
"And you think you know more than I do?"
"No," John thought aloud. "I'm sure that I do. I was there. Khufu is a great host. Really. We had so many laughs. He knows how to tell a joke, that one."
Wayne didn't know what to say. He assumed that John was just being funny. "And so do you. This is not funny and I'd appreciate it if you didn't insult my work."
"Insult? No, no, no. I wasn't trying to insult. I was just stating facts. You're wrong and I'm right. After all, I've met Khufu in person. Spent holiday there. Wonderful year, 2574BC. The weather is lovely."
The other men led Wayne away from him quickly, muttering in angry voices. John frowned. So much for trying to tell Wayne about the truth in Egypt. It was only a few moments later when a very irked Pete marched up to him.
"What exactly did you say to Wayne?"
"Well," John began. "I just told him about the real Khufu. The one only I'd know."
"You told him you were there, didn't you?"
John thought about it. "Yeah. Maybe I shouldn't have done that. Just sort of…slipped off the tongue…Khufu was a friend and I hated to hear him talked about like that…"
"John, you can't do that on this planet. People don't get that stuff. If you tell them that you met… I dunno…an Egyptian pharaoh, they'll think you're a nutter. Wayne has just gotten his wife and his kid and left. He warned me about you. Said, That tall man with the spiky hair is insane. I failed to mention that the tall man with spiky hair could one day be my son-in-law. Do us a favor and go upstairs, yeah? Maybe say hello to Tony. He won't stop talking about you."
"Very well, Pete. Allons-y."
"And he won't stop saying that either. Thanks for that."
"You're welcome!" John beamed, climbing the stairs to find where the children were playing.
Meanwhile, Rose was in the middle of a silly game for women. They were divided into unmarried and married teams. "Now, everyone, add up the numbers! Once you get a total of answers you got right, the top three from each team has to pick a fortune from the bag. That'll say who'll be next to get married or have a child!" Jackie explained, giggling happily. Rose rolled her eyes and looked towards the other room. "He's fine," Jackie whispered to her. "I'm sure everything's all right."
They heard a loud noise from upstairs that sounded like something fell over. In fact, it was John who was tackled by a mob of school age children. Rose sensed that it was him, but Jackie kept the game going. She was one of the top three and quickly picked a fortune, hoping that would allow her to leave the awful games. It didn't. She picked the only one that was on purple paper, signifying that she was next to get married. The room exploded in cheers and she was surrounded, unable to check on her human Time Lord. It now sounded like things were falling all over the place upstairs, almost as if it was raining.
It was raining crayons. Tony started the charge and everyone followed, pelting John with the various shades. He held his hands up in surrender. "Don't! Stop! Knock it off! I'm not your target!"
Shakily, John got to his feet and retreated to the corner, pushing things off shelves and walls to get there. He held up a framed photograph and used it as a shield. They kept throwing things at him, laughing hysterically. How did he get himself into these situations? With a final push, John ran from the room and the children chased him. He was screaming, they were screaming, and the running from room to room continued. The guests looked up at the second floor.
"What is going on up there?" a guest asked Pete.
Pete rubbed his temples. "My guess? Tall man with spiky hair."
Rose made the decision to sneak out while Jackie was busy with the other guests. She darted towards the stairs, but Pete stopped her. "Rose, that boyfriend of yours really knows how to start trouble."
"Sorry, Dad. It's part of why I love him."
It suddenly became quiet. The shouting stopped and so did the running about. She cautiously went up the stairs towards Tony's room. Gently, she opened the door and found all eleven school children drawing on Tony's wall in crayon. At the center of the masterpiece was John, holding Tony on his shoulders. He was drawing on the wall with the kids.
"John?" Rose inquired. He turned to face her with a goofy grin and a laughing Tony. "Are you drawing on the walls?"
"Well, it was part of the truce. See, Tony launched an attack on me when I came to say hello. The other children followed and I was tackled. I managed to escape, but only in time to have crayons and toys flung at my head. I ran from the room and they followed me. I asked what they wanted in return for peace, and they said that they wanted to draw on the walls. So, to stop the madness, we're drawing! Looks like it's going to be a picture of a sunny, spring day. What do you say, kids?"
They spoke all at once. "They shouldn't be doing that," Rose said, silencing them all. "Drawing on the walls. That's gonna be hard to get out."
Pete and Jackie appeared behind her. "What do they think they're doing?" Jackie exclaimed.
"John," Pete growled. "I sent you up here to avoid making a mess."
"John is fantastic!" Tony smiled. "He's my favorite because he plays."
Their eyes grew wide. "That's the most that boy has ever said at one time," Jackie sniffed, near tears. "I didn't know he could talk like that."
"Oh yes," John nodded. "He just doesn't like to talk when there's nothing important to say. Or when nobody is clever enough for him. He's a brilliant one."
Jackie picked Tony up and walked out with Pete, once Pete gave into the fact that children were wrecking his house. Rose reached out for John. "C'mon, you. Let's sneak out of here."
The kids said goodbye and the couple walked out into the cool, night air. "What did you do tonight?" Rose asked as she hugged his arm.
"I accidentally mentioned meeting a pharaoh. Khufu. You would have loved him! He's gotten a bad reputation for some reason. It's a shame, honestly. And I said all of this to that writer. Wayne somebody. I might have insulted his work, scared him with my supposed insanity, and made him and his family run from the party. Pete sent me upstairs at that point. What about you? How was ladies night?"
She blushed and pulled the slip from her pocket. "I picked this fortune out of a bag. Says I'll be the next to get married."
"Does it now?" he smirked, wagging his eyebrows. "Was it a prophecy?"
"Nope. Just a regular, old fortune. No deep demon voices or gypsies dancing around a fire."
"You will be the next to get married!" John declared in a deep, demon-like voice. "Oooh, Rose Tyler! I foresee all!"
She laughed and whacked his arm. "Knock it off."
"Would you rather see me as a gypsy? I'll start a fire and put on those jingling scarves. Dance around. Maybe take a few belly dancing classes to be ready."
"That I'd pay to see."
"Bet you five quid I'd be a better belly dancer than you."
"Make it ten."
