Considering we were broke up for the holidays, and we actually had a hot day with little wind on the reservation, Grams actually let me go to the beach! I hadn't been in years, not since it became worse, and boy, was I looking forward to this little outing, even though it wouldn't be probably over an hour there. Grams was nothing if not cautious and thorough.
Hot sand came between my bare feet, and I couldn't contain my small smile. I walked slowly, relishing in the feel of the gritty powder beneath my feet, my sandals left beside Grams as she sat a little bit further up the beach, content to watch me closely and carefully to ensure I had some freedom but that I wasn't in any danger.
There was a group of people a little further up the beach, a few of them kicking a ball about. I turned my eyes away from them and to the swirling, frothing waves ahead of me that I couldn't step into, only smell. I inhaled slowly, the clean salt air making me feel alive even more.
My phone chimed in my left hand where I was holding it, and I opened the message with a slowly appearing smile.
That you down the beach, or am I imagining things?
Jacob. I couldn't even count the amount of messages that'd been exchanged since Saturday, and it was only Wednesday. I grinned as I typed out a reply. Must totally be imagining things as I can't see you anywhere on this beach right now, I replied. I glanced around me, only to then spot someone breaking away from that group further up the beach, that small cluster of people I had noticed not a few minutes ago.
He reached me in less than three minutes, and I smiled widely as he approached. "Hey," I greeted and he grinned. "Hey back. I thought you couldn't come to the beach."
I beamed cheerfully. "Well, considering its like a mega hot day with little wind, and Grams is here with me, keeping an eye on me," I gestured to where the older woman sat, and she gave a short wave back before going back to talking on her phone. Dad, I think, as he said he'd ring today to check up on how I was doing.
Jacob made an ahing noise at the back of his throat. "Got ya. We still on for Saturday?" He asked and I nodded with wide eyes. "Uh, yeah. Did you really think I'd pass up the opportunity to mess with some car?" I exclaimed and he laughed, showing a smile of perfect white teeth. "No, I didn't think you would. So, how'd the check-up go then? You said you were a bit iffy, the word I think you used, about it."
He sat down about seven metres from the lapping water, and patted the ground beside him. I took the seat next to him before sighing. "Not good, I guess." I whispered softly, the wind carrying those words away, but I knew he'd heard. "I have just over a month before the cancer becomes irreversible, and I'm now in need of a kidney transplant, amongst other things. Dad is stressed out, Grams wouldn't stop crying as now its starting to hit home, I think. Treatment is way too expensive and I've refused it anyways."
That seemed to catch his attention. "Refused it?"
I nodded. "Yeah. What is actually the point? At the way my heart, kidney and lungs are deteriorating, I'll be long gone before the cancer ever did it." I explained, and he gave a violent tremor before it was gone, leaving me to wonder if I'd imagined it. He gave me a look that I could only describe as desperation. "But what if by some miracle you could be healed? You know, have the transplants and the only thing standing in your way to full health was the cancer? Would you take it then?"
That made me think for a moment. I was silent for a few minutes before I spoke. "You know, five months ago, I would have said no, but now? Uh, I don't now. They've looked everywhere for a kidney and haven't found one that meets my requirements. They don't just grow on trees you know. They say my heart will start to fail in about seven months, and after that, game over." I murmured and he swallowed. "So if the chance came, you'd take it?"
I looked at him, before giving a short nod. "Yeah, I think I would. Why do you ask?"
He gave me a small smile in return, "Just curious, that's all." His hand covered my linked ones that were resting limply in my lap. He grasped my hand, running his warm fingers over the inked leaved that covered my throbbing pulse. I smiled slightly. He then grinned, looking at my uncovered shoulders too. "See, knew you had ink on your shoulders." He teased.
I smiled widely, my respirator crinkling under my nose. "I have it in many places." I teased back and he grinned. "Whereabouts exactly is this ink that I can't see then?"
My smile widened. "You don't get to know that, yet." I replied and he smirked slightly, giving a quick chuckle and a shake of his head before he looked back towards the rolling waves. "So I'm here with Grams, but who exactly are you here with?" I asked after a moment of easy silence, and he grinned at that, glancing back up the beach towards the group of people he'd come from.
"Remember the pack of buddies I told you had the same tattoo as me? I'm with them, and some of their other half's." He explained and I nodded, taking a soft yet as deep of a breath as I could. "I've only ever had Carrie." I admitted, staring out at the ginormous ocean ahead of us. I smiled slightly. "Met her when we were four. I was screaming," I revealed softly. "Nurses were trying to get an IV into me and I wouldn't let them. Dad, he always refused to hold me down. Didn't want me to become afraid of him, become angry or distant with him. I was begging for them to leave me alone, and then this little kid came from nowhere, giving me a hug and telling me everything would be alright," I whispered.
He glanced at me and smiled slightly. "That was Carrie?"
I nodded. "Yeah. She was in the hospital, and had been since she was barely two. Rare form of leukaemia. She received treatment and has been in remission since she was just under six. She's never abandoned me and when I'm undergoing yet another procedure, she's always the first one there apart from Grams, and Dad if he's in town." I finished.
Jacob was silent for a moment before he nodded. "So Saturday then? For definite?"
I nodded with a small smile. "Yeah, I'm actually looking forward to it." I replied and he nodded with his own grin. "Good, I am too."
