8

Ianto didn't know what to expect at the Spa and when Tosh said "God, she needs everything" Ianto felt embarrassed.

Then the beautician made a noise in her throat and crossed herself, clasping her hands together and looking to the heavens for divine guidance.

Ianto knew she was not going to like this, not one little bit.

Ianto laid back and looked to Tosh who was making a small noise in her throat as the woman slapped warm gooey stuff on her legs.

"Be brave" Tosh whispered and Ianto opened her mouth to ask why and wound up screaming as the first strip of waxing was ripped off.

Ianto was in shock.

She must have been because she could only lay there as another assault occurred. She couldn't believe that Tosh was just standing there while she was attacked by this mad woman.

Then came the ultimate insult.

Ianto barely had time to register the slapping around her pubic hair and she reached out to stop the woman but then came the loss of all words or sound as Ianto shrieked silently.

Then came the blessed relief as the woman placed cool towels over the area and went go get something.

"What. The. Fuck!" Ianto panted as Tosh giggled.

"What's so fucking funny ya sadistic bitch" Ianto demanded, starting to giggle too.

"She hasn't done under your arms yet."

"Oh god please no" Ianto whined as the woman re-entered and to Ianto's horror she was with another, large woman.

The large woman smiled politely and leaned over Ianto, gripping her shoulders as the other one lifted her arms and made that noise of horror again.

Ianto closed her eyes and prayed for it to be over quick.

The mud pack was a nice surprise.

After all the mud Ianto had suffered in the name of Torchwood it was quite amusing having someone actually lather it on you.

It did smell nice though.

Ianto wondered idly what it had cost when she had been getting it free.

Then came a wonderful bath where she was immersed in a bubble bath and she got to choose a fragrance.

Tosh came to the rescue and Ianto didn't question, just did as she was told.

They ate sushi as they had their feet fussed over and Ianto couldn't help but giggle at the bright pink nail polish on her toes when they were done.

They then watched a movie while their hands were done and their hair was washed cut and fluffed with as well.

Ianto never knew how much work went into a woman's appearance and Tosh assured her that she could easily keep it up at home.

"I hope not" Ianto snorted, "Jack can spring for this every month or so until we sort this out, the bastard!"

Tosh laughed and snagged her glass of wine as Ianto hummed at the tray of fresh fruits.

"I thought you hated healthy food."

"No, I like fruit" Ianto looked surprised, "Just … well. Takeaways were always easier and …."

"And what, Ianto?"

"A chance to leave the hub. Escape and have a few minutes to myself while walking to the chippie, or hide in the Tourist Centre while I waited for the deliveries" Ianto said softly.

"Who were you hiding from, Jack?" Tosh frowned.

"Gwen, Owen …. The whole .. Lisa thing and … well…" Ianto sighed. "You don't know what I do. Sometimes I need isolation."

"Tell me" Tosh whispered.

"I have to create crime scenes, the only way for a victim of a weevil attack or rift dump to look like a normal crime victim is to smash their faces in with a hammer or set fire to them or just hack their limbs off or …"

"Oh Ianto, I never thought." Tosh gasped, "I thought you fed them to the furnace."

"Some, ones too badly damaged to fake. Then I need a cadaver from the morgue and I do terrible things to make it appear to be the victim" Ianto grimaced, "I can't sleep sometimes. I see them."

"Oh Ianto" Tosh reached for her and the door swung open as a trolley was pushed in.

Now came the moisturizing and final slathering of loveliness.

The young man who massaged it all in was amazingly handsome and smelt like candy floss.

It was infuriating.

God, he missed Jack.