Disclaimer: How to Train Your Dragon belongs to Dreamworks, not me.
friendship headcanon: The Berk kids have a history of making up some...interesting games.
"I'm so bored," Tuffnut whined.
Ruffnut elbowed him in the ribs. "You've said that a million times, either say something different or shut up," she said.
Tuffnut rolled his eyes. "I'm incredibly overwhelmed with ennui, is that any better?" he said.
Astrid balled up a discarded page from Hiccup's journal and tossed it at him. "Can you even spell 'ennui'?" she asked dryly.
"Sure I can, it's...it's o...n...n...n?"
"E-n-n-u-i," Fishlegs corrected. "Maybe we can help Hiccup with the new pages for the dragon book?"
"No," Hiccup said absently, still sketching. "No, I do not need any help. Last time you guys 'helped,' my sketches of electricsquirms all mysteriously turned into penises."
Snotlout guffawed. "You're welcome," he said.
"No, but seriously," Tuffnut said, sprawling out across the table. "It's raining too hard to fly. Or train. Or do anything but sit in the great hall and wait for dinner. I'm so bored."
Astrid glanced around the quiet hall. A couple of other Vikings were sitting along the outskirts, but for the most part, they were the only ones there. "Or," she said slowly. "We could play True Hooligan."
"Yes!" Snotlout screeched, standing up so fast he nearly knocked the table over. Hiccup grabbed for his pencils before they rolled to the floor. "Yes, oh my gods! I claim building the castle!"
"We've got the zones!" Tuffnut said, dragging Ruffnut off the bench.
"Oh, come on, guys," Fishlegs said. "We've got to be careful. Remember what happened last time? With the spear, and the Terrible Terror, and the blanket?"
"We'll just make sure there's no spears or blankets around! Come on and help!"
"Fineā¦"
Astrid got up, tossing her braid over her shoulder, and glanced down at Hiccup, who was still staring at his book. "Aren't you coming?" she said.
"Hmmph," Hiccup said.
Astrid shook her head. He'd been sketching and scribbling for the past hour and a half completely caught up in his diagram of sharkworms. His left hand had dragged over his pages so much that not only was the side of his palm black, but he'd smeared charcoal over his cheek too. "You've been working really hard," she said. "You can take a break for a while."
"Mmph," Hiccup said.
Astrid slid her arms around his chest from behind him, tucking her chin on his shoulder. "Hiccup," she said. "Come on. Come play with us."
"Yeah, in a second," he said.
She nuzzled his neck. "Hiccup, c'mon," she singsonged.
He batted at her lightly. "Just a second," he said. "And stop it, you know I'm ticklish."
"Oh, I know," she said. She kissed his neck. "I'm not leaving you alone until you come and play with us."
"Just a second," he whined.
Astrid hugged him tighter and tickled his sides. "Come play!" she shrieked, and he dropped his pencils with a yelp.
"Fine! Fine! I'll come play!" he said, squirming away from her fingers and failing miserably. "Just stop tickling me!"
She blew a raspberry on his neck. "Ha," she said, hugging him. "I won."
"Yeah, yeah, you usually do," Hiccup grinned, climbing off the bench and shimmying around in her grip so he was facing her, his arms around her waist. "But you've made a horrible mistake. You know I'm going to win."
"Oh, is that a challenge, Haddock?" she said, arching an eyebrow.
"You know it, Hofferson."
Snotlout popped up from behind the barrels of mead and the stacks of mugs across the hall. "Are you two done being all cutesy?" he said. "We have serious Hooligan business to attend to!"
"The zones are ready and the floor is lava," Ruffnut called, climbing up on a chair.
Astrid held out her hand to Hiccup. "May the best Hooligan win," she said.
"Thanks, I will," he smirked. He shook her hand and she bent a finger back just enough to hurt. "Ow!"
"All right, everyone, on your chairs," Snotlout ordered. "Fishlegs, hand everyone their first cups."
Astrid jumped onto a table and grabbed her mug. Hiccup climbed onto the bench across from her, still smirking. "Everyone ready?" he called.
They all nodded and braced themselves for the start of the game. "Grimhead, Chucklehead, the strong will belong!" they screamed. "One, two, three, four! Pillage, plunder, Viking lore!"
Astrid held up three fingers to her forehead and looked around wildly. "Ruffnut!" she screamed, who was holding two. "We're partners!"
Ruffnut roared back at her in approval. "Everybody drink!" Snotlout shouted.
Hiccup chugged his mead and swiped at his mouth with his sleeve. "Grimbeard the Ghastly hid his treasure, the tribe's heir found it to his displeasure!" he bellowed.
"Oh, crap, I forgot he knows how to rhyme," Tuffnut said.
"Hiccup gets points, everybody move!" Astrid ordered. "No! Not the floor, Fishlegs, the floor islava!"
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
Astrid climbed over the table and crossed the bench, hesitating for a moment. "Sorry, Spitelout," she apologized. The big man only grunted as she clambered over his shoulders.
"Okay, everyone stop!" Tuffnut said. "Give a fact!"
Everyone shouted out something; Astrid hollered out her favorite. "The chief of the Bog Burglars kills small animals with her boobs!"
"No, Ruffnut and Snotlout said the same fact, everybody take a drink!" Fishlegs said. Astrid reached for the nearest mug. It wasn't a good sign that they were only five minutes into the game and already on the second drink. Or maybe it was a good sign. The best sign.
And it also meant that when Stoick and Gobber came stomping into the hall two hours later, they found all of the furniture in the hall turned around and scattered in clumps, a pile of empty tankards filled a discarded tub, and everyone was screaming. Ruffnut, Snotlout, and Fishlegs were all trying to stand on the same chair, Astrid was sitting crosslegged on top of a bench stacked on top of a table, and Tuffnut was standing on a wobbly stool with Hiccup on his back.
"What's going on here?" Stoick asked in disbelief.
They were all shouting too loudly for anyone to acknowledge him. "No, Dogsbreath the Duhbrain lost to Mogadon the Meathead!" Fishlegs roared.
"No, it was Norbert the Nutjob!" Ruffnut screamed back.
Gobber blinked. "I think it's a game," he said.
"It's a stalemate, it's a stalemate!" Astrid bellowed. "Everybody drink!"
Stoick looked around at them as they all took deep swigs from their tankards. "Hiccup, are you drunk?" he said.
Hiccup pointed at him. "Dad, I am so drunk," he said, clinging to Tuffnut's hair. "But I'm winning!"
Stoick laughed. "Carry on, then!" he said, sitting down to watch.
The game ended when Hiccup staggered to the wine barrel before the others and took the first drink from it, but Astrid had captured (read: drunk) all the pawns, so it was counted as a tie. By then they were all so thoroughly drunk none of them were able to make it through dinner and had to stagger back home in the rain to sleep off their hangovers.
But the game was enough of a success that the next time it stormed, Stoick suggested they play True Hooligan again, and this time he and Gobber were the referees.
Author's Notes:
All right, so have you seen New Girl? The Zooey Deschanel TV show? Well, in that show, they came up with a crazy game called True American. It's 90% drinking game with a loose Candyland like structure. Well, one of my favorite HTTYD-related tumblr people, avannak, posted a thing about "what if the Berk kids played True Hooligan?" And then it all went from there. She came up with a lot of the phrasing and rules for the game; I just got her permission to post this and then wrote a bunch of goofy nonsense.
A lot of the trivia in the game was pulled from the books. I've been listening to the audiobooks in the car on the way to and from work (I work in Disney World, hurray!) and oh my god, I'm in love. David Tennant reads them and it's glorious. I'm also pretty sure (actually 100% sure) that Camicazi is going to show up in this drabble series. And it's going to be adorable.
Also I hope you enjoyed more of Astrid tickling Hiccup. Presh lil tater tots.
Next chapter: childhood
