Song Inspiration: You Owe Me Nothing In Return by Alannis Morissette

Banner by: Mist

Chapter 8: There Are Good Days and Then There Are Bad Days...

Seth managed to close the office on time today. He was working as a Veterinary Assistant in Forks with hopes of one day buying out Mr. VanWright, who was considering retirement in the near future.

Seth's phone rang, taking it out he answered it as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"Hi Seth." It was his mother.

"Hi." Seth answered.

"Do you know where Bella is today? She told me she would pick up little Jake by five and it's already seven o'clock." Sue asked with a slight annoyed tone.

"Damn it." Seth grumbled.

"I'm sorry Seth but normally I wouldn't mind watching him a few extra hours but this is getting ridiculous. It's the third time this week that she is either late or a no show." Sue exhaled loudly.

"I know Mom. I will come get him." Seth droved in the direction of his mother's house instead of home.

"Charlie is out looking for her. He is really worried." Sue warned him.

"I'm sure he is." Seth chewed on his lower lip, trying to keep his anger in check.

"Okay. Well, see you in a bit." Sue hung up.

Seth looked at the misty shower on his windshield and wondered what could have possibly kept her so busy that she had forgotten her son today. The day before she realized they were out of milk and went to the grocery store where she stayed for nearly two hours and returned home with milk, bread and eggs. He didn't believe that was the only place shevisitedbut he kept his opinion to himself when he watched her play with little Jake and appeared to be all smiles for her son.

Seth quickly retrieved little Jake from his mother's care and drove them both home.

He hoped she would be there and was able to provide him with a reasonable excuse.

When they entered the house he noticed none of the lights were on and Bella's truck wasn't parked in the driveway. Calling her phone he knew it would go to voicemail, which it did.

What if she was in trouble? What if today something really bad happened to her? He just didn't know what to think anymore.

Charlie called him and informed him that Bella wasn't seen in town at all today and he was heading to the school next to see if she was dealing with something there. Seth thanked him and started preparing little Jake for a bath.

A hour later he received another call informing him that Bella wasn't at the school nor anywhere else in La Push. Seth was growing alarmed. Where could she be? Was she in danger? Did whoever kill Jake go after her now? Did she do something to purposely harm herself? So many possibilities flew through his head.

"Damn it." Seth called Leah who agreed to come over and help watch little Jake while he ran patrol. Seth also called uponthe guys to search the woods and surrounding area for any signs of her.

Leah walked in the house when he got a call from Quil who gave him the news.

"She is at the cemetery." Quil stated sadly.

"Are you sure?" Seth gulped hard.

"Yeah, I smelled her right away as I approached it. She is at his grave." Quil's voice trembled.

"Okay. Thanks. I got it from here." Seth hung up the phone. Phasing in wolf form he raced to the cemetery. He just needed to see with his own two eyes that she was physically okay.

The rain had been a on and off occurrence today so the ground was soaked. When he found her laying on top of Jake's grave,her clothes were wet and covered with mud along with her long hair.

"Bella. Honey you need to come home." Seth knelt down on the ground, trying to lift her up but she struggled against him.

"NO. I don't want to go back there. I want to be here with him." Bella argued in a hoarse voice.

"You have to go home Bella. You are going to be so sick from laying out here." Seth insisted, taking her hands and yanking her up off the ground.

"Leave me alone! I don't want your help and I sure as hell don't want your pity." Bella's eyes glared furiously.

"Really? You don't want my pity? Then stop acting so pitiful." Seth couldn't stop his anger from exploding. Bella's lack of concern for other people in her life made him wasn't like her to be this damn selfish. He realized that Charlie and the others were right. Bella was only getting worse, not better.

"What?" Bella wiped away a loose lock of wet hair from her pale face.

"You! You don't want my help but you don't want to help yourself either. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of watching you slowly destroy yourself and everything that Jake loved about you."

"It's my choice." Bella snapped.

"No it isn't. You have a son damn it. A son who has already lost one parent. Jake didn't choose to leave you or his son but you're choosing to abandon JJ." Seth growled as he stood up and took a step back from her.

Bella stood up and looked at him with intense anger.

"I love my son." Bella shouted .

"Do you? Cause you don't act like a mother who loves her son. Where is he Bella? Huh? You forgot to pick him up again today!" Seth snarled.

"I..it was...I thought you were." Bella shook her head trying to remember what day of the week it was.

"No I got off at 7 o'clock Bella. It's already after nine. Your father has been combing the streets and dirt roads between here and Forks looking for you."

"I'm sorry." Bella whimpered.

"Sorry? I'm so sick of hearing you use that word Bella. Stop being so damn sorry and do something about yourself. He's gone. It hurts like hell but you can't keep drinking yourself into a stupor just so that you can pretend that none of this happened. It did happen. Face it. Move on." Seth's demanded.

"I'm trying!" Bella shouted loud enough for the whole world to hear.

"NO you aren't! You are just trying enough to get from one hour to the next. Did you drink today Bella?" Seth thought he smelt a hint of alcohol on her breath when he arrived.

"I...a little." Bella's face flushed pink with embarrassment.

"You are driving and drinking now? How reckless and stupid is that?"

"I know." Bella cried out.

"Then stop it. If you don't Bella, then Charlie is going to lock you up in some rehab until you get well enough to be near your son again." Seth was only partially lying to her. He knew that Charlie was considering the idea if things got much worse.

"You would let him do that to me?" Bella gasped.

"I wouldn't have a choice Bella. You are putting yourself in harmsway. I want to keep you safe. You are my friend. I care about you. If the shoe was on the other foot, wouldn't you do the same for me?" Seth pointed out that he wasn't doing this to be cruel but because he cared.

"I...yes. Yes, I would." Bella blinked as warm tears made a trail down her dirty face.

"Then let me help you stop drinking and start living again. We all miss Jake Bella. We all know how much you loved him and he loved you. We understand the need to grieve for him but we can't put up with you hurting yourself any longer." Seth filled the space between them, putting his arms around her and pulling her up against him. He could feel her breathe on his chest. She was freezing and he knew the warmth of his body would help with that.

"I drink Seth because I can dream about him. I needed more time with him. He was ripped out of my life before I was ready to let him go." Bella sobbed.

"I know." Seth rubbed her back softly.

"In my dreams we are so happy and he talks to me and holds me." Bella continued to confess her desperate need to drink.

Seth looked down at her. He began to remember the night she had mistook him for Jake and the kiss he received from her. Luckily for him she didn't remember it at all.

"Bella, I understand what it is like to dream about someone that you really loved but when you wake up, you have to accept the fact that it was only a dream. Jake will always be here." Seth pointed to her chest.

Bella looked up at him, smiling softly she understood that he was trying to make her see; that the path she was on wasn't healthy for her or her son.

"I know. I will get better Seth. I don't need rehab. I can stop drinking. Trust me." Bella pleaded.

"I will give you a chance Bella but if I don't see any improvements then you force me to step back and let everyone else take over. I don't think you want that, do you?" Seth smiled sadly at her.

"No. Lord no." Bella shook her head adamantly.

"Good. Now let's get you home and cleaned up. I just hope you haven't made yourself sick from this." Seth scoop her up in his arms and walked them to where her vehicle was parked.

"I can walk." Bella chuckled.

"I know but sometimes it's okay to let someone help you." Seth replied.

"Thank you Seth."

Seth put her down on her own two feet in front of her truck. He started to turn and walk away but she threw her arms around him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before she jumped into her truck.

Seth touch the spot where her cool lips had touched his face. Watching her drive away he wondered how long he would be able to keep his private thoughts at bay from the pack? If anyone suspected that his crush on Bella returned, it might upset the balance of things. He knew they all saw Bella as Jake's girl. Jake was gone now. Bella was alive. She was a woman with needs and would eventually want to share her life and her body with someone. Why couldn't he be that someone? Okay, so there was a four year age difference but he was still an adult.

Phasing he pushed the thoughts of Bella completely out of his mind and instead focused on trying to protect those he loved from the danger that lurk in the forests. .

XXX

Bella woke up early the following morning. After changing into some clean clothes she made her way to the kitchen and started cooking a big breakfast for Seth and the rest of the pack. She wanted to make amends for her awful behavior. She knew they were all walking on eggshells around her these past few months. She wanted to show them her appreciation for helping out with little Jake when she wasn't there for him.

"Man, am I dreaming?" Seth rubbed his head as he stepped into the kitchen wearing only a pair of black and green plaid pajama bottoms.

Bella gulped hard when she spied how well chiseled his chest appeared. She hadseen Seth without a shirt over a dozen times before but today he seemed much older, more manly than she remembered.

"I hope not. I made plenty of food for you and the guys." Bella chuckled, turning her attention back to the flap jackswhile shaking off the odd sensations that his bare chest had created.

"All of us?" Seth cried out happily as he took inventory of all the different food she cooked. There was three kinds of muffins, bacon, sausage, gravy, biscuits and he saw a stack of flapjacks she was working on as well.

"Call them up. I would but I don't think they would come by." Bella frowned.

"What? Come on Bella they love your cooking." Seth laughed merrily before walking to the house phone and dialing a few numbers. Ten minutes later the pack members begun to show up at her house, just like old times.

"I would kill for these muffins." Jared sighed and rubbed his stomach.

"Haha. Well, I think I might explode from the flapjacks." Quil wiped the syrup from his mouth. He consumed twelve of them within the first twenty minutes of his arrival.

"All I ask is that you help clean up before you take off on me." Bella winked at Seth playfully. They both knew how much the guys enjoyed food but loathed doing dishes.

"Ahh man! I knew there was a catch." Embry joked.

"Look at little Jake. He is stuffing himself with muffins." Jared watched proudly as their future Alpha tried to fill himself up with his mother's homemade strawberry muffins.

"Can you blame him?" Seth smiled proudly as well at little Jake.

"What are the plans for tonight?" Quil asked everyone around the table.

"Plans?" Bella looked curiously at them.

"It's Halloween Bella. You know how we love our tricks and treats." Embry laughed wickedly while giving Quil a high five across her table.

"When will you boys grow up?" Bella laughed softly.

"Never, if we can help it." Embry replied and received cheers from the other guys.

"I'm taking Claire into Forks to the Halloween festival." Quil informed them.

"Seriously? How late will you be there?" Embry looked deeply disappointed.

"Not too long." Quil smacked him on the back.

"Good, cause I need someone to hold my egg cartons while I smash some houses." Jared teased.

"I thought you and Kim were going to Port Angeles to that haunted house." Seth recalled Kim and Emily talking about going together with their menfolk.

"I don't know. I mean how scary can it really be?" Jared rolled his eyes practically.

"True. What about you Bella? What are you going to do do with little Jake?" Embry asked. Suddenly all eyes were on her. She gulped hard. She had completely forgotten about the holiday. It wasn't one of her favorites to begin with. Jake enjoyed it, not so much her.

"I will be here passing out candy I suppose." Bella shrugged her shoulders.

"Passing out candy? How boring." Quil teased her.

"Little Jake is too young to even appreciate the candy he would get so why bother dressing him up and pushing him up and down the crowded streets?" Bella sighed heavily.

"I can help you with it." Seth offered.

"What? No, you should go out and have some fun. You do enough around here as it is." Bella shook her head.

"I insist. Besides, I already got him a cute outfit to match mine." Seth announced.

"Oh good lord. What did you get him?" Embry snickered.

"I'm going as a pirate and he is going to be my little parrot." He replied.

The whole room erupted with laughter.

"What's so damn funny?" Seth demanded.

Bella reached out touching his arm and pushed back her own laughter.

" A parrot? My son is going as a parrot." Bella pressed her lips together to prevent the giggles that threaten to burst.

"Yes. What's the big damn joke?"

"Well, seeing on how he is a future Alpha and someday will phase into a big hairy wolf, a parrot seems a little weak, don't you think?"

"Look it was all they had left." Seth explained.

"It's the thought that counts." Bella glanced at the other guys and shot them a warning look to drop the subject.

"True." Quil agreed.

"Alright, now that you guys have been fed and entertained I'm going to go take my son and clean him up while you clean in here." Bella picked up her son and left the room.

Just before her foot landed on the first stair she heard the sounds of water and chairs moving about. She was pleased with this morning's breakfast and more pleased that she didn't once think about needing a drink or how much she missed seeing Jake's smiling face among his friends.

XXX

A/N: The song I have listed really made me think of how Seth looks at Bella. It's from his POV. Hope you enjoy it.

A/N: Okay so Seth has finally gotten thru to Bella about her drinking and how far she is letting her grief affect her position as a mother. Hopefully she will get better with time. How long do you think it will last before someone figures out that Seth has feelings for Bella? Thank you guys for the wonderful reviews. I will be on vacation this weekend so I won't be updating again until next Tuesday. Xoxo August