Jack's Secretary, Anne
Just by my description, I am sure people are shocked I am here. The only thing more shocking might be having Jack himself here. My name is Anne, and I was Jack's first secretary all those years ago. Oh, I have stories I could tell, stories that would make you just shake your head. I have known Sharon and Jack for years, and there is no one who deserves to be happy more than Sharon. I've been rooting for Sharon. I'm so happy to be here today, celebrating this day with Sharon and her family.
I was assigned to Jack when he started his law career. Yes, I call him Jack now; he was Mr. Raydor back then, but he lost a lot of my respect over the years. I was young too, just a few years older than Jack, not quite 30 at the time. I was happily married, still am, and I was very grateful to have a job at the firm. I'd gotten a two-year associate degree to work as a specialized secretary, and that landed me the job at the firm. The lawyer for whom I'd first been hired left the firm after three years to go into more of a private practice. Large firms aren't for everyone; I understand that. It was a great place for me because it offered a lot of perks and benefits sometimes smaller offices cannot offer their employees. I wasn't sure what I thought about being assigned to a brand-new lawyer. Most don't get a secretary, but our firm had one for even the new law graduates as they studied for the Bar Exam and got their career started. They were paired with a senior partner, often one getting ready to retire who could look over their work as they learned. We didn't take on a lot of new ones each year, and the philosophy of the firm was for the lawyer and secretary to build a bond as they worked together over the years. I did form a bond, just with the lawyer's wife.
The first time I met Jack, I met Sharon too. He'd just recently graduated and had been hired by the firm, and he was there showing her around the building. It wasn't yet his first day at work, but he had been so excited; they had been so excited. They were so young back then, their lives in front of them. Sharon was pregnant, and they were delighted about the baby. The two had also started looking at houses to buy. To me, they looked like the perfect family. As we know, nothing is what it seems; nothing is perfect.
The first couple years I worked for Jack, I really liked him. He was a very kind and caring man. He was funny and witty; he always had a smile on his face and liked to tell jokes. It was evident why Sharon married him; he was quite the charmer. He was the talk around the coffee pot, and the man could really wear a suit. Oh, he was a sharp looking lawyer. If one were to pick their lawyer based on appearance, Jack would be your guy. He had it all-brains, clothing, and looks. Jack was busy that first year working on studying for the Bar exam and handling a few basic cases thrown his way. I was working mostly for him, but I was also handling a part-time lawyer we had on our staff who was on his way to retirement. So, I kept plenty busy with my days. As soon as Jack passed the Bar, his workload increased. He was given more cases that required more time. He worked a lot, at least to start, and I admired that. I knew it was hard on him with a young family at home. Yes, I'd met and gotten to know Sharon some by then. Shortly after Jack took the job, Sharon had the baby. Jack hated not being home more to see Emily, but he understood the job. As the months went on, though, I started to see the change, the change I've seen with some of the other lawyers in our firm. Jack started going to more and more client dinners, drinking more, and he started even sleeping in his office. Jack started to change for the job.
Sharon tried to adapt to those changes. I know things were hard for her too. Here, she had a new baby and was trying to juggle that with her return to the force. She also had a husband gone more and more as the demands of his job required his attention. Sharon really did what she could. On her day off, she would often stop by with lunch for Jack, and I would get to see Baby Emily. I started to get to know her well then, as she'd often have to wait for Jack to return from court or finish with a client. Sharon was sweet; she is sweet, and she really tried not to get worked up when plans changed with Jack. Emily was just a doll; I can still see that sweet baby. It's hard to believe she's a grown woman now, when I still see her in that little stroller, gumming crackers. I remember Sharon would often be more frustrated about her parenting skills, telling me she wasn't sure if she was doing a good enough job. Emily was challenging for Sharon; she told me on more than one occasion. The conversation was always light, but Sharon would mention not knowing what to do about teething or things like that. At the time, I could only just listen. I didn't have kids of my own yet. My husband and I had trouble in that department, but I was always happy to lend an ear to listen. Jack was glad to see Sharon on those days off, at least at first. As he got a couple years into his job, something else in him changed too. I know some of it was the drinking. It got worse, and I would often find empty bottles in the trash much too soon. I realize it's common for a lawyers to share a drink, but it's not common to go through a bottle ever few days. I could see that. I could also see that Sharon was trying to adapt and adjust, but everything finally fell apart one day at work.
I still remember the day; it was one I won't forget, sadly. Jack had been working there over two years at this point. Sharon came by for lunch that day, as it was her day off, and I was at my desk.
"Hi Sharon," I remember smiling at her. She'd told me to call her Sharon from the first day I'd met her. We were almost the same age, and she said she was either Officer Raydor or just Sharon.
"Anne, it's nice to see you. It's been awhile. I've been a little under the weather," she smiled at me.
"Oh? I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you are feeling better," I told her.
Sharon just offered a small smile and nodded, "I haven't told many yet, but yes, it's an issue that should resolve now in about seven months."
"Oh! You're pregnant!" I said loudly and then put my hand over my mouth, embarrassed I'd been that loud. I looked to Sharon who was now nodding and biting her lip.
"Hmm, yes, seems that way. The timing isn't what I want. Things are just, just scattered, but yes," she nodded and looked to me, "Emily will be getting a brother or sister soon. We've just started to tell people."
"Well, congratulations. I'm sure he's excited," I nodded to Jack's office. I noticed Sharon almost purse her lips and look away quickly.
"Let's just say it was a surprise. He's still adjusting. We've been off a little lately. Our schedules are tight. Emily requires so much of my time, and work has been busy for him. It's a wonder I'm even pregnant," she chuckled lightly. "That's partly why I'm here. I'm hoping to catch him for lunch. It took me a week or so to get over the shock of being pregnant so soon. I want kids, yes, but I had thought about spacing them out four or five years. I think that's just what has me out of sorts. Jack and I just need time to reconnect," she nodded, and I could see she was trying to convince herself of that.
"I'm so sorry. He didn't tell me you were coming," I frowned. "He called in about 15 minutes ago and said he was stuck in court and to clear his schedule. I don't know when he will be done or back to the office."
"Oh," Sharon let out a sigh and a small shrug. "Well, that's the life of a lawyer, but I could have sworn I didn't think he was in court today. See," she shook her head, "that's what I'm talking about right there. Things are off. I told my neighbor that when we walked yesterday. I feel like I'm off. This baby already has me feeling like an alien in my own body."
"I hate you came all the way down here and missed him," I told her.
"Would you like to go to lunch? We haven't had time to catch up recently," Sharon asked. She and Jack had invited my husband and me over a couple times for dinner. It was hard with all our schedules, not to mention with Emily needing them so much, but we'd had dinner with them on a few occasions. It hadn't been recently, though, so I was excited at Sharon's offer. I had grown very fond of her over the last couple years.
"I'd love to get lunch. Let's go," I stood and started to collect my things.
Lunch was great. Sharon and I laughed a lot. I could tell it was a nice break for her and was a great stress relief. When we finished, the two of us started back to the office. I'm not sure if it was a good or bad thing she discovered that she'd left her car keys on my desk. She had planned to go right from lunch back to her car, but realized she'd put them on my desk when writing out a note for Jack. Ultimately, I know it was for the best that Sharon had to walk back to the office with me, but I hate that she had to see things fall apart.
We walked into the office, and I found Jack's door closed. It had been open when I left. It usually was when he wasn't there; that's just how I ran our corner of the office. I was usually in and out of there during the day, and I would close the outer office door, which closed off both my desk and his office, but I would keep his door open. When we got back to the office, the outer door was closed, but then, so was Jack's door.
"I guess he's back from court," I told Sharon. She nodded.
"Maybe it was meant to be, for me to leave my keys here. I'll just pop in and tell him I was here," she told me. I nodded, and she walked to the door and knocked on it. Neither of us expected Jack to answer the door in the state he did.
"Anne, whatever it is, I'm busy," Jack said as he cracked open the door. I cringed. I still cringe at the memory of the moment. Sadly, I can still see his face, the whole scene in my head, and I'm sure Sharon can too. Jack was standing there, the door only partially open, and he had on his white undershirt, disheveled tie, pants-thank goodness they were still on-but no socks or shoes. His hair was rumbled, and he froze when he came face to face with Sharon instead of me.
"Sharon!" he said quickly and started to close the door, almost to shut out the proof of what was going on behind it. I gripped the chair in front of my desk. Sharon wasn't the only one seeing this for the first time. I'd never caught Jack doing this at work. I don't know how many there had been before this instance, but it was the first time I'd seen him there with a woman.
"Jack," she said, her voice catching in her throat. I watched her ball up her fists, and for a moment, I thought she was going to punch him. She didn't. Instead, she spun around and started to walk away.
"Sharon, it's not what it looks like," he said as he attempted to open the door and step toward her. He was trying to tuck in his undershirt, as if that would explain or the lack of dress shirt. Unfortunately, that only exposed the younger woman who was in his office, seated at his desk chair, and apparently only in her skirt and bra. Sharon just held up her hand and shook her head as she walked to the door. I looked to Jack. I didn't say anything. I didn't do anything but look at him. He froze, and I think that's when he realized he wasn't dressed to chase after his wife and had left his infidelity sitting there in his office, exposing her for anyone to see. Jack took a step back toward his door, and I met his gaze. I just shook my head and looked to where Sharon had now opened the door. I quietly spoke.
"Mr. Raydor, I'll go after her," I said and moved quickly. I didn't hear him respond, but there wasn't much to say. I didn't have to go far to find Sharon. As I walked out of the office, I caught sight of the ladies' bathroom door closing, and I followed Sharon in and found her at the sink. She had her hands braced on it, her head bowed, and she was shaking it.
I know she heard me because she then just said, "How long?"
"I don't know. Please know, Sharon, that this is the first I've seen it too. I'm so sorry. I had no idea," I sighed.
Sharon shook her head again, "I've suspected. The baby-that's all part of why this timing is so off," she told me, and I could hear her trying to hold back her tears in her choked-up voice. "I suspected, but I couldn't prove it. I didn't want it to be true."
"I hope you believe me when I say I didn't know. I wouldn't just let him do that to you," I told her again, stepping closer to her. I put my hand on her back, and I could fee her shudder under it.
"I can't believe this is happening. That was the proof I didn't have before now. I don't know what I'm going to do," she sighed. She took a deep breath and then stood straight again and looked into the mirror. I remember that moment. The two of us stood there, looking into the mirror. We were both young women with lives ahead of us, but she'd just had her world come crashing down on her.
"I'm having a baby," she said, a single tear sliding down her face. "My husband is sleeping around on me. I'm such the cliché."
I didn't know what to say. Was there anything to be said? I couldn't offer any sort of 'it will be okay' type of comment because I didn't if it would. Instead, I tried to offer what I could.
"Look, Sharon. I will do anything you need. I'm so sorry. I hope you know I won't say a word of this to anyone in the firm. I know this is a mess," I told her.
She just nodded her head. She looked to the floor and took a deep breath. When she looked up, she turned to me. I could see the hurt and the sadness in her eyes.
"I need to get going. I have a doctor's appointment," she rolled her eyes. "I'm at 10 weeks already. I think I will explain my blood pressure might be off today. I don't blame you in any of this. Thank you for keeping this between us," she said. Sharon wiped her hand on her face once, turned, and she walked out of the bathroom.
That was the last we spoke of that incident. I didn't ask; she didn't offer.
When I got back to my desk, I found Jack had put himself back together and sent his friend on her way. I never did know who she was or where he'd found her. I really didn't want to know. I walked back into the office and found Jack at his desk, working away, almost as if nothing had happened. Right there, I knew he was a terrible husband. All the ideas I had that he was a true family man-gone. Anyone who could cheat on his wife and then five minutes later, look like business as usual, that just told me he was a slime. He was a snake who had covered his tracks for a long time, so long that Sharon's comment of, "I've suspected," kept replaying in my mind. When I walked into the office, Jack looked up from his paperwork, as if what he had just done was a perfectly normal occurrence.
"Everything okay?" he asked, as if I'd just made a trip to the deli for lunch.
"I'll get back to work, Mr. Raydor," I said and went back to my desk.
That was it. Oh, I wanted to get up and walk out. I wanted to tell him he was a disgusting man for cheating on his lovely wife and family. I wanted to ask him why he felt that desire when he had a daughter and baby on the way. I didn't ask him anything. I walked to my desk, sat down, and I tried to look busy. I didn't do a single bit of work the rest of that day. I was too shaken. All I could do was sit there and think about poor Sharon. No matter what, no one deserves to see that. No matter how much trouble a marriage is having, that isn't fair to anyone. The fact that he just dismissed it as almost 'another day at the office' bit really made me sick to my stomach.
I didn't sleep that night. My husband got an earful, and I lost all respect for Jack Raydor that day.
I continued to go to work. It was my job, and it was a good job. I needed the job. My husband and I had started the process to adopt, and we needed the money. I never actually saw another woman in the office, but I knew Jack had more women there. I could tell he entertained them late at night, well after office hours. Sharon and I never discussed the matter; I didn't know where things stood with Jack and Sharon. I knew he slept at the office on occasion, and I never wanted to ask if he was alone or with another woman on those nights. I didn't see Sharon around the office for months after that. It was awkward, and I didn't know what to say or ask. I thought about her every single day I laid eyes on Jack. I wondered what was going on with her, with them, but I didn't ask. I wanted to ask about the baby. Jack didn't say anything. If Sharon hadn't told me, I wouldn't have known she was even pregnant.
One afternoon, months later, Sharon stopped by. It was the first I'd seen her since that day. It was both surprising and yet not surprising to see her so very pregnant. I looked up when she walked, or rather, waddled into the office, the surprise evident on my face.
"Sharon, oh, I'm glad to see you," I gave her a soft smile. She returned it, her hand running over the side of her stomach.
"Anne, it's been a long time," she said. That hung in the air, as I'm sure we both thought back to the last time we'd seen each other. "I'm only here right now because I came from a doctor's appointment. I'm in the early stages of labor. My doctor's office isn't far from here, and I need to tell Jack. My doctor said he thinks I have several hours, but I need to go to the hospital. Emily is at daycare, and my neighbor is going to get her. I'm fine going to the hospital on my own, but I was going to tell Jack what was going on with everything."
I jumped up, "Oh, you're in labor! Let me go get him. He'd down the hall, conference room, in a meeting," I said as I moved quickly around the desk. I threw my arms around her, which I know was a surprise, but she returned the hug. I think we both needed that; it was probably months too late, but that meant a lot to both of us. I know it did. I felt her relax, almost as if she and I both knew we'd handled something together.
"At this point, I'm just letting Jack know. I can have this baby on my own. I simply am informing Jack his child is about to be born," she said in a very matter of fact tone. I could feel the tension. I stepped back and nodded.
"I'll go get him. Sit, please," I gestured to the chair.
Thankfully, Jack played the dutiful father and took his wife to the hospital. He played the part well, a few days later, as he brought around pictures of his son, boasting all about him. It was almost disgusting, not the pictures of Ricky, but the proud papa role he tried to play. I could only imagine what Sharon was feeling, what she was going through with all of it. I felt for her. I knew in that joy, she had to have so much sadness.
I didn't see much of Sharon that next year. It's funny that we grew closer later, after Jack was out of the picture, but I understood why she wasn't around the office. It was too hard. Her husband was cheating on her, and she was stuck in the middle of it. I have no idea what it was like at home. Jack never mentioned and always looked like he lived a carefree life with a loving family. Still, I know it continued. Every so often, I could detect a perfume scent from his office. I didn't ask. It wasn't my place, and he never mentioned it again.
The next time I saw Sharon, little Ricky was almost a year old. Wow, it was so strange to see that baby already at a year old and starting to walk. Sharon showed up at the office after I'd been instructed to call her. She came in, Ricky in the stroller, and she gave me a sad smile.
"Anne, thank you for calling me," she nodded.
I stood, "Sharon, I'm so sorry. I can do this if you rather. As I explained on the phone, the partners met and decided to clear out his office. I can sort through the files if you want to collect any of his personal items."
She just nodded, and then she looked to Ricky, the happy baby sitting there in his stroller. "It's my day off," she shrugged. "Normally, I'd be at work, and Ricky would be at daycare. Emily is at preschool, and things would all be going like any other day. Instead, it's my day off. Ricky is with me because my neighbor is working, and I'm here to clean out my husband's office because he took off and left his job and family."
"I'm here, right beside you," I told her as I moved toward her. I gripped her hand in mine and squeezed it. I looked to Ricky and back to Sharon, a smile on my face, as I tried to lighten the mood. "Sharon, he's adorable, and he looks so much like you."
Sharon looked to Ricky, and I saw her brush a tear from her eye, "He looks like Jack," she sighed and shook her head. "Thank you, though. He's a wonderful gift. I remind myself that each day. I wouldn't have Emily or Ricky without Jack, but I can certainly raise them without him."
"That you can," I squeezed her hand again and nodded to the door. "Let's get to work."
We worked in Jack's office for almost an hour. It didn't take me long to box the files, but it took longer to sort through Jack's mess. He wasn't a neat and tidy lawyer. Sharon did most of that because his desk drawers were what were in bad shape. The files were mainly stacked in the corner of his desk. When I finished, I sat down with Ricky. It was the first time I'd held him, not that I actually held him long. He was squirmy and moved to get down and crawl around. It was the first and only time Ricky was in Jack's office. At one point, Sharon stood, as she had been sitting in the desk chair to go through his desk. She stood and had what looked like a picture in her hand.
"Do you know how many there were?" she asked quietly, holding the picture out with the tip of her finger like it was dirty. I glanced up and saw it was a headshot of a young, blonde woman.
"No," I said quietly and looked to the floor. "I never asked. I never saw another woman here. I believe he snuck them in and out after hours."
"He did," she said flatly. "I'm sure of that. I could smell the perfume even from across the room on the nights he decided to come home. I know there were several."
I just nodded, "I wasn't one of them, in case you wondered."
She met my gaze and nodded, "Thank you. I know. Seems neither of us is really his type."
In that moment, it was easier for both of us to focus on Ricky, that sweet baby as he crawled around his dad's office, not a care in the world. We watched him for a few moments, and then Sharon crumpled the photo and went back to work. I took care of changing Ricky, and when we finished in Jack's office, Sharon left with a box of personal items balanced on the stroller.
"Sharon, for what it's worth, I respect you and think you are a wonderful person. I hope we can stay in touch. I know we haven't been close, but I'd like to be," I told her.
She met my gaze again and nodded. "You're loyal, Anne. I respect that very much. Please keep in touch. I wish you the best here and am sorry it didn't work out for all of us."
I walked Sharon and Ricky to the elevator that day. I stood there after the doors closed and watched the numbers go down to the lobby. I watched Sharon leave, which is more than I can say for Jack. He took off on her, on them. It's one thing to walk away from your job; it's disgusting to walk away from your family. Jack did that. He left his family for just another good time with any number of random women.
I kept in touch with Sharon, which is evident, as I sit here today. I continued to work at the firm and over the years have worked for the same lawyer now the last nine years. He's a good family man, the real deal. As for me, my husband and I adopted a set of brothers out of foster care. That didn't happen for another five years after I said good-bye to Sharon that day, but we did. We adopted boys who were six and seven years old, making the younger one, Travis, the same age as Ricky. I didn't go back on my promise to keep in touch with Sharon. I wasn't about to be another person in her life to break a promise.
Over the years, I've kept up with Sharon. I stopped by the house about a month after she packed up his office because he'd left a few of his mugs in our conference room. I brought Emily a doll and Ricky a truck that day. It was good to see all three of them, sad too, because they were there without their dad. Sharon and I talked for almost a half hour before I left, but we made a promise to get together every few months. We did. She would invite me to the kids' birthday parties, and I did the same after my boys came to live with me. I lived about 30 minutes from Sharon, so it wasn't easy to offer help, but I watched the kids on a few occasions, mainly times her neighbor couldn't help. As she moved up the chain of command at the police station, I heard her name come up in conversation on occasion between lawyers. She was often involved in cases, especially after she moved to FID. I didn't meet Rusty or Andy until I met them together, one day not long ago. I happened to run into the three downtown at dinner. Normally, I was home for dinner and not working, but we had a case that was taking a lot of time. Anyway, I had been sent to pick up dinner for my boss, and that's when I ran into the three of them as they walked out of the Mexican restaurant.
"Anne?" I heard and turned around to the voice. I was replying to a text message from my boss as I walked. I smiled brightly when I saw it was Sharon. She smiled too.
"Sharon! Wow, it's been so long," I moved quickly to embrace her. We hugged for a moment before I stepped back and looked to the men. "You must be Rusty," I grinned. "I've heard all about you." I looked to Sharon again and saw she had stepped into Andy's side.
"Anne, this is Rusty, yes," she grinned and nodded. "This," she patted Andy's stomach, "Is Andy Flynn."
"My, so it is serious," I smiled brightly at her. I caught Andy grinning, and I turned back to Rusty when I heard him grumble.
"Serious? Yeah, way beyond that. We're one big happy family," Rusty said in a sarcastic tone and looked to Sharon. I looked back to Sharon, and I found her smiling. That smile, I hadn't seen it before, not ever.
"Andy and I have been together for awhile now," she pursed her lips, and I caught Rusty looking at her when she said that. "Andy, Rusty, this is Anne, Jack's first secretary and a good friend."
"Oh, nice to meet you," Andy said and extended his hand to me. "I've heard your name before. You've kept up with Sharon and the kids."
"I have," I nodded. "It's been hard lately, the last couple years, but I did know about you and Rusty, at least." I grinned at the three of them and looked back to Sharon. "I realize by this we haven't had lunch in a very, very long time."
Sharon let out a low chuckle, "Yes, it's been a bit busy. Thing have been changing, at home and at work."
"We need to do lunch soon, then, so I can hear all about this big, happy family," I winked at her. She smiled and nodded.
"Long overdue," she said, and I knew that her comment alluded to lunch and the being happy part too.
We finally had lunch about a month later. She caught me up on everything. Last I had heard before our lunch, she and Andy had been seeing each other, but she'd been quiet about that then too, at least the details of it. She always was quite about the details; that's just her personality. When she would talk to me at the office, we never got too in-depth about anything, which is ironic considering we shared the Jack secret. Since my last lunch with Sharon, Andy had moved in, and I could see a change in her; the sparkle in her eye told me she was happy and in love. Jack had taken away so much from Sharon, but he didn't take that. No, it just took years for her to find that happiness again.
Today, it is a day all about Sharon and Andy. He's good for her. I can see that just by how she lights up when talking about him. I'm really excited to see Emily and Ricky too; it's been awhile. I think the last time I saw them in person was at Ricky's high school graduation. I have heard all about their adult lives, but I'm looking forward to talking to them at the reception. I know the three of them have been through a lot. Jack was in and out of their lives, still is. I haven't seen Jack since that day, the last day he just walked out of the office, not a single mention of leaving town. I'm okay with that. I know he was in and out of town over the years, but thankfully, I haven't had to see him. It's just as well. While I might have held my tongue while I worked for him, I don't know if I would be so kind now. I'd probably tell him what I really think of him and what he's done. He'd be shocked to know I am here, his secretary at his ex-wife's wedding. Today, there's no other place I'd rather be.
