I don't own FFVII, Square Enix does.
Zack never does talk to Aerith about the incident. Instead, he chooses a silent forgiveness over a verbal one. This way, things can fade to dust and he will never have to learn of the ugliness of his wife. Aerith wakes up one morning to find his arms around her, and even more silently thanks him back. They do not talk about what happened, but that morning, they eat breakfast together for the first time in weeks.
When Kadaj's wails pierce the breakfast calm and Aerith volunteers to get him. She tries not to note that Zack warily follows behind her, he has forgiven her but not forgotten.
Kadaj looks near inconsolable with his pacifier in the corner and Souba dashed to the side. The boy is mumbling aggrieved nothings and his arms are angrily outstretched towards his mother. Aerith hesitates and Kadaj becomes more insistent, going as far as to try to climb out of his crib. She catches him before he can even get a leg up and holds him close.
A part of her tears inside; groans melancholy and deep. Her baby, her baby boy, crying out for her; how could she have left him alone for so long? The nagging guilt that had kept her at the labs is nothing compared to what pulses through her now. She had thought, no, she had feared Kadaj would be afraid of her. That the things she had been accused of would be true and she would be guilty, guilty, guilty as sin. But, here he is snuggling up against her, rubbing baby soft cheeks into her worn college shirt, like nothing had ever happened. Oh, how her baby boy trusts her!
She wants to drop from the grief of that statement. Let him go and curl up into herself. Curl up into that ugliness and festering; soak in that rot that has been there since she was a child. She wants to sit and pick at it until it is no more, until she knows herself again. Was it the other "her' that did something to Kadaj? The her that whispers nasty things and shines out acid green. She does not want to think about it. Instead, she wants to sit down with Kadaj and play for hours and hours and hours. Make up a fairytale world where monsters do not exist and Hojo's former test subjects never hurt. She wants to be a regular mother who is not afraid of herself or what she may become. Her ambitions have always had a high price but please don't let it be her son.
There are things she knows, things she does, and things she understands are wrong. She looks at Kadaj and wants to tell all of her secrets to Zack. Unfortunately, she cannot. He is not enough; he was never enough, though Aerith wishes he was. His kind heart cannot understand the darkness of this world and that monsters are everywhere, possibly, even in his own home. No, he cannot see. Does not want to see the dark things that lurk in front of him. That is why she needs Sephiroth, though she throws him away time and time again.
Sephiroth understands and lives in a world of darkness. Baptized in the experiments of a soulless ghoul, he understands that the world may only be suffering and people can be filled with rot. Aerith had thought that she could change that, bring things into the light with Kadaj. As she looks at the healing red of Kadaj's scar; she wonders how she have ever of been so stupid to think a shadow could escape the night? Now, all she has done is potentially add another victim to the cycle. She sinks to the floor and sobs holding Kadaj close.
Zack takes in the situation ready to jump in should things go awry. He allows Aerith to sob over their child; he takes it as an unspoken confession. He will stand witness and be forgiveness, because even with this moment, he loves her so. He too lowers himself down to her level and puts his arms around his family, let them all be absolved of sin and weep together for absolution.
The previously forgotten breakfast tastes like bitterness but Kadaj does not seem to notice. He waddles around the two of his parents trying to dish out his portion of food.
"Kadaj," Aerith gently scolds as the boy returns for the third time with pancake hanging from his fork. "Silly boy, you shouldn't play with your food".
She takes no action, settling for being amused at Kadaj's appearance.
"No?" Kadaj questions, his baby locks tilted to one side along with his head.
The loosely fitted puppy themed hoodie does nothing to quell the cuteness. It almost overrides the unsightly bandage that threads around the boy's chest. Aerith holds out her hand to grasp the boy but he quickly turns to his more willing accomplice. Wasting no time, Kadaj holds his fork up to Zack.
"Dada, 'ankik?" he questions and who is Zack to deny his son anything?
Swooping down, he gently puts the boy on his lap and proceeds to eat the offered goods. He gags a bit when he realizes Souba's fur has flavored the morsel but he does not want to spoil the moment. He settles for funny faces and he laughs when Kadaj tries to mimic them back.
Aerith watches from the other end. This scene is perfect in her eyes and she wonders if Zack really understands how much of Kadaj is really his. She giggles into the back of her hand at the thought that only a son of Zack would ever find a funny face war something serious. For a second, she sees Kadaj with brown hair and beautiful blue eyes but the scene clears and things are still perfect. Aerith wants to bask in this, wishes that these moments were the only moments. If only she could freeze time, she sadly thinks .She looks at the pair and suddenly feels a sense of foreboding. How long will these perfect days last, how long before the lurking monsters start to come out? She looks upon the pair again and prays dearly to herself that she will not be the one that hurts them.
