Chapter 8: Remembrance

...Day 1...

The line to the bathroom on the express train to Hogwarts was long and moving slowly but Hermione found the waiting a welcome excuse to be away from her compartment. When the last toilet flushed giving her access to the safe haven, Hermione immediately went to the sink and splashed some water on her face. She sighed as she raised her head and stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror as she thought about the previous events that sent her running like a bat out of hell from her compartment.

Severus shifted quite uncomfortably next to Hermione as they both watched their beautiful vivacious red-headed friend chatting incessantly with her crowd of girlfriends. Hermione found it fascinating somewhere buried deep under her uncomfortable and awkward, slightly jealous disposition, that her friend could so easily command the attention and following of those around her like moths to a flame. She had felt a little inclined to join in at the start of their journey but quickly found that her voice was drowned out, blatantly, each time she tried to say a word. It was obvious to Hermione that for some reason the girls surrounding Lily did not want Hermione, nor Severus, having any part in their leader's life, and so they were squashed in a far corner furthest from Lily and occasionally eyed like disgusting feces that stunk up the place.

One girl did not really engage so much as the others did and she was seated right next to Hermione. It almost seemed like the quiet girl was being bullied in a less than obvious way, for although she was at least allowed to travel around with the other girls, she was not really acknowledged and from what Hermione gathered, was more of a lap dog than a friend. It made Hermione mad that they would treat the poor girl that way; she had always thought Alice Fawley a kind, smart, and genuinely caring girl who deserved a far better friend than that.

"Oh, by the way, Hermione, did you get that bottle of witches hair cream I sent you a couple of days ago? Pearl didn't have a response when you sent him back and I was worried she might of dropped it during her trip since it was such a heavy load." Lily asked innocently from the opposite side. The girls surrounding Lily, immediately shushed and turned to give Hermione critical unfriendly eyes that made Hermione blush.

"Er, yes I got it." Hermione responded lamely as Lily smiled prettily and one girl gave a small scoff.

"Was it Mercy Roots Witches Hair Cream? That one is normally the best one on the market but," the girl said with an obnoxious glance at Hermione's hair, "your hair looks awful! Er, I mean, not really awful just... no different than its normal bushiness I should say." the girl said with a teasing giggle that made the others except for Lily laugh rudely.

"I haven't gotten a chance to try it out yet." Hermione responded as the pretty perfectly straight chin-length blonde haired blue eyed girl named Mary gave her a knowing look.

"I can see that." she responded just before another girl with light slightly reddish-brown shoulder-length hair piped a question.

"It's really quite fascinating, I've always wanted to know...Do you just brush out your hair or does it naturally dry to such puffiness?" she asked, leaning forward with a serious face. Lily laughed uncomfortably as Hermione felt herself boil and melt at the same time with a rush of anger and sadness.

"Okay, that was mean, Marla. Hermione's hair isn't that puffy so don't exaggerate." Lily retorted as Mary and Marla, or M&M as they liked to refer to themselves just smiled fakely.

"Thank you, Lily." Hermione responded, throwing a glare at the other two girls when her ire won out over her insecurities. Lily smiled at her as the other two just rolled their eyes.

"Fine... Oh, Marla did you get another letter from Sirius this week?" Mary asked her counterpart, once more going into their own little world and piquing Hermione's interest.

"Of course! Did you?"

"Yes! So what did he say in your letter?"

"Oh, just how bored he was at his house. You know Siri, it's always the same old stuff; nobody interesting to hang out with where he lives, going crazy because he had no company, wishing he had someone fun to hang out with to pass the time... he even invited me over so he could at least have one fun person to talk to."

"He invited me too but that was way earlier at the beginning of summer. Unfortunately, I went on a trip to Paris with my family so I couldn't go but he practically begged me to come over when I came back-"

"Excuse me, I've got to... er, go to the toilet." Hermione said before rushing out of the compartment, unable to hear anymore and missing the smirks on M&M's faces and Lily's concerned eyes.

Hermione gripped the sink as she remembered the girl's words and tried to tell herself that she didn't care... that what those stupid girls said didn't matter, that Sirius didn't matter! She had much bigger things to worry about, like balancing her coursework, raging magic, and her strange tattoo...it didn't matter to her that she had spent most of her time only pretending to read her course books out by the hillside with Blue- risking getting bullied by those hooligan boys he used to be friends with- almost every day during the summer only for him to never show. So what if she had sat there wondering why he wasn't turning up when he was actually at home writing letters to mediocre, bratty girls and saying that he was bored because he had no fun friends to hang out with. No, it didn't matter to her...

The face in the mirror stared back at her with an unconvinced expression that made Hermione sigh and jerk away from the sink with frustration. Okay, so it did matter to Hermione. It mattered that after Sirius stole her first kiss- stolen because he had never asked to kiss her and because she couldn't bear thinking she freely gave it to such a, a bestial boy- he had just ignored her ever since. It bothered Hermione that she couldn't get over a boy who merely kissed her an entire year ago and it bothered her that she had actually believed that he might have cared about her. What bothered her the most was that she even liked such a boy... even though she was almost fourteen in a couple of months, she had thought that she was a headstrong independent girl who would like a guy maybe like Remus, who was smart, endearing and bound for future greatness.

Then again, Sirius was smart, and he most certainly could be endearing with his cocky but cute arrogance and that quirked up grin he would make sometimes.. and he was talented in many things, even if they were in pulling pranks but some of those pranks were very elaborate and required a lot of creative brain power...

But no! Sirius was obviously no good! She should have known that since the first time she laid eyes on him hopping fences all those years ago!

This inner war raged within Hermione all the rest of the train ride in the compartment from hell. She and Severus thankfully were able to go off into their own little world as the other lot gossiped, giggled and gasped loudly. She knew without words needing to be exchanged that Severus was very grateful that Hermione was there with him, she could see it in his black eyes sometimes in the pauses in between their conversations. By the time the train finally came to Hogwarts, Hermione and Severus had found themselves bonded after going through such an incredibly trying annoying experience that she was actually calling him Sev, and he, 'Mione.

They were walking comfortably together to the carriages when an unwelcome voice sounded up ahead.

"Severus!" Lucius Malfoy's swotty and impertinent voice called out. Hermione and Sev turned simultaneously towards the Head Boy and Hermione could see his sharp-featured face turned up with a cold displeased expression. Hermione and Sev glanced at each other before Sev gave Hermione a minuscule smile and trudged toward the blond. Hermione watched him go all the way to the Slytherin and climb awkwardly into their carriage with a resigned feeling in her stomach.

She sighed a little downtrodden that she would have to endure the carriage ride with Lily's friends by herself and climbed up the steps before she noticed that there was already somehow six people sitting down.

"Oh, sorry Hermione we thought you had gone off..." Mary said with faux regret as Hermione just rolled her eyes and made to climb down.

"No, wait! I'm sure we can fit Hermione into the carriage if we just squeeze in!" Lily's voice chimed out as Hermione just gave her a half smile.

"No, It's okay Lily, I don't mind at all." Hermione said shooting a glare at the two smug faced girls beside Lily.

"Well, then I'll come with you." Lily announced standing up. Hermione let M&M's face turn into panic before she just shook her head at Lily with a smile.

"Lily, it's not a big deal. I'm a big girl, I can get my own carriage easily, I promise you but thanks." Hermione responded before climbing down and missing Lily's pouting lips and conflicted eyes.

Hermione moved along, counting the number of heads in each compartment before she spotting one with less than six at the very back of the third year carriage line. Relieved, Hermione immediately climbed aboard but paused when she realized just who was occupying the carriage.

"Needing a place to sit Buttons? You can always plop down right here in my lap..." Sirius's smirking face said as he lounged back in his seat with James, Peter and Remus, snickering at his words. Hermione grimaced and immediately turned around to get out and away from the carriage as quickly as she could but a hand snaked out and gripped her arm before she could take a step.

"Oh, come on Button's I was only joking. Sit, sit. Peter, can you move next to Remus-" Sirius instructed with his hand still on Hermione's arm. She eyed it with disgust for a second before she roughly jerked her arm out of his grip, before she plopped down next to Remus with her arms and legs crossed so tightly it was a wonder they didn't snap.

The boys stared at her awkwardly for a second before Sirius took his seat and the carriage started moving. She couldn't even look at Sirius for fear her anger would get the best of her and she would explode all her pent-up feelings onto him.

"It's good to see you, Hermione." Remus said carefully next to her as conversation started to pick up. Hermione turned her eyes to him and smiled genuinely through her anger.

"It's good to see you too. How was your summer?" she asked politely.

"It was fine. How about yours?" he asked. Hermione tensed even further at the innocent questions and let her eyes stray for a heartbeat over at Sirius who was still pouting but conversing with the other boys in his same old lively fashion; it made her extremely angry.

"Oh, my summer was fantastic for once...well, except when I had to go with James to Diagon Alley, but other than that I had a lot of fun hanging out with my old muggle friends. It was super fun, I wasn't bored even once this summer hanging out with them..." Hermione said happily with a giggle very much unlike her. Remus gave her a curious expression before he just shrugged.

"Well, that's good for you..." he answered just before James cut in.

"Hey! I resent that remark! There's no way that hanging out with the great James Charlus Potter is ever a bad or lame experience!" he cried with his nose in the air. A rush of ire ran through Hermione when Sirius laughed boisterously at his friend's expression.

"Oh put a sock in it James." Hermione said rudely through their laughter as she gazed out into the night with a sour expression.

The rest of the night Hermione stayed hyper-aware of Sirius nearly forgetting about her meeting with Dumbledore after the feast. She mentally kicked herself for letting herself get so distracted by the pompous little prick that she was going to be a whole three minutes late.

"Caramel Toffee." Hermione spoke to the golden griffin guarding Dumbledore's office. The impressive Griffin gave her a sort of smirk before it moved and Hermione ascended the steps with dread and excitement.

"Please come in." Dumbledore called through the door before Hermione could even knock. Inside the room, Hermione eyed the trinkets and portraits with her usual fascination before she took her seat next to Professor McGonagall and Head of the Department of Ministries, Wilfred Timbler. Hermione smiled confidently at the occupants before she turned to Headmaster Dumbledore.

"So, do I need to sign something else before I get the time turner?" Hermione asked getting straight to business. Dumbledore smiled and pushed a bowl filled with candy in her direction.

"Would you care for a lemon drop Ms. Black?" he asked as Hermione suppressed her flash of annoyance and shook her head with a smile.

"No, thank you, sir..." Hermione said, deciding to sit back in her seat and just wait for Dumbledore to start the conversation. Dumbledore shrugged and popped one into his mouth. A pause followed in which everyone in their seats, but Dumbledore, of course, shifted in annoyance.

"Headmaster," McGonagall said with a probing voice as she gestured her head to Hermione with wide eyes.

"I do apologize, I'm afraid I always lose myself a tad bit when I eat one of these joyous little yellow treats... As you know Ms. Black we have decided to grant you permission to use a time turner for your classes to help stimulate your quench for knowledge and give you the fullest education possible. You have been tested by Mr. Timbler and Professor McGonagall on your skills and maturity to handle such a life-altering device and we know that you will use it with care and professionalism. So without further ado, Mr. Timbler..." Dumbledore announced gesturing to Mr. Timbler who stood and walked over to Hermione.

"Now, a word of caution before I give to you the turner. You are aware that using the time turner for anything other than repeating your class times will be dangerous and futile. Time is a strange and indefinite variable and if you try to do something, change the past, it would all be for not since time will eventually right itself back. Also, running into yourself is absolutely detrimental to your health for two people cannot exist face to face with their own self. You must be on a constantly aware for well, yourself. Should you cross paths by accident you will suffer enormous consequences... just don't meddle the timeline at all and you will be fine." Timbler said as he withdrew from his coat pocket a long but narrow box, much like a wand box.

Thickly, Hermione gulped and forced down her nervousness as she reached out and grasped the box.

"I understand the risk Mr. Timbler. I will take precautions, I promise it." Hermione vowed as she laid the box down gingerly in her lap. Timbler smiled at her.

"I know you will Miss. Black or I would have never allowed such an occurrence."

"Thank you." Hermione responded with a gracious smile. Besides her, Professor McGonagall stood up and clasped her hands in front of her.

"Well then, as your head of house, Ms. Black, you and that time turner are in my charge. You will be reporting to me regularly on your usages of the turner. If I feel you are misusing it in any way, or if the work seems too great of a burden then I have the authority of taking it back. No if ands or buts!" she said staring down at Hermione with her wide and probing blue eyes. Hermione nodded her understanding and acceptance.

"Wonderful! Then I daresay that this meeting is over. You do not need to sign any more paperwork, Ms. Black...Oh, and Marius has owled in a signed permission slip allowing you to visit Hogsmead. Obviously, you must leave the time turner behind when you do go." Dumbledore said with a smile that Hermione returned wholeheartedly.

"Thank you, Headmaster, I'l make sure I leave it somewhere safe." Hermione said, clutching the box a little tighter with her excitement. Uncle Marius hadn't given Hermione an answer if he would allow her to go to Hogsmead or not but she was relieved that he allowed her to in the end.

"You are most welcome, Ms. Black. Now off to bed with you, I'm sure you'll want to get as much sleep as possible while you still can." Dumbledore said teasingly as Hermione gave a slightly nervous little laugh as she nodded and walked to the door.

Later in her the comfort and privacy of her own room, Hermione sat on her bed staring at the long box on her comforter. She thought about all that she was piling on her plate in the name of knowledge and she was eager and excited about it, but at the same time, she was scared. What if she failed horribly, bit off more than she could chew...

She sighed out loud before she reached out and took off the cover of the box. The tiny golden hourglass sat on the padded surface with a dainty but long golden chain. Hermione stared at it fixedly with a strange sense of deja-vu that she had felt many times during her stay at Hogwarts, but this time there were feelings attached to it like excitement, sadness and fear.

She furrowed her brows at the device, reaching out to pick it up in her hand and then it happened. The feelings magnified as she brought the time turner closer to her and for a moment a split moment she saw...

She gazed down at the turner she wrenched out from her dirty pink jumper, as the door to the infirmary closed shut in the distance. She was thinking about the words Dumbledore said, three turns...but should she really do it? She had been so careful during the year but what if they messed up? What if they ran into their counterparts, then all of it would have been for naught.

But no, Dumbledore believed in her...believed in Harry. He was telling her to do it, and she was wasting precious time doubting him. She knew the law, the risks at stake for meddling with time but... Two lives were on the line and they were the only ones who could save them! Determined, Hermione raised her and knew what she must do.

"Harry, come here," she said urgently. "Quick."

Harry with bewilderment green eyes fixed on the hourglass in her dirty fingers, moved over to her.

"Here-" she said throwing the chain around his neck. A spike of adrenaline and fear made her breathless as she eyed the slightly taller dirt ridden boy. "Ready?" she asked more tell steel herself at all that she and Harry must do when they go back in time.

"What are we doing?" Harry asked, completely lost. But Hermione ignored him and turned the hourglass over three times.

Hermione gasped as her eyes refocused and she dropped the turner in her hand. She stared at the little seemingly innocent object trying to catch her breath and steady her pounding heart.

"What was that?" she asked to it, with a hint of fear and anger. What just happened? Was that her, did she just have a vision? How did that happen? What did it mean?

Jarring pain abruptly hit her. It hit like a white-hot light in the back of her eyes. She clutched her head and bowled over as the throbbing in her head rid her of anything other than excruciating pain. She moaned and rubbed her head on the comforter of her bed as the pain continued to hammer her until eventually, she passed out...

...Day 17...

Hermione sighed tiredly as she spooned into her mouth some porridge for breakfast. She was so deep in her thoughts of school and all the homework and essays she would have to work on she didn't even notice the pretty red-haired girl plopping herself down next to her.

"Er, Hermione...Hermione...Hermione!" Lily called next to her, shaking the girl back into reality. Hermione blinked rapidly before she smiled at Lily.

"Oh! Lily, good morning!" Hermione said as Lily smiled and pointed to her chin.

"You've got oatmeal on your chin, Hermione." Lily said giggling. Hermione turned beet red and hastily snatched a napkin to wipe her face. Lily laughed a little bit before she gave Hermione a half amused, half worried glance.

"Okay Hermione, it's time for you to spill the beans." Lily demanded, facing Hermione full on. Hermione blinked and eyed her friend.

"Er, I don't know what you mean." Hermione said, not looking directly into Lily's eyes. Lily rolled her own green ones and gave Hermione a burning stare.

"It's insulting, you know. Do you honestly think I wouldn't be able to tell that something is going on with you Hermione? You're practically a zombie half the time and you haven't asked me a single thing about Odette or your tattoo or anything for that matter! You don't even do your homework with me and Severus anymore! Now tell me right now what in the world is going on with you. And I mean it!" Lily said sternly as Hermione shifted uncomfortably.

"Lily I-"

"Hermione!" Lily cried in a shrill no-nonsense voice that she usually used for James. Hermione sighed tiredly and decided that she would tell a half-truth.

"I think I'm going a little mental." she whispered as Lily calmed down to listen to her.

"Mental how? Like old Bagshire mental or St. Mungos mental?" Lily whispered back, referring to their extremely eclectic defense against the dark arts professor, Florentine Bagshire, who liked to randomly spare with students in the hallways to 'keep their reflexes sharp!'

"Like, St. Mungos mental I guess... I just keep seeing things...things I don't understand..." Hermione said unsure of how to elaborate herself. Lily, sighed and leaned her pretty head on a fisted hand.

"A little less criptive Hermione..." Hermione shot her friend a glare before she sighed and scrubbed her own face in frustration.

"I don't know what to say! I don't even understand what I'm seeing...I can't find any explanation, any connection but I know, I just know it has something to do with the tattoo on my back..."

"What are you seeing Hermione?!" Lily asked frustrated with her avoidance.

"I keep seeing me...or at least I think it's me, everyone still calls me Hermione but I haven't seen what I look like since I'm not looking in the mirror. Anyway, I'm sometimes at Hogwarts, sometimes I'm at some muggle house I think...at least everything looks muggle...and I'm always with these two boys, Harry and Ron, or rather, I'm always thinking of them and searching for them but I'm always fighting with them and I'm completely stressed out and worried and scared..." Hermione trailed off, her brown eyes desperately looking into Lily's green ones as if begging for an answer, for her sanity. "There's no logical explanation for what I'm seeing, Lily...I've searched high and low but I just can't find a thing..."

"...I don't know what to say Hermione. Have you told any of the professors or Dumbledore?"

"I can't tell them! Don't be silly-they'll just think I'm stressing myself out because of the- because I've asked for more classes...Anyway, I don't need them thinking I'm crazy, I just need answers!" Hermione said frustrated as Lily bit her lip pensively.

"I know you think that the professors would automatically declare you mental or something but I honestly think telling them is your safest option..." Lily said as Hermione scoffed. "No, listen Hermione-"

"Lily!" the loud and obnoxious voice of Mary called out, Lily paused in her sentence and a flash of annoyance crossed her face before she turned and smiled at M&M.

"Morning!" she said before she turned back to Hermione who was frowning slightly. "-anyway Hermione, I still think you should tell-"

"Can we talk about this later Lily?" Hermione said flicking her brown eyes at the two eavesdropping girls "I have to go to the library before class starts to double check something for my papers." She announced standing up but Lily reached out a hand to clasp onto her wrist.

"We will talk later, okay Hermione?" Lily pretty much demanded. Hermione plastered on a smile.

"We will." she reassured, though in the inside she knew she would be avoiding Lily.

Lily eyed her for a second before nodding and letting her go, M&M watching on like two nosy old ladies. Hermione made sure to give them a fake smile which they returned with snarky expressions before she shot out of the Great Hall. She did not go to the library as she had told Lily but instead went right through the entrance doors to the lake outside. There were a few other students about, deciding to take their breakfast outside instead of indoors since it was a pretty day out.

Hermione did not share in her peers relaxed, easy-going mentality; she did not come outside to stare up at the pretty white clouds in the sky, or listen to the singing of the birds or to enjoy the weather...

She simply wanted to think... she wanted to ponder about her visions, about the strange feelings her visions invoked in her like familiarity, a sense of belonging, and a home, she wanted to know just why she was always envisioning herself with 'Harry and Ron' and just what it all meant. Who were they? Why was she constantly seeing herself in Hogwarts with them? Why did she always feel a tinge of sadness whenever the visions ended?

Hermione sighed as she came to the black lake and stared into its murky waters. She felt like the murkiness was a direct representation of her mind...her soul. Something just wasn't adding up...

She thought of all the mysteries she had so easily ignored in the past, like her adoption...just who were her parents? Why did they leave her on the doorstep of Marius Black? and why did Dumbledore always come to her house before she went to Hogwarts? What was he doing? Why did he place such an interest in her? And why had she been separated from Marius? Why couldn't she remember what she was doing in Scotland? And most importantly, why- no- how did she just get a tattoo on her back?

All these questions and more had been plaguing Hermione incessantly that was why she was grateful for all her classes since they helped ease her whirling mind.

A barking laughter cut through Hermione's thoughts. She stopped her pacing around the lake and lifted her head up to find the owner of the laughter. Hermione found him lounging like a prince in the grass laughing without a care in the world, Sirius Black, the only thing that plagued Hermione's mind that wasn't about her past...

He was with James, Remus, and Peter, of course...the four boys seemed to rarely ever be separated from each other for longer than five minutes. It irked Hermione a little bit how much time they all spent together, how easily Sirius had forgotten her. Now that he had his best mates, he hadn't even bothered with her all summer long or with the new school year. Actually, he was apparently getting friendly with a whole bunch of other girls; she had even seen him flirting with an older fourth-year girl which made Hermione doubt herself on if the other rumors of him dating a sixth-year girl was true...

Hermione sighed as she watched him leaning against a great pine tree with James on his left and Remus on his right, and Peter down on the grass in front of them. He was grinning as he said something to his friends before he shoved a ton of grapes into his mouth like an animal making his companions laugh wholeheartedly. Hermione rolled her eyes at his antics and pushed aside the thought of how cute he looked in his Hogwarts uniform and his shiny black hair styled casually over his eyes...

Abruptly, Remus's eyes locked directly onto her own and Hermione couldn't help but freeze. Remus watched her with his head still turned and smiling at Sirius, and Hermione couldn't help but feel as if Remus had somehow known she was standing there. But she had no idea how, she was partially hidden by a small cluster of trees by the lake and she wasn't exactly close but there Remus was, staring directly at her as if he could see every detail of her face. Hermione gulped slightly and Remus finally relinquished his gaze back to his group of friends.

Her heart pounding in her chest at being caught spying, Hermione spun herself around and made her way back into Hogwarts with one other new thought in her head...Remus Lupin.

A/N: I am so sorry for the long wait! I had this done ages ago but I was just missing the last bit so I didn't post...I know this chapter was weird and not nearly as fun as it should've been but third year is proving to be trickier to write than I thought it would! Questions? Concerns? Spell check to report? Let me know!