The feelings that overwhelm me are nothing short of terrifying. Snape holds my arms in a death-like grip as we plunge into a sea of blackness. I know what is to come, yet I am powerless to stop it. It is as if I am swimming in an ocean and there is a large wave heading towards me. There is nothing I can do to change what is to come. I see the first memory rising towards us and I desperately try to pull away, but I am trapped. The Veritaserum still holds me captive. My strength is low.

Together, Snape and I watch as the memory takes shape through the darkness. It is our first meeting at the orphanage. The conversation between him and Sister Mary Elizabeth is but a whisper to our ears, yet it is as if they are screaming their words.

The memory switches to us in Diagon Alley as he takes me around to gather my supplies. It is the first time I meet Uncle Lucious, Aunt Cissy and Draco. I remember it as plainly as I remember my own name, yet I did not know how much of an impact they would have on my life. I am able to see the fear in Snape's eyes now as plain as day. I did not realize how scared he was for me then. I do now.

The memories keep coming. I'm sorted into Slytherin. I become close friends with Harry, Ron and Hermione despite Draco's objections...and most of the Slytherins as well. My first meeting with Professor Quirrell. The unease is easily felt. My first year at Hogwarts rolls by us in seconds, yet none of it is lost on us. I can feel Snape's hold on my arm tighten. I want to scream at him to stop, for he could stop at any time. I don't know why he keeps going. I can feel that his body is shaking.

My second year at Hogwarts plays like the first. The voices in the wall attack my mind. The words of blood splattered on the walls attack my sight. We watch as Snape and I grow a little closer. I willingly go into the Chamber of Secrets and it is there that my memories play out just as they did on that horrible day. I am sitting before Dumbledore as he begs my forgiveness for thinking me capable of opening the Chamber. I am numb, though I do not yet know why.

My memories fade to black, only to be replaced with other memories. Sitting before a large dinning room table, Snape beside me, I feel the familiar chill in the air as Snape and Lucius catch one another in a hard stare. Snape has come to check on me, I know this now, and I feel such love for him. Beside me, I feel his body quiver as he realizes this fact. I am now a Malfoy. I am walking through a train, when something horrible and terrifying looms before me. It attacks me, and I am forced to relive that horrible scream and that dark laugh. I am saved only when Lupin appears. We are thrust forward, my memories flying by, and before me stands Sirius. To see him alive and well is almost my undoing.

The memories are coming faster and faster. My forth year runs past us. I try again to stop them, but it is of no use. I am as much their prisoner as Snape is. I realize he is in control now, and unless he stops this we will go forward. I'm standing before a mirror, looking at myself with wide-eyes. A green dress flows down my body. I'm dancing, yet my eyes are trained to Snape. There is no one more important that he. He watches me, as if he dare not take his eyes from me, yet our stare is shattered as people begin to dance. I follow him out the door, for I feel him pulling me. It is in a darkened hallway that Snape lets his guard down and I find myself in his arms once more. I try, desperately, to cling to this memory, for I know what is to come. There is no denying the moan that comes from him when he watches the memory. Snape leaves me in the darkened hallway, my heart broken. I am in my father's clutches, and it is only Snape that saves me. With a kiss, he brings me back from my father's clutches.

The memory fades, but Snape stretches on. He pulls the next memory from my mind and forces me to watch as Lucius attacks me. I am running for the door, the call device in hand, begging Snape to appear. I am swept away in a sea of black as Snape takes me to Sirius. It is there that our relationship finally blooms. It is there that I know without a shadow of a doubt that I love Severus Snape. My fifth year at Hogwarts rolls by, and I am forced to watch as Sirius is murdered by my mother. I am forced to come face to face with the two monsters that brought me in to this world. The horrifying feeling overtakes me once more.

As those memories begin to fade, I feel my strength building. I try to push against the hold Snape has on my mind, try to break free, but he does not let up, and there is nothing I can do to stop the sixth year at Hogwarts from playing.

"Please..." I whisper desperately through gritted teeth. It does no good.

Snape and Draco are pulling away from me. The two men I love most in this world are becoming strangers. I beg Snape to open up to me, beg him not to shut down. It is no use. The night that we make love appears before us. Snape's hold on my arm is painful, and I hear him gasp. I cannot even begin to imagine what he is thinking. Though it strengthens my love for him to watch our first time, I can only imagine how unbelievable this is for him. The moment I see myself in the Astronomy Tower, I begin to fight harder. I do not want him to see this. He will never understand. The memory begins to fade, and I think that I am winning the upper hand, but it begins to build again, showing as brightly as before. Harry and I are watching the events above us as Snape steps forward. With a soft plead from Dumbledore, Snape sends the man to his death. I am not sure if I heard a scream from Snape, or if it was my imagination, but it is then that the pressure in my mind begins to ease.

Suddenly, I feel myself pushed forward. I am falling swiftly to the ground and hit with a loud thud. Not only does my head hurt, but now my arms are hurting. Behind me, Snape is breathing hard. I try and force myself to look back at him, but I find I am not ready. He has seen what I wanted to keep hidden. He now knows the truth, or at least some of it. Tears fill my eyes as I look before me, yet I see nothing. If only the pounding in my head would cease enough to allow me to think, it is possible I could figure some way out of this.

Slowly, I turn behind me to look at Snape. He is leaning against the wall, his eyes wide and staring ahead of him. He looks like a man in completely shock, and I guess he is. Anyone in his position would be. He begins to slide down the wall until he lands on the ground, but his eyes remain straight and unfocused. I try to think of something to say, but it seems my vocabulary has escaped me for the moment. What cou-ld I ever say to soften this blow?

Snape's head begins to turn my way, and I brace myself for whatever explosion will come from him. For a moment, his eyes stay unfocused, but it does not last. We stare at each other for a long time. I try several times to open my mouth to speak, but my words continue to fail me. I need to speak with Dumbledore. He will know what to do. It seems as though my body will not cooperate either. I am completely spent, as if I have run a marathon.

"What was that?" Snape whispers finally.

His eyes begin to focus again, and they are pointed straight at me. He is waiting on an answer, yet I do not know what to say. Is there an easy way for me to explain what he has just seen? Should I tell him there is more? His face is turning dark. I realize that I am staring into angered eyes.

"Get...out!" He grinds out.

When I do not make a move to stand, Snape is on his feet before I can blink an eye. I have only a second to brace myself before he snatches me up. His hold is painful, not loving as I remember. Again, I find myself in fear of this man.

"Do you think this is some sick joke?" He yells in my face.

As he takes his anger out on me, I realize he also is bringing me closer to him, as if he wishes to hold me in a lover's embrace. I want nothing more than to soothe his anger. I want nothing more than for him to understand what is between us. The Snape I remember would not dare harm me.

"What? What did you show me?" he yells again.

I can see his confusion mixed with his anger. He is shaking me slightly, as if shaking me will make the answers spill from my mouth.

"Those were memories, Severus. You know this to be true, for it was you who drug them from my mind," I whisper, being bolder than I feel.

"Those were no memories!" He hisses.

Snape jerks me towards the door. As soon as we are in the hallway, I begin to think he is taking me to Dumbledore, but as we go deeper into the dungeons, I realize he is taking me somewhere else. My heart begins to race. The pounding in my head becomes too much.

"Where are you taking me?" I cry out in fear.

He does not answer, but drags me deeper into the dungeons. As soon as the cells come into view, I realize what he has planned. Desperately, I begin to try to break his hold on my arm. I struggle so that it causes him to stop his movements and turn back to me. In the deepest part of Hogwarts, I am in a tug-of-war with the man I love, but also the man I fear. In my haste to be released, my arm is being twisted at an inhuman angle. If I do not let up, Snape will break it, but I am desperate to get away. At the very last second, the grasp upon my arm is gone and I am free. At first, I find that I am surprised by Snape's actions. He releases me before harming me. I do not give the thought another second before I turn and run.

Snape is right behind me, I can hear his footsteps, but he does not try to stop me. I do not slow until I am standing in Dumbledore's office. It is just Snape and I for a few moments. There is a wide berth between us, our chest huffing in the act of running. His eyes have lost some of that anger from earlier, but what I see in them makes me feel no better. He looks upon me as something strange and foreign.

The lights burst in around us, and I hear Dumbledore walk into the office. I do not know how he knows we are there, but I do not care. He will make this all better. No one speaks for a few moments as Snape and I are lost in a staring match. I hear Dumbledore walk towards me, and his hand is placed upon my shoulder a few seconds later. It is only then that I look away from Snape and into the eyes of Dumbledore.

"He saw," I whisper. It is the only thing I can say.

For a split second, Dumbledore's walls shatter and I see the disbelief shining in his blue eyes. I do not have time to dwell on it, for his walls are back in place. He turns his concerned face from me to Snape. The two men look at each other for a moment before Dumbledore walks towards Snape.

"Aileen, it is three in the morning. I would like you to go back to your room while Severus and I have a chat," Dumbledore says, his voice calm.

I nod my head, hurrying around Snape as if I fear he will reach out and snatch me away again. When I am safely at the door, I cannot stop myself from turning towards him. As soon as our eyes meet, I am caught off guard yet again. The anger is gone now. What I see staring back at me is too much to hope for, too much to believe. For just a moment, I swear I saw recognition in those black orbs. Shattering my hopes, I remind myself that this is not the Snape I remember. This is not my Snape. My Snape died, though I know in some way he is standing before me. The need to feel his arms around me almost makes me run to him, but instead, I force myself to walk out of the door.

It is well into the afternoon before I pull myself out of bed. Already, the room is empty. The students are enjoying a relaxing Sunday outside. I realize that I need to join my friends before they begin to become suspicious of my absence. I am not sure how things are in this world, but I know that some things haven't changed that much. I still have a close circle of friends. Perhaps their company is what I need.

Sure enough, my friends are lounging around the grounds of Hogwarts. They are sitting under a Weeping Willow tree as I join them. Neville is telling them another of his wild ideas, and immediately he gets shot down.

"Hey," Draco says softly, bumping me with his shoulder.

I turn towards him, trying to give him my best smile, though I know it falls flat. I cannot think of anything but Snape. I wonder what Dumbledore has told him. Has he explained everything to him? I feel it is too much to hope for that Snape will accept what he saw as truth.

"Hey," I respond back.

"Is everything okay?"

I look at my cousin. At least in this world Draco and I haven't changed much. He is still my best friend. "I'm fine, just a little homesick," I say, thinking that will be a good excuse.

"Speaking of home, I heard Dumbledore invited the Order to the school!" Hermione chimes in.

Everyone turns their eyes towards the girl leaning against Draco. Their eyes grow wide for a moment, while I try to process that there is still an Order. Why would their be an Order in this world?

"We must be in big trouble!" Ron groans.

"Why else would he ask our parents to come to the school if not to punish us!" Neville whines.

It dawns on my in that moment the reason why the Order is coming. I told Dumbledore that I wanted to see my parents. I told him I wanted to see Sirius and Lupin, Tonks and the Weasleys. That is why they are coming. I cannot tell my friends this, for it would raise too many questions. Instead, I play along, acting as if I am upset, but all I feel is complete and utter joy.

"Thanks a lot Neville!" Fred and George say at the same time.

"Come on, I said I was sorry didn't I? Look, it was a great plan, and we had fun. How was I to know that Aileen would fall through that hole? It's the only reason we got caught!" Neville huffs.

"Don't blame me," I laugh. "It's not my fault we will all have to face our parents!

Suddenly, the good mood I felt around the Weeping Willow begins to change. The mood darkens, yet mine becomes excited. What kind of relationship do I have with my parents in this world? Will I be able to look them in the eyes with the memories I have of them? They tortured me, almost killing me. Can I see past that, knowing that that never happened? My questions continue to grow as I sit with my friends.

After supper, I find that I am not tired. Instead of following my fellow Slytherins to the common room, I allow my feet to guide me. It is not until I feel the wind sweeping through my hair that my mind catches up to my surroundings. I am standing at the top of the Astronomy Tower.

"Why does my path always lead me here?" I mumble into the darkness.

I look out over the darkened grounds of Hogwarts, and it is a while before I realize I am not alone. I feel a presence around me. Whoever is here with me stands in the shadows. My first thought is to turn and bolt, but I am curious to see who it is. I turn to where I think they are standing, and sure enough I see the shadow move.

"Hello?" I call out gently.

For several minutes, nothing happens. It isn't until I am almost ready to leave that someone walks out. For the second time I find myself face to face with Snape. He is looking everywhere but in my eyes. My breath hitches as I realize it is him. He looks different somehow, as if he is lost. Snape has always had an air of confidence, of strength, but right now he has neither of those. I wait patiently for him to speak, for his mouth opens and closes several times.

"I...I am sorry for scaring you earlier."

"I understand. I can only imagine what that must have been like for you to see..." I trail off, not knowing what to call the memories he has seen.

Another round of silence ensnares us. Snape takes a step, and then another, and before I realize it, he is standing before me. It is then that his eyes turn to mine. We stare at one another, the wind the only sound. I feel a shifting, though I am not sure what it is.

"May I ask you some questions?" he whispers.

I shake my head yes, not trusting my voice at the moment.

"How old are you...I mean, how old would you be in the—in the..."

"Nineteen," I answer, knowing what he is trying to ask.

He nods his head in understanding. It is a few seconds before he asks me another question, and during those seconds he takes another step towards me. I look down at his feet, watching the wind blow his cloak around him.

"Albus told me there is more than what you have shown me, is that correct?" he whispers.

My eyes move back to his black orbs and I nod my head yes.

"Show me...please."

"I am not sure you want to see it," I say, my voice cracking.

"I am not afraid," he breaths. To my surprise, he reaches up and tucks a stray hair behind my ears. My eyes close on their own, feeling his finger gently touch the back of my ear. His hand lays lightly on my shoulder as I open my mind to him again.

I show him everything. I show how he left me after killing Dumbledore. He sees what my life was like without him, how broken I was. We both watch as he saves me from certain death the night Moody was killed. I show him my seventh year at Hogwarts, and how he revealed the truth to me. For the second time, we see us make love. The hand on my shoulder begins to grip tighter. He sees himself standing before my father, begging him to spare my life. The memory jumps to Draco and him trying to bring me back from the dead, and him crying out to take him instead of me. My heart breaks watching his sorrow.

We are thrust forward to the moment he and Harry come face to face and I beg him to tell the truth, which he refuses. Instead, he leaves me and the school in the hands of the Order. I have no time to prepare myself for what I am about to see. I have no time to prepare Snape. Before us is a torn and decimated school. The war is raging forward and students, teachers and Death Eaters alike are falling to the ground dead. Even now, it is almost impossible to watch. But I do watch as I meet Snape in the broken halls of the school. For the last time, I see him standing tall and strong.

The memory fades, being replaced by another in the form of a boat house. I cry out, trying to retch myself free of the memory. I do not want to relive it again. I do not want to relive losing him, but Snape is determined to see. The hand upon my shoulder wraps around me, bringing me into warmth. In Snape's arms, I am forced to relive the memory of his death over again.

It is not just his death I am forced to see, but the deaths of Fred, Lupin, Tonks, my mother and my father. So many more dead faces swim before our vision. I know that I am crying, yet I cannot stop the tears from falling. The war is over, yet the horrors have just begun. One after the other, Snape and I watch the funerals. We watch as Lupin and Tonks are laid to rest beside one another. We watch as Fred is laid to rest, his family gathered close around his casket. And we watch as the black casket holding Snape's body is laid in the ground with hundreds of people watching atop the hill overlooking Hogwarts.

The scene fades, until another takes its place. I am standing in Dumbledore's office with the Time-Turner in my hand. It is here that I changed the fate of everyone. Everything I did, everything I changed, begins to play itself out like a movie.

Before I realize it, Snape releases my mind and I am standing in the Astronomy Tower again. The darkness looms all around me, hiding the tears on my face. What is he thinking? I try to look at his expression, but the darkness is hiding him from me. Is he angry again? His hold on me slowly loosens, until his arms are at his side once more. Instantly, a cold feeling sets in. I want his arms around me again, around me where they belong. For a moment, I contemplate asking him to hold me, but I do not think he will. It is best that I leave, I know this, but it is easier said than done. Seeing those memories again reminds me of what he and I had. I want it back so bad I can think of nothing else. I want Snape to understand what we had, but I do not know if that is possible. He is standing beside me, as rigid as stone. Finally, I force my legs to move towards the exit.

When my hand reaches the door, Snape speaks. I freeze instantly, his words not registering in my dazed mind. I stand in complete shock, my wide eyes staring at the door. A voice in my head is screaming for me to turn around, yet I find I cannot move. The hand holding the doorknob begins to shake.

"Say something," Snape begs softly.

I find the strength to turn and face him, my eyes still wide. It takes several tries for my words to come out audibly.

"Say it again," I say, just barely above a whisper.

Snape is facing me fully, tears visible in his eyes. "I said that I have waited years to meet the girl that has haunted me in my dreams."