Shuichi could barely believe what he had just been told. In fact, it sounded so crazy that he was at first convinced it was some kind of sick joke. The voice on the other side of the line had sounded familiar before: he was now certain it was his parents' agent. A guy he had seen just as much as them, in short, if his memory wasn't failing him. His hand was still shaking, his fingers barely holding onto his phone.
He didn't know if he had just gulped his pride, the fact he was in love with Kaede or that very piece of news.
He got out of the bathroom, only to see the girl herself standing near the door. God, he wasn't ready to face her again. Not with the almost-taste of bile in the back of his throat. He was lucky he wasn't already crying his eyes out, after all. Perhaps he should just deal with it and stop being so emotional. Everyone had been just fine dealing with their own soulmates, why would his case be any different?
"Ah, Shuichi!" Kaede said as she twirled to face him. "We were getting worried, so I came to fetch you…"
She stopped for a few moments, her face turning into growing concern.
"Are you alright? You don't look like you're doing so good… Did I offend you earlier?"
God, even when she was worried she was beautiful. How did it come that she was soothing to hear and see when she was the reason he was choking on his own feelings barely minutes ago? This truly was a paradox he wished he knew the answer to.
"N-no, it's not that, it's… Huh…"
He needed to tell someone else about this. It was just too heavy for him to solely bear.
"You mind going outside with me? I need to tell you something… But, I mean, I understand if you want to stay with the others…"
"You look awfully shaken… Let's find a calm spot, okay? You'll tell me there."
They both made their way out of the restaurant and to a calm, grassy spot not too far from there. Night had already arrived: she was holding his hand, probably not realizing so, as he guided her there in the darkness and the few lit streetlights not too far from them. He wanted nobody but her to listen to his pleas for help.
They sat on the dry grass, facing a small pond, under the white-dotted black sky. He only noticed at this very moment it was the full moon, as it gently lit her face. The calm breeze made the atmosphere feel serene when, in his mind, it was all a turmoil of feelings and sensations twirling on itself. He was downright lost, but he hoped that, even if he kept his feelings secret from her, she would guide him out of this mess.
"So," Kaede asked in a soft tone, gently squeezing his hand, "what did you need to tell me? Don't worry for how I'm going to react, please. I just feel like you have to let something out…"
"Hum… It's because I just learnt something and, huh… I… I really shouldn't dump that on you, but…"
"I said, don't worry for me! Just say it, okay? If you don't mind, that is."
Shuichi took a deep breath, feeling his heart ache in a thousand different directions. In fact, it was closer to a vine having taken hold of it and planting a myriad of thorns right into his feelings.
"The thing is… When I went to the bathroom, I got a call from a familiar man. It turns out that… That…"
His voice was stumbling upon every word he meant to get out. Every single one of them. How so?
"My parents have just died."
Kaede gasped at this. Truly, he didn't expect her to take the matter lightly, especially since she knew about his tough time with his family, but her shock still hurt to witness. His heart had, truly, a very rough time over there, split between his guilt over this and the sudden news.
"I'm… I'm so sorry to hear this… My apologies…"
"It's okay, they just got confirmed dead. I… I didn't get a lot of details, but… They were in a life-or-death condition after a car crash, and… And…"
Shuichi put his hands on his face. His tears were ugly and, despite how vulnerable he was at the moment, he didn't want to curse his soulmate with the sight of them. He thought it would sadden her too: she cared for him as a friend and, truly, nobody liked seeing their friends cry.
He felt a supportive arm wrap itself around his shoulders.
"I… I don't know what to think… It's so sudden and out of nowhere, I… I don't feel like I'm…"
He bit his lip.
"I'm not ready to be an orphan… That sounds so selfish, I'm sorry… I'm… I'm kind of a mess over there…"
Being so clean about his feelings was a whole new experience in itself. He was usually reserved, especially when it affected him so badly, but there he was. Crying openly about his recent loss.
All Kaede did in response was to bring him against her chest. Without thinking much, he wrapped his own arms around her, leaning against the warmth of her body, feeling the softness of her light jacket and hearing her heartbeats.
"You've just lost your parents, it's normal you feel so scared and shocked… I would be if I learnt from the day to the other that mine died too. Don't feel bad for being in such a state, it's normal to be lost in that kind of situation."
Her voice just made his body untense every time he heard it, as if it was a balm for his emotional wounds. If only it just acted against his sudden feelings of grief too…
"I… I realize I didn't hate them as much as I thought… Why else would I cry…? It's way too late to realize that, though…! They're gone and it's only now that I realize they weren't so bad… Like, sure, they've never been around much… but they did try to help out my uncle raise me… I guess they were just confused about parenting and… forgot a child needs affection too…"
Kaede's grip on him strengthened.
"They deserved better than such a violent and sudden death… They weren't good parents… but they weren't bad people either…"
All Shuichi could do after a while was sobbing. Deep inside himself, a part of him still loved his parents for the few good memories they had brought to him: a few family days, coming back to Japan when he graduated high school, keeping an eye on him during some of his early sick days… However, it turned out that most of him was actually crying because it felt empty. The lack of actual attachment to them and the absence of a true, emotional affection from them had left him feeling like only their role towards him, their occupation mattered.
Come to think of it, Shuichi didn't know how his parents were. He didn't know if they were nice or mean people. He didn't know what they liked, disliked, how they enjoyed spending free time or what they did together as a couple. The only things he knew by himself, not just by his uncle's stories about his mother, were that they loved the idea of soulmates and that they weren't good parents at all.
He'd just have to put that all in a past tense, now.
He cried his parents' death as he would have cried a relative's one. To be fair to himself, he didn't know anyone who had lost their parents recently: Kaito had lived with his grandparents as far as he knew, Maki had lived in an orphanage since she was a baby and all the others still had theirs. How did people usually react to such news?
"But, I still feel somewhat empty… I'm sad, but… I feel like I should be sadder than that… It's like I'm sadder of… becoming an orphan than because I… actually lost two important people in my life…"
His voice got so caught up in his throat that he couldn't speak anymore. He had forced himself to stay as strong as possible, even though all he wanted to do was to cry in someone else's arms. As such, all he did was to stay in her embrace, crying, letting go of his forming grief. The situation was downright losing him, but he had a crutch, something to grip as he felt at his lowest in a while, and perhaps something which would help him to go back to his feet once it was time for him to do so.
However, Kaede didn't seem to mind being his shelter for a night, even if she was supposed to have a good time with friends and not console him of his sudden parental loss. He felt secure in her arms, protected from the dangers of the world and from his own harmful feelings. There simply was something about her that made him feel better if she was near him.
They remained in this hug-like lock, feeling her hand pass through his hair, until his sobs calmed down and his sadness had subdued. It wasn't to say he felt nice: Shuichi still felt like a part of his world had broken. Perhaps that was why he was so scared: something he was used to, his parents' almost-presence, was gone forever now. Perhaps he was, most of all, panicked because his world was changing tremendously in the span of a few minutes.
"You're feeling any better?" Kaede asked him as he let go her, slowly going back to a more ordinary sitting position.
"Y-yeah… Once again, sorry for dumping this on you…"
"It's okay! I prefer to know what makes you feel so bad and being able to act on it than ignore it. In this kind of situation, you need comfort and someone to listen to, right? This is why I'm here."
"Thank you so much, Kaede… This means a lot to me…"
She put her hands on his shoulder and locked her eyes into his. His cheeks were heating up by the second.
"Hey, we're friends, right? That's what friends are for! We support each other and, since I know you'll support me if anything happens to me, I'm going to support you through this!"
"Oh, right, I'll have a ton of paperwork to deal with since they must have left behind scripts and screenplay rights… You'll even help me with those?"
"Of course! It's an annoying thing to deal with, but you'll still be pained by the time it comes around, so we'll take care of it together, okay? I'm sure you'll be able to ask Kaito or Kirumi to help you too, even if… It'd matter a lot to me to do it with you…"
He was blushing even more, while she looked away, seemingly embarrassed. This truly wasn't the time to think of how much he loved her and how happy he was to have by his side right this moment, feeling like putting aside his parents' death was disrespecting them, but… It also felt like his heart had cried out so much that it wasn't able to cry anymore for a while.
And, truly, he needed something to make him forget the taste of his own tears and how sore his throat was from the sobs and the cries. He couldn't do much about the situation at the moment: the agent had told him they were waiting for more information and, as his mother's only sibling, his uncle also had a right to the possessions of his parents. In a way, he hoped Uncle Shinichi would take most of it, but he knew the man was better than that and would either split heavenly to give his nephew the majority of what was left behind.
What he wanted to keep hidden from his heart bled out from his mouth.
"I… I'm scared I'm going to lose anyone tomorrow, now… What if, instead of my parents, it's Kaito, or Gonta, or… you, even… I don't want to lose you, Kaede…"
"I'm not going anywhere, so please don't worry… I'll be here for you, Shuichi, even if you don't need my help for anything. Nobody's going anywhere."
"B-but, what if any of you… was in a car crash…? These things happen and are usually violent but brief… What if someone robs you again but tries to get rid of you with it so you can't speak against them…?"
That sentence seemed to have thrown Kaede off-guard. Her face didn't exactly turn pale, but she was clearly disgusted at the prospect of what he implied. It wasn't very tasteful, he had to admit: sure, they had met thanks to that robbery case, but she was terrified when she had realized someone was trying to harm her and what was precious to her. He probably shouldn't have said that.
To his surprise, he didn't get slapped or screamed at. Instead, Kaede pulled him into a strong, tight embrace which felt like it could break his ribcage. A quick glance at her eyes revealed to him she had an almost ferocious look. As he was clutched against her heartbeats, he realized something: in this position, she was physically protecting him from the outside world which had killed his parents and harmed them before.
The warmth Kaede emitted was, by an extraordinary paradox, both reassuring and intimidating: there was a gentle side which cared for him and a rage which wouldn't hesitate to destroy half of the world if it meant getting them both safe. Why did he assume them both, de facto excluding their friends? Maybe it was because they were physically alone together at the moment…
"Are we only friends, though?" she whispered, seemingly to herself, as the hand she had on top of his head extended its fingers through his hair.
"What do you mean…?" he asked back, enticed. This sure was random of her to bring up. "We're close friends, but friends…"
"I know platonic soulmates are a thing, especially among people who were already dating someone, but… Is it really our case? Are we just friends who get along very well?"
She shook her head.
"It's the worst time to bring it up, though… Sorry for that."
"No, it's fine, I… I prefer not to think about that thing until I get more info from their agent… Please continue…"
"You're sure about this?"
"Yeah… I need to stop thinking about it…"
"Sure thing then…"
Shuichi found himself strangely interested. Why would she bring the topic up seemingly out of nowhere, right when they were alone together? Perhaps she was scared he was in love with her, because she would have to tell him it wasn't her case. Kaede was a kind person: she would surely be afraid to break his heart.
From where his head was, he could tell her pulse had quickened when she spoke up about the ideas of them "just being friends". This was kind of starting to sound like she loved him the way he loved her and, well, that was a best-case scenario he wasn't willing to believe in because of the high chances of this hope getting shattered to the ground.
"I've always felt like we had some kind of special link, don't you?" Kaede explained, eyes looking forward in the moonlight. "I mean, that could just be us being soulmates, when I talked Kirumi about it, she told me it was closer to her love for her soulmate rather than their soulmate link in itself…"
"Kaito more or less told me the same…" He added as he gently pulled out from the hug. "Well, when he wasn't teasing be, that is…"
"Teasing you about what?"
"He always calls you my girlfriend, if it's any indication as to the type of teasing I'm thinking about…"
"That's so childish! He's teasing you because you have a female friend, just like when you're in middle school!"
Yet, her body language contradicted her. Instead of looking confident in her denunciation of Kaito's childishness, she adverted her eyes from him and… was she actually blushing? This could only mean two things: she either felt embarrassed from the comment or took it as a compliment of sorts. The prospect of the second hypothesis pleased him more than it should have…
"But…" she then said, "I don't mind being called this, for some reason… It's childish and unnecessary, but I kind of like it…"
"Why such the sudden change of mind? It doesn't sound like you to switch opinions so quickly, Kaede…"
Okay, she was definitively blushing, there was no doubting it.
"W-well… I think this isn't something to tell you about right now, no matter how much you want to forget about that…"
"Please tell me, Kaede. I'm having an idea as to what this is about and I… I need you to shake myself out of it. Please."
He wiped his eyes to take a firmer resolve, as a way to show her she could tell him without getting concerned for his grief. In a way, she'd make the situation easier: she would resolve the growing anxiety his feelings for her had given him.
She took his hands in hers as their eyes met each other. As they rose up together from the ground, he was reading a somewhat familiar determination in her glaze.
"Listen, Shuichi. I couldn't have picked a worst time to tell you this, but I need to confirm to you I'll always be with you, that I'll always support you and that you're not alone in this. Even if something like this has never happened to me, I'll try my best to help you. As such, please accept my words.
Kaede took a deep breath in, breathed out, gulped and locked her eyes into his again.
"Shuichi, you're one of the most important people in my life. You've always been kind, patient and helpful to me, no matter what you had going on. I don't see my life without you as my friend anymore, as if you were always there. You're always here for me and, without you, my life would still be a dull piano piece with a strong emphasis on a soulmate myth. You made soulmates real to my eyes because you're mine and I'm yours. I know this is cliché, but…"
Her fingers squeezed his palms.
"I love you, Shuichi."
The small sentence, despite its shortness, stunned him out of his mind for a few seconds. Did it mean that… his feelings had an alter ego? That his crush, that he was oh so cursing earlier, wasn't unreciprocated? This was… beyond best-case scenario for such a dire situation.
"Kaede, I… I don't know what t-to say…" he stuttered, fiddling with his fingers.
If his hands weren't taken, one of them would have clutched his heart. This was so much.
Shuichi himself gulped. A wave of unknown chills went down his spine, unlike anything he had experienced before.
"I… I realized only a couple hours ago I loved you that way too, but… I didn't expect you to reciprocate it… and tell me about it so shortly after my realization…"
"Is this why you went to the bathroom earlier tonight?"
"Yeah…"
A small smile appeared on his face.
"I love you too, Kaede."
The blonde grinned like he had never seen her do so, eyes filling with happy tears, tears she wiped with her sleeve before her mascara could taint her face. Before he knew it, her hands were cupping his face and he was pulled into a kiss. The shock of surprise soon gave to him returning the favour, albeit he didn't really know how to kiss someone well, so he went for a simple one.
Once they had pulled out, their fingers intertwined as they looked at each other in the eyes. The scene had everything of a cliché: the moonlight, the lovers' lost and shiny glaze, the dumb butterflies he had in his stomach…
"Oi, ya finally made it bro!"
Upon hearing Kaito's voice, they both turned to the source of it, only to notice him and the others clapping. Even Kirumi was softly clapping her hands together, while everyone else had varying degrees of smiles, from Maki's small satisfied grin to Gonta's gigantic grin.
"Since when have you been here?!" Kaede asked in an embarrassed yell.
"Since you two were telling each other about platonic soulmates!" Tenko replied with her hands in thumbs up. "Treat her well, Shuichi!"
He couldn't help but giggle at that.
"I'll do."
Kaede leaned into his ear, to whisper something he didn't know he needed until she acted upon it:
"We'll take care of it together. But for now, let's go back with the others and have some fun, okay?"
He whispered back.
"Sure thing."
