Hey guys, sorry for not posting yesterday, I may have gotten a bit too tired and fell asleep mid edit! But finished now and I hope you enjoy! Thank you to all who are reading, hope you are enjoying! Thank you to those who are leaving reviews too! Please continue to do so, I love hearing from you!
Again, sorry to say this story is unbeta'd, I apologise for any mistakes in spelling and so on...
Chapter Eight – A sense of security.
I'm no prophet or Messiah
Should go looking somewhere higher
I'm only human after all
Lena stretched, making a noise akin to a cat as she shifted her body slightly, popping the bones her joints back into place with little cracking noises as she did so. Lena loved that first morning stretch- there was nothing more satisfying then when you stretched, and all your little bones and joints flexed back after a good night's rest.
While moving she had noticed that there was a weight on her chest, a weight that was blowing a steady puff of air every few seconds against her neck.
Opening her eyes, Lena looked down and smiled at the sight she was met with.
A mass of blonde hair was sprawled across her chest as Kara lay curled into her side, using her chest as a pillow once again. Kara had her one ear pressed against Lena's chest, making the CEO smile as she knew that Kara had been listening to her heartbeat again. Kara's head was angled upwards slightly, making the puffs of breath that she exhaled hit against Lena's neck, due to her resting her chin against the side of the blonde's head. Kara's one arm was thrown over Lena's stomach, her hand griping tightly to the material of Lena's sleep shirt while her other arm was tucked up close to her own chest, holding on to Krypto the stuffed dog.
Kara looked peaceful, and that brought a smile to Lena's face.
She likes feeling as though she was able to offer her friend a sense of security, especially in sleep.
It hadn't gone un-noticed to her how the less Kara had seen of her friendship group lately, the more tired she had become, the stress and worry of what was going on clearly leaving her unable to sleep.
Kara may be Supergirl- but she still needed sleep.
Maybe not as much as everyone else but at some point, if she didn't find a way to rest she would have trouble functioning just like Lena herself would and did when this was the case for her.
After Jack had died, Lena had struggled to sleep. She had been withdrawn and tired and pushed people away- not that there were many to push away to begin with. Kara hadn't let her though- she had battled her way through the walls that Lena had placed up around her heart and pulled her out of a very dark place. It was in that time, when Lena finally let the walls fall, and when she finally let Kara Danvers into her heart that she realised the depths of her feelings for her best friend for the first time. She realised she was in love with Kara.
Lena sighed as she melted into the feeling having Kara close to her.
Waking up like this- hearing the waves splashing outside and seeing the sun light streaming in through the window from outside- was relaxing.
It was a feeling she could get used to.
She felt warm and energised. She felt so unbelievably safe but at the same time so wanted as well, with the way that Kara clung to her.
Having Kara close like this made her feel complete.
Lena relaxed into the mattress below her, wrapping the arm she had around Kara's shoulders just the little bit tighter, keeping her pressed up closely against her chest and smiled even wider.
Last night had been perfect- it had been everything she had hoped for and so much more.
Kara agreeing to go on a date with her had to be one of the best things she had ever heard come out of the reporter's mouth. It made Lena feel giddy inside, it made her mind run with ideas of how to make this date the best it could possibly be.
While she had been truthful when she told Kara that she didn't expect anything from her, she was going to try her hardest to woo the girl that was fast asleep curled up next to her right now.
She hoped that tomorrow when she woke up, she would be able to know for sure what the feel of Kara's lips against her own felt like- rather than just imagining it.
Lena was pulled from her thoughts by Kara grumbling in her sleep as she shifted around on the bed. As Lena looked to the clock on the bedside table she could see it was still early- while it was her usual time to wake, she doubted that Kara would wake for at least another few hours. Kara enjoyed her sleep, whenever she stayed over Lena usually found herself waking up hours before the reporter.
As she looked downwards, Lena could see blonde's eyes were still shut.
Kara was still fast asleep, however, she continued to grumble and almost whimper in her sleep, shifting around and pulling herself practically on top of Lena's chest as her face began to show the tell-tale signs of fear. It was then that Lena realised that Kara was dreaming, and whatever she was dreaming about was causing her to become fearful.
It was clear to see Kara was not dreaming about puppies and rainbows right now.
She was having a nightmare.
Quickly wrapping both her arms around Kara, Lena squeezed her tightly as she remembered that Kara needed the pressure to be tight for her to feel it.
Kara continued to whimper in her sleep, her face finding it's way into the crook of Lena's neck as the muscles in her back became taunt and twitched with every noise she made.
Lena frowned as she began to rub her one hand firmly up and down Kara's back, keeping her other arm wrapped tightly around the small of her back. She waited a few minutes, holding Kara close and rubbing her back while shushing her softly, hoping it would be enough to calm her dreams so she could continue to sleep for a while longer.
The whole time Kara continued to whimper, her breaths coming out in shuddering panicked pants as her body continued to twitch and tremble.
Lena was about to wake Kara, not being able to bare witnessing the girl she loved so deeply suffer through such fear- when suddenly, with one last shuddering breath, Kara quietened. The whimpers stopped, and her panicked breathing evened out as her body now turned into a dead weight as she lay completely on top of Lena.
Even though Kara had quietened, and her breathing had calmed, Lena continued to caress her back soothingly, kissing the side of her head softly as she felt Kara's muscles relax under her hands. Lena closed her eyes, dropping another kiss to the side of Kara's head before resting her cheek against blonde hair as she allowed the warmth of Kara's body pressed against her own lull her back to sleep.
A few more hours of sleep won't hurt them, and currently with the way that Kara was laying on top of her, she knew she wasn't going to be going anywhere anytime soon- not that she really wanted to anyway.
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Winn skidded down the hallway as he rushed into the DEO, he had already missed one day of work yesterday and knew that being late on a second day would only make him appear worse. Sighing in relief as he entered the hub not seeing J'onn in the building yet, he slumped down into his chair and let his tense shoulders relax.
"Agent Schott," J'onn called from the floor above, making Winn jump and whirl around on his chair with a hand close to his chest in fright, "a word please," J'onn continued, already walking away to his office.
Winn frowned as he stood from his chair, hoping that J'onn would be understanding. He hadn't missed work before and he liked this job- he really didn't want to be fired.
With his head down, Winn walked up the stairs and made his way slowly towards J'onn's office. He knocked once before entering the office quietly, closing the door behind him before shuffling his way over to the table in the room and taking a seat opposite J'onn.
J'onn didn't speak, he only looked at Winn.
Gulping slightly, Winn swallowed nervously, "I want to apologise for not coming in yesterday and for not contacting anyone of my whereabouts," he began slowly. "I know I should have, but I just- with everything that had happened on Monday and then Tuesday night, I wanted to check on Kara- I wanted to clear the air with her and make sure she was okay."
There was a pause as J'onn continued to look at Winn.
Winn was expecting him to ask about what happened Tuesday night, he was expecting to be told it was not an excuse to miss work, he was expecting to receive a lecture.
"I see," J'onn said, "and how is Kara?" he asked, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back slightly in his chair.
Winn wasn't expecting that- though maybe he should have.
He knew that J'onn liked to show a tough exterior, but underneath it he cared a great deal.
Winn sighed, looking down, "She's- she's really hurt," he admitted, "more than I think any of us realised," he continued shamefully.
We should have realised, us not realising is half the problem. Myself not realising is why she thinks I don't care anymore, Winn thought to himself, becoming angry with his cluelessness of the situation before his visit to Midvale.
J'onn nodded, "I had a feeling she was, this has been building for a while- while I try not to meddle in work relationships here at the DEO, I had tried to speak to both you and Alex about this before," J'onn continued seriously a frown in place.
He wanted to question the junior agent about why Tuesday night had been a concerning factor in making him want to check on Kara. J'onn knew that Kara had planned to call Alex and explain why she was leaving, he now feared that the call may not have gone as well as he had hoped it would have- for either of them.
J'onn knew that Alex could be hot headed at times- to put it lightly- especially when it came to anything concerning Kara.
At times Alex could be far too quick to judge and would come down too hard on the young superhero, while Kara herself would take the things that were said to her out of anger, and frustration, or sometimes even fear to heart.
In the time J'onn had worked with Alex it was clear to see that on some level Alex still held a small amount of resentment for her life being uprooted when she had gained a new alien little sister. Though Alex may not mean to do so, sometimes she would take that resentment out on Kara without realising what she was doing with the things that she said.
The problem was that afterward Alex would bury her feelings, and so would Kara.
"I know- I just didn't realise what you were meaning at the time," Winn answered honestly, regaining J'onn's attention, "she thinks that we don't care about her anymore- she thinks we only see Supergirl and not Kara," Winn recalled sadly.
That was the part that had made him feel the worst. When Kara had alluded to her thoughts that she did not believe that they cared about her anymore.
J'onn's eyes widened at the revelation.
While he had been able to see that Kara was struggling and she was hurting and had tried to help the best he could without becoming to interfering- he had no idea it had gotten bad enough for her feelings to run so deep and for her feeling of self-worth within their group to be so compromised.
Sighing deeply, J'onn took a moment to collect his thoughts. "Well it seems like we have a lot of ground to make up- all of us," he said, feeling bad that he had not made more of an effort to step in when he noticed that Kara had been acting more withdrawn and less like herself. "While I would prefer that these types of situations," J'onn began carefully, "are sorted outside of working hours- I think you did the right thing taking the initiative to go and see Kara," he continued after noticing how devastated Winn looked.
"I am sure that will have gone a long way in reassuring her that you do care," J'onn told Winn truthfully, before sighing. "It seems the rest of us could learn to take a page or two from your book in this matter," J'onn continued appraisingly. Standing from his seat J'onn offered the junior agent a small smile, "I only ask that you try to let us know of your whereabouts in future, for if this was to happen again," he finished, before dismissing Winn with a nod in the direction of the door.
Nodding with a thankful smile, Winn stood from his seat and made his way to the door.
As he stepped outside, clicking the door shut quietly behind himself, he let out a sigh- that had gone a lot better than he had expected.
Pushing off from the door he had been leaning against, Winn walked to the staircase intending to make his way backdown to his desk before stopping suddenly. He frowned as he noticed Alex stood by his desk, smiling at him with a small wave as though everything was fine.
He found himself feeling angry at how she didn't seem to look affected at all by what had happened. Though as he thought about it, she probably didn't even realise anything was wrong- just like he hadn't at first.
He doubted Alex had any idea how hurt Kara really was, and how much her words had probably made her younger sister even more sure that people only cared about Supergirl- and not her.
Huffing slightly, Winn turned and walked the other way.
He couldn't deal with Alex right now, he knew he would have to soon- but for today, as childish as it seemed, he didn't want to talk to her.
The conversation he planned to have with Alex was not one that should be carried out in the work place- no matter how angry he was with her for what she had said to Kara on Tuesday night.
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When Lena woke two hours later her mouth felt dry, in fact as the sleep cleared from her mind she realised she felt warm all over.
It was as though she was sleeping next to a fire.
As she become clearer of her surroundings Lena realised why- Kara had moved around more while they were both sleeping. She had wrapped herself even closer and had ended up laying on Lena much like a koala bear. Her arms and legs were draped over the side of her new Lena shaped mattress and her head was tucked under the CEO's chin as she slept peacefully. Krypto was still tucked under her one arm, causing him to be squashed between both Kara and Lena's chests. Lena herself still had one arm around the reporter's back, her hand laying softly against Kara's one shoulder blade, but as she realised where her other hand was laying her eyes widened in shock.
Lena flexed her hand slightly to make sure she was correct in her assumption, gently squeezing soft flesh as she did which made Kara groan slightly. The noise caused Lena to whip her hand away quickly, and stare at the offending body part accusingly. She had been asleep, so surely her hand had grown a mind of its own and done this on by itself, right?
Lena found herself blushing as she realised that her hand had been on Kara's ass.
The blush only growing more as it dawned on her that she had just squeezed her best friend's butt- though in all honesty the feeling of doing so wasn't unpleasant.
She had always admired the way the pants that Kara wore hugged her hips and showed off her backside beautifully. That admiration though, did nothing to stop the embarrassment she was now feeling, and though the situation was not funny- at all- she couldn't help the smile that came to her face when she realised that she was apparently just as bad as Kara when it came to accidently groping friends while they slept.
Where Kara it seemed was a boob kind of girl, it appeared she was a butt kind of girl.
Almost as though Kara could feel her embarrassment, the blonde began to shift, moaning slightly as she woke up. Lena stayed still as Kara moved around on top of her a little bit before lifting her head and looking at her with a confused look on her face.
As Kara took in her surroundings and realised she was laying on top of her best friend, using Lena like a matrass, her eyes widen in surprise. With a squeak that Lena found far too adorable, Kara quickly scurried off her chest and moved herself back down on to the bed, a bright red blush colouring her face causing Lena to chuckle.
Lena thought she had blushed hard just then as she felt the heat in her cheeks after realising where her hand was- it appeared though that Kara still beat her in the brightest blush department. Lena couldn't help but feel a little smug that she had got away with the positioning of her hand and that Kara now seemed too embarrassed about her sleeping position to even question where Lena's hand had been- if she had known that is.
"I know I said I didn't mind being your pillow- but I think I draw the line at a mattress," Lena teased lightly, turning her head to the side to meet Kara's eyes. She found she couldn't though as Kara was hiding her face behind her hands, Krypto near her on the bed. "Darling, are you okay?" Lena prompted.
Still nothing.
"I was joking- please don't be embarrassed- you have nothing to be embarrassed about," Lena said quickly. Unlike my uncooperating ass grabbing hand, she added as an afterthought in her mind.
She found herself instantly feeling bad for her teasing as she realised just how embarrassed Kara was. She had thought they had turned a corner yesterday morning regarding this when Kara had seemed more at ease waking up cuddled up to her in Midvale- it appeared they hadn't quite yet.
"I think you were having a nightmare earlier, you looked distressed, so I wrapped my arm around you to try and comfort you and you moved closer. You must have done so again when I fell asleep," Lena explained as she rolled over onto her side, "Kara, will you look at me, please?" she asked, taking Kara's hands in her own and gently tugging them down from her face.
They looked at each other for a moment after Kara had let Lena move her hands away, both staying silent. Kara looked over Lena carefully, while Lena looked back at her in concern at the frown she could see on her best friend's face.
"Did I hurt you?" Kara asked quietly, almost shamefully after a silence.
Lena frowned, confused by the question. "No. I got a little hot," and bothered… Lena thought to herself, "but you didn't hurt me, or crush me, or anything like that," Lena assured quickly.
Kara nodded, the crinkle making its appearance on her face as she looked deep in thought, "You're sure I didn't hurt you?" Kara asked again, "I don't have control of my powers while sleeping, sometimes I can float or grab onto things too hard," she admitted swallowing as she looked down.
"You didn't hurt me- if you had grabbed me too tight I would have woken you up," Lena assured her further, watching Kara's face carefully before continuing, "has this happened in the past?"
Kara nodded glancing back up before looking away again, "Sometimes I have dreams about what happened to my home and its like I'm back there again in my pod, spinning around into space as Krypton explodes all around me," Kara said truthfully, frowning as she spoke about the dreams she had more often than she let on to anybody if she was being truthful. "One night, a few years after the Danvers adopted me, I woke up to screaming…I thought it was me screaming- but it was Alex. I'd been squeezing her so tightly I had broken three of her ribs. She couldn't move away from me because I was clamped around her," Kara explained shamefully, "I just- when I woke up and was that close to you and you said it looked like I was having a bad dream, I got scared I had hurt you- I don't ever want to hurt you."
Lena shuffled down on the bed slightly, moving so her face was only inches from Kara's own and softly laid a hand on Kara's side, her thumb rubbing up and down absentmindedly, "You didn't hurt me, I promise," Lena told her, "and you won't- I trust you Kara."
Kara stared past Lena's eyes deep in thought, playing with Krypto's ears, "Alex trusted me too, that didn't help her," Kara replied quietly after a moment.
"That was a long time ago Kara, you have probably grown into your powers a lot more than what you had back then," Lena said encouragingly, "I trust you," she repeated, "I know you won't hurt me- I think you need to learn to trust in yourself more," Lena said softly but firmly.
Lifting her hand from Kara's side, Lena gently brushed away a strand of blonde hair before cupping the reporter's cheek, she smiled as Kara's eyes snapped back to her own at the contact.
Lena used her thumb to gently trace the crinkle that was still present on Kara's face, "Put that crinkle away, you're meant to be relaxing Miss Danvers."
Kara smiled at the comment, "I am- relaxed that is, I'm just a little worried as well," Kara replied honestly, maintaining eye contact.
Lena smiled, returning her hand to Kara's side again, squeezing gently, "You don't need to worry. Not with me, okay?" Lena said softly, earning a nod from Kara after a moment. "Was it Krypton you were dreaming about this morning?" Lena wondered out loud, asking even though she knew Kara may not remember.
Kara shrugged lightly, "Probably," she replied, "whatever you did must have stopped it from making me panic too much otherwise I would usually wake up," she admitted.
Lena felt her heart swell in pride at hearing that.
As horrible as it was for Kara to be plagued with nightmares from the memories of her home exploding, knowing that she had manged to help Kara sleep through the nightmare and kept her calm enough to stop her from waking in a panic was a great feeling.
Kara deserved to feel the level of safety and security herself that she managed to bring to so many people daily by being Supergirl. She deserved to have a person to cling to when things got scary and upsetting, and Lena was more than happy to be that person for her in any way, shape, or form.
Lena was pulled from her thoughts by a loud growling noise that made her burst out laughing as Kara coughed lightly, blushing.
"Hungry?" Lena asked in amusement.
Kara didn't manage to respond before her stomach, which growled again- even louder than before.
Blushing harder, Kara nodded her head in answer to the questioning look she received from Lena before laughing herself as her stomach grumbled more.
"Do you have a lion in there?" Lena asked, causing Kara to laugh in amusement at the question, "No seriously, I think your stomach just roared," Lena teased lightly.
Kara only laughed harder rolling over onto her back pulling Krypto with her, "That's just the warning noises, you don't want to know the noises my stomach can make when I don't eat," Kara replied, turning her head to look back at Lena, a relaxed look on her face as she smiled sheepishly.
"Hmmm," Lena responded, resting her elbow on the bed to hold her head up on her hand, "I suppose it would be cruel to withhold food from you in order to find out," she continued earning a pout from Kara at the suggestion of withholding food.
Kara's stomach only growled louder again in response, causing Lena to laugh once again as Kara looked at her sheepishly, "Can we have pancakes?" Kara asked, "Please?" She added with a cheesy grin.
Lena chuckled. "Yes, we can have pancakes- for you, we can always have pancakes," she agreed lifting herself up from the bed, "I better go make them before your stomach eats me," she teased as she made her way to the bedroom door.
Before leaving she could hear Kara say, "We wouldn't eat Lena, that's just silly, right?"
Whirling around with a look of amusement on her face, Lena found Kara still in bed rubbing her stomach.
"Did you talk to your stomach?" Lena asked incredulously, giving Kara a knowing look.
Kara blushed. "N-no," she stuttered, "I was talking to Krypto."
Lena only continued to watch Kara.
Her one eyebrow raising, the smile on her face turning into a smirk as Kara blushed under her gaze.
Shaking her head with a fond smile, Lena turned and left the room "Come on, you big goof- let's get you fed!" she called her over her shoulder as Kara scrambled out of the bed to follow after her.
