Chapter 7: Information

I fell asleep soon after that. An alarm woke us both up the next day, and we got ready as soon as physically possible, as we thought we were late. The Conductor did NOT seem like the type of person you'd wanna keep waiting.

After we finished getting ready, we bolted for the Machine Room and I looked through the telescope, and focused on the Owl Express. A few seconds later, I landed at the caboose. There wasn't enough room to move out of the way, so I put my hands up and the kid landed on them. I let her down to the ground. I checked the time. We were super early.

"I feel like you were trying to land on me there," I told her. She scratched her head and gave me a nonchalant smile.

The Conductor cleared his throat and looked at the little girl. "Welcome back, lassie! I haven't written the script for me next movie yet, so we're not recordin'. I'll call for ye and yer friend when the script's ready."

When we entered the train, we were stopped instantly by a tall, strange looking crow. He looked extremely shady.

"Why, hello, fellow owl," He said, looking down at Hat Kid. "I don't believe we've had the pleasure of meeting. As you can tell, I am also an Express Owl. I do much hooting."

She nodded slowly, not buying it. Definitely a smart kid.

"From one owl to another, we can share details, yes? What is your uncle's sister's maiden name?" He asked. Gee, that's not sketchy at all. She gave me a surprised and lost look.

"Don't say anything true, kid," I whispered to her, and she nodded.

"Pi," She said, and the crow nodded.

"Oh, it is Pi? I see, I see. This is the kind of uncle's sister's maiden name I would expect from a fellow Express Owl," He muttered, then walked away.

"Did he actually buy that?" She snickered.

"I think he did. Wanna tell more crows stupid fake details?" I asked, and she nodded. I noticed that she was speaking to me more and more. That must mean she trusts me now. Good. Let's just hope it stays that way.

She walked over to another crow and waved at them.

"Hello, fellow Express Owl. Do you care about security? I care about security a whole lot," He said.

"Oh, I bet you do," I grumbled. He either didn't hear me or ignored me.

"You should not be going around telling information to strangers. It could be a security risk!" He warned. How ironic. "I can help your daily life become more secure. What is your favourite combination of letters and numbers?"

"Say something random, kid," I whispered to her.

"12345" She said.

"I see, I see. 12345 is also my favourite combination of (no) letters and numbers," He muttered. We walked over to the door, but were stopped by a third crow.

"Did you know that having a pet helps improve self-confidence and relieves stress?" He asked, and we both nodded. "Did you know that pets can have pets? It is true!" He exclaimed.

"Mhm, sure," I grumbled.

"Unfortunately, us Express Owls are not allowed to have pets. It is a sacrifice we must make in the name of hooting," He explained sadly, "But, if you had a pet, what do you think the name of your pet's childhood pet would be?"

"Peck," She said, which made me smirk. Judging by how the Conductor used that word, it was probably a derogatory word, maybe even a curse.

"Peck is certainly an interesting name for a pet, even for a pet's pet," The crow muttered, and we continued into the next train car.

We walked in front of a blackboard and were confronted by yet another crow.

"Hello, fellow Express Owl. I am stuck on an advanced scientific and mathematical issue," He greeted, "Do you see this advanced formula on the blackboard? I cannot decipher it. Can you decipher it for me? What does it say?"

I looked at it and facepalmed. It looked like something off of an online registration form.

"DCB4ILOSE," She grumbled.

"I see! The solution is DCB4ILOSE! It was obvious! Thank you, fellow Express Owl!" He thanked, "And thank you for agreeing to the terms and conditions on the backside of the blackboard."

Hearing this, I frowned and peeked over. The entire backside had so much text written on it that it was practically illegible.

"Hold on a minute, she agreed to nothing!" I shouted, but the crow just ignored me. "I've got my eye on you, spook. You do anything, I'll know, and you'll regret it." I threatened, but was ignored again. "Let's continue," I grumbled.

After that, we decided it'd be best to avoid all crows. The next car was the cafeteria, and after that was the locomotive.

"Well, seeing as we have some time to kill, I'm gonna go do my own thing," I told her, and she nodded.

So, I did just that. I messed around and did random things until I came back into the cafeteria. The kid was holding a key and motioned for me to follow her, so I did. She opened the lock to the locomotive, breaking the lock, and we entered.

There was a gift box laid... rather conspicuously. She ran forward to it and read the tag, and motioned for me to read it.

'For the hat kid and her tall companion'

Weird. We didn't know anyone on this train, except the Conductor (hardly). Who would be giving us a gift?

"I'll open it, kiddo. Stand back, just in case," I said, and she did so. I opened it, and inside was a crime solving outfit for her, and a matching pitch-black fedora and leather trench coat. I smirked and donned them, and tossed the outfit to the kid, who donned her outfit as well.

After that, an eery jingle pierced the locomotive, and I looked over to see an old phone making the noise. I picked up the phone, because no one came in.

"Who is this?" I asked.

"Is this the kid's friend?" The person on the other end asked. They were clearly using a voice modulator, so I couldn' tell who it was.

"Yes, it's me, Mr. Mega," I said.

"Let me speak with the kid," They said, and I looked over at the kid.

"Hey, kid, it's for you," I said, and she gave me a confused look. I shrugged my shoulders, and she took the phone. I listened in.

"Is this the kid with the hat?" They asked.

"Who's asking?" She asked.

"I hope you two like my presents, heh," The voice said menacingly, "Go to the back of the train. Your uncle's sister Pi has come to see you."

The back of the train?...

Well, now.

"Uncle's sister?" She said in a tone that clearly told the voice she wasn't buying it.

"You'd better show your fam' some love, or I'll be talking to a corpse next time," The voice hissed, then hung up. She slowly hung up the phone and looked at me. I could tell instantly that she was frightened.

"I heard it all, kid. Don't worry, nothing's gonna hurt you, not with me around," I reassured, and she calmed down. "Let's go to the back of the train. I'm curious who's showed up."

I had a bad feeling about this. We made our way to the caboose and she opened the door. I heard her scream at the top of her lungs, and I bolted through the door, ready to whack someone unconscious.

I walked in on the scene of a murder. A wooden cutout of an old lady was standing in front of a dead Express Owl with a knife stuck through his back. Blood was everywhere. The kid was looking at it all, and she was shaking uncontrollably.

I got between her and the scene and put my hand on her shoulder.

"Deep breaths kid, I'm here. I'm here. There's nothing to be afraid of. I'm here," I cooed, and she eventually calmed down.

I could hear the Conductor walk in from out back.

"Eh? What's goin' on-" He grumbled, then gasped at the scene. "A-a-a-a-a MURDER?! On MY Owl Express?!" He shouted.

"It seems so," I grumbled,

People began piling into the train car, and began talking amongst themselves about what they saw. Conductor was looking straight at the kid.

"I can't believe someone would murder one of the Express Owls!" He exclaimed, "And I can't believe even more that it's your uncle's sister Pi!"

He then turned and stared at the cutout. "What do ye have to say for yerself, Pi?!" He hissed, but obviously, no response came. "Oh, yer givin' me the quiet treatment, eh? That's what a murderer would do!"

I facepalmed and grunted loudly. "Conductor, it's a wooden cutout, you idiot!" I hissed, and he stood back.

"Oh, really?" He said quietly, clearly embarrassed. "But then, who did it?! Surely not y-"

"Leave this case to us."

We turned to see the crows observing the scene, some taking notes. "We're C.A.W., the Crow Agent Watch. We've been monitoring everyone on this train since the last station," The crow at the front explained.

"So, that's what the questions were for?" I asked.

"Indeed. We'll be searching the train for evidence. No one is allowed to go outside of this wagon," The crow stated.

"WHAT?! I can't even walk around in me own train? Oh, how dare ye!" Conductor hissed. The crow didn't seem to care.

"Once the clock hits midnight, we'll get off at the station with the murderer in cuffs," He explained.

"Good," I said.

"Stay here while we investigate further," The crow demanded, then they all piled out.

"Oh, those C.A.W. peck necks can't tell me what to do! I bet they committed the murder, and are destroying the evidence!" Conductor shouted.

"Perhaps. Or, maybe it was someone else. Why would federal spies or detectives murder someone?" I asked.

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, if you're so suspicious of them, we'll go find some evidence ourselves," I said, and he nodded.

"That's a good idea! But what if ye did it? Ye and the lass were the first people at the scene," He countered.

"Better to have two points of view than just one," I said.

"Fair enough. Get outta here," He said, and we exited into the other train car.

Time to solve a murder.