Author's note: all right, its Derek's turn this time hee needed to make him sweat just a bit. Thank you once again to everyone who reviewed, alerted and favorited this story it means a lot to me. Now on with the show.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Derek

Got to get back to a reason
Got to get back to a reason I once knew
And this late in the seasons
One by one distractions fade from view
The only reason I have left is
You

Trans-Siberian Orchestra

The lost Christmas Eve Album

He caught a glimpse of green through his open door and knew that Penelope had returned from her lunch. His heart ached with sadness at the thought of not spending Christmas with each other. He missed her like no other woman with the exception of his mother and sisters. But then she did have Lynch for that. Shaking his head, Derek tried to go back to work, but something had him pulling the photograph she'd given him not even two months ago out and studying the woman who's picture was held behind glass.

"How did we get so far apart," he mused sad eyes tracing her features.

Hearing footsteps he looked up just at the right time to see her pass by, curiosity getting the better of him and making him fall in her footstep albeit a bit quieter. He watched the gentle sway of her hips, the way she cut through making a path for herself without even realizing that she had someone following her. He knew it was dangerous to interfere in her life. She'd skin him alive then destroy his credit and anything else she could and would do to ensure his existence electronically anyway would be no more. But she left him no other option. She wouldn't talk to him unless it was work related. Wouldn't flirt with him even when he'd tried his damnest to get some kind of response from her.

He knew the silence she presented him with was his fault. If he'd just taken her advice and let things go with Tamara. However, that was the past and he was willing to say sorry every chance he could get if she'd just let him. Emily's words came back to bite him on the ass, he'd been a jerk to his best friend pushed her side for someone who in the end hadn't needed him as much as he thought. But if he'd be truthful with himself the real reason he'd chosen Tamara was simply because she didn't remind him of Penelope the one woman he wanted above all, but couldn't have.

Shaking the thoughts out of his head he watched her go into Rossi's office. A puzzled expression passing over his face, so he waited grabbed another cup of coffee and remained facing that one door, regardless of the looks he got. He felt something wasn't right with his baby girl though he couldn't put a finger on it.

Moments later she emerged a bright smile lighting her features, one that he realized he hadn't seen in a long time.

Taking the step he needed to block her path, "Everything all right baby girl?"

Penelope stopped short of colliding with him and turned her eyes to his, "Just fine Morgan."

He winced at the use of his last name and longed for the days when she'd call him hot stuff and her chocolate Adonis. He wondered if those days were truly over with.

"Can we talk?" he asked taking her hand in his hoping for some kind of positive reaction, unfortunately he got the negative when she pulled her hand from his.

"So talk," she responded wincing internally at the sharpness to her tone.

"Not here we need privacy," he answered seeing her walls up around her closing him out.

"If it has nothing to do with work Agent Morgan I have nothing more to say to you," she spat then regretted her words when she saw him flinch as of she'd slapped him.

"I deserve that I know but you don't have to be so damn stubborn and not hear me out," he gouged a sharpness entering his voice.

Astonishment shone in her eyes as she looked him up and down, "What right do you have to say that I'm stubborn it was you who pushed me away not the other way around," she said anger filling her voice. She knew better than to lead by emotion, but he did this to her, made her feel way too much for him, made her ache to touch him and sooth his wounded soul. She couldn't go back that way to much pain lay in that direction.

He paused letting her words sink in, before hissing, "I didn't fall into bed with another man after one man told you that he loved you and meant it. So in reality you pushed me away first when you decided you wanted Lynch instead and you know what I'm done. Have a nice life Garcia," and he walked away leaving her rooted to the spot.

He missed the heart broken look in her eyes and the sag in her shoulders as she finally turned to take the long way back to her office not even stopping when JJ and Emily tried to get her to talk.

He didn't even realize someone was following him this time, he just stormed into his office grabbed the picture and was about to fling it across the room when a voice called out, "Don't you even thinking about it Derek Morgan."

He looked up expecting to see JJ or Emily, but instead getting Reid's brown eyes flashing with anger, staring at him, "So what if I do. She doesn't care."

"You really are blind and stupid aren't you Morgan," Reid said hobbling into his office.

"Now is not the time to pick a fight Reid. Spit out what you have to say and leave I've got work to do."

"Lynch is gone has been for almost a week now, right after Haley's funeral. But you've had your head up your ass all this time. You didn't even bother to check in with the one person that was suppose to be your best friend," Reid answered a poignant look entering his eyes.

Morgan's head snapped up, how much had he really missed, "It doesn't change anything between us even if she isn't with him. She clearly doesn't even want to try a friendship with me."

Reid could hear the under laying pain that filled his voice and clouded his eyes and his heart went out to him, though he stuck by Penelope first. "Have you ever thought that she's hurting just as much as you are? You pushed her aside when you entertained Tamara Barnes, regardless of the advice she'd given you. So she got with Lynch, but you dropped the ball on that one to, you didn't fight for her."

"Is it always going to be my fault," Derek growled pain racing through his heart.

"No it's not all you either Derek. Penelope…" Reid tailed off entering into uncharted territory. "She's afraid."

"Afraid of what?" Derek asked wondering when boy genius had become an expert on Penelope.

"Of you," Reid answered before hobbling back out the door, leaving Derek with his thoughts.

"Of course leave me hanging Reid, I don't need any damn answers to this at all," Derek said sarcasms dripping from his voice. He gripped the photo of Penelope again his heart aching for her in away he never thought it would for any woman. Without much thought he pulled the bottom draw open and slipped the frame inside.

Despite everything Reid had said, he figured it was time to move on. The true question of course is would he be able to let her go.

Five o'clock rolled around and passed, even though he wasn't acting unit chef anymore Derek still put in the extra hours, to help Hotch out with paperwork so he could get home to his son all the quicker. Ten minutes after six he heard the click clack of heels on the linoleum, but he refused to look up, refused to give into what his heart wanted.

Time seemed to pass by quickly and before he knew it eight thirty rolled around. Stretching the kinks out of his back he began to close files, turn the computer off and get ready to leave for the night. Thinking a cold beer would help ease some of the ache in his chest Derek left the Bureau building, jumped into his truck and headed towards Sullies. Maybe some unknown unnamed woman could help him forget. Of course who was he kidding, Tamara Barnes hadn't even helped him forget about Penelope.

Taking a seat at the bar he ignored everyone around him in favor of drowning his sorrows in the alcohol.

"Tough day?" the gravely voice bartender asked wiping the wood in front of Morgan.

"You could say that," Derek responded taking another long pull from his bottle.

"Alcohol never solves women troubles buddy. I've seen it one to many times," he advised walking away.

He had a point but Morgan didn't care. He was beyond that point now.

Twenty minutes later another voice spoke, "You know it's not good to drink alone.

Derek turned to look at who had decided to interrupt his pity party. "What do you want Rossi?"

"A cold beer, good peanuts and to kick your ass," Rossi answered taking the seat next to him motioning towards the bartender.

"Not in the mood for your sarcasm Rossi get to the point," Derek hissed attention back on his own beer.

"Why when we have all night," Rossi returned enjoying getting the unflappable Derek Morgan riled up.

"Rossi," he warned glairing at the older man.

Instead of listening, David just took a long pull from his beer and grabbed a hand full of nuts, ignoring him in favor of watching the crowd behind him through the mirror.

Fifteen minutes and two turned down propositions later Rossi finally asked, "What did you say to her?"

"Now you speak."

Rossi sighed and looked towards the ceiling asking for help with one so stubborn. "What did you say to her?" he repeated not budging in the least bit.

"It's none of you business what I say to Garcia. That's between her and me," Derek growled.

"Wrong, not when it is affecting the team that makes it my business Morgan, now I'll ask again, what did you say to her."

Running a hand over his bald head Derek let out a breath, "I asked her if we could talk."

"And?"

"She turned me down not wanting to be anything but professional."

"You deserve that," he commented waiting for Morgan to go on.

Derek ignored the comment and continues, "She said I pushed her way that I had no right."

"She's right you did."

This time anger got the better of him, "Am I always going to be the bad guy here. She pushed first when she let Lynch into her life."

"She may have held back a bit after she got with Lynch, but she didn't out right push you away she was always still there for you. But you when you disregarded her advise in favor of something that wasn't right you pushed her farther away then she ever did."

"Does everyone know about that? Is it so transparent?" Derek said aggravated by the whole discussion.

"Not everyone, but you forget we are profilers Derek we know things and after that case with Tamara Barnes's brother you two seemed to pull apart even farther. Then you received the promotion in Hotch's stead and you all but dropped out of her life, forgetting that she was even your best friend."

"What was I suppose to do I had Strauss breathing down my neck making sure everything was in order and professional. How was I to explain to her that we couldn't flirt because it would look inappropriate while I was acting unit chef?"

"Did you ever think that maybe if you'd explain things to her she'd understand and even back you up. Garcia is a smart woman, give her some credit," Rossi answered glancing at Derek trying to figure out how to make him see.

Derek questioned why he didn't take that route, why'd he let the best five years of his life float down the drain. It hit him then, because she wasn't his anymore, but someone else's and never would be his. Something from what Reid had said came back to him, she's single now a free woman no Lynch in the way only his stubborn pride keeping him from telling her what really mattered to him.

Rossi could see the indecision on his face and tried to push him in the right direction, "Emma had been the love of my life and I let her slip away. I let my job be the driving force in my life pushing the only good thing I had out and away from me. The one regret I'll never be able to change. Don't make that mistake Morgan you'll turn into a bitter old man with nothing to look forward to."

Derek glanced over at the ageing profiler wondering why. However he never got to ask the question, because Rossi took the last drink of his beer stood, laid a ten down and turned to face him.

"Noon tomorrow Hotch's place don't be late or I'll skin you alive," and he was gone.

Leaving Derek with a whole mess of things to think about, yet he knew better than to try anything tonight more than likely the girls where there giving his baby girl the support he should be. They'd skin him alive and leave him to hang out to dry. He knew he deserved what ever they'd dish out, but his pride had kept him from grabbing the one thing he cherished the most in life. Not anymore, Rossi had been right he didn't want nothing to look forward to in his advanced age. He wanted his baby girl back foreve