Hi guys! So this chapter took a LOT of writing and rewriting before I got it to what I wanted it to be. Which partially explains the extensive time period between updates. But also, I'm busy. Sorry!
Anyways, I've gotten some reviews saying people would want to check my chapters for spelling errors and whatever, to which I say, totally! If you're actually serious about this, message me. I'm pretty new to FF, and I don't really know how betas and the like work... So let me know! I hope you guys like the next chapter!
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The Unexpected Stage:
Lily walked through the halls quietly, as if afraid to make noise. She didn't want to dwell on what she'd just seen, or how completely odd it was, but she couldn't help it. The main reason she was upset however, was because she knew she was chickening out. Again. She could've just waited till James was done and talked to him, she could've asked the two what they were up to, or she could've at least told Dorcas, her best friend, that she fancied James for weeks and maybe this whole debacle could've been avoided. Not that there was a definite debacle... But Dorcas hated James! Lily remembered all the times they used to go on tirades about him together before this year. As far as she knew, her friend's sentiments on Potter hadn't changed. But if they hadn't changed, why would she be having a civil, borderline friendly conversation? And why would she let James hug her?
"Fuck me." She muttered in frustration.
"Now that's a rather rude suggestion." An old wizard in the portrait next to her grumbled.
Lily bit back an angry retort. Stewing on it was getting her nowhere. Really what she needed was to find Dorcas ask her about everything, and hope that her worst fears aren't confirmed. Even if Dorcas revealed that James wasn't interested, (Lily didn't even want to think about that, but it was becoming a very real possibility), Lily would deal. She'd be honest with her friend, and, no matter how painful or awkward it could be, with James. No more secrets, no more dancing around her feelings. Lily was done.
She got into the Common Room, preparing to go straight to the girls' dorm to wait for Dorcas, when her plans were derailed. Her ears were assaulted with a slamming bass beat, and she was greeted with the overpowering scent of alcohol as soon she stepped through the portrait hole. Blinking, Lily took in the havoc around her. Clusters of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs milled about. All of the sofas were pushed to the side of the room, creating a dance floor in the center. Tables were set up next to the staircases, laden with firewhiskey and elvish wine. And an honest-to-Merlin barrel of butterbeer was sitting next to them. It was a party. A big one.
"Let me guess who's responsible for this." Lily muttered sarcastically, walking through throngs of people. She found the culprit in the middle of the floor, shirtless and dancing with mad abandon: Sirius Black.
"Evans!" He roared, taking her in and spinning her. He was uncoordinated, meaning probably drunk, meaning Lily basically had to hold him up as he spun her in a lazy circle.
"Leave it to you to turn a Gryffindor loss into a party." She shouted in reply, as the music was deafening.
Sirius grinned sloppily and said something indiscernible. He then dropped to the floor, trying to do some form of The Worm, and completely failing. Lily giggled through her hand and made herself comfortable on one of the sofas. It would be a while before this party died down.
Lily decided to wait in the Common Room for Dorcas, as it was unlikely she'd go straight up to the dorm with all this activity. She watched from her perch as the drunken melee continued, hoping no one would get too crazy and she'd have to intervene. She wondered why the Hufflepuffs came instead of having their own party, though little hard feelings seemed to be shared from either team. Peter made a bit of small talk with her, before Sirius dragged him off to chat with some girls ("I'm serious ladies he is the long lost decedent of Merlin!") Alice was there, but she seemed, er, busy. Lily didn't even get a chance to chat at all, the girl was practically glued by the lips to Frank. She didn't see Em or Marlene, but really Lily was waiting for one person...
The portrait hole swung open. It was Dorcas, who was taking in the party. To Lily's confusion, she seemed to grow angrier at the crowd. Dorcas didn't necessarily like people, but she never seemed to mind parties in the past...
"Evans." A curt greeting emitted behind her, startling her out of her thoughts. Lily swung around to see, much to her surprise, Regulus Black. What's Sirius's brother doing here? She wondered. Behind him was a small group of underclassmen Slytherins, looking as if this was the first party they've ever been to.
"Alright, Regulus?" She greeted, still a bit confused. Sure, Regulus made prefect this year and she'd talk to him once and a while at meetings, but their relationship was very formal.
"My idiot brother wanted me to give you this." He said with a bit of disdain, holding up a bottle of butterbeer.
For a second, Lily frowned. She'd thought Sirius and his brother didn't get on very well. Although, her and Petunia sure didn't get along, and sometimes she still at least tried with her sister. Maybe the brothers were attempting to mend fences. She looked at Regulus and smiled.
"Of course Sirius wants me to drink." Lily joked, taking the bottle from Regulus's grasp. Regulus mumbled something along the lines of see you later and headed back to his little group. She pondered for a second about him, before she spotted a head of short brown curls bobbing through the crowd.
"Dorcas!" She called. Her friend was now regarding Black and his gaggle of girls with a face akin to if she'd just stepped in dog poo.
"Not in the mood." Dorcas snapped, probably thinking Lily was another drunken idiot. Lily fought through the crowd and grabbed her friend's arm. Dorcas turned around, a snarl on her face.
"Take your hand off or I'll break i- oh. It's you."
Lily nodded and smiled hesitantly. Though she had no reason to be, Lily was suddenly afraid that Dorcas was angry with her.
"Can we talk?" She asked, jerking her head towards the portrait hole. Dorcas's face was rigid, but she nodded. Lily led her friend with purpose towards the door, not even bothering to snap at a wildly dancing Dennis Kettleburn when she had several toes stepped on. Normally, Lily would probably be happy to stay at the party, watching over it to make sure no one got too crazy, and reveling in the sight of Dorcas trying to outdrink the boys. And normally Em would be around too, which was a bit odd that she wasn't... Lily couldn't think of any of this till after she talked to Dorcas. However, the one person who could derail her intentions had just blocked Lily's way out of the door.
And he wasn't wearing a shirt. Of course it was probably because his chest was all bandaged up, and he didn't want to further irritate his wound... But come on! It was like he was trying to torture her. Lily stood flummoxed, probably looking like an idiot. She didn't notice Dorcas's hand slip out of hers and bump past the two on her way out.
"Alright Evans?" Lily closed her mouth, which was agape at James's (shirtless) presence. He seemed amused by her antics.
"Hey." She said softly. James gave her a stunning smile.
"Good commentating." He said loudly, nudging her with his elbow. Lily snapped out of her trance.
"Good Chasing." She replied, "Though it's a real shame you didn't win. It would've been nice to commentate for a winning game."
"Hey! You're supposed to be unbiased anyway." He said, not offended at all by Lily's joke. Internally, Lily sighed happily. She loved their banter.
"Even though you lost, I do hope your chest is okay." She murmured, running a finger over his bandages before her mind could stop her. James jerked back a bit, and Lily felt embarrassment surge through her. Why couldn't she control herself around him?
"Oh, bugger, I'm..."
"'S Okay." James said quickly, lopsided grin returning. "I've had worse. Did I ever tell you about the time Sirius dared me to smack a centaur's hindquarters?"
Lily giggled. "No, you'll have to share sometime. But for now-" Dorcas was already out of the door, probably waiting for Lily on the other side.
"I gotta go." She finished quickly.
"Okay, but Evans I really need to talk-"
"Later, alright?" Lily called back, "Just enjoy the party and I'll be back before you even know it."
James sighed in fake disappointment. "Okayyy." He said, "I suppose I could help Sirius drain that barrel of butterbeer. If I have to."
Lily lifted her own butterbeer in agreement, casually taking a sip.
"Cheers" She smiled at James before hastily exiting the Common Room. She tried not to think about how absolutely heart-stopping he looked tonight. Even if he was covered in sweat and probably stunk to high heaven from playing Quidditch all afternoon.
Dorcas wasn't outside the portrait hole anymore. Lily stepped out and looked around in confusion, eyes landing on her retreating figure a rather far way down the hall. Her smile vanished.
"Hey- Wait!" Lily called, running to catch up.
"Oh, no, I shan't keep you." Dorcas called over her shoulder nastily "How dare my presence get in the middle of you throwing yourself at Potter?"
Lily's stomach hurt.
"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked. Dorcas spun around.
"Just calling it like I see it." She snapped. "And right now, I see you falling all over yourself for Potter's attention."
Lily stopped in her tracks, taken aback. Dorcas's words stung, and brought all Lily's insecurities up to the surface. Not to mention that it was very clear Dorcas was angry now, though at what Lily didn't have the foggiest.
"What crawled up you arse and died?" She said angrily, hoping to revoke a reaction. Dorcas's scowl deepened.
"Potter told me you kissed him." Lily froze. She felt like she might throw up.
Dorcas continued. "That's what crawled up my arse and died. The fact that my supposedly 'best friend' hasn't told me shit about her newfound love for the boy she'd claimed to hate until just recently."
The awful thing was, half of Lily's brain was solely focused on figuring out exactly what James said about her.
"Wh-what..." She couldn't form words to save her life. Something was very wrong.
"Cat got your tongue now?" Dorcas asked, voice raising with anger. In fact, Lily saw tears in her eyes. Lily couldn't remember a time she'd seen Dorcas cry, not even when the Whomping Willow broke her arm in second year or when she found out her uncle and aunt were killed.
"Something else is wrong." She said. Dorcas laughed tonelessly and rolled her eyes, but Lily knew she was right. And suddenly she couldn't take it anymore.
"Don't you act all high and mighty when you've been dodging me about your secret boyfriend for months!" Lily cried. She felt feverish, and undeniably sick, but she couldn't be more angry. Dorcas flinched.
"And just because I have actual emotions for a bloke doesn't mean I'm 'falling all over myself'. You just can't handle the fact that..."
Lily gasped as pain erupted from her middle. She doubled over, confusion and fear mounting. Dorcas, who had turned her back on Lily in apparent fury, hadn't noticed.
"Oh so you're saying I'm heartless? Not a year ago you'd set Potter's hair on fire for even looking at you wrong! The guy you apparently have been snogging now, not to my knowledge!"
Lily couldn't focus. She looked at her hands, and gasped. Her veins were protruding from her skin like some horror scene, and her blood appeared to be running black. It reminded her of when Professor Slughorn demonstrated the transformation one goes through when they take Polyjuice Potion. Only Lily wasn't transforming, and she hadn't drank anything...
"My blood is boiling." She moaned, pain surging through her body.
"Yeah, I'm pretty pissed off myself." Dorcas muttered, still unaware.
Black dots were dancing in her vision. She was on the floor now, limbs writhing. Lily screamed, and Dorcas whipped around.
"Jesus!" She cried, all anger deserting her tone.
"Someone help!"
Her calls were getting fainter and fainter, or maybe Lily was just blacking out. She saw her friend's legs running away, and more figures coming towards her, but they appeared to be at the end of a very long and dark tunnel. It felt as if pins were in her hands, and something was ripping her open from the inside out.
Then Lily couldn't feel anything anymore.
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She slept dreamlessly.
When Lily surfaced back to consciousness, the first thing she noticed was snoring. Someone, a loud bugger too, was sawing logs next to her. But she had her own room now, why would someone be next to her...?
Lily's eyes opened, and she stared around blearily. She was in the Hospital Wing, not any cavern or pit of spikes. Her body was wrapped in the sterile white sheets of a hospital bed, and her arse was freezing from the gown. It looked like nighttime, as the whole room was darkened considerably. Still, she could make out a snoozing figure next to her, slumped over in a chair. Lily couldn't help but smile a bit (even though she shouldn't well be happy, she was in the hospital for Merlin's sakes.)She was pretty sure who that outline belonged to.
"Potter?" She called into the darkness. The figure gave a sharp gasping snore, jerking upwards at Lily's voice.
"Wazzamatter?" He asked groggily.
"It's me." Lily whispered, waving her hand a little. James seemed to snap to attention.
"Oh thank Merlin Lils, you're awake." He said, voice full of relief.
"What am I doing here?" Lily asked. She vaguely remembered the party, her and Dorcas fighting...
"Your butterbeer, something was slipped in it." James said, voice strangled and low. He mumbled lumos, and suddenly the room was filled with pale light. Lily could now completely make out his face, wand-light reflecting off his glasses. He looked lethal.
"Well, shit." Was all Lily could think to say. She had not been expecting that.
"It had to be Flint and those Slytherins." James said, hands shaking. It made the wand-light dance around the room. Lily's groggy mind was a bit slower to connect the dots. Of course. Regulus had been instructed by Flint and Goyle and the rest of those blood supremacists. Didn't Remus warn her that they would retaliate? She'd nearly forgotten all about that.
"I'm an idiot." She muttered. Why had she so openly trusted Regulus? Why hadn't she been more alert for their revenge? She'd been too busy getting into fights with her best friends, and chasing after a boy.
"Hey, stop that." James said, tentatively putting a hand up to her cheek. Lily shivered a bit. His hand was rough and warm. She pressed her face against it, feeling great comfort in his touch, until she also registered pain.
"James... my arms." Lily was examining the exposed skin that her hospital gown didn't cover. The black trails on her skin, presumably where her veins were under it, remained. She tried to glimpse her face in the window's reflection and decided against it, as she probably looked like a monster. And, now that Lily was more aware, she felt a distinct painful prickling all over her body. Tears pressed against her eyes. What if there wasn't an antidote?
As if reading her mind, James spoke. "Madame Pomfrey's fixing up a potion for you. I guess some Third Years found the book they used thrown in the bins of the bathrooms by the dungeons. She and Slughorn have been working all night, and gave you some pain relievers for now."
Lily swallowed, trying to take it all in.
"Where's everyone else?" She asked, suddenly scared they'd do something drastic.
"In bed, I s'pose. They were all here for a bit, but I snuck back in after Pomfery shooed us away." He motioned to the Invisibility cloak next to his feet.
"And they're not going to take bloody revenge on Flint and them, right? Because I know your friends get crazy ideas-"
"Don't worry, Lily." James whispered, scooting a bit closer. His chair scraped noisily on the floor. Lily, involuntarily, leaned into him. Her forehead hit him awkwardly in the chest, before they repositioned. Then it felt as if she was sinking in to him.
Lily would normally feel nervous, maybe embarrassed, at being so vulnerable. But she needed someone right now to hold her, to tell her it would all be okay even if they both knew this wasn't true. She needed James.
"I have to tell you something." She whispered.
"Hmm." James's chest rumbled in her ear.
Lily sat up, a bit carefully, to look him full on. His eyes were so open and curious, hair tousled from sleep. It was the last time she'd look at him before everything changed.
"James since the start of school, all you've done is surprise me." She said. "Your kindness, dedication to Head Boy... Well I guess, you've grown up a lot."
"Not the same pig-headed toerag I used to be?" James asked, amusement lacing his voice, but he seemed to understand how serious Lily was.
"I used to think I hated you." She whispered, a bit shameful. "But, really, I just didn't know you. And now I think I do, and you're wonderful. You're funny without trying, you're thoughtful, and even when you're the cockiest bloke I've ever met it's doesn't annoy me."
James was quiet. Lily swallowed, mustering up some courage.
"Anyways, well, I've had a great time becoming your friend, a great time working with you. I'd never have guessed we'd be this close, but I'm really glad we are. And James, I want to be more than friends. I don't know if you feel the same, and honestly I don't care. Not in a mean way, it's just, I've got to get it out and tell you. Even if you run away screaming, it's better than agonizing anymore, better than behaving like a madwoman such as I've been doing the past few weeks..." Lily trailed. James's face was unreadable in the wandlight. Embarrassment flamed in Lily's gut.
"So, um, yeah." She finished awkwardly. "I'm mad about you."
James looked like he was going to speak. He opened and closed his mouth a couple times, like a gulping fish.
"I can't tell if the silence is a good sign." Lily said, laughing purely out of nerves. And then James closed the space between them, careful not to damage Lily's already fragile body, and kissed her.
It felt like the kiss had been waiting for them. Lily was prickly and a bit woozy from the attack, but she didn't give a damn in that moment. It wasn't the longest kiss, or the deepest. It was soft, promising of more to come. But it was James's lips, and they wanted Lily's. For now, she could be content with that.
