I'm really sorry bout the crappy updates so far, and how long it takes me to write them. But I'm really gonna try on this chapter, okay?
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Also, thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter. It means a lot to me.
February 15th
I remember talking to Kagome one day about her leaving once we had completed the sacred jewel and killed off Naraku.
"Hey, Kagome?" I had asked her. We were laying in a field full of sun flowers, not far from the village, looking up at the sky. There were clouds in the sky that day, and I remember noticing a cloud looking strangely like a cow smiling at me.
"Yeah?" She answered. She propped herself up on one arm and laid on her side, looking at me. She smiled. I was suddenly self conscious- I could feel the breeze on my back, blowing my hair forward, how sweaty my palms seemed to be, and the blush creeping into my cheeks. I looked away from her eyes, at another oddly shaped cloud.
"I was just wondering- what are you going to do once we're done with this whole jewel thing? I mean, are you going back home or what?" I thought that that last part came out mean.
I could see the light in her eyes disappear. "I don't know yet. Maybe I'll go home for awhile, then come back. But one thing's for sure- there's no way I could ever leave you guys here forever." She smiled a little smile.
"Oh." It was a stupid thing to say, but I couldn't think of anything else.
"And if for some reason I do leave, can you make me a promise?" I looked straight in her eyes now, and I found that I couldn't look away.
"Sure. What is it?" Why the hell did I just agree to that? She could have made me promise to do something stupid, like be nice to Kouga or Shippo. No damn way was I going to do that.
"Can you promise me that you won't forget me?"
Well, that was an easy one. I couldn't forget her no matter how hard I tried. "I can do that." That seemed like a stupid reply too.
"But wait," I added. "Only if you don't forget me either." Where the hell were these words coming from?!
"Don't you worry, I won't forget you." She laughed, and the world suddenly seemed a lot brighter.
And now, as I stood with my mouth hanging wide open, I remembered that day. She made a promise to me, a promise. Even though she hadn't exactly left us yet, she forgot me. That was part of the promise. Not forgetting.
It hurt, actually.
Right when I realized something important, something vital about her, she had to freaking forget me. What kind of screwed up world was this when the person you loved didn't even recognize you? It was downright unfair to take something away as important as her memory from her. But in the instant when she didn't even know who I was, I felt my heart sinking in my chest. The look in her eyes that made her look like she was a little girl looking for her mother made some feelings swirl in me that I didn't know I was capable of feeling. I felt hatred and anger in me, and I fought against my demonic instincts to kill. Now was not a good time for that, with everyone still hurt and unconscious.
All but poor, confused Kagome. She still sat up in her cot, looking at me with scared eyes, probably waiting for me to bring my jaw up from it's place in the air and tell her who the hell I was. Rationally, I knew that it wasn't really her fault that she couldn't remember me. Maybe she got hit on the head so hard that she just lost her memory. Maybe that fucking Naraku took it from her just to make me mad. And it worked.
Maybe I was going to rip his disgusting head off.
Damn him, I was going to murder him! I could have dealt with just me, but he had gone too far, hurting everyone like that! When I was done with that bastard he was going to wish he was never-
"Hello? Excuse me, but who are you? And would you mind telling me who I am too?"
I snapped my head back up. "W-well, y-you are K-k-kagome…" I was shaking so bad that I couldn't talk right. "A-and I'm I-Inuyasha." I took a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself down.
"Kagome? That's a pretty name. Are you sure it's mine?" She smiled. God, how I loved her smile, even if she didn't even know my name …
I pinched myself. Focus!
"Yes, it's your name. Kagome, can you remember anything at all?" I asked in the softest voice I could possibly manage. I didn't want to scare her or anything. If she started crying, I wasn't sure that I could take that…I hate it when people cry.
"I don't know where I am! I'm scared…" Her voice was shaking, and I could see tears brimming in her eyes. Shit!
Without thinking, I launched myself at her before she had a chance to begin crying, and wrapped my arms around her. She was really cold, and shivering. I inhaled. She smelled like vanilla and just…Kagome. What the hell was wrong with me?! I couldn't even think relatively normal thoughts while I was around her.
"Excuse me…Inuyasha, was it? What are you doing? Who are you again?" Her voice broke twice. I tightened my arms around her. Naraku must've stolen my brain.
"Yeah. I'm your…friend," I was her friend, right? Wasn't I? "We travel together. Right now we're in a village, because us and our friends got hurt. You must've lost your memory. Don't be scared!" I begged her.
She started to calm down a little. Her breathing slowed down and she stayed still in my arms. The tears stopped, and I wiped off the ones that were still on her face. I think I saw her smile for a split second.
I really didn't want to let go, but now that she didn't need me anymore, I figured that I had better let go of her. I was over staying my welcome, even though I wasn't welcome in the first place. If she had been in her normal state and I hugged her like that, she would have dumped me straight on the floor, I'm sure.
I started to let go of her, but she looked up at me with wild panic in her eyes.
"Don't! Don't leave me here, I'm scared!" She sobbed. Crap, crap, crap! What was I supposed to do now?
"Okay, okay, I won't leave you! Just…calm down, okay?" She ran into my chest and cried some more. I slowly put my arms back around her.
"Don't leave me, don't leave me," she repeated over and over again. I sat down on her cot, legged crossed Indian style, and pulled her into my lap with my arms still around her. My legs were falling asleep standing up, so I thought why not? She seemed happy enough- she stopped crying and was snuggling into my chest. After about ten seconds, she fell asleep with a smile on her face. If you took the time to look, you could see the places on her face where tears had been.
To my utter surprise, I found myself pressing my lips to the top of her head. Startled, I took them away from her hair and felt my cheeks heat up.
I must be insane.
When I looked at her again, she looked like she was in a deep enough sleep that I could put her down and her cot and let her sleep. If she woke up tomorrow in my arms with her memory back, I would have my face in the ground. Over and over and over…
That didn't sound so fun, so I set her down and got up. I actually shivered from the sudden loss of warmth, but ignored it. When I turned around to proceed to the comfortable, inviting wall, I heard immediate whimpering, then more sobbing.
I turned around to see Kagome awake, her eyes full of tears. She must've been really scared.
"You said you wouldn't leave me!" She wailed.
I practically ran back to her cot. She needed to shut up before anyone else woke up; if Miroku saw us, I would have never heard the end of it.
"Shhhh! You're gonna wake up everyone else!" I shushed her. She sniffled and laid back down.
I could tell she was still crying. I really didn't blame her though. She must've felt really alone right now, having lost her memories and not knowing who anyone was. After I sat against the wall for five minutes listening to her crying softly, I sighed, got up and laid down next to her, putting my arms around her again.
I might have well just dug my own grave.
She snuggled closer to me and whispered, "Thank you."
I felt the corners of my mouth tugging up in a smile. The small room was dark; I could hear the soft snoring of Miroku, and everyone else sound asleep. I concentrated on Kagome's slow, even breathing.
It put me to sleep. The last thing I remember thinking before drifting into unconsciousness was that I was going to get hell for this once Kagome got her memories back.
Hey guys, what'd ya think? I tried to make it extra long, but that didn't work out so well. I didn't go back and edit anything, so this'll probably be sucky. Sorry bout that. Also sorry about all the fluffyness. : )
