AzuTalk
Note that I do not own anything except the character Kazuhiro Okami.
AzuTalk is filmed before a live studio audience.
(Static)
(Intro begins to play, showing clips of Azumanga Daioh episodes)
ANNOUNCER: WELCOME TO AZUTALK, THE SHOW WHERE THE CHARACTERS OF AZUMANGA DAIOH DISCUSS SUBJECTS GIVEN BY YOU THE FANS! TODAY WE DISCUSS THE CREWS FAVORITE VIDEO GAMES, TV SHOWS, RADIO AND MUSIC!!! THAT'S ALL COMING UP RIGHT NOW ON AZUTALK!!
(Spy Hunter Theme by Saliva plays)
ANNOUNCER: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOUR MASTER OF CEREMONIES, MR. KAZUHIRO OKAMI!!!!!
(Audience applauds and cheers as a burgundy and black 1953 Indian Chief smashes through a wall in the back of the sound stage, the motorcycle roars up to the stage and pulls over. Kazuhiro jumps off and cheers, giving high-fives to the audience. He is dressed in a grey T-Shirt, a black collared overshirt, fatigues, Lugz work boots and a Michigan University baseball cap)
Kazu: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! OK, welcome to the show once again. And, the best part is WE FIXED THE SET!
(Cheering)
Kazu: So, with that being…
(Kaorin walks out onstage)
Kaorin: Um…Can I talk to you real quick?
Kazu: Um, OK.
(The two walk backstage and a cameraman follows)
Kazu: So, what's up?
Kaorin: Listen, I can't hold it back any longer. I need to tell Miss Sakaki.
Kazu: And you want to do it on the show?
Kaorin: Yes. The truth comes out tonight.
Kazu: OK, we'll do it.
Kaorin: (Hugs Kazu) Thank you so much.
Kazu: Hey, no prob.
(They come back out onstage)
Kazu: OK, anyway let's bring the cast on out!!
(The girls, teachers and DH enter stage left and sit down)
Kazu: OK, today's topic is favorite video games.
Kagura: BA!
Kaorin: BA? What's BA?
Kagura: BA, you know, badass?
(Pause)
Kaorin: OH.
Tomo: Took her long enough.
Kazu: OK, Kagura and DH. You two are the hardcore gamers, what are your favorite games?
Kagura: I'm partial to Unreal Tournament 3 myself.
DH: Agreed.
Kazu: Okami. Hands down.
(Cheering)
Tomo: GTA 4!
DH: Why am I not surprised?
Chiyo: I kinda liked that one…Kat…Kataaa…
Kazu: Katamari Damacy?
Chiyo: Yeah, that's the one!
DH: Well, what about you Yukari?
Yukari: Halo 3 is God's gift to mankind.
DH: Here, here!
Yomi: I was always into those RTS games.
Tomo: Pfff…nerd.
DH: Excuse me?
Tomo: Not you!
DH: I'm a nerd and I'm DAMN proud of it!
(Raucous cheering and applause)
Kazu: Preachin' to the choir.
Osaka: What were we talkin' 'bout?
DH: We…never mind.
Kazu: What was that all about?
DH: I've found it's pointless to explain things to her.
Kazu: Excellent point.
Tomo: You'll get no argument from me.
Kazu: Anyway, if you mind. Kaorin…go right ahead.
Kaorin: Um…with all those watching?
Kazu: Right. We'll be right back!
(Commercial begins
(Emergency alert test)
(Commercial ends)
Kazu: And we're back and some odd things have happened…
(He moves out from in front of the camera. Kaorin is on her knees in shock, Tomo has fallen out of her chair laughing. Kagura is standing next to Kazu. Osaka is the only one still sitting down. Chiyo has hidden behind a table. Yomi is kneeling down, waving her hand in front of Kaorin. Sakaki is standing alone, blushing madly.)
Kazu: To explain briefly, Kaorin finally confessed, Tomo laughed so hard she fell out of her seat and knocked over the table in process, Chiyo hid behind the table after DH nearly got taken out by Kagura trying to get over here. But, it's out in the open now.
Sakaki: …Kaorin…did you mean that? About my…
Kazu: It's ALL out in the open.
Kagura: Does our insurance cover mental therapy?
DH: Probably not.
Kagura: Didn't think so.
Kazu: I wasn't even paying attention to half of what she was saying.
Tomo: Oh she was saying how much she loved Sakaki and wants to (censored) her (censored) until Sakaki's (censored) fall off and Kaorin's (censored) is whistling "O Come All Ye Faithful". And she was gonna suck her (censored) dry and (censored) her on a desk, a rock even on the (censored) floor! And then (censored) her again.
(Silence)
Kagura: Wow…
DH: Yomi, has she always had such a… (Ahem) colorful vocabulary?
Yomi: Sadly, yes.
Kazu: Go figure.
DH: Um…we have some other topics to cover. If y'all are feelin' up to it.
Yomi: Sure, why not?
Kazu: I was worried about the line of good taste, but I think we've crossed that one a couple times.
(Laughter)
DH: OK, another topic brought here by a guy named GrimMoody. He wants to know what the girls here like in guys.
Tomo: I think we can cross Kaorin off that list.
(Laughter)
DH: Agreed, well ladies?
Tomo: I like a guy with a big…
DH and Yomi: Oh, don't EVEN go there!
Tomo: Hehehehehe…
Kazu: Anyway, what about you, Yomi?
Yomi: Well, I'm fine with what I got right here. (Puts her arm around DH)
DH: Well, thank you, my dear.
(Crowd chants "KISS HER!")
DH: Well, if you insist… (DH and Yomi kiss deeply)
Kazu: And there's always a happy ending on this show.
Tomo: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!!!
(Laughter)
Kazu: Oh, will you stop?
Tomo: What?
Kazu: God, you are SO immature…
Yomi: Funny…
DH: What's funny?
Yomi: That's usually my line.
(Laughter)
Kagura: Sad thing is, she's actually right.
Osaka: Wait…why is Chiyo-chan hiding behind the table?
Kazu: Long story, Osaka.
DH: Anyhoo… So, what about you Kagura?
Kagura: You know…I never really thought about it until now.
Kazu: Yeah, same here.
Tomo: Kazu, you never thought about what you like in guys before???
Kazu: WHAT?
Tomo: Hahaha!! I'm just kidding!
Kazu: Some days I wonder…anyway, that's gonna do it for this episode! We'll see you next time on AzuTalk!!!
Read and Review!!
