Chapter 8 - Ascension

After the bomb on Virmire went off, Shepard felt her form distintegrate, as if she had been vapourised along with Ashley and the geth at the facility on Virmire.

Shepard found her consciousness drifting towards a sea of white light. But unlike the moment of the nuclear explosion, this light was not blinding or painful. In fact, she found it soothing, as if her spirit was gently floating in a plain of peace and tranquility.

Shepard wondered if she was dead. And a part of her would not have minded. She had fought the Reapers and failed. Perhaps she was not the heroine she thought she was. She had been selfish just as Ashley had said. She did not deserve to save the galaxy. Perhaps one day, the galaxy would find a hero to save it from the Reapers. But it would not be her.

Shepard resigned herself gladly to her fate and let herself drift further into the warm soothing light, welcoming the eternity of peace that death would bring her.

But just as she prepared herself to drift into the light forever, a voice interrupted her chain of thought.

"Shepard. Come back to me."

Shepard's consciousness hesitated. She wished to continue into the light, but something pulled her back.

"Commander Shepard, don't go. Come back to me."

Shepard turned away from the light and looked back. She saw an image of Ashley Williams beckoning her to return.

Shepard felt disconcerted. She did not want to leave Ashley behind. She did not want to abandon her again. But she remembered the contempt Ashley had shown her on Virmire. All Ashley would bring her was pain and guilt. This was Shepard's chance to escape, freeing herself at last from the the nightmares and false dreams that plagued her in life.

"Commander. Don't go. You must come back to me."

With a heaviness in her soul, Shepard turned away from Ashley. She reminded herself that she was neither worthy nor capable of defeating the reapers. She was nothing but a fraud who had sacrificed a good friend for her own selfish desires. Shepard prepared to let death consume her. She prepared herself for the ascension to a higher plain promised by the rippling bright light before her.

But just as she was about to let herself go, she found a figure blocking her path. With shock she recognised who it was. A dear friend and comrade from the past.

Thane Krios stood tall and majestic before her, dressed in the suit he always wore in life, barring her way to the light.

"Let me go, Thane." Shepard tried to go round him, but he would not let her pass. "My time is at an end."

Thane did not move from Shepard's path. He raised a hand to stop her. And then he spoke with words that pierced her very soul.

"Kalahira. This one's heart is pure,

But beset by wickedness and contention,

Guide this one to where the traveller never tires,

The lover never leaves, the hungry never starve,

Guide this one, Kalahira,

And she will be a companion to you, as she was to me."

Shepard immediately recognised the words. It was the poem she had recited at the moment of Thane's death. Words that Thane had chosen for her.

"This is not your path, Shepard." Said Thane. "You must go back."

Shepard looked back towards the form of Ashley Williams who was still beckoning her to return. And then she looked forward towards the light. But this time, the light did not seem so pure. Cracks started to appear in the fabric of the soft glow, revealing chasms of absolute darkness.

"I cannot let you pass Shepard." Said Thane. "This is not the path to the fifth way."

The dark cracks in the light started to get wider and wider. Shepard halted in confusion. She wasn't sure what she should do. She still felt attracted towards the peace and tranquility of the light. She feared that if she waited too long, she would forever lose her chance to reach it. But she also questioned why Ashley was so desperate to stop her. And why Thane had interervened at this time.

A third figure appeared right beside Shepard. Shepard immediately recognised Kelly Chambers. Kelly gently touched Shepard's arm.

"Thane is right, commander. You must go back."

Shepard looked at the plain of light that was slowly disintegrating. Then she looked back at Ashley Williams who was still beckoning her to return.

"Come back to me, commander. Please don't leave me."

Shepard saw that Ashley had an expression of concern and worry etched on her face. This was not the same Ashley who had reprimanded her on Virmire. This was a different Ashley. This was the Ashley who had devoted herself to the mission on the first Normandy. The Ashley who had backed Shepard without hesitation in every fight. The Ashley who had become Shepard's loyal friend.

Shepard looked to the light one last time. She knew she would not leave Ashley Williams behind again. She would not abandon her friend again for her own selfish desires like she had done in the past. She would go back and fight. Even if she had to confront the pain and guilt that had plagued her for so many years.

"You see the truth now, Commander." Said Kelly Chambers. "Look at yourself."

Shepard look down and realised she could see her body. She was not dead. She was not a disembodied spirit. She raised her hands and inspected them closely. To her horror, they looked almost solid. That could only mean one thing.

"I'm indoctrinated." Shepard hissed. "The Reapers are fighting back."

"Don't let them destroy you like they did me, commander." Said Kelly. "You have the strength to resist them. Fight them, commander! Find the fifth way for us all. Do not let our sacrifices and suffering be in vain."

Thane drew a pistol and held it in the air. "The Reapers wish to lead you down the wrong path. A path that will lead to defeat and oblivion. But if you fight, Shepard, you can defeat them."

The dark cracks in the light before Shepard grew wider and wider. Shepard realised that she had almost let herself be sucked in and consumed by the reapers, as they did with everything in their path.

"Then I shall fight." Shepard sneered with grim determination. "And I shall find the fifth way. You know what to do Thane."

"Yes, Shepard." Said Thane.

Thane turned towards the fragmenting light and fired one pistol shot at it. The plain of light exploded towards Shepard, sweeping away Kelly Chambers and Thane Krios in its path. In it's place, Shepard found herself staring at a whirlpool of darkness that was waiting to suck her in and consume her. And in front of the whirlpool waited a Reaper. A Reaper Shepard had met before. It was Sovereign.

"It was reaper trap." Shepard said to herself in anger.

"Come Shepard." Soverein's voice boomed out. "You know you cannot defeat us. We are eternal. We are immortal. Come end your petty life of insignificance."

Shepard looked in disgust at Sovereign waiting before the dark vortex that was intended to drag her in to oblivion.

"I think not." Shepard said to herself. Shepard looked down at her hands and saw they were transparent again. The attempt at Reaper re-indoctrination had failed.

"Come Shepard." Said Sovereign. "Come and we shall ascend you to a higher plain."

Shepard smiled maliciously. It dawned on her that the Reapers still thought she was indoctrinated. They did't realise they had failed.

"The hell you will."

"Our control will be the key to your salvation." Boomed Sovereign.

Laughing, Shepard turned and walked back to where Ashley Williams was waiting for her. Ashley smiled and took Shepard's hands in her.

"Do you trust me, commander?"

Shepard looked into Ashley's eyes. She saw no bitterness or contempt. All she saw was the concern and love of a true friend.

"Yes, Ash. I trust you."

"Then take my hands." Ashley stretched out her hands to Shepard.

Shepard nodded and grasped Ashley's hands without hesitation.

In a flash of blinding light, Sovereign and the dark vortex disappeared.