Chapter 8: Revelations, Part 2
Author: AmandasArmada
Rating: M
Trigger Warning: Mention of Death and Illness (ultimately a happy chapter)
C.J. woke up early the next morning, a habit she was still trying to break. She smiled into Danny's chest, moving her arm to rest on his back. She was getting used to this.
"Morning," he mumbled, kissing her head. She heard him inhale her scent and rubbed his back, slowly remembering where they were.
"You want breakfast? I can guarantee you my mom's got something going." Even as he spoke, the smell of eggs wafted into the room.
"Oh – I should offer to help," CJ said considerately, sitting up and reaching over for her glasses.
"Good luck with that," Danny laughed, sitting up himself, his curls a mess this early in the morning.
"Do you guys usually get dressed before breakfast?" CJ looked down at her pajamas – drawstring pants and a Berkeley t-shirt, and then over at her her bag, yawning.
"You're fine," Danny assured her.
"Aren't you coming?"
"Was thinkin' of hopping in the shower first." Danny smiled. "You're welcome to join me."
He stood up, pulling off his Notre Dame sweatshirt. C.J. smiled and kissed him, then picked up the sweatshirt from the bed, pulling it over herself instead. "I think I'll wait to jump you until there aren't 10 other people in the house," she said grinning.
"Suit yourself," Danny said confidently, grinning as she tiptoed out of the room.
Downstairs, C.J. found a remarkably quiet scene – Maureen and Bridget Concannon sitting at the kitchen table (which was considerably smaller than the one in the dining room), Bridget sipping coffee from a U of M mug, Maureen drinking tea. They both smiled when C.J. came in.
"Morning," Maureen said pleasantly, standing up.
"Good morning. Happy Birthday," C.J. said sweetly, smiling as sat down at the table and pushed a lock of hair out of her face.
"Can I make you something? Eggs? Pancakes?"
"Oh no, please, don't go to any trouble," C.J. said quickly.
"I like cooking," Maureen said sincerely. "She does," Bridget added. "If you try to pour some cereal or cook something yourself, she'll sulk. And fuss." She smiled at her mother. "Sorry, but it's true. We're a brutally honest family," she said to C.J.
"That must be where Danny gets his reporter instincts," Maureen said good-naturedly. C.J. smiled at her, and noticed again Danny's resemblance to his mother. The round friendly face and easy-going nature was certainly uncannily familiar to her. "How do pancakes sound?"
"I – if you really want to," C.J. couldn't help feeling a little guilty, but Maureen beamed at her. "Would you like some orange juice?"
"Oh – sure," C.J. went to stand up.
"Not at all, I've got it," Maureen assured her. C.J. sat back down, blushing at the courtesy.
"Not to put you on the spot or anything," Bree said slyly, causing C.J. to turn her attention to her. "But I'm pretty sure you're the first woman Danny's brought home since his girlfriends in college."
C.J. blushed, awkward again. "Oh, well – he's got a busy job. Long nights, lots of travel - not exactly conducive for dating."
"You've known each other for quite some time though, haven't you?" Maureen asked innocently.
"Going on nine years," C.J. reflected, remembering the charming reporter she'd first developed a crush on back on the campaign trail, who'd laughed at her klutziness and privately assured her she was doing a good job.
"And yet, I bet you'd still be happy to hear us dish the dirt on Danny," Bridget grinned. C.J. raised her eyebrows.
"What don't I know?"
Bridget smiled mischievously. "Hold on, I'll get the family albums." She stood. "Wait 'til you see Danny in high school." She flipped her curls over her shoulder. "Some of us," she said, in a voice laced with false haughtiness, "handled puberty better than others."
Later that day.
The day that followed was one of the most relaxed and easy C.J. could remember in a long time. Completely cut off from Washington, with kids running all around, and laughter coming from each room as she passed through the house, she held hands with Danny as each one of his family members gradually tried to get to know her. She met Abigail, a lawyer, and her husband James, a handsome black man that taught political science at the University of Michigan. Abigail resembled Danny's father and was the most serious of the Concannons, although she laughed easily when prompted and spoke passionately with C.J. about politics, and the fact that they'd both spent time working for Emily's List. Erin on the other hand was young, in her mid-thirties, with a sweet and earnest face like Danny's, and she had a growing bump and a glow that radiated from beneath her long blonde hair. The kids went out and went sledding down the hill in the family's backyard, trampling snow all through the hallway, and the adults traipsed obediently outside, shivering, to admire the two-feet tall snowman that had been sloppily assembled in the front yard. C.J. laughed and played Go Fish with the kids (at Sarah's insistence), then board games and gin rummy with Danny's sisters. Danny's mother was surrounded by family and flowers, a stack of presents piling up on the long dining room table as the afternoon progressed. Danny's father, quiet and more somber like Abigail, kissed his wife, and C.J. saw a hint of Danny's twinkling eyes peeping out from his strong face. For the latter part of the afternoon, Danny couldn't seem to leave C.J.'s side, and his hands were always on her – holding her hand, putting his arm around her waist, brushing her hair back, kissing her when he thought they were alone, until Sarah started giggling and screeching – and all the while, his family quietly exchanged hopeful smiles.
That evening.
C.J. sat on the bed in Danny's old bedroom, looking around at the navy blue walls, a Notre Dame flag hanging over the dresser. She thought about her own room back in Dayton, which was now Hogan's room, since her brother had moved back into the old house when her dad got sick, first to take care of him, and then to remain close when he'd had to go into the home. Wiping away the tears starting to form, she didn't even notice Danny coming out of the bathroom until he'd sat behind her.
"Heyyy," he said gently, concern in his voice. "What's wrong?"
"Oh – nothing. I just got something in my eye," CJ said, sniffling and looking away.
"Did someone say something to you that upset you?" Danny sounded confused, and a little angry. "Abby can be really tactless sometimes, she gets away with it because she's the oldest." C.J. shook her head silently. "Or Jordan? He's a good kid, but he's gotten pretty obnoxious the past couple years. He's that age."
CJ looked at him balefully through her watery eyes, and Danny nodded, chuckling with her at the idea that a 16-year-old boy could make C.J. Cregg cry.
"All right, so that's not it," he admitted, as C.J. allowed herself a small smile. "What's wrong?" Danny repeated, wrapping his arms around her.
"I need to tell you something," C.J. said quietly, tipping her head to look up into his eyes. "I don't usually talk about it. Only a couple of people know."
"You can trust me," Danny said comfortingly, rubbing her back slowly.
C.J. took a deep breath, sitting up a bit so they were facing. Danny moved his hand to rest on her thigh, rubbing little circles on it.
"You know that my mom passed away – a long time ago now. She was sick. Cancer," C.J. almost whispered the word, a word she always tried to avoid saying, as if afraid that if it heard her calling its name, it might come back for someone else.
"Yeah," Danny said softly.
"Well my dad – my dad is sick now too." C.J. looked into his eyes. "He's got Alzheimer's. He's in a home."
"Oh, C.J." Danny leaned forward, wrapping his arms around her. She let herself sink into him for a few minutes, her tears seeping into his sweater. He rubbed her back and ran his fingers over her hair, helping her take deep breaths as she cried quietly into his chest. He kissed the top of her head, his heart full of love and sorrow for the grieving woman in his arms.
"I'm so sorry, C.J. I'm here. I'm always gonna be here," he murmured, as she buried her head into his neck. He just held her for awhile, rubbing her hair, whispering to her.
After a few minutes she seemed to collect herself, and the tears stopped. She looked into his face, and he marveled at the bravery there.
"I just thought you should know. And I've been thinking about it a lot this past few days, ever since you brought up coming here." C.J. took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry I brought all of this up," Danny said softly. "I'm glad you told me."
C.J. exhaled softly, looking around. "It's just made me feel...awful, because you have this big great family, and I used to have that too." She met his eyes again. "I really did. And I wish I could have shared it with you."
"I wish you could too," Danny said softly, and even as he touched his nose to hers, a vision came to him, of C.J. and him building their own family, with a house and Christmases and laughter and friends. He pushed it to the back of his mind, feeling C.J. brush her lips against his.
"I wish you could have met my dad," C.J. said softly.
"Well, I still can," Danny said quietly, looking gently into her face. C.J. shook her head, awkward and self-conscious. "You wouldn't get much from it. He's not himself, 99% of the time. You'd be really uncomfortable. It's okay."
"I doubt that." Danny put his hand to her face. "I want to meet your dad, C.J.," he assured her.
C.J. looked at him, and a slow wave of warmth spread over her. She paused. "I have a niece, you know. Hogan. And two nephews. Two brothers."
"I can't wait to meet 'em," Danny told her, kissing her gently. She smiled, tears still in her eyes.
"I wish you could have met...her," she said quietly.
Danny looked at her intently, then guided her down so they were laying down on the bed, his arms curled around her.
"Tell me about her," he said softly.
And she did.
The next day.
The next morning, C.J. and Danny departed for the airport, Emily crying a little when they drove off. C.J. had wished Danny's mother a happy birthday again, and told everyone how nice it'd been to meet them, and meant it. Danny's father gave her a smile with a twinkle in his eyes as he shook her hand good-bye, and Cassidy smirked at Bridget as Danny took C.J.'s hand to head out, with Sarah announcing in a stage whisper to a sulking Emily that she'd walked in on them kissing again that morning.
That night back in L.A., Danny and C.J. crawled into bed together, and she settled up against him, looking into his blue eyes and sighing. This weekend had been exhausting, emotionally as much as physically, but she felt strong as she looked down at the man whose family had welcomed her into their home.
"What's up?" He said, smiling. She cut him off with a kiss.
The next thing he knew she was pulling his sweatshirt off, kissing him desperately, her heart brimming with emotion, her mind swimming with the thoughts that were flooding through her head. Danny sighed deeply as she tugged her shirt over her head, pushing her body against his firmly. He ran his hand over her back, letting it sit in the dip above her waist, pulling her closer. His other hand fumbled with unclasping her bra, and he moved his first hand to run it through her hair. He kissed her face, her neck, her breasts, running his hands up and down her sides.
She was tugging at his pants, a quiet passion that overwhelmed him even more than when she would climb on top of him, laughing and tearing off his clothes eagerly.
She was kissing him gently, and he could feel his heart beating against her skin, so fast he was sure she could feel it too, her pants abandoned and her hips pushing against his.
She took his face in her hands as she kissed him, and he couldn't keep his hands off her. He slid a finger into the soft folds of her skin, her panties long gone, and choked out a low groan at feeling how wet she was. He pushed his finger gently inside her, then another, rocking his palm against her clit until she started gasping. He listened breathlessly as her gasps turned to moans, deeper and throatier, and a moment later felt her whole body clench up. Her breathing changed and she rocked against him, and he felt her release of air as she sighed. Her hand took his, gently guiding it away, then she took his erection in her hand, sliding it inside of her. He looked into her eyes and she put her hands back on his face, they rolled over so he was looking down at her, kissing her, her legs wrapping around his waist. He listened to her sighs, mounting again as his own ecstasy grew, their eyes locked together, and he was mesmerized by how beautiful she was.
Late that night.
"I owe you an apology," she said quietly, afterwards, as she lay sprawled on top of him, her body coated in a cool sweat.
"For what?" he murmured, confused.
"For that day. At the hot dog stand." She sounded scared.
"You've made up for it," he said sleepily, rubbing her back again.
"I made you feel like I didn't see a future with you. Like you weren't important to me."
Danny sighed quietly, his chest aching at the memory. There had been a few hours – a few terrifying hours – where he'd wondered if her feelings were just an attraction to him; combined with a friendly affection, sure, but nothing more. It gutted him, reliving that feeling - when for the first moment his confidence that she loved him, maybe even as much as he loved her, had been shaken, and maybe the future that he'd been hoping for so strongly, that had been becoming more and more clear to him every time their lips met, was just a fling for her. A passionate fling, but a fling.
"I don't feel that way." Her voice was clear.
Danny smiled a little, exhausted. "I'm getting that."
She looked at him seriously. "It's important that you know."
He listened to her heartbeat, still racing against his chest. "I know," he said softly.
"And that you know that I'm sorry."
He pulled her into a kiss, and as they pulled away and he smiled at her, she felt that rush of warmth and reassurance that she associated only with his presence. She smiled back in spite of herself, and Danny kissed her forehead. "I forgive you."
She settled her face back against his chest, closing her eyes, a feeling of calmness flooding through her.
C.J. Cregg was getting ready to jump off a cliff.
