MONSIEUR MONKEY MAN WITH THE LUCKY CHARMS HAT

?!Under A Palm Tree!?

Bella: EWWW!!!

Alice: WHAT?!?! WHAT?!?!?

Bella: It's a big ole butt!!

Edward: Umm... Bella, honey, that's a peach

Mike: --gets thunked in the head with a coconut— Why me, god?! WHY?!?!?!

Bella: Because he felt like it

Alice: Why?

Bella: Because brain damage isn't a spaghetti pie you know!!

Jacob: Taking drugs is not safe, boys and girls!!

Alice: EW... it's Monsieur Monkey Man with the Lucky Charms hat!!

Bella: Oh yeah?! Bet I could blow up my toe faster than you!!

Edward: Oh dear... this could not have good results

Alice: -giggles- He said 'o dear'

Bella: Stop making fun of my husband Alice! –Slap- Ow!! Eddie, kiss it, make my boo boo better!!

Edward: -confused-

Bella: Guess what?! I'm a feathery cow now!! DOINK!!

Jacob: I dislike school dances

Emmett: Blow, blow, blow, pop, pop! Goes the dang muffin truck

Mike: AHHH!! It's a man!! Wait, shampoo is not to be drank as coffee cake!! Wow, Mommy, I'm smart

Jacob: Dude, you know your mama ain't here, right?

Bella: He said 'ain't'!

Alice: WHOA!! I just had a vision that a cantaloupe would fall out of the sky and hit the vile Mike Newton in the head!!

Mike: -cantaloupe falls out of the sky and hits him in the head- Ow. Oh well

Bella: Let's all ride tricycles!! YEAH!! ATTACK OF THE MINI CHEESE BALLS!

Edward: What is happening to my poor Bella?!

Bella: Did Eddie just call me poor?! As in, ugly and poor?! OH SOB!!

Alice: Jazzy let's go make a baby!!

Jasper: Um... Alice, you know you can't have babies, right?

Alice: WHAT?! Since when?!

Bella: Since about 1918, actually

Alice: Oh FADOOBERS!! SOBS!!

Bella: Cool! Now we're like the sobbing duo!!!

Mike: -cries- Does that mean it's a trio now?

Bella: No!! Now go away, vile Mike Newton!

Alice: Did you just use my hairdryer on a cactus Mr. Moingkablooper?!

Jacob: Oh geez. Once the pixie starts, she'll never stop

Emmett: It's the never ending cycle of doom also known as a dishwasher

Edward: Um, okay then. Bella, would you like to go out to dinner tonight

Jacob: Dude, you don't even eat! What the hell would you do at a dinner?

Mike: Whoa!! Cullen's anorexic now?!

Edward: Never mind

Bella: Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, are you bailing out on me, now?! –sheds a tear-

Alice: Dudette! You just ruined the eye liner!!

Bella: Ally, how can you worry about the eye liner when the love of my life is about to leave me for some balloon tissue?

Edward: Bella, I am not about to leave you for a balloon tissue

Bella: Yes you are! And it's SOME balloon tissue by the way. Also, you're not the love of my life. Mr. Banner's left sock is. You're the love my existence. So there

Alice: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Ooh, that sounded so VERRRRRRRRRRRY EVIIIIIIIIIIIIIL!!

Bella: Cool! So now penguins dominate over the battle ship Version 2.0?

Alice: I guess so. Anyway, does that butt look strange to you??

Edward: I believe we have already covered the fact that it's a peach

Mike: So now there's a candle inside of the monsters of ETRIEHOINDAL land

Bella: Blurb ever, vile Mike Newton. You know, that's sort of getting old. As of now, he will be... Super Cage of Poop Saliva!!

Alice: EWWW!!

Bella: That's kinda the point

Alice: Oh, okay then

Emmett: Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo!!

Alice: okay, so then there was a cheese string that really loved papayas. It ate so many papayas; it turned into an Emmett Cullen

Emmett: WHOA!! Like, super millionaire on the way, Motorcycle!!

Bella: DUN NUH NUH NUH NUH NUH NUH NUH DUH NUH NUH NUH NUH NUH NUH NUH BATMAN!!

Jacob: I should go now

Bella: No!!!!!!!! Don't leave me, Jake!!!! :'(

Alice: And then the pot of toilet feasts bungee jumped off Mount Everest and swallowed toxic poison gases

"There!" Bella said, kissing the garbage can, before whacking it fourteen times with her left nostril and proceeded to make a parachute for it. "GONE WITH THE WIND!!" she yelled happily.

Alice then came and ruined the moment by bringing out a Barney doll, when everyone knew that Super Cage of Poop Saliva had an irrational fear of Barney, the big purple dinosaur. He then ran screaming into the palm tree, and got hit in the head by two hundred and forty six point three four coconuts all at once, while drinking white glue. It was then a very awkward moment because four vixens appeared out of nowhere and then their tails fell off to reveal a horse's butt.

"I love you, Mrs. Boo Blinked," said Bella sleepily, and drifted off to a restless sleep where she dreamed of telephones and china earrings ganging up together to attack the post office.