8 Navigations Beyond Frustration

SMASH!

"Why does this have to be so bleeding difficult!?"

"Doctor, you're the one making it difficult. Jack and I aren't having any problems. I told you…"

"I know what you told me, but it doesn't make sense! Block transfer mathematics do not need…"

"You've said all that already, and what we're doing is like block transfer maths, but isn't exactly the same, and since you refuse to follow my lead…YOU AREN'T GOING TO SUCCEED!"

Rose's frustration with the Doctor's unwillingness to work with them on the Spherical Gallifreyan is starting to really exasperate her. For three hours now, they have been trying the dish routine. Rose tried alone, showing him how it didn't work, and then she and Jack did it together and…voila—plate!

But no matter how many times she tried to explain why, the Doctor was insistent that it couldn't be that simple and not be doable on one's own. Teamwork not really being his strong suit, he continued to attempt to make more and more complicated Manifestations that refused to either exist at all or fully take shape. The Music Room (the specialised space the TARDIS originally made for them to practise in) is nearly an inch deep in abortive dust.

"But, Rooose, I..."

"Right. You've decided to be a bullheaded arse, and I've decided to be done for the day. The baby and I are tired. When you've decided to stop being a plonker, I'll be in the Library."

With a flip of her long blonde hair and a frown that could stop a Dalek in its tracks, Rose heads resolutely towards the door.

"See you later, Jack. Thanks for all the assistance," she says sweetly, giving him an eye roll and a small grin.

Not wanting to let on that he knows she's not as mad as she projecting, he gives a little wave as she leaves the room. Then, he turns his own gaze back to the fuming Time Lord in the centre of the space.

"You know you're being a prick, right?" Jack asks in a perfectly reasonable tone.

"I'll thank you, Harkness, to keep the commentary to a minimum," the Doctor snarks back.

"No, you'll thank me when you get over yourself and make this work. The problem is you think you know what's supposed to happen, but you don't. You haven't done it. Rose and I have, and since we're successful, your ego is affronted and now you have to do it your way. So how's that workin' for ya' right now, Doc?" Jack finishes, rushing through what he wanted to get out before the Doctor could interrupt him.

Jack watches the Doctor grow preternaturally still as his comment plays out, his shoulders hunching. Jack knows his eyes will be dark with anger, and as he's about to consider an apology when the Doctor's posture relaxes in defeat and he slumps to the floor cross-legged. Jack smiles because unknowingly, the Doctor is mimicking the same posture Rose had adopted in the middle of her own first frustrating day filled with the same sorts of problems.

"Rose probably thinks I'm stupid," the Doctor grouses like 3 year-old.

"I seriously doubt that. Look, I'm sorry for …"

"No. You're right, Jack. I'm the one who's sorry. I was being an arrogant arse. I'm so lost in the big picture that I can't see all the small steps that lead to it. And I've been…distracted since Messaline," he says honestly, sifting some of the impossible dust through his fingers.

It had been three weeks since they'd left Messaline, running from planet, to space station, to outpost—all for nothing. No one had seen or heard of a Genny Tyler. The Doctor and Rose had less patience with their companion's quirks for a day or so after one of these failed landings, so earlier this week, they'd decided to stop trying so hard. They knew she was out there and eventually they'd find each other.

It was Rose who suggested they work on the Spherical Gallifreyan. She might be regretting that now.

"Did you know," the Doctor begins again, playing with the dust, "that with Block transfer maths, you could conceivably create planets and star systems, maybe even whole galaxies? Though the computing power needed for that would be beyond anything we could come up with. And here I am, can't even manage a teacup." Picking up a half-formed one from the floor, it gives out its little golden spark before falling to dust—like all the rest.

"But see that's the thing, Doctor. Your fancy maths require the computing power. What you and Rose, and to a certain extent me, need to do is much more visceral. We are, in a way, sculpting with the creative stuff of the Universe itself," Jack explains, moving to sit in front of the Doctor. "I know that sounds pretentious and ridiculous, but it's the best I can do."

The Doctor blinks at him a few times, thinking furiously. Then an enormous grin splits his face.

"Jack, you're brilliant! That's exactly what it is, and what I wasn't seeing." Leaping to his feet, he begins pacing back and forth as he continues thinking out loud, kicking bits of debris out of his way. "That's exactly what I needed to hear…the stuff of the Universe, and we're sculpting it with focused intentions through song because that's how the TARDIS interfaced with Rose initially. Brilliant! I bet Dougie would be world class at this! Wait! Not until I figure it out, okay?" he asks earnestly, turning to look at Jack fully.

Laughing at him for being insecure while at the same time figuring at how to make planets with his mind, Jack steps forward with a cheeky grin and claps the Doctor on the shoulder. "Not a moment before, I promise," he intones solemnly. "Now, do you want to try again and bring the missus some tea in her new cup and saucer we're about to make?"

With an answering grin, the Doctor nods, taking a couple of steps away and humming a clear note. Jack comes in half a step lower, and the Doctor begins crafting his intention in golden circles and dots in the air of the room.


"Rose, I'm sorry I was being so awful. Will you forgive me? I made you tea," the Doctor says apologetically as he enters the Library and moves toward where Rose is sitting, looking out the large picture window.

Today the Gallifreyan landscape is in full sun without a cloud in the sky. The mountains are so crisp and clear in the distance, they almost look unreal…which technically they are…sort of.

It's been 2 hours since she left in a huff, and in that time, she's had a chance to work out with Darling why he's being so difficult, and to let the mood go. She's ready to forgive him. Not being able to find Genny had been stressful on all of them, but especially the Doctor. He still feels responsible for her death-like he does..idjit!

Turning to observe him as he makes his way across the room, she notices the lone teacup and saucer.

"Of course, I forgive you, you pillock. Oh! Where did these come from? I don't recognise them. Are you getting me preemptive presents, now?" she teases him, smiling softly at the earnest look on his face.

"Oh! Would that work? It's an excellent idea," he teases back, tense lines in his face easing into a matching smile at her forgiveness. "While they are a present, I didn't get them for you, I made them…well, Jack helped…a little," he admits with a sheepish grin.

"You did it! I knew you could!" Rose enthuses. Jack must have finally gotten through to him. If he were here, she'd kiss him in relieved thanks.

"Oh, Doctor, they're wonderful, but how'd you get the design on it, too?" Rose questions him as she silently asks Darling to move the new Holiday dishes she'd made with holly leaves and berries on them to a cupboard the Doctor will never find on his own. He should feel like his accomplishment was special at the beginning.

"Isn't that great? I did it accidentally!" he chirps happily. "I was thinking about how a Rose on your cup would be nice while we were working, and then—Wham!—there it was," he tells her, preening.

That is something. It had taken her days to get it to work, and she'd been trying to do it on purpose once Darling told her it was possible. Maybe she'll bring out the new dishes a little early after all-can't let him get too inflated.

Finally navigating the full cup and saucer across the Library with a minimum of spillage, he sets it down on the table next to Rose and sits next to her on the floor, resting his head in her lap and an arm around her back. They stay like that, with Rose running her fingers through his hair as they look out at the beautiful sky, and she enjoys her tea in its brand new cup.

At the door, Jack tiptoes away back to the Kitchen and the rest of the gang who are awaiting the progress report. He'd silently followed after the Doctor, eavesdropping and praying the making up would go well. Reaching the door of the Kitchen, he saunters in, arms raised, "Success! No dismemberment today!"

Dougie and Donna cheer and clap as Jack makes his way to sit next to Donna.

"The Spaceman had better learn to behave. Rose and I have talked about her mom's pregnancy, and she was a lunatic the last several months. Now I know Rose is only a third of the way but still," she says, taking a sip of her tea.

"Interesting, the women in my own species would seclude themselves for the final two months, only seen by other women. The men wouldn't know anything until their mates came out holding their child, or not holding as sometimes happened," Dougie tells them.

"Did you have a family, Dougie? I can't believe we never asked. I'm sorry," Donna says, feeling guilty at the lapse in her friendship.

"You have nothing to apologise for, dear Donna. I did not have a family other than my wife. I was the youngest of three sons, and was not required to reproduce like my older two brothers were. That was one of the reasons I left with Rethali, my wife. With one less obligation to stay, it was easier to leave with her and hope that things would improve between us. They did not, but I do not regret my decision," he says with a slightly sad smile. "If I had stayed, I would have died millennia ago, and I would not have met you. While I regret the decisions made by my people, my own decisions have brought me profound joy."

"We love you, too, Dougie," Jack replies, and they all enjoy their tea thinking of the couple in the other room.


"Rose, the TARDIS mentioned again that a visit to the Rift would be nice."

"Mmmm-hmm," Rose agrees.

Her eyes are closed and her fingers had stilled in his hair a few minutes earlier. She isn't sleeping, but she isn't precisely awake either. Specifically, if asked, she'd been very focused on the musings of their son.

Since Messaline, he's been very aware of the emotional states around him. It's one of the reasons she'd left the Music Room earlier when the Doctor was being an obstinate child. Their son had noticed and was considering kicking up a fuss.

There is no way for him to block against the daily ups and downs of the feelings in those surrounding his mum, so it's up to her…and his stubborn father to shield him from everyone else. And this is a fairly simple task that they had grown used to maintaining, but when those heightened emotions are coming from both of his parents, it all becomes a little…intense.

Rose didn't want him aware of her observation, so she stayed at the fringes of his awareness. She had been watching him sing to himself in his little mind. Sing was the best word she could come up with to describe the kaleidoscopic gyrations he would put his thoughts to. Today, it was a riotous dancing of colours, sensations, and feelings that were some of the most beautiful and strange designs she'd ever encountered. He was composing whole symphonies with the only ingredients he had to amuse himself. It was awesome and alien. Following his explorations was absorbing, and it took her a moment to come back to the Library and her husband's comment.

"Soooooo, about visiting the Rift, what do you think we should do about the others?" the Doctor asks carefully.

He isn't exactly sure how to approach the topic. In his opinion, there are two options…be honest or don't be honest. They could tell Jack, Donna, and Dougie what they're doing and where they're going and give them a choice to stay in the TARDIS or be let off on a trip. Or he and Rose could decide what was going to happen and execute it. That latter was much more his style, but that was before Rose was a permanent fixture in his life.

He was pretty sure she would lean toward the former option. Though, she had been less than honest with Jack the last time the TARDIS needed to be charged up. It was this uncertainty that finally made the Doctor voice the question. He was coming to understand that involving Rose in the decision making process did actually make the final outcome easier. The alternatives were best left uncontemplated.

"Oh, I guess we have to let them know something's up," she comments with a sigh before focusing on his question. "It would be easy enough to let Donna and Jack know that we're going to be near Wilf and Sylvia. I'm sure Donna would like a visit, but we are Dougie's only family," she says as she works her way through the options. "The only reason we're even having this conversation is Jack; he's the sticky wicket."

"Exactly," the Doctor agrees, glad that she understands the real issue.

"Well, that settles it then," Rose says in a tone of finality.

"Settles what? There wasn't more…did you say more?" he asks, picking his head up from her lap and looking at her quizzically. Checking his time sense, he isn't missing any time, so what did he just miss?

"No, it's just obvious. You take Jack into the bowels of the TARDIS on some maintenance mission and I'll keep Donna busy—maybe we'll go to the Pool. Tell him what the issues are, and ask him what he'd prefer to do," she says matter-of-factly.

"I don't see how any of that was obvious, especially when…" Pausing to take a breath, the Doctor decides to go with her obtuse logic; it's safer that way. "Anyway, why does it have to be me? You're so much better at the feely stuff than I am," he whinges. Pregnant Rose is a bit…unpredictable, it isn't always wise to point that out.

"Doctor, he's been a Time Agent. Jack will understand the options. Donna wouldn't, and I love her, but she wouldn't let it go until she completely understood. This is faster," Rose tells him succinctly. He can tell that she doesn't prefer the manoeuvring, but he has to agree that it will make the entire process more efficient.

"Bah! Fine," he replies resignedly, but in his usually mercurial fashion, he then gets excited by the possibilities. "Oh! I'll take him down to the Heart-tree. The leads to the dimensional storage nodes have been acting a bit strangely since Dougie cleaned out Pandora, and I've been meaning to check on them. I'll take them both! Dougie will love the Heart-tree." Clapping his hands together, he beams at her in excitement. Rose can see how much he's going to enjoy showing off another part of his beloved ship.

"You could show them the Eye, if you're feeling the need to be really impressive," she teases him.

"Rose Tyler," he admonishes, getting to his feet and holding out a hand to help her up as well. "There's no reason to show away."

"Oi! Like that's ever stopped you."

"Cheeky, cheeky…come 'ere; I'll show ya impressive," he purrs at her, pulling her close.

Sharing a not so casual kiss, they stop when they need to catch their breaths, despite the respiratory bypass. Resting their foreheads together, they enjoy each other a moment. And then they enjoy a moment with their son as he notices their pleasure and reaches out for some of his own. Laughing, they have a shared moment of love before leaving the Library to join their companions in the Kitchen.


A/N: As always, thank you so much for reading and following. You're all lovely. I really appreciate the reviews. Getting a little feedback is always nice. :-)

We're heading toward the next adventure now, but first a stop at the Rift and an uncooperative Future Jack. Monday's Chapter-Confessions.