A/N: Two. Days. Late. ekuraghv (that was me slamming my head against the keyboard). I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Anyway, quick note, the salt in the tea will be returning next chapter. Never fear, I keep my promises!

Also, this chapter was originally designed to be two separate chapters, but they were too small, so I combined them. It doesn't flow perfectly, so I apologize in advance for that.

Chapter Eight:

Pun War

The Doctor once again found himself falling into a rhythm. He visited Rose once a week -well, a week for her, mere minutes for him- and would tutor her on whatever she needed academic help with. He always found a way to explain it to her, and Rose increased her grades by a tenfold in the next few weeks.

The one thing that the Doctor was finding hard to deal with was the similarities of this Rose to the Rose he traveled with. Every time he looked at Rose, both his hearts would rip in two. Even when he blinked and turned his gaze back to her he would get a stab in the gut.

She looked just like, well, Rose. The Rose who he lo-

The Rose who he liked. A lot.

But she was sixteen now. That wasn't happening. Highly inappropriate. Nope.

It still hurt, though, to look at Rose, his pink and yellow human. Every time he turned his eyes to her, it would reconcile the feeling of pain and loss that he felt after Bad Wolf Bay, and the sentence that he never finished.

The sentence his clone finished.

The similarities between this Rose, and his Rose though, really stopped after the physical appearance. This Rose never seemed to smile. It was as if someone sculpted her with a permanent scowl on her face. This Rose didn't laugh at his stupid jokes, she would just give him a weird look and continue with her homework.

But this was the day that would end.

This was the day the Doctor would make Rose Tyler smile.

...

Rose slammed down her pencil and huffed in frustration, "I can't do it," she declared. "It's impossible."

"Oh, nothing is impossible," the Doctor said readying his pun. "Except an antigravity book. It's impossible to put down."

Rose stared at him and then asked, "Did you just make a pun?"

"Maybe."

"How about you explain this problem?" she asked a little annoyed.

"Well, first you need to know the history of algebra," the Doctor grinned devilishly. "Do you know who invented algebra."

"I dunno? How'm I supposed to know?"

"It was invented by a clever X-pert."

"Are you trying to be funny, cause it's not working," Rose deadpanned.

"I wish I was a funny hill, because then I'd be hill-arius."

"Unless you want me to strangle you-"

"Why are you so negative? I'll have to take your absolute value," the Doctor fired back.

Rose looked at him for a moment before she cracked a small grin. The Doctor beamed back at her and said, "Did I just see a smile?"

"No."

"I think I did," the Doctor insisted.

Finally Rose burst out laughing and the Doctor grinned broadly. "There it is. First rule for doing math, laughing before a problem."

"Yep, all I need's my tutor... Well, you're not a teacher, more of a friend... Let's just call you an alge-bro, yeah?"

"You didn't," the Doctor gasped in shock.

"Beat that," Rose grinned.

"I'm glad I taught you well. You will make a good eye, the pupil, to be specific," the Doctor punned easily.

"That's pathetic."

"You're not giving me much to work with," the Doctor defended.

"I wish I was a frog," Rose said suddenly.

"Why?"

"Because they eat whatever bugs them," Rose said laughing at her own joke.

"Have you heard the pun about the roof?" the Doctor asked. "Oh, nevermind. It's over your head."

"Well, I'd tell you a story about a broken pencil, but it's pointless."

The Doctor paused and said, "Did you hear about the man who got his whole left side cut off? He's alright now."

"I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn't get a reaction," Rose joked easily.

"A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but then I realized toucan play at that game," the Doctor said.

Rose knit her eyebrows and muttered, "Sorry, I'm all out of puns."

"I'm the winner!" the Doctor exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah," Rose tried to sound cross but ended up laughing. "Anyway, back to algebra, yeah?"

"You're no fun," the Doctor puffed.

Rose laughed again and the Doctor grinned back. Even though it hurt everytime he looked at Rose Tyler, it was better to look at a happy Rose than a sad Rose.

...

And that's how the pun war began. Every week Rose would study up on pathetic puns and jokes before the Doctor came over. He and she would then keep a tally of how many puns they could slip into an hour long tutoring session. Maybe it was the Doctor's imagination, but Rose looked happier than before they started the pun war.

No, Pun War, it deserves capitalization.

From jokes about taking a day off at a calendar factory to balloons getting close to needles because they wanted to be a 'pop star', the Pun War added a fun element to the otherwise dull homework.

...

Two months after the pun war started, the Doctor found himself becoming a close friend to not only Rose, but Jackie.

The mere thought sends shivers down his spine, but it's true.

Jackie began to once again inviting the Doctor to stay for tea after his hour long tutoring session with Rose. It seemed that Jackie could be quite accommodating when he wasn't stealing her daughter away.

"Do you really want ten sugars in your tea?" Jackie asks this every time. Every time the Doctor replies with, "Yes, but eleven would be nice."

He would then mentally pat himself on the back for the good pun. This Pun War was really improving his punning skills.

"Do you ever get cavities?" Rose mused plopping two sugars into hers.

"No."

"You've gotta be kidding me," Jackie said. "What toothpaste do you use?"

"Er, uh, paste for teeth. Erm. Yeah," the Doctor stuttered. He couldn't say that he actually used toothpaste invented eight thousand years from now.

"Paste for teeth," Jackie repeated blandly giving the Doctor 'I think you're off your rocker' look. "I'll have to look for that in the shops."

"Use my name and you get half off," the Doctor said.

Rose snorted, "I'd be more likely to use your name when shopping for bowties."

"Bowties are cool," the Doctor defended.

"Yeah, sure, and that fez you came in last week," Jackie said.

"Fezes are cool!"

"Do you just have a format of 'insert article of clothing here's, are cool'?" Rose mused.

"Er, maybe," the Doctor admitted.

Jackie laughed and Rose gave a sort of half smile.

"Uh, mister Smith, I have to tell you something before you go," Rose said completely off subject.

"Mm?" the Doctor asked.

"There's gonna be no tudor session next week cause I'm celebrating my six month anniversary with my boyfriend. Just so you know," Rose looked awkwardly down at the floor.

Jackie rolled her eyes and interjected, "She doesn't want to tell you cause she thinks you'll be upset or something."

"Mum!" Rose exclaimed in embarrassment.

"If she gave her teachers half as much respect as she gives you, she wouldn't be in detention once a month."

"Mum," Rose said exasperatedly, "I've just never missed one of my tudor sessions, that's all. It just feels a little weird."

"It's fine," the Doctor said not mentioning that one week made no difference to him, he would just skip over it.

"See, I told you sweetheart," Jackie said. "Now why don't you drink your tea. It's rude to not drink tea that your given. Refusing tea is how wars start."

...

After tea with the Tylers (ooh, tea with the Tylers, that has a ring to it), the Doctor went back to the TARDIS and set the coordinates for two weeks later. With a pull of a lever, the TARDIS materialized and the Doctor stepped out.

The walk to the Powell estate was as normal as ever, except for the posters that now were nailed to every lamppost and available wall. The Doctor didn't notice them.

He saw the poster as he was walking up the staircase to the Powell estate. He didn't give it a second glance though, it was probably just a missing dog.

The Doctor knocked on the Tyler's door and waited for a few seconds. He knocked again after half a minute. He heard some shuffling and then a woman opened the door.

"Hello," she said.

"Er, hello, is Jackie home?" the Doctor asked.

"Yes, do you want to see her?" the woman asked.

"Not exactly, I have a tudor session with her daughter, Rose."

The woman looked at him oddly, "You haven't heard?" she asked incredulously.

"What? What haven't I heard?" the Doctor asked.

The lady hesitated and said, "Rose disappeared last week after her six month anniversary date with Jimmy Stone. Jackie isn't really in a fit state to see anyone right now. Er, I'm Bev, by the way. I'm looking after Jackie, for now. Uh, take a flyer. We're trying to pass them out."

Bev handed him one of the flyers that he had seen plastered everywhere.

And Rose's face was on the front.

A/N: I'll update on time, I promise! You won't be in suspense for long.

Thanks to my reviewers WonderfulWhovian (Thanks! I enjoyed writing younger Rose, but honestly like editing the older Rose chapters. Maybe it's because when I was writing for young Rose, it was almost a little more OC-like. And maybe in the future I'll explain why the TARDIS feels so strongly about the Doctor tutoring Rose...), and SilverDolphin218 (Three weeks without a laptop... Geez, I would go mad. I'm glad that the whole tudor vs tutor thing made sense. I got confused when spell check was changing around my tudor and tutor stuff, so I ended up learning a lot about that one verb and noun. Well, you learn something new every day!)

Rose is pink and yellow,

The TARDIS is blue,

I can't write poetry,

But I love reviews!

PS: Since Doctor Who: the Movie came out on bluray this week, I added in a little something from it in this chapter. Did anyone catch it?