10th September 2014

My birthday is wonderful. We go out for breakfast shortly after I'm dressed, and then Kate arranges a day at a theme park, a short drive from here. She always insists that I take moments like this to have fun and remember that I'm still young. Even if I do have a child. I need to be reminded of this, and I often forget, adding years onto my young age and not living life fully and cherishing these moments. I also often forget about myself. Being a mother, I obviously always put Lily's needs first, yet sometimes, I do not even think about my needs at all. Kate definitely helps with this, and she helps me to see that I do matter.

Ethan and his wife Emily (Kate's brother and sister-in law, and Sophia's parents) met us there it's been a long, super fun day, and I'm now sitting in my living room with Ray, Kate, Ethan and Emily, drinking wine and eating leftover birthday cake while watching friends reruns. Lily is nestled at my feet on the end of the couch, draped in a fluffy blanket, and Sophia is fast asleep on Emily's lap. They had an absolute blast and passed out around an hour ago. Bless their hearts.

"I'm glad you had a fun day Ana," Kate smiles over at me, taking a sip of her rose. She's bordering on tipsy right now and I know she'll be staying the night.

"I did."

"Are you seeing Christian again this week?"

I shoot a glare at my nearly drunk best friend. Both Ethan and Emily try not to giggle. Ray knows I've been on a few dates with a guy but that guy doesn't have a name yet. Well, the cats out of the bag now, and the more I think about it, the more I realise I don't want keep Christian a secret anymore. A man that strokes my hair, buys me flowers and gives me breath-taking pieces of art shouldn't be kept in the dark. He should be brought into the light, to shine in front of everyone.

"Tomorrow," I say.

"Where are you going?" She asks giddily, leaning forward slightly.

I shrug. "I'm not sure. We'll decide together."

"Aww."

"Christian eh?" Ray says, from opposite the room, finishing yet another slice of birthday cake.

"He's the man Ana's been dating," Kate replies.

"Thanks Kate, but I can speak for myself," I say, raising my eyebrows at her.

I look over to Ray and take a deep breath. "He is the guy I've been seeing." I confirm. "I know that I have Lily but..."

He cuts me off by putting his hand up in the air and shaking his head. I lean back, a little confused.

"No," he states. "I won't have any of that. You're the best mother in the world to that little girl. It's time for you to find somebody Ana. Somebody good and caring. Who treats you like the princess you are. As long as he treats you right and makes you happy, he's a star in my eyes."

I smile. "You're the best dad anybody could ever ask for," I say a little tearfully.

He smiles back and opens his mouth for more cake.

I know I can count on him to always be on my side no matter what.

Forever.


11th September 2014

The night continues on and true to form, Kate does end up staying. She fell asleep on the couch after her fourth drink, right before Ethan and Emily left. I also went to bed late, so when Christian phones me at practically dawn…I'm a little disorientated.

He phones me at 7am. I answer quite groggily because, let's face it, its 7am. Even Lily hasn't awoken me yet, demanding fruity loops like usual.

"Christian?" I say.

"I was wondering, if you like pancakes," he replies cheerily.

"Pancakes?" I answer confused. "Yeah, I like pancakes."

I sit up and run my fingers through my hair, trying my best to wake up.

"I thought you might like to go and grab breakfast with me?" He asks. I can almost hear the smile in his voice and that in turn, makes my own smile rise.

"I'd love to Christian," I say, "but I have Lily and she's still asleep. Ray has work and Kate is asleep... I don't have anyone to watch her."

There's a pause and I can feel disappointment rising within me. However, this is my life. I have a child, and if Christian truly wants to be with me, he has to realise that sometimes, I'm just unavailable.

"Does Lily like pancakes?" He then asks.

"Yes," I say instantly, without realising what he is implying. "Blueberry and chocolate chip ones are her favourite. She loves when I make them."

"Great. So it's a date for three then."

The realisation is sinking in, and now it's my turn to pause.

"You...want to meet Lily?" I ask.

"Of course I do. Why wouldn't I? She's your daughter Ana."

I shake my head. "I know, of course you do, it was silly of me to ask, but so soon? I...uh..."

I'm stuttering.

"You don't have to, if you don't want," he says quickly. "I don't want to put you under any pressure. I just thought it was a nice idea. I was going to take you to the pancake factory."

The pancake factory is a little pancake shop, quite a drive from here. About 40 minutes or so. I've taken Lily once before and she loved it there, but it is quite pricey so we haven't been since. They do every flavour pancake and waffles you could think of. It really is amazing.

Internally, I'm thinking through this decision. It's a big one. Lily meeting Christian. My worst fear with dating again is Lily getting attached and then us breaking up. I couldn't bear to see my little girl go through that kind of pain, but I'm torn. Life is a risk and I want her to meet Christian and vice versa. I have good feelings about this man, and I know, I'm just going to have to take a leap of faith and pray for the best.

Solidifying my decision, I take a deep breath and nod, even though Christian can't see me.

"Okay," I whisper. "We'll go."

"Great! I'll pick you up in half an hour?"

"Make it 45," I say, dragging myself out of bed.

"I'll see you then, My Ana."

I'm smiling day-dreamily as I hang up the phone.


Lily is in a happy mood this morning when I wake her up, which makes me happy. Things would be much more difficult if she'd woken up having a tantrum.

"Morning baby," I say, brushing her hair slowly as she sits in my lap. "Guess where we're going for breakfast today?"

"Where?"

"The pancake factory."

She squeals and turns in my arms, clapping her hands.

"Chocolate bluebewwie ones?" She asks.

I nod.

I brush a dark lock behind her ear and look into her soft powder blue eyes. She's such a mini me it's unbelievable.

"We're going to go with mommy's friend," I tell her.

"Aunt Kate?"

"No honey," I shake my head. "This is a new friend. He's called Christian."

"Christian." She repeats.

"Yes, are you going to be a good girl for me?"

She nods. I kiss the top of her messy bed hair and carry her into the bathroom.


Christian picks us up at 8:47. I roll my eyes because he's so precise. I'm holding onto Lily's hand, while she's clutching her teddy bear. I'm feeling very nervous for this meeting and I take deep breaths. I just pray that she likes him.

As soon as he steps inside, he strides over to me and kisses my cheek lovingly.

"Good morning honey," he smiles.

I feel my heart warm with tenderness. After he greets me, he bends down beside me, on Lily's level.

"And who do we have here?" He asks her.

I look down at my daughter who immediately grows shy and turns to bury her face into my leg.

"You must be Lily. Your mom has told me all about you little one. She also told me you like pancakes. Which ones are your favourite?"

She waits for a few seconds.

"Chocolate bluebewwie," she mumbles.

"Yeah? How many do you want today?"

"All of them," she murmurs.

Christian chuckles and stands up.

"She's adorable Ana," he grins. "And so beautiful. She looks exactly like you."

I nod. "She does."

"Well, let's go," he states, taking my hand, and leading us outside.

Christian has already brought a car seat for my daughter and she sits in the back, watching my little pony on her tablet for the duration of the drive.

"This was a very sweet idea," I say, turning to admire the morning sky from out of the window.

He squeezes my hand and brings it to his lips to kiss. I feel warm tingles down my spine from his touch and I take a deep breath. He has no idea, just how much he affects me.


We arrive to the pancake factory just a little after 8:30. Once were all sat down and settled, we order. Lily has her beloved chocolate and blueberry with maple syrup, I opt for banana chocolate with honey, and Christian has chocolate and strawberry with maple sure and cinnamon powder. He also buys us a plate of chocolate vanilla waffles to share. The food is absolutely heavenly and Lily has now woken up fully, and is talking to Christian.

"Why didn't you have bluebewwie ones?" She asks him.

"Well, today I really wanted strawberries. But next time, I'll have blueberries if you'd like."

"Tomorrow you'll have them?" Lily questions, stabbing at a a piece of waffle with her fork.

"Lily, we're not coming back here tomorrow," I tell her. "We're just here today honey."

"No," she pouts. "Everyday."

Christian and I both laugh and continue to eat.


"You're mommy's friend," she says to Christian, once were heading back out. She's now warmed up to him enough to hold his hand, and it's just about the most adorable sight I've ever seen.

They're walking slightly in front of me and it's a perfect candid moment.

"I am," he replies. I was hoping I could be your friend too."

"My friend?"

"Yes. Would you like that? Can I be your friend too?"

She thinks about it for a moment, pondering his request before finally agreeing.

"Yeah you can be my friend."


Christian drops us back after breakfast and Lily gives him a big hug and a wave before running back inside. I stand at my door to speak to him.

"Thank you for breakfast," I say to him, shifting from one foot to another. "I had a wonderful time, and so did Lily."

"As did I," he replies earnestly. He leans in to kiss me and it's all over far too quickly.

I can smell his signature cologne mixed with his own unique scent. A scent that I'd be able to find anywhere, in any lifetime. His hair is perfectly tousled, and his blue t-shirt is making me want to grab him by the collar and take him to my bedroom. I blush at my thoughts. I've never felt this way about a man before and it both thrills and scares me.

He strokes the side of my face with his finger when he pulls away, such a sweet gesture.

"I'll phone you later to arrange something for this week?"

I nod. I don't speak. Out of nowhere, I have this sudden urge to cry and it's very overwhelming. I don't want to say goodbye. I don't want him to leave. I want him to stay.

He turns to go and as he makes his way to his car, I step forward and shout out, unable to bear the separation.

"What are you doing for dinner tonight?" I ask him.

He walks back toward me with a smile on his face.

"Whatever is on Gale's menu today." He says, taking my hand at the same time. "Why? Did you have something else in mind?"

"I'm just cooking for Lily and I," I tell him. "There's definitely room for one more, if you'd like."

"I'd love that," he grins. "What time?"

"7?"

"Sounds perfect."

He kisses me again before he leaves and I turn around, feeling like the happiest girl in the world.


Hi guys. It's been a month since my life update post and I've been working on and off with this chapter pretty much ever since. I really hope you enjoyed it, and as always, tell me what you think by leaving a review. I want to say thank you to everyone who left reviews/PM's wishing me well and hoping that I get better. Your kind words all mean so much. I'm on a road to recovery and the love and support from you guys definitely helps and it's part of the reason I wanted to get this chapter out to you for you to read. I hope to be able to update again soon and I feel I will, especially if you guys continue to support me and give me the needed encouragement.

I checked the poll results on my page and almost all of you voted to change the rating up to an M so that has been granted and next chapter, I'm hoping for something a little steamier…and sexier, but very tasteful as this is a full on love and family story.

Please please remember to review and take care. Until next time! Elizabeth x