Chapter Eight
Save Me
"Tati? Are you awake my dear," a certain gray clothed wizard asked cautiously, knocking softly on the door that contained the raven haired girl he had hoping to see. He would admit, he still felt guilt from all that he had put her through the night prior, and wished to apologize for leaving her as such. He was well aware of how anxious and nervous the girl got around new people, or people she just didn't know well enough, and he had left her with a hobbit she had just met, whose house was soon filled with a bunch of rowdy dwarves that she didn't know at all as well, who probably made her more uncomfortable than not.
He could see she got along fine with Bilbo, something he predicted would happen.
"Y-yes Gandalf, I am. You c-can come in," her meek voice sounded through the layer of wood, soft and on the quiet side as always.
And she was stuttering. Now Gandalf felt even guiltier; it had only been a couple days ago when she had been talking to him as good as anyone.
Pushing the door open, Gandalf came in view of Tati, who was just putting on her socks, already garbed in a regular black tunic, regular trousers (that held thick material so that she could stay warm on the more colder days), and finally boots made for traveling sitting next to her feet. It had been Jack who had gone and gotten her some clothes to wear, saying that he didn't want her to come back only to be sickly from not having suitable clothes for such a lengthy trip.
"My dear, I apologize for leaving you with Bilbo yesterday, as well as the other members of our company. I know that must've made you uncomfortable, and I am sorry for putting you in that type of position," he stated sincerely as his hand moved to her shoulder, giving it a slight squeeze in comfort. He had taken notice beforehand that her shoulders had been locked into a stiff position, obviously taking in mind of the events that would happen today. She was anxious, which Gandalf understood just fine.
Finally, her form relaxed as her hazel orbs darted up to his, offering the gray bearded wizard a timid, yet genuine, smile. "T-thank you Gandalf, it's alright, really. I d-did fine, besides, I need to come out of my sh-shell sometime," Tati answered back sweetly, already feeling ten times better. Even as the quest loomed over of her head like a storm cloud, it already made the girl feel better knowing that there was someone by her side that would be with her through it all.
"You take all the time you need Tati, some things should never be forced." He reminded, his paternal instincts kicking in as they usually always do whenever he was with Tati. "I'll see you in a little while; I'm going to go finish getting ready myself. Will you be alright?" Gandalf finished as he gave her shoulder one last squeeze, straightening back up to his full height.
"I-I'll be fine." She answered rather grudgingly, though the thought of being left alone with the people she barely even knew made her nerves on her skin spike back up, her heart starting to beat a little harder. "I-I mean… I know I'll have to talk to them sooner or later, s-so it's best to start now. I'm just… still nervous." Tati admitted as she rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly, something that caused the older man to smile.
"You don't have to rush yourself, my dear, just do it at a pace that you feel comfortable at." Watching intently as the black haired girl reconsidered his words, he found himself pleased as she nodded after a moment later, a small smile lighting up on her face.
"Thank you Gandalf." She said softly, her velvety voice humming as she did so.
Watching as the gray clothed wizard left her room, Tati sighed to herself quietly, yet this time, a small smile formed at the corners of her lips, lighting up her features.
I shouldn't be so down. She reminded herself as she gazed with slight happiness at the door at which the wizard had left in, warmth filling the empty holes of her heart. After all, I am doing this for Gandalf; he deserves to have someone by his side on this dangerous quest, and after all the kind things he's done for me, I owe him more than anyone. I mean, I've never had that sort of kindness bestowed on me before, at least, until I met him.
Sighing one last time, Tati slung the strap of her bag over her shoulder, feeling a bit better than she had before; she felt… more determined.
OOO
Adding the final adjustments to the bags she was currently packing on, the black haired girl stood back for a second to admire her work, patting the pony softly on the back as she did so. She was rewarded with a small, content huff, something that caused her hazel orbs to soften.
Somewhere in her being that wasn't still trying to comprehend the fact that she was now in a whole other world, Tati had been appalled at how small she had become; which she had realized only a couple days after Gandalf's rescue. In truth, the girl hadn't been all that big in her old world; she had been shorter than most, yet, had remained above four foot, and her body had always been petite sized. But her size now, was definitely smaller than she had originally been, and she still had to get used to the fact that she would be even smaller to other people than she had been before.
Tati was not looking forward to having to literally look up to people even more.
Moving away from her stead, Tati glanced over at the door to Bilbo's home, finding herself slightly frowning when she still had yet to see Bilbo at all. She knew that he had been afraid of what might come on this journey, it had been obvious from the way he had passed out thought Tati would instantly admit that if it hadn't been for Dwalin, she would've had the same fate as the hobbit. But in light, she had been hoping that Bilbo would've changed his mind, and had hoped that he would be coming out of that door any second now, informing her that he decided to join the company.
But Tati could clearly see now that it was not the case.
Letting a bit of disappointment consume her features, her eyes drifted to the ground, slightly saddened that she wouldn't have another soul to speak to that she had grown comfortable with.
"You look depressed lassie," a familiar voice popped up, seeming out of nowhere, causing the girl in return to jump slightly before flinching. Her eyes moved upwards to find a certain burly dwarf staring straight back at her, his arms crossed with an unknown emotion flashing in his eyes. Frowning slightly, Dwalin felt a bit guilty for scaring, especially since he knew the girl was practically on edge all the time, however, old habits die hard, and not once had Dwalin ever apologized to anyone except his king. And even though he felt the urge to spout out a sorry, he held himself back, pushing away the confusing feelings as he went back onto the task at hand.
"Oh-h, I'm f-fine," She stated softly, her fingers twitching just a bit as she tried to hold back her natural habit with fiddling with her fingers. Though for a reason she had yet to understand, she didn't feel as twitchy and nervous with Dwalin as she usually is with others she hadn't known very long, or, at all.
Tati, instead, felt… safe. Like he wasn't some vile person with secret intentions nor someone so quick to judge her.
Swallowing as she felt an unfamiliar burn on her cheeks, she forced her hazel eyes upwards, staring intently back into his own light blue ones. They gazed at each other for a minute, not even realizing what was happening until Tati felt her once gone nerves spike up again, ripping her vision away from his.
"Hmf," Dwalin hummed, his eyes becoming stern. "Have ye eaten breakfast yet," he asked in his usual gruff voice, even though he already knew the answer. Having ignored all the confusing emotions that had been irking him, Dwalin had found himself searching for a certain raven haired, noting that she hadn't been there to eat breakfast with the others, and that no one but that wizard dressed in gray garb had seen her.
Instead of analyzing his strange behavior further, he simply just assumed it was because the girl was incredibly small, and if she was going to survive a long journey as the one they were going on, well, she was going to need more meat on her bones than that.
"Um-m, n-no, I haven't y-yet," she grudging admitted, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly as her gaze darted to side, obviously shameful. Tati was still replaying what had happened only the night before where she had skipped out on her meal (after Dwalin had forcefully tried to get her to eat), only for him to catch her later on and force her to eat once more.
"Hm, c'mon," was all he said, before he gently, yet firmly, grabbed her arm, pulling the girl inside the dainty hobbit home.
Why am I… Why am I not freaking out? Tati's thoughts questioned as she allowed the burly dwarf to pull her inside, her eyes mixed with confusion, and wonderment, her rather widened orbs glancing down at the meaty hand gripping her fair skinned arm. Usually whenever I'm touched I start panicking and freak out, especially if it was someone I barely know… So why don't I start to panic when he touches me? Why do I… feel like I am safe with him… She pondered to herself, but then, a thought struck her, one that wasn't too farfetched, but had yet to hit it's mark.
It was because of last night, when he had defended me… It had been twice that night where he had taken care of me when he didn't have to… Yes, that's definitely it, it's because he had helped me when he didn't have to, Tati realized with a rather brighter than usual smile tugging at her lips as oblivious as ever Dwalin set her in a seat, giving her a stern and hardened stare, that surprisingly, didn't affect her at all. "Stay." He commanded before he left the room, leaving the girl all to her lonesome self with a smile caught onto her face.
And he felt his lips twitch slightly in the urge to grin back.
OOO
Icy, sharp eyes ran over the entire company, watching everyone intently and in a protective manner, especially when they eyes ran over a familiar cheeky duo that was currently bantering to each other. To him, they were family (some being actual blood, while others were not), and soon, they would head out and fight together as friends and comrades to reclaim their home. Soon, they would head out, and be at least one step closer to finally getting rid of that retched dragon that had haunted their dreams for many years.
He had waited for what seemed like forever to get to this point, and now, here he was.
Yet, there was just one more matter in the way.
Despite what most would assume, Thorin held no ill feelings towards the black haired girl. However (coming from a background that honored their females), realizing, after mush experience in battling, he knew that she was not ready to put into a fight. And so, the dwarven king planned on trying his hardest to convince the girl to stay here, in the peaceful Shire, where it was safe.
The lands that they we're about to venture through weren't meant for gentlefolk like her, Thorin thought to himself, waiting patiently for a certain medium haired ravenette to appear.
After a few moments, he heard the creak of a door opening, and as he turned his gaze towards the front, he found his one of the most trusted men, Dwalin, walking out with Tati following closely behind, seeming more content with being around him than she had last night being around the others. Frowning as he crossed his arms across his chest, he analyzed he two for a second, deciding not the approach the girl right away. Dwalin isn't known for his friendliness, or for being approachable. Thorin thought to himself, his eyes narrowing when he caught Tati flashing a shy smile Dwalin's way after he had said something, and the burly dwarf in question simply nodded, though after years of knowing the other dwarf, he knew that there was smile lingering in his eyes, even though it was mostly hidden away. Dwalin as well was also acting a bit different, not nearly as closed off and cold as he usually is (yet, he noticed it was only really around that girl).
I don't what is with him, Thorin sighed to himself, finding yet another reason as to why the black haired girl shouldn't be allowed to go on this quest.
Thorin then strutted up to the two, stopping right in front of Tati as she (seemingly on instinct) nervously gripped her hands, the expression on her face suddenly becoming more on edge than the joyful expression marring her features only seconds earlier.
"Can I talk to Miss Tati alone," Thorin asked Dwalin, though it was more of command that anything as he ignored Tati for a moment, in his vain attempt to calm the girl down a bit before he spoke to her. The other burly dwarf could clearly hear the clear power he used in his voice, and complied.
Dwalin simply nodded almost gingerly, patting Tati on the shoulder lightly as he moved away; and even though he walked off without a glance back, the king could see the slight hesitation in Dwalin's eyes right before he left, something that the raven haired dwarf noted in his mind for later matters.
Thorin waited until he was completely away before he turned his full attention back onto Tati, who was involuntarily cowering under his heavy gaze, nervously nibbling at her lip. The king sighed inwardly for a moment, cursing the gray wizard for a moment for putting him in such a position, this could've been easily been avoided, Thorin's thought grumbled. "Miss Tati," he stated, attempting to ignore the way she flinched under his sharp gaze before she willed herself to stare him in the eyes; something that appeared to take all her willpower to do. "You are aware of what this quest requires of you, are you not?" he asked, lifting his chin up as Thorin allowed a power-filled aura to surround him.
Licking her lips, Tati answered back, "Y-yes, I-I-I a-am," she mumbled in her soft voice, so quiet that the king nearly hadn't heard her.
"Then you know that deciding to stay here, in the Shire, would be safer for you," he continued.
"Y-yes," she mumbled again, the apples of her cheeks tinting a light pink at the direct attention she was getting from the older man. His gaze was heavy, commanding, ice-cold, and even though the hazel eyed girl knew not to judge a book by its cover, it still made her anxious, causing her stomach to churn uncomfortably.
"Then why don't you," Thorin asked bluntly, crossing his arms as he continued to gaze at the nerve wracked girl, feeling a strange twinge of guilt as he watched her flinch another time underneath his hard stare.
"W-well, b-because of G-g-gandalf," Tati stuttered as her fingers twiddled faster, her voice rising up a bit. "If-f it wasn't f-for him, I w-would be dead. H-he saved me, w-when others would n-not… I o-owe him." She admitted, her eyes suddenly becoming increasingly softer and less guarded as she thought as the older man who had become like a grandfather in her eyes.
"If you go on this quest," the king rumbled out, inwardly appraising the girl just the slightest. Though he believed her to be foolish to go on such a dangerous mission with no fighting experience whatsoever, he also wasn;t blind to the fact that what she was doing was brave, and displayed friendship of the purest form. "There is a very high chance you won't make it back alive, or at least, without some scars to remind you."
Finally, Tati manage to muster enough to courage to give the king a small smile, though he eyes remained nervous as she did so. "I-I k-know, and I d-don't want to g-get into anybody's w-way. Bu-but, I would b-be willing t-to d-do anything f-for Gandalf." She answered softly, her eyes gazing downwards softly, the tiniest smile playing at her lips.
Yes, I would do anything for the first person to ever show me kindness without some ulterior motive behind it, she thought to herself faintly, Jack's kind smiles whenever he chatted to her flashing inside her head.
She glanced back up quick enough to catch the small nod Thorin gave her, clear displeasure playing at the frown on his lips. He seemed to want to say more, his mouth twitching to command her to stay back in the small hobbit town. However the second he caught sight of Gandalf, the dwarven king knew that he had to let it go for now, taking in the heated glare sent his way by the gray dressed wizard.
Huffing irritably, he turned back to Tati. "Very well," he grounded out, fighting his stubborn side that was just urging for him to take some type of action; and he would admit, he really want to let it take control, but knew how touchy the wizard got concerning the girl, and could feel the guilt piling up inside of him at seeing her fearful eyes stare back at him (yet, at the same time, it just proved that the black haired girl needed to stay behind all the more). "But if you decided to leave the company at one of our stops, no one will blame you." He finished, his icy blue orbs becoming the tiniest bit softer when he saw that she had stopping playing with her fingers.
Giving a small glance around, he nodded to himself. "Alright, let's move out."
To be continued…
A/N: Oh my gosh, I will admit, this took me a long while to write. I just wasn't very inspired to work on it is all. Sorry, I know it's been longer than all my other updates. I didn't grammar check my last part so I hope everything is okay. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR ALL THE REVIEWS!
