A/N: I do not own Harry Potter if I did then it would turn out something like this…
Chapter 7: Operation G.H.O.A.T. pt. 1
July 1st 1996, Early morning,
Basement, No. 13 Grimmauld Place
Inside the basement of the newly minted Dursley family, hidden by the shadows of a dark corner two plush like dolls were in the middle of their secret meeting.
The male plush had bat like wings, devil like horns and tail. All that was missing to be the typical devil that the comic books portrayed was a pitchfork. It's appearance was a reflection of his, and in turn his master's personality; smart, sly and cunning.
He was leaning on to a doll sized teacher's desk, behind him a small doll sized black board where a stick man was drawn. In front of him, sitting behind a doll sized school desk was the other chibi, the female one.
She, like the male one, bore a cartoonish resemblance to her human size counterpart Hermione Dursley née Granger. She, contrary to the male one, had angel white feather wings, no tails nor horn. Her face was the picture of pure innocence. "Chibi?", she asked.
Chibi Hadrian was in the middle of teaching Chibi Hermione the way she could locate her counterparts magical core.
"Track the core. Track the core. Track the core.", said the doll size replica of Hadrian.
"Chibi.", nodded with affirmation the other doll.
Chibi Hadrian's eye ticked in annoyance, for some yet unexplained reason Chibi Hermione can only say chibi. Absent mindedly he wondered if he didn't summon a Pokémon by accident. That was the last time he would use a ritual from The Necronomicon. Which did remind him… where did he leave the book. 'Oh well it will turn up eventually', he thought.
Exact same time,
At the current location of The Necronomicon
"The horror! The horror" , the man screamed.
"Get it off me, please for the love of all that is holy get if off me.", the other yelled.
"Mommy…", whimpered the third as he held a gun to the side of his head, hoping that he could end his life before the monster would get him.
.oOo.
Sometime later,
Living room No. 13 Grimmauld Place
Hadrian was sitting in the living room of his house annoyed and irritated. Hadrian was the type of person who would pass over all the positive in his life and dwell on the negative. Sure he had a kinky wife with the body of a super model, the normal kind not the ones that look like they have anorexia, sleeping peacefully inside their bedroom after another night filled with screaming orgasms. Sure he was clad only in a pair of boxers with a dozen sexual poses, all crossed out with marker, signifying that he already done that. Still he could only think about the negative, namely that he had concocted the Perfect Plan, written with capital letters, to steal Hogwarts and he needed to wait until September to even start.
While sulking he heard the commotions of his neighbors yelling and just being their usual selves. Remembering the old saying Sharing is caring, he decided to walk next door to see what misery he could inflict upon them.
He walked towards the lingering gaping hole that no one has noticed so far. 'Talking about being hidden in plain sight.' he thought. He crossed the boundaries entering a scene of utter chaos. Now Hadrian could calm his presence better than any ninja with the practice he had with his aunt and uncle not to mention the additional practice in Hogwarts making him invisible to the naked eye, but seeing everyone in the state of disarray he just didn't bother.
Unsurprisingly no one noticed.
He walked down into the kitchens to see if he could steal some breakfast. Luckily for him he found that no one bothered to put the remaining food away. Leaning next to the table he started eating the leftovers, which considering the amount Molly Weasley cooked, could be considered a regular three course meal.
"BUT MOM!" yelled one of the redheads, Don, Ran or was it Ron? "school is over, why do we have to go back!?"
Hadrian could hear a deep sigh. "The Headmaster asked us nicely to help with the preparations for the graduation on the 21st. Besides he wants to work with Chris on something secret."
"Chris always gets everything. Chris is the chosen one. Chris is the heir to the Potter fortune…"
"Now now, stop sulking and get yourself inside the fireplace. The Headmaster connected the house directly to the school so we have an easier way to get past all the wards and doors. It's connected to an abandoned classroom so we don't cause a ruckus."
There was a minute of silence before the younger voice spoke again. "Isn't that stupid?"
"Really? What could happen?"
A light bulb went off above Hadrian's head. If Hadrian were to actually turn around he would have seen Chibi Hermione holding a glowing light bulb above his head.
Before he could leave to implement the Greatest Heist Of All Time (or G.H.O.A.T. for short), Sirius Black entered the kitchen. Hadrian froze. Sirius looked the unknown kid over from top to bottom. He stopped when he reached his boxers. A small smile formed on his face. Sirius looked back at the kid's face and gave him a thumbs up before turning and leaving. Walking out Hadrian could hear "Like mother like daughter, gotta break the news to Arthur, sad sad."
Hadrian, blinking away the confusion, dashed away leaving a trail of dust behind him.
.oOo.
Hermione blinked the sleep out of her eyes. She stretched. Groaned. Threw her hands to her side to find nothing.
'Oh boy. It's one of those days again.' She thought with a mental sigh.
Most of the days Hadrian would be the one sleeping in; not wanting to leave the comforts of their warm bed for anything in the world. He would lazily caress her slowly and gently waking her up.
Then there are days when she wakes up in a cold bed. Nor hair nor hide of Hadrian in sight for hours on end. Maybe even gone for days only to turn up at the most random of places of random of times.
Like on the rooftop of a church …cackling like a madman …pretending (hopefully he was pretending) to be the prophet of a zombie apocalypse until a big enough crowd formed up, only to jump down and start selling shotguns at a discount price.
Girls, even adult women, when confronted with their partner being gone for a long period of time would start to think the worst; that their partners are cheating on them, that they are not enough for them, that they have unrealized desires that only other people could meet. In another universe in another time Hermione might have been considered an insecure, self-conscious person with such a low amount of self-confidence that her first reaction to being asked out by a pretty guy was to think that it was a set up, but not this Hermione. She is confident in her abilities, her talents and her appearance to be able to fully satisfy her man. Her case is special. The reason why Hadrian disappears on occasion is simple, Hadrian Dursley is insane.
Not to mention Hermione could feel Hadrian's evil laugh through their bond.
Mentally she flipped a coin to see if she should stop Hadrian before he reaches full steam or to just sit back and watch the train wreck.
Heads. 'Damn', she thought.
Hermione got up, put on her magical equivalent of a S.W.A.T. suit and went down to face the music.
She looked around in the living room, examining the clues to find out what could have gone through that thick skull of his.
She gave up after 5 seconds, she never was the Sherlock and Watson type so she cast a spell to reveal Hadrian's footprints for the last few hours.
She followed the footprints down the stair which she came inside the living room. The footprints clustered around the sofa indicating that he spent some time sitting there. The footprints then lead of to the fireplace, next to the fireplace, on the wall next to the fireplace, ON THE FUCKING CEILING above the fireplace.
Wow. Hermione knew that Hadrian pissed on the rules but she never thought he also included the rules of gravity.
The footprints, continued in a circle indicating that he started pacing in circles wearing a groove in the floor, (or ceiling, depending how technical one wants to be), then walking back down and exiting the room via the hole in the wall.
Inside the neighbor's living room she saw the footprints going down into the basement, but before she could continue the trail she found an envelope taped to the fireplace with the words Hermione on them.
The letter read:
Dear Hermione,
left to achieve G.H.O.A.T. at Hogwarts,
floo address is abandoned classroom.
Sincerely, The Greatest Mind in the Galaxy H.
Hermione was so confused with the letter that she did not notice Chibi Hadrian flying behind her back carrying a satchel with the Weasley family crest on it, saying. "Steal the gold. Steal the gold. Steal the gold."
Incidentally neither did Chibi Hadrian notice Chibi Hermione following him with a disapproving scowl on her face, muttering "Chibi" under her breath.
.oOo.
Sometime later….
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Hermione was starting to become frustrated. She tried to track down Hadrian but the over-energized bunny just keeps evading her. The most frustrating part was that she couldn't even get mad at him because she knows that it is unintentional. Hadrian, when he puts his mind on something, becomes an unstoppable juggernaut while Hermione was still mortal.
She glanced over to see the door to her precious library. If she could only take a small book-break as she called them this trip might be even worthwhile for her. Alas Hogwarts: A History! states that the most comprehensive and largest library in all of magical Britain is heavily guarded not only by wards but by the staff who frequently dwell into deep academic research.
About the same time she thought that the door to the library creaked open.
Hermione's eye ticked in annoyance.
After a thorough examination Hermione concluded that the standards at Hogwarts had dropped significantly since the publication of Hogwarts: A History!
- The library is not under any ward
- The library is not visited by the staff in the summer
- The library door is not locked
- The library door is not even closed properly
Even one of those would send Hermione into a rage but now, right now all of the facts just put a smile on her face.
Her fingers twitched. Sadly she couldn't pull a Hadrian and just make the library disappear but she could do the next best thing.
.oOo.
20 days until Graduation
Secret Chamber, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Power. If anyone saw the scene in the Chamber of Secrets that would be the word that came to their minds. Pure archaic power.
Hadrian was levitating inside the middle of the Chamber using his raw power to jackhammer runes unto the floor of the chamber anchoring the surrounding earth to the foundation of Hogwarts.
.oOo.
14 days until Graduation
Outer wall, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Hadrian always wondered about the power of money and what it could achieve as he was dangling in the middle of the outer walls of Hogwarts castle. He was sitting on a school bench fastened to an old fashion pulley system. He had asked the goblins to mass produce special plates which he was melting onto the west wall of the castle. At first they said they needed 3 months to complete the project. As Hadrian doubled the amount he was willing to pay so did the production time decrease by half. He idly wondered if there was an amount which would have made the production time go into negative.
.oOo.
8 days until Graduation
On top of the Divination Tower, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Hadrian, as he was skillfully using a blowtorch to weld, was doing a bit of introspection. He realized that when his hands are doing repetitive work, like weeding the garden, peeling potatoes, cooking or using the occasional blowtorch his mind likes to wander. Right now he is wondering about Einstein's statement about infinity. He states that only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and while he wasn't an astrophysicist he was heavily banking on the latter to be true so that people don't notice the small (read: obvious) modifications to the castle.
Also as the deadline was crawling closer he was starting to become more frantic and sloppy. He almost had a heart attack yesterday when he saw that the container of highly volatile explosives, nitroglycerin to be precise, at the entry hall that he left was being used by Hagrid of all people as a substitute for a chair.
Meh, worst case he'll just die his hair red and hide at the Burrow. One or more redhead won't stand out.
With that last thought he finished installing the dome radar on top of the astronomy tower.
Hopefully nobody will notice that the top of the tower became less pointier and more spherical.
.oOo.
AN: The first who guesses how Harry plans to steal the castle gets to tell me what he wants in an omake and I'll write it. Please publish your idea in a review.
Also if you want you can also try to guess what Hermione plans to do with the library. No rewards will be issued for anyone who guesses that.
AN2: No Dahlia, you cannot have a guess.
AN3: A lot of people will ask why I made this a cliffhanger. Simple. This is all I have written so far. I'll be busy for the next 2 weeks on a research topic so it was either the whole chapter in 2 or 3 weeks or half now the other half later.
