Time slowed to a standstill as Kaidan and Shepard regarded each other across the few feet that separated them. From the tension sizzling in the air, the distance might as well have been miles. He couldn't breathe; could barely think. He'd hoped - they'd all hoped, but... There had never been a sign that Shepard had survived the final battle. Even the STG forces they'd spoken to on Sur'Kesh, once they'd gotten the Normandy to the staging area, had never so much as hinted that the commander still lived.

She watched him anxiously, her mind filling in where her traitorous vision fuzzed and distorted his features. Memory gave her his chocolate eyes and strong, stubborn chin; his broad jaw and soft lips. Through the fog, she could see additional lines seaming his face, knew there was more silver in his dark hair. She shifted from foot to foot, arms tucked awkwardly behind her as she stared at him, wary of his reaction. Last time she'd come back from the dead, Horizon had been the result. As the moment stretched on towards infinity, however, her never-great store of patience gave. "Kaidan?" she croaked.

That single word broke his stasis, and with a choked sob, Kaidan covered the gap in two swift strides. He reached out, hands gripping her shoulders as he drew her across the last inches. For one brief eternity, he stared into her eyes, then dragged her into his arms, locking them around her hard enough to twinge her healing ribs. He buried his face in her shoulder, choking out a single word: "Shepard."

Curving her arms around his waist, Shepard curled her fingers into the cloth of his tunic, holding him as tightly as he gripped her. Her forehead rested on his shoulder, eyes closed as she fought to control the emotions storming through her. She felt the tension in his lean, muscular frame; felt the way his spine vibrated, his muscles quivered. She felt him easing back and tightened her own grip, locking her arms in place about his waist. "No. Don't. Not ever."

Her quiet words, half-command, half-plea, broke through the iron bands he'd wrapped about his heart. He drew in a ragged breath, then let it out on a sob. He could feel the tears starting, sliding, rolling down his cheeks. His body shuddered against hers, his arms locked like steel about her too-thin frame, refusing to let go. "I'm not going anywhere," he managed between quiet sobs. "Never again."

She felt wonder as she held his shuddering body against her own; never before had she seen her stoic, solid Kaidan lose control this way. Even after Earth, after Thessia, after the mess on the Citadel, she couldn't remember seeing him break down. No, it had been she who'd lost it, he who'd comforted. She found the role-reversal interesting... and heartening. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath of that warm, musky scent that was uniquely Kaidan and held on tight.

Moments or millennia, the time that passed as they held each other in shared comfort was irrelevant. Eventually, the storm of grief and shock and joy ran its course, and Kaidan eased his grip on Shepard, lifting his head from her shoulder. She raised her own head, green eyes meeting brown, and drew one hand up to touch his cheek. He gazed at her across the intervening inches, then stole a march on them and her, leaning forward to press his lips gently to her own.

It was sweet, that kiss - honey, her mind whispered with pleasure as her lips brushed over his, parting slightly as his head tilted to the side, deepening the angle. His broad, clever hands ran up and down her arms from shoulders to wrists. Too long since last this connection, and she felt her cheeks grow damp as tears streamed down them, salting their kiss. He drew away, nipping lightly at her lower lip before that final parting, and she sighed. "Mmmhmm," he murmured - smugly, came the thought unbidden, chuckling across her mind.

"Kaidan." His name sighed from her lips, and he felt his lips quirk in his trademark half-grin. He reached up to catch her chin between his thumb and forefinger, watched her eyes flutter closed at his touch. "Kaidan," she murmured again. "Hackett..."

"No," he said mildly, and watched her eyes fly open. "Hackett can wait. The Alliance can wait. The whole bloody galaxy can wait. I have things I need to say, and damn it, I need to be with you." The shock in her eyes amused him; the pleasure made him grin boyishly. "I have a few things to get off my chest. Now, before... whatever." He rubbed his thumb along her chin. "First of all, I have to tell you, never again. Three times I've left you when you needed me most. Never again."

Her brow furrowed as she struggled to understand. "Three times? Kaidan, you've never let me down..." She trailed off as he shook her chin slightly, startled by the unexpected forcefulness from the normally mild-mannered major.

"When the Collectors destroyed the Normandy, I should have been at your side. Instead, I got into that escape pod." The major's expression was bleak, his skin just a little pale. When she opened her mouth to protest, he covered it with a finger. "I should not have left you. I shouldn't have left you on Horizon. I let my prejudice against Cerberus make me forget my duty to you, as my commander, as my friend, as the woman I love. I know if I had tried, I could have gotten leave to serve with you, but I couldn't look past Cerberus."

"Well, I won't argue that I could have used you, but Kaidan, you stood up for what you believed. How could you know I was right, I was real? Who knew what Cerberus had done to me when they brought me back?" Abruptly, she gave a short laugh. "Huh. Didn't know I'd gotten over that. Truth is, Kaidan, I don't know that I would have trusted you if things were reversed."

His thumb brushed lightly over her lower lip, melting brown eyes warm as he gazed down at her. "Regardless, I let you go on what amounted to a suicide mission without me. I should have been there. If Tali and Garrus, or, hell, Jack, could work with Cerberus, why couldn't I?" He shook his head, sighed that short, choppy sigh of his. "Then... There was London."

"No." It was Shepard's turn to silence him with a hand over his mouth, green eyes fierce as she stared up at him. "No. You were there, all the way to the beam. I made you leave, and I don't regret that one bit. If you had stayed... Kaidan, if you had stayed, you would have died. And I wouldn't be here right now, because without you, without knowing you were waiting for me, I wouldn't have had the strength to hold on. You were there when I needed you most, in my heart."

He reached up and took her hand in his, curling his fingers with hers as he gazed down at her. "I love you," he said simply. "I love you and I can't lose you again. There aren't words for how these past months have been for me. All that kept me together was getting the Normandy back together and getting the crew home. Once that was done..." He trailed off, chocolate eyes distant. "I finally understood Javik."

Shepard tilted her head to the side, brow furrowing in confusion, then her eyes widened in horror. "No, Kaidan," she whispered, her fingers digging into his hand as she tugged him closer. He shook his head.

"No. No, I'm not a coward, and I'm not the last of an entire race. What Javik did, taking the ship when we reached Anslar and heading off... That was in memory of something far greater than lost friends, or even a lost love. But I did understand, however briefly, what it meant to lose everything you lived for." Kaidan reached up with his free hand, brushing his fingers along her cheek. "Part of me would have died with you. Not all of me... Too much to do, too much to live for.. But yes, part of me. The best part."

"Kaidan." Undone, she stepped backwards, arm outstretched to hunt for the chair. He caught her by the waist and swung around, sliding into the chair and pulling her to his lap. He tucked his arms about her and cradled her against him. She sighed, resting her forehead against his as she slid her arms around his neck.

"I didn't mean to get all sappy, Shepard. It's just... seeing you. I knew. Part of me knew. They wanted me to put your name on the memorial wall, but... I couldn't. It didn't feel right. But no one would tell me anything. So I just... held on to the plaque and hoped." His forehead against hers, he gazed into her eyes, holding her close. "When this is over, when we can finally relax, you and I have a lot to talk about."

"I look forward to it," Shepard replied earnestly. She might have said more, but a discreet buzz at the door had her sliding from his lap, tugging at her tunic as the door cycled open. Garrus peeked in around the corner, his expression relieved as both Alenko and Shepard smiled at him. "Alright, major," she said briskly, "shall we see what the Admiral has in store for us?"

"On your order, Commander," Alenko replied, suppressed laughter in his voice as he rose to his feet, pulling his uniform straight. Shepard grinned dizzily at him, then led the way out of the room, Kaidan and Garrus at her heels.

Exactly as it should be.