FAIRY TAIL CHAPTER EIGHT
Disclaimer: I do not receive profit for this. It's for enjoyment and all that jazz.
THE PAST
The pain
It's determined and demanding
To ache, but I'm okay
...
You lost, a part of your existence
In the war, against yourself
Oh, the lights,
They light up in lights of sadness
Telling you, it's time to go
-"The Fault in Our Stars" by: Troye Sivan
She didn't expect her limbs to freeze in recognition. So when it happened, she spent a good amount of time in her mind telling herself that it wasn't true. She was horrified. What kind of a person does such horrible things to an innocent person that they can't even talk about it? What kind of animal relished in the pain and suffering of others? She was absolutely sick. This Golem person was the scum of the earth and she was related to him?
"Nii-san," Natsu repeated slowly. Kiyomi flinched. She had long ago turned away from him in favor of once again facing the fire. The silence that had taken place after her rather blunt admission nearly killed her with the stress it incited. "So, he's your brother? That's what you're trying to tell me?"
Did he really have to make her say it again? Yes… YES! He's my fucking brother. Do need it in goddamned writing too? "Yes," she said quietly.
"H-How?"
Her temper flared and her eyes flashed magenta, but she still refused to turn around. "How else do you think Natsu?" she asked tiredly. She wanted to fight but mostly she really just wanted to lie down and take a nap. A drink wouldn't hurt either really. "When a man and a woman love each-"
"Spare me the sarcasm Kiyomi!" She flinched again at the biting tone of his voice. "And will you turn the fuck around so we can talk about this?!"
When she did turn around, she was all too aware of the tears that had started to stream down her face. The self-deprecation that stained her eyes. "What do you want from me?" she whispered. "What do you want? Do you want to leave? There's the door. I won't fight you over him. He's not worth it." She wished he would scoop her up and tell her that it's okay. Usually, this would be the time he started to comfort her, but he maintained his distance and that broke her heart. "I wish it were different. I wish that I was actually an orphan. I want it all to be a bad dream, but it's not. So do what everyone else had done, leave me."
"I-is he the reason?"
"What?"
"Is he the reason you went to the Spell Weaver? Is it because of your nii-san?"
She graced him with a cynical smile. "Yes that was partly the reason." She sighed and collapsed ungracefully into her armchair. With her elbows on her knees, she cradled her head feeling a raging headache forming right in the center of her temple. "When I was a child, I couldn't have been more than five, my parents were killed. The only memory I really have of them anymore is them lying in pools of their own blood on our floor. We used to live in a small village way up in North, where the winters never seemed to really end. Bandits were normal around those parts, but they usually attacked traveling merchants. One night I woke to my mother screaming. She screamed my father's name and for my brother to run. Before I could reach the front room, I heard the soft chink of a blade and a thud. Sometimes when I close my eyes and I'm almost asleep, I hear her scream cut short and the sound of blood gurgling out of her mouth. When I finally reached my family, both of my parents were on the floor with their necks slashed in puddles of red. My brother, who saw everything happen, launched himself at the bandits. He-," she choked a bit as she tried not to cry uncontrollably. "I watched my brother avenged our parents by ripping the hearts out of the men who murdered kaa-san and oto-san.
"We left soon after that. Nii-san packed up our stuff and we moved as far away from that place as we could. I should've known something like that would've affected him eventually. But, I was just a small five-year-old who just lost her parents. All I had in the world was my brother. He told me that justice was served and that he took care of it. I took that as gospel and never questioned it again until the day I saw my brother bathed once again in blood. I never once thought how watching our parents die in front of him would affect him, or even killing a man would either. Nii-san took care of me and that was all I needed.
"My parents became but a distant memory as we moved to a small town with a house up on a grassy hill. Where our old home seemed an endless winter, this one was like an endless summer. It was lovely. Nii-san and I would garden and play all types of games outside. He would chase me and catch me and I would try and catch him back. Nii-san even learned to cook, though we had many mistrials before he got it right." She huffed out a small laugh at the fond memories of burnt onigiri and flaming vegetables. "We had a good life despite everything. Nii-san was my rock and he anchored me so I could look forward to the future. But one day Nii-san never came home. He would travel to the next town over every week, because the one that we lived closest too was kind of small and poor. He would go sell the vegetables that we grew in our garden at the market. That morning he left with a huge grin on his face, and then disappeared for two years.
"I had a friend in the village. She was my only friend in fact. Her name was Tomomi. When my brother never returned, I moved in with Momi-chan. I had missed my brother terribly. Before Tomomi's parents took me in, I had lived in that cold empty house for weeks. I waited and I waited but he never came back. The next two years were bittersweet for me. I loved Momi-chan and her family. They were good people. But, my brother was the only family I had left. No one could replace him."
She hesitated to continue. How would Natsu take what she had to say? At the moment he was just sitting across from her in pensive silence listening to her talk. She drew in a shaky breath and continued nonetheless.
"I was twelve when he returned. I was so angry at him; for disappearing, leaving without even a single word, for leaving me alone. But I moved back into the cottage anyway. I never saw much of him in the next three years. Momi-chan had become something of a solace to me in that time. She became a sister in all but blood." Kiyomi's eyes darkened in sadness. "It was so sudden, the disappearances. It started with the blacksmith. He was such a kind-faced old man. No one knew where he had vanished off to, not even his wife and children. Then, two weeks later, he showed up in the stream nearby dead." She tried not to gag at the memory of his mangled body floating in the water. One by one, villagers started to go missing. They would just vanish and then after some time show up again killed in the most horrendous ways.
"I didn't begin to suspect my brother until one night I heard Tomomi's parents arguing about it. I had battled with it for weeks. I didn't want to succumb to that little niggling part of my brain that pointed towards him. How could I believe he would do such a thing? My sweet lovely nii-san who always had a grin and a joke for me so I wouldn't cry, tended to all my scratches and bruises when kaa-san wasn't there to do it, and panicked at the first signs of any kind of illness. I didn't want to believe it, but he just wasn't the same person I used to know.
"I would like to tell you that I was surprised when I found my best friend's dead body or her blood on my brother's hands. I want to say that I screamed in denial and hurt, but I didn't. It was sort of a bitter resignation at that point. Deny it though I tried, it wasn't until I actually saw the evidence with my own eyes that I finally had to admit to myself that it was true. I regret how I handled that day.
"I used to help out in the ramen shop after oba-san went missing. I was sent home early that day and there he was, standing in front of our home with Momi-chan's lifeless body at his feet. We simply stared at one another. Not a word was said. I wish that I had screamed at him or hurt him. I did nothing!" She realized that she was crying at this point. When did she start crying? "I didn't avenge her death like I knew she would've done for me! I just left him there and packed my things without a backward glance. I let him go. I should've done something, anything!"
She was crying uncontrollably now. It had been so long since she cried for her dead friend, so long since she mourned the loss of the two most important people in her life. "It's my fault," she shrieked. "You got hurt because of my incompetence. If only I had told someone, or done something myself. I kept telling myself that it was better that I left. That I was doing it to punish him. But I left because it was the easiest thing to do. No matter what he had done, what I actually saw with my own eyes, I couldn't hurt him, and because of that you got hurt. If only-"
"Stop." She was startled out of her insistent sobbing by Natsu standing over her with a troubled look on his face. "Just stop."
She trembled slightly as the sentiments she was feeling still ravaged her mind; grief, pain, anger, self-hatred. She rocked back and forth as she tried to do what Natsu said. She tried to stop crying and feeling all of the things she was feeling. She was then, unexpectedly, enveloped in warmth as Natsu pulled her into his strong embrace. The dam broke and she cried even harder into his warm neck. He pulled her onto the armchair with him and rocked her like she was a child.
She didn't remember how long she cried or when she passed out, but she woke the next day in her bed. Natsu was sitting on the bed beside her wide awake with the same troubled expression as before.
"Hey," he said softly. "Feeling a bit better?" She nodded mutely. Kiyomi was scared. She didn't know what was going to happen, how he was going to react. "I'm sorry." She shot up and stared at him with wide disbelieving eyes. How could he apologize?! Why is he apologizing?!
"Natsu," she said insistently. "You have nothing to be sorry about. If anything, it shou-"
"No," Natsu's voice was firm and she looked at him more confused than ever. She wanted to know what exactly was going on in his mind. "First of all, you need to stop apologizing and blaming yourself. What happened to me, what that monster did was not your fault. He is a monster and it has nothing to do with you. Second, I'm sorry because you've been keeping this in for so long. I'm sorry that you had to go years with feeling this guilt. I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that when you were so young. Oh Kiyomi, I'm so sorry." He pulled her into his arms again. She wanted to cry but found herself quite out of tears. So, she just lay there in his arms and took the comfort that he provided to her.
"Thank you." She whispered it quietly after sometime. He kissed her forehead lightly and said, "You're welcome. I love you."
Her eyes bulged in surprise and she wanted to look at him but his arms tightened around her and constricted her movements. "I don't know when it happened really. Sometimes I think it was when I first opened my eyes to see your kind face and warm smile, or when I first heard you laugh. Sometimes I think it was when I would tease you and your brows would crinkle in this little frown, or when I would look into your eyes and see the most compelling medley of purples.
"I love you Kiyomi and I don't think I can stop. I tried to tell myself that I shouldn't love you. I was not worthy of such an emotion. You changed that you know. You changed how I look at myself and how I think of myself. You made me feel again. You helped me think that I was worth something. That I was worthy of you. Let me do the same for you. Let me help you feel again. Let me help you realize that you are worth a thousand of him. That you are worthy of my love. Let me love you Kiyomi. If you do, I promise I would love you for all eternity."
Despite all the waterworks yesterday, Kiyomi found her eyes getting wet as she lay against Natsu's chest. "I- I love you too." His arms, if possible, tightened even further around her crushing her towards him.
And that, was when all hell broke loose.
A/N: Right... How was everyone's holidays? It's been forever and I know I'm a horrible author! *sobs in corner* I know it's a short chapter but things pick up a little in the next chapter. Hopefully you'll get it by Valentine's Day. Hopefully... I've been so busy, my new semester has started and may I just say that med. school is hard as hell. Did you guys like it? Let me know. If you wanna fast response from me just check me out on Tumblr. I'm literally (LITERALLY) always on Tumblr. I'm actually hoping to finish this story this summer so I can focus on a couple of HP fics I've got up my sleeve. And I've also been looking into continuing my one-shot. As always, I hope you enjoyed. Ciao. ~RiLeY~
