I still don't own anything related to Criminal Minds.


Part eight: All I've Ever Wanted


This time, when she woke up, Penelope knew what was going on – there was no lingering sense of panic that she'd done some fucking stupid ass shit, only a calm serenity that made her smile against Derek's chest. She was glad he hadn't commented too much on her half-dressed state earlier, partially because she'd been too sleepy to care if she had anything on at all. But now she felt a little self-conscious about just chilling out in her second crappiest bra – which needed desperate replacement – and a pair of panties that had definitely seen better days. If she'd have known yesterday that she'd be waking up in bed with the dreamboat of her life, she would've made a better effort to be presentable. As it was, she was going to have to change clothes – and fast.

She made a move to get up but Derek pulled her closer. "Nuh-uh," he mumbled against her back. "Stay down."

"I have to go to the bathroom," she said. "How long have I been asleep?"

"A couple of hours," he replied.

"Well, I'm up now," she said cheerfully. "Wanna go to Denny's?"

She heard him sigh against her shoulder. "Penelope, how long have you not been sleeping?" he asked.

"Honestly? Since I left Quantico," she murmured. "But it's okay – I'll be fine. I've got you, now, right? You'll keep me on the straight and narrow."

"Mama, don't you dare try to butter me up," he muttered, kissing her neck. "I can see right through that cute act of yours."

She paused for a long moment, then whispered, "You know what's going to happen? They're going to move me again. And it's going to be worse because I've had a glimpse of what life could've been like if I hadn't been an idiot when I was nineteen. I'm tired of fighting, Derek – I can't take on the entire world by myself and I can't ask for help because this is entirely my own fault."

"Baby Girl, nothing else is going to happen," he contradicted.

"You wanna make a bet?" she challenged. "This is far from the first time I've been relocated. I know what happens when I get too close to people, Derek. You should be running away as fast as you can because being with me is just going to get you hurt."

"Love isn't love without pain," he reasoned.

She felt sick when the next words tumbled out of her mouth. "You should go home and forget me." She didn't want to hurt him any more than she already had – he deserved more than she could give him. He deserved the beautiful house, trophy wife, 2.5 kids, cute puppy in the yard and kitten in the house.

"You don't mean that," he said softly, pulling her closer again. "Because you're still wearing my ring, Baby Girl."

She thought about removing it just to prove him wrong, but couldn't bring herself to do it. "You deserve better than a rehabilitated convict, Derek."

"Are you really trying to get me to leave?" he asked. "Because you're going to have to do a lot better than that."

"I don't want you to get hurt –"

"Stop the sanctimoniously noble bullshit, woman," Derek growled, forcing her to roll over and face him. "I'm tired of playing games with you because you think you aren't worthy of my love. You're my Baby Girl – no one else in this life is going to take your place. I told you how much I love you, Penelope. This last year, all I could think about was you – finding you, comforting you, making everything all right again. All I ever wanted was you. I'm sorry if you think some stupid excuse is going to get me to walk away – because it's not. They're going to have to shoot me if they think they can just take you away, Penelope."

She blinked up at him, seeing the blind determination in his face, and it scared her how serious he was – in that moment, she really believed that he was losing his mind. "I have to pee," she said, needing to get away from him before she said things she couldn't undo. He released her and she scurried to the bathroom, locking the door behind her. Her heart was going a thousand miles an hour and she was dizzy from the thought that, yes, he was 100% serious and 100% in love with her. This wasn't a passing thing. And if he ever knew how long she'd loved him like that…

She splashed water on her face, the towel shaking in her hands as she dried herself off. Maybe it was time to stop running from everything that might hurt and stand up for what she wanted. She could argue that she didn't deserve anything, let alone him, but her selfish nature would just rear its ugly head up again and make her look like a fool. She wanted him more than she'd ever wanted anything else in her life, and she would be a fucking idiot to not jump on this chance before it disappeared again.

She put on her robe and felt better – she wasn't quite so exposed. She tried to calm her breathing and let her heartbeat slow down again before she went back out there.

He was waiting for her, propped up on his side in khakis and a t-shirt – he'd put his clothes back on after she'd gone into the bathroom, clearly. He was devastatingly handsome in the way that every woman on the planet – straight or slightly bent or even completely crooked – could appreciate, and she still couldn't believe that his focus was on her like THAT.

Penelope crossed her arms over her chest and said, "So, I –"

"Can I say something?"

"You've been saying a lot of somethings," she retorted.

He held up his hands in surrender until she softened. As soon as he saw that, Derek said, "I know you're scared, Penelope, and you can't fight that. But what I saw out on the beach this morning – my girl, my beautiful, sexy Baby Girl, was broken and begging for me and I was standing right there. I can't let you hurt like that anymore, Penelope. I won't. I wanted to wake you up and prove how much I love you, but I couldn't – and then you just… you said you just wanted me to hold you again."

"It's all I've ever wanted," she whispered, closing her eyes so she didn't have to look at him. Being honest to herself in the mirror was one thing – proving it to him was another altogether.

She could feel the beating of his heart when he pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly but tenderly, as if it was all he'd ever wanted to do. Everything crashed down in that moment and she took a deep, shuddering breath that mutated into a horrifying sob. She cried and cried and cried until she couldn't force out another tear if she tried. And all he did was hold her.

It had been so long since she'd just let go of the poison festering in her. That he hadn't run away, screaming, was a miracle. That he was still in love with her was nothing short of astronomical.

"I love you so much," Derek whispered, tilting her chin up so she would have to look at him. "Never doubt that, Baby Girl. Never."

She whimpered and snaked her arms around his waist. "I love you more," she croaked, her voice hoarse from the sobbing she'd been doing for god only knows how long. "You don't know how hard it's been to keep you away when all I want is you to hold me and promise things are going to be okay again," she whispered. "I never thought I'd walk into the middle of a BAU investigation when I left the office yesterday, but oh my god, I've never been so happy to see you – not ever."

"Stop pushing me away because you're scared," he advised softly. "Because I know people who know people and we're going to get married tomorrow – if you're willing."

She pulled back and blinked up at him. "Married? You really want to marry me?"

He twined his fingers with hers, smiling down at her. "Silly girl, why else would I give you a damn ring and say I'd cross heaven, hell, and earth to find you?"

"Oh," was all she could say. Well, technically, it was all he would allow her to say – because as soon as the word left her lips, he must have decided to convince her of his words being very valid and very much in earnest. His kiss was as demanding and possessive as it was arousing – her nipples were rock hard and her panties were already wet by the time he broke the kiss and reached for the sash of her robe. "No, you first," Penelope said, gesturing at his clothes. "I want to see what I've been missing all this time – and make sure I made the right choice."

Derek glared at her, but complied and started by removing his pants. Her mouth went dry and she licked her lips rather indelicately. When he took his shirt off a moment later, his reply was a muffled, "There was never a choice to be made, woman – you've always been mine."

And for the first time in a long time, she had to admit to that very truth. From the moment he'd called her "Baby Girl" accidentally, she'd been his willing partner in crime and – almost everything else.

Now, suddenly, she was getting the everything else she'd been missing out on. She still couldn't believe that he really wanted her –

Once he divested her of her clothes, everything was fast and furious – there was no time for thinking, no time for anything but feeling. She was going to be limping and bruised and so sore… but feeling him so deep inside her took her breath away completely. His kisses scorched her skin, her heart exploded with utter bliss when he showed her just how much he'd missed her. And she showed him that good morning in the early afternoon that they'd both dreamed about so futilely.

When they lay quiet in each other's arms, she whispered, "Tomorrow, then."

"I don't want to push you –"

"No, I'm done waiting and hoping and wishing on a fucking star," Penelope said as firmly as she could, moving even closer, draping her leg over his and wishing she could crawl into his skin. "You and me, Morgan. You and me forever – like all those stupid cheesy things little girls think when they're too young to realize what the world is really like."

"We've always been forever," he murmured, kissing the top of her head.

"You're a silly romantic," she teased, kissing his chest and loving the satisfied rumble that she heard beneath her.

"As long as it gets me you, I'll be anything you want, Baby Girl."