A/N: This chapter heeds a strong M rating. You have all been warned. The song in this chapter is 'I Am' by Christina Aguilera and does not belong to me.
'I am timid and
I am oversensitive
I am a lioness
I am tired and defensive
You take me in your arms
And I fold into you
I have insecurities
You show me I am beautiful'
August 7, 1981 7:53PM
Benson Apartment
Elliot stood outside apartment number 37 patiently, waiting for Olivia to answer the door. He stepped back away from the door, kicking his feet at the ground and listening for the sound of her footsteps. He could hear televisions playing faintly in the background, one from somewhere down the hall and Olivia's. The floor was surprisingly quiet for a Friday night. Most of the occupants were families but Elliot knew of a few single people that lived on Olivia's floor. Most of the time, he would hear children screaming or laughing and parents arguing. It was odd to hear virtually no noise for once.
He heard the locks click open before he saw her smiling face.
"It's about time you got here," Olivia said by way of greeting. "I was starting to get worried about you."
She opened the door wide enough for him to step through before shutting it behind him. She clicked the locks back into place one by one, knowing if she didn't do it immediately, he would. It was cute the way he worried about her safety but sometimes it was just downright annoying.
"I had a meeting with my recruiting officer and then I had to stock the bar for uncle Frank real quick," Elliot explained, removing his shoes by the door. "If I had stayed five minutes more, he would've roped me into working tonight."
Olivia shook her head vehemently. "No, he would not have," she guaranteed him. "I would've hunted you down and dragged you back here."
He grinned at her and said, "You wouldn't have had to drag me anywhere. I'll always follow you willingly."
"Corny," she muttered as she stepped past him. His grin only amplified. He followed her into the kitchen. "What do you want to drink?"
"Root beer, please."
She pointed to the fridge with a straight face. "You know where it is."
He chuckled and shook his head at her, his shoulders shaking from his laughs. He stepped up behind her at the counter to see what she was doing. In front of her was a bowl of popcorn, freshly popped. He dipped a hand in front of her vision and stole a handful of the popped corn, stuffing it in his mouth before moving away. He stepped over to the fridge, leaning down once he opened the door to find the root beer.
"Grab me one while you're in there," Olivia called over. He shot her a glance over his shoulder and was met with a pouty expression. With a sigh, he grabbed another root beer from the cold shelf and shut the door. God, he was so whipped.
"What time did it start?" he asked, motioning towards the television.
"At seven. You've only missed two episodes."
Olivia had invited him over to watch an I Love Lucy marathon all night. Her mother was away for the weekend in Connecticut at an English conference. Serena had made sure Olivia understood the rules – Elliot wasn't allowed over after dark, no drinking, keep the doors and windows locked at night. Serena had embarrassingly, albeit vaguely, explained to Olivia that if Elliot did come over, all body parts should remain to their respective owner. Olivia had smiled and agreed to placate her mother, telling her Elliot had to work all weekend anyway and so did she. That had been a lie, of course, but what her mother didn't know wouldn't kill her.
Elliot waited as she set their popcorn down on the coffee table and sat down on the couch before handing her root beer to her. He watched as she brought her feet up under her before covering her legs with a blanket.
"Is that the shirt I gave you?" he noticed, squinting to see the writing. She nodded.
"It's comfy and spacious," she told him. She brought a hand up to the cotton at her abdomen, holding it out so he could see the writing. When he had been recruited for the marines, he had received two shirts. He wore one when he worked out; seeing USMC staring back at him in the mirror made him push himself further. He gave the other to Olivia and told her to wear it and think of him. It was a size large, whereas she wore a size medium or small, but she hadn't cared. She mainly wore it to sleep in. "You need to get another one my size I can actually wear out in public."
"You can wear that one in public," he told her. He sat down next to her, popping open his soda can and taking a long drink.
She scoffed. "I don't want to look like a slob, El."
"You don't," he assured. He moved some hair away from her face. "You look sexy."
"Thank you," she smiled at him, "but I am still never walking out of the apartment like this."
He slung an arm over the back of the couch, his fingertips dancing across her left shoulder. She snuggled into his side, reaching for the remote to turn the volume back up. He put his feet on the coffee table, leaning back into the cushions of the couch, wincing when he heard a crinkle noise from the pocket of his sweatpants. Olivia brightened up next to him, her back going straight and looking at him with excitement.
"Did you bring it?" she asked excitedly.
He groaned and produced what she wanted from his pocket.
"I was really hoping you'd forgotten about it."
She snatched the candy bar from his hands, eagerly tearing into the Milky Way and taking a good sized bite. She moaned with pleasure as the chocolate, caramel, and nougat hit her taste buds, closing her eyes and enjoying the taste. Elliot sat back and enjoyed the show.
"I have been craving this all week. There's no way I'd forget about it."
"You're only using me for the chocolate," Elliot pouted teasingly. Olivia laughed and patted his leg.
"You finally figured it out," she teased, leaning over to kiss him before taking another bite of her candy bar.
He watched her chew slowly, her way of trying to make it last as long as she could. "Are you at least going to share?" he pouted teasingly. Half the time, he only asked to bug her. He knew she hated sharing chocolate, only did so on special occasions, but he loved asking. He thought of it as a testament of their relationship to see if she would actually give him some of her precious chocolate.
Since their fight earlier in the week, they had come back down to solid ground. She hadn't spoken to him for two days. Two very long days. But when he'd shown up at her work to pick her up one day, he'd whipped out his family photo album and went through it picture by picture with her. He'd explained he would introduce her to his mother soon, just not yet. Olivia's face had glowed when he told her he had told his mother about her existence in his life. She had told him that would placate her for the moment but she was holding him to the face to face meeting.
They had become stronger since the fight. They had never really yelled at one another like that before. Then again, they had never fought on such an emotional topic. They had disagreed on childish subjects, but they had never stayed mad at one another for longer than five minutes when they were fighting about which football team was better. Elliot now realized he couldn't hold things back from her. Perhaps he was too worried she was going to judge him or look at him differently if she knew the truth. In his heart, he knew she wouldn't. She would be accepting of his family the way he was accepting of hers. They both had a great deal of learning about the gives and takes of a relationship but there was time to figure it out together.
She glanced sideways at him, her jaw still working. She blinked at him several times, thinking intensely about the pros and cons of letting him have some of her candy bar. Finally, she moved the candy bar in front of him, offering him a bite. Only a small bite though, as he knew from past experiences. She watched intently as he leaned his neck down and bite off a small piece of chocolately, caramel goodness. He moaned seductively as he began to chew, closing his eyes and enjoying every second of torturing her.
"I hate you," she said, narrowing her eyes at him. She knew he only asked her for a bite just to get a rise out of her.
He chuckled. "Think of it as a buyer's fee," he mumbled with his mouth full and a grin on his face. "I bought it; now I want my payment."
Olivia bit back a few suggestive comments and resumed her focus on her Milky Way. "Shut up and watch the show."
E
O
"No one in their right mind would be able to eat that much cheese at one moment," Elliot commented, watching as Lucy sliced into her large block of cheese. He cringed when he watched Lucy and Ethel started cramming cheese in their mouths in their attempts to eat the entire thing before the plane landed.
"That's what makes it funny, El," Olivia explained. She popped another piece of popcorn into her mouth. She chuckled at the look on Lucy's face. "This show is so classic."
Elliot shook his head, reaching a hand for the popcorn. He shoved a handful of it in his mouth before fluffing the pillow behind his head. He had stretched out on the entire sofa, his legs resting over Olivia's lap and stretching all the way to the arm of the couch. Every once in a while, he would feel Olivia tap on his legs, signaling she wanted him to shift his weight. He had offered to move his legs but she had told him to stay put, saying she was fine and damn comfortable.
"Hmm, did I tell you that DJ's going to a party and he wants me to come?" Olivia announced, wisely choosing not to look at Elliot.
His posture straightened when his eyes snapped to her face. She continued to watch the television screen. "No, you didn't. When is it?"
"In a couple of weeks, right before school starts."
"Where is it?"
"I don't know," she shrugged. "I just know that his friend Andre is throwing the party."
"Have I met this Andre?" Elliot tried hard to keep the possessiveness out of his voice.
"Yes, you have," she nodded, glancing over at him. "He was at Columbus Circle last month when we went to see DJ dance."
He was quiet for a moment. He knew he had no say over whether she went or not but it still made him uneasy.
"I told him I'd go," Olivia murmured. "You'll be in North Carolina and DJ's my friend."
"I know DJ's your friend," he interrupted somewhat loudly, his tone defensive.
She looked over at him again. "Do you trust me?" she questioned him with a raised brow. She heard the nerves in his voice and she felt his muscles tensing up. They often liked to test each other, seeing how much the other would agree to before putting his or her foot down. Olivia knew she trusted Elliot with her life and she trusted him to behave himself and be faithful while he was away. But as possessive as Elliot was, she didn't know if he really trusted her on all levels yet. She knew he worried that she would cheat on him while he was away, a well founded fear put in place by his ex-girlfriend. But she was positive her actions told him she would never betray him. She hoped her future actions told him everything he needed to know about their relationship.
"Yes, I trust you," she heard him answer. "It's the guys I don't trust. A lot of guys don't like to take 'no' for an answer, Olivia."
"So it's a good thing I took that class at the gym," she pointed out, referencing the self defense class she took a few months ago.
"I'm just saying…" he faded off.
"And I'm just saying that I'm a big girl and I do have friends who are males." She stretched out next to his body, trying to tell him she wasn't starting a fight. Her legs slipped out from under his and one of them found its way on top of him. Her left arm sprawled out on top of his chest, resting her chin on her hand so she could see into his eyes. He grumbled his response, telling her wordlessly that he didn't want to talk about it anymore. He turned his eyes back to the television when he heard the theme song start up again. She rested her head on his chest and enjoyed the feel of his hand combing through her hair. It was probably the most soothing feeling she had ever felt. She could shut her eyes and be asleep within the next five minutes.
"Did I tell you that Kathy's pregnant?"
"Get out!" Olivia exclaimed, jumping up and resting her elbows on his abdomen. The smile on her face was huge.
Elliot nodded. "Yeah, I was out with my mom the other day and we saw her and her mom. Of course, my mom had to stop and talk to Kathy's mom and she found out that Kathy's four months pregnant with some guy's baby."
"You don't know who's?"
"No," he shook his head, "He's just some guy she's been seeing for the last few months."
"So it's not even the guy she cheated on you with?" The disgust was obvious in her voice.
She hated what Kathy had done to him. Even though they had been an on and off again couple for so long, it had still sliced Elliot's heart in two when he found out from half the school that Kathy was cheating on him. After a fight on the school's front lawn, though, Elliot had finally realized that she just wasn't worth it. Olivia had taken him out to eat that day, telling him she was sorry they weren't old enough to drink. Elliot had laughed and said he didn't need alcohol as long as he had her. In a way, that was their first date. Their friendship had grown one hundred times stronger after that.
"To be honest," she heard Elliot say, "I stopped caring about her a long time ago, before we even broke up. And it was nothing at all like what we have."
She trailed her fingers up his chest. "That's because we were friends first and before all of that, I thought you were an asshole."
"But I proved you wrong, right?" he asked, grinning like a fool. He felt her fingers running across the expanse of his jaw, touching lightly with her fingertips.
"Yes, but you still have your moments." Her fingers continued to roam across his face, rough and smooth altering in places. "What is this? Are you trying to grow a beard here?"
He rubbed his hand over his chin in a self conscious manner. "I'm not trying; I am. I wanna see what I look like with one. What do you think?" He moved his head to both sides, letting her get the full effect.
She inspected his hair covered face with a fine eye, her fingertips still grazing over a spot by his ear. It was different. She had seen him with his five o'clock shadow before but this was a little different. He definitely had a few days worth of hair growth started. It was kind of sexy.
"I kinda like it. It makes you look manly," she let out slowly. She examined his face again. "But you shouldn't grow it out too long. Keep it short just like this."
"I'll have to shave it off in two weeks anyway," he reminded her. "I just wanted to see how I liked it."
"Well, I think it's kinda sexy," she murmured, letting her lips graze his.
"Let's see if you think that when I really start kissing you."
He drew her body up to straddle his, his hands finding their way to the bottom of her shirt. His lips covered hers. She pressed her body close to his, her hair falling over them in a cascade of brown waves. She pulled his lower lip between her teeth before licking it to ease away the sting of her bite.
"It's just a little scratchy," she murmured in his mouth. "Nothing I can't handle."
She moaned when she felt his hands slide underneath her shirt. His hands pressed down firmly, massaging as his fingers skimmed across her vertebrae. She ground her hips down onto his as a response, swallowing his moan with her mouth. She could feel his erection pushing at the denim fabric of his jeans. For once, it didn't freak her out. She pressed her hips into his again for good measure, enjoying the sound of his strangled moan.
She trailed a path of wet kisses down his cheek. The scratchy feeling of his beard was different but she didn't hate it. His hands pushed her shirt up higher on her torso. Her right hand found the fabric of his shirt and twisted it around her fingers. She could feel his fingernails lightly scrapping against her skin, giving her chills up and down her body. She pulled back to allow him to lift the shirt from her body, exposing her bra-clad form to him. She watched with hooded eyes as he tossed it to the floor without another thought. She felt only slightly self conscious as she towered above him. She didn't flinch now when his hands met the bare flesh of her hips. His thumbs rubbed small circles right above the waistband of her jeans. With slight pressure from his fingers, she brought her body down to cover his again.
His hands roamed the expanse of her back when her lips met his. She ground her hips into his, her desire growing by the second. He allowed his hands to travel further south, running over her backside first before moving to her thighs. He squeezed the flesh there, her sweatpants allowing him to grip more flesh than he knew her jeans would. He felt his heart rate increasing when she slipped her tongue past his lips, tasting more of him. The things she did to him, he couldn't even explain. He often found himself getting excited about her just thinking about her during the day. Her voice was all the encouragement he ever needed.
So what if he was just imaging her level of readiness? She seemed ready; her actions were screaming it. But they had been in this boat before.
With all the power in him, he hesitantly pulled away.
"No, don't stop."
"Olivia," he said warningly.
"I'm serious. Don't stop," she repeated, staring into his blue eyes. Her hips involuntarily bucked against his, trying to make him aware of her desire, too. Too many times they had put a stop to their needs.
Tonight, she wanted to listen to her needs.
She stood slowly, her eyes keeping contact with his. She grabbed his hand to pull him up, too. He went willingly, his breath coming in heavy pants. Step by step, she led them down the hall. Toward her bedroom, he realized in the back of his mind.
Was she serious? Was this actually happening right now? Elliot fought the urge to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming but his limbs felt paralyzed. Well, most of them at least. He was amazed he could even put one foot in front of the other; his excitement level was increasing by the second. He told himself to take a few breaths to calm down a little. His brother's words were in the back of his mind. He didn't want to get too excited too fast. Otherwise, this would be over before it even began.
"You know what you're doing right now, don't you?" he asked her once they entered her bedroom. He had only been in here a few times and not for very long each time. The blinds were closed, making the dark blue paint on the walls look black. She reached down to turn on her bedside lamp before straightening in front of him.
"Yes, Elliot, I know what I'm implying right now," she chuckled. She watched as he shut the door behind him, part of habit more than necessity. He leaned against the door and just stared at her. She glanced at the floor quickly, suddenly very aware that she was topless. She heard his faint footsteps come closer to her, his bare feet coming into her view under her curtain of hair. He used a finger to lift her chin up so he could look at her.
"Are you sure about this?"
She smiled brightly in the dim room. "Yes, El, I'm very sure about this. I would tell you if I wasn't."
"I just…" he paused, grabbing her hands and lacing their fingers together. "I just don't want you to regret this if it's still too soon."
She melted a little at the sincerity in his voice. She would have thought he would ready and eager to move on to that next level, hardly stopping to think about it along the way.
Instead of answering him, she wrapped a hand around his neck and brought his mouth crashing down on hers. Her lips smoothed across his slowly, erasing all doubts from his mind. His hands found their way around her waist again. She couldn't help but squirm a little when his cold thumbs pressed into the warm skin on her pelvis. Her hands trailed down his sides lightly, bunching up the fabric of his shirt before drawing it up the length of his torso. She didn't want to be the only one who was naked from the waist up, although she did still have her bra on. She had no doubts that he would take care of that problem soon, though. Their lips parted long enough for her to slip the shirt off over his head and throw it to the floor. Her palms immediately fell to his chest, her fingers running over the contours of his muscled abdomen.
His arms tightened around her as he picked her up on a whim. She squealed with surprise, her lips flying from his. She laughed at the look on his face.
"I take it everything finally sunk in, huh?" she guessed.
"A little bit."
He walked the few steps to the bed before laying her out on the red comforter. Her arms fell to the side above her head. She was a little self conscious being so exposed to him but she managed to keep her arms where they were. Elliot loomed over her, placing his arms on either side of her body. They stared intently at one another, unsure of who should make the next move. Olivia decided for them by reaching up and capturing his lips between her own. She felt light fingertips dancing across her palms before lacing through her slender fingers one by one.
He pulled back after a second when a thought occurred to him.
"I don't have any condoms on me. I really love you, Liv, but I do not want to be a father right now," he said, looking straight into her eyes. He could see himself having children with her one day, but he was far from prepared for it now.
"El," she looked at him pointedly, "I'm on birth control."
Slowly, a grin crossed his face and he nodded in remembrance. She slipped a hand out of his to tug at his jeans. She stared him in the eye as she undid the buckle on his belt, her heart thundering loudly in her ears. Her pulse was going a mile a minute; she could swear he could see her chest moving from the rapid thump of her heart. She popped the button of his jeans open before he stood and removed his jeans altogether. She kept her eyes on his face, not knowing whether she should look elsewhere just yet. She had seen a man naked before but she had also been more than a little drunk at the time. This felt different. She wanted to know what he looked like, how he would feel. And he hadn't even taken off his briefs yet. She wasn't expecting it to hurt as much as it did the first time but she knew it would hurt a little.
Elliot crawled on top of her and put his hands on the waistband of her sweatpants. His eyes seemed to be asking her for permission, which she happily granted. He slid the gray pants off slowly, his eyes watching his every move. His breathing grew shallow when he dropped the pants to the floor, suddenly very aware of what they were about to do. He ran his hands up over the smooth length of her legs. She grinned when she realized he was trying to get her accustomed to his touch on other parts of her body. Sitting up, she grabbed his shoulders and drew his body over hers. She kissed him roughly and wrapped her legs around his waist. He grunted when her lower body collided with his, causing friction on his erection. Unconsciously, he ground his hips into hers. Her moans of encouragement filled the otherwise silent room.
Taking the initiative, Olivia reached behind her and unclasped her bra. She tossed it to the side, forgotten. She chuckled when she saw Elliot's expression, his mouth hanging open with astonishment. She pushed his mouth closed with finger, the butterflies in her stomach disappearing with every passing second.
"You're beautiful, Liv," Elliot murmured softly near her ear. He nipped at her lobe before trailing kisses down the side of her neck.
"You're just saying that," Olivia tried to play off. Her arms gripped his biceps; her nails scratched lightly at the surface.
He shook his head. "No, I'm not. You're beautiful in every way possible, Liv. Inside and out."
Grinning like a wild woman, Olivia settled deeper into the mattress. It was still hard for her to accept compliments, but when they came from Elliot, he made her feel like the most beautiful person to ever walk the planet.
Slowly, he worked his way down her body, her legs falling from his waist. He suckled at her neck, careful not to put too much pressure in one spot. He could feel her hands sliding across his shoulders, moving up through his hair. His lips moved past her collarbone and he peppered kisses down her cleavage. Hesitantly, he pressed his lips to her breast. This was a new step for them. Before, they had stuck to above the clothes, hardly daring to go near body parts covered by undergarments. When she didn't protest, he placed more pressure behind his kiss. His lips covered her nipple, suckling gently at the sensitive bud. Her moans of pleasure were more than enough encouragement.
After lavishing attention on both her breasts, he moved further down her body. He pressed sweet kisses to her flat stomach, years of athleticism keeping her figure svelte. His fingers trailed down her body until they reached the waistband of her underwear. Looping an index finger under them, he slowly began to pull them down. His fingers were skimming over her thighs when she squirmed under him. He immediately stopped what he was doing.
"No, keep going," she assured, laughing faintly. "It's ticklish."
Chuckling, he continued on his mission. With her underwear free of her body, he could smell her arousal in the air. Not wanting to scare her, he started kissing his way up one of her legs. For so long he had dreamed about doing this and now his dream was finally coming true. He had Olivia naked and waiting for him, waiting to take their relationship - their love - to the next level. It was the ultimate level of trust as far as he was concerned. Olivia didn't take any action lightly. Everything had its meaning. So for her to come to him and say it was the right time showed she really did trust him and love him as much as he hoped.
His palm cupped her calf as he kissed a spot by her knee.
"Elliot…" Olivia groaned, letting him know her impatience. She lifted up to lean on her elbows, looking at him with an impatient stare. He couldn't help his wandering stare that flitted to her breasts, enjoying the show she was offering.
"I want to explore," he simply said. "You can explore next time."
With a huff, she flopped back onto the mattress. He chuckled at her before returning his attention to her leg. With one hand palming her calf, he allowed his other hand to run up and down her other leg. Spreading her legs a little further apart, he traveled upward. Gripping one of her thighs with one hand, he pressed his lips to the inside of her other thigh. She squirmed beneath him, suddenly very aware she was completely naked under him.
"I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to do," he assured her. "Just let me know if you're uncomfortable and I'll stop."
Taking a deep breath, she nodded. "I trust you."
Nodding, he pressed his lips more firmly against the flesh of her thigh. A million thoughts were running through her head. Were her legs still smooth from shaving the other day? Did she look normal down there? Was she groomed well enough? Did he care if she had hair or not? Was he turned on just from looking at her? All of these questions, she would never ask him in a million years but she would think them until he told her otherwise. She felt his teeth graze her flesh before his tongue came along to soothe. She closed her eyes and enjoyed his touch.
He kisses grew closer and closer to her center. He glanced up over her body and saw her chest heaving quickly up and down in anticipation. One of her hands was gripping a handful of the comforter. He couldn't help but smile to himself at how beautiful she looked. Deciding to go for it, he latched on to her clitoris, letting his teeth graze it before running his tongue over the sensitive spot. Her back arched up off of the bed, a strangled gasp escaping her lips. Encouraged by her response, he did it again.
"How's that feel?" he whispered to her.
"Really, really good, El," she panted, her back slowly falling back against the bed. He moved up her body but kept a hand at her center, his fingers running over her moist folds.
"Open your eyes," he murmured. She did as he asked, immediately finding his eyes in the dim lighting. Her eyes were darker than normal, desire glazing them over. He could imagine his eyes looked similar. He swept her mouth with his, his tongue brushing against hers. She could taste herself on him and that just made her want him more. Her hands found their way around his neck, holding his body close. She threw a leg over his, one hand sliding down to the waistband of his briefs.
"I want these off," she murmured into his mouth. He obliged to her wishes, wiggling his hips and pushing at his briefs until they were discarded onto the floor. He pushed a finger through her folds, inserting it and testing her readiness. She moaned with pleasure, her fingers pulling at his hair. A hand traveled down until she gripped his penis in her palm. He grunted and jerked his hips into her hand. She slowly ran her fingers over the length of him, testing the feel of him. She had never touched him here before, or any man for that matter. It was different but not all that unpleasant. She pulled gently to see what he would do. She smirked against his lips when he thrust against her again. Wrapping her leg over his again, she pulled his body on top of her. She could feel him pressed against her center.
"Are you ready?" he asked, brushing feather light kisses to her lips. She nodded, opening her mouth to him to deepen the kiss.
With his penis at her entrance, he slowly pushed the head in. He stopped when he felt resistance. She tensed in his arms and inhaled sharply.
"Keep going," she murmured breathlessly, her panting breaths landing on his face.
"Baby, I'm hurting you," he cautioned, not liking the idea of causing her pain. But she chuckled in his face.
"El, I have done this before, once. I remember what it's supposed to feel like. Besides, it won't hurt as much as it did the first time."
At least, she hoped it wouldn't.
Her arms wrapped securely around his neck, she forced herself to relax when she felt him move again. He pushed a little more, inserting most of himself in her in one swift move. He pressed his lips to her shoulder, wishing she didn't have to feel any pain at all. He could feel and hear her breathing heavily as she got used to the width of him. Her grip around his shoulders was painful but he figured he deserved it for the pain he was causing her.
He waited there until her grip loosened some. She pressed kisses to his cheek, silently telling him to move. Trusting her, he began to move, sliding out slowly before thrusting back in. He kept that pace for a while, enjoying the sounds of their moans filling the room. Her lips collided with his chin, nipping and licking her way across his chin and up to his lips. Her tongue slipped past his lips, allowing his mouth to swallow up her moans. She explored the realms of his mouth, air puffing out harshly from her nose as she focused on everything that was happening to her body. The pain had lessened greatly, now only a dull feeling being faded out with every thrust of Elliot's. Her heart was racing quickly and she could feel a different type of butterfly swirling around in her stomach. She did not remember her first time being like this. Her first time had been fast and all over the place. It was nice but she hadn't known why people were always making sex out to be such a big deal.
Elliot reached down to hook one of her legs around his waist, trying to make his thrust go deeper for her pleasure. He could feel her warmth surrounding him, making him somewhat glad he wasn't wearing a condom. He had worn a condom every time with Kathy and it never felt quite like this. Actually, it was never anywhere near this. Her arousal coated him with every thrust, making it easier and more pleasurable for her. She moaned loudly when his next thrust hit her even deeper. She followed his example and wrapped her other leg around his waist. She sighed softly when she felt his penis rub up against her clitoris.
She opened her eyes, unaware she had even closed them, when she felt his lips at her breast. She put a hand on the back of his head to hold him there, thoroughly enjoying the attention he was paying her. His rhythm increased slightly, his thrusts coming faster and a little more erratically. He could feel his orgasm building and he knew this wasn't going to last as long as he wanted it to. He could only hope she wasn't far behind.
"Are you close, baby?" he uttered, his eyes closed as he continued to lavish attention to her upper body.
"Just a little bit longer, El," she managed to get out. She bit back a few sighs when he rubbed up against her clitoris a few times. She was close but she knew he had to be closer. He gritted his teeth and did his best to bring her up to his level. Her hands moved down to the small of his back before slipping down to his ass. Her fingers applied some pressure to encourage him to move faster. He granted her wish.
He tried his best to hold back, keeping his thrusts coming fast and hard. His lips found their way to her nipples again. His teeth grazed over the tip of one before deciding to bite down gently. She inhaled sharply at the sensation. She could feel pressure building in her abdomen, the feeling becoming almost painful. Elliot's thrust grew quicker and his grunts grew louder and soon she felt a warmth spread throughout her as his semen emptied inside of her. His hips kept moving, pressing harder against her until soon the pressure insider her was released in her own orgasm. Her nails clawed into his back until she came down from her high. Her limbs hugged him to her, not wanting his warmth to leave her. He whispered that he should move, that he had to be crushing her, but she was adamant in her actions.
His lips moved over hers, silently thanking her for letting them take that next step. He took his time, letting his lips move on their own accord. He wasn't in any rush.
E
O
"I thought I'd feel different."
Elliot looked over at Olivia from the doorway. He tossed the wet wash cloth into her dirty clothes hamper and returned to her side in bed.
"What do you mean?" He slid in next to her, wrapping her up in his arms and keeping her warm.
When he had gotten up earlier, he had pulled the comforter out from under her and covered her up with it. The sweat had cooled from their bodies, making them both cold in the air conditioned room. He had slipped his briefs back on and handed her his shirt that was lying on the floor before disappearing into the bathroom to grab a washcloth to clean them up. He was happy her mom was away until Sunday –two whole days away. This way, he could enjoy sleeping next to her in bed peacefully without the worry that her mother might barge in at any second.
"I don't know, just different," she shrugged. She nuzzled her cheek against his bare chest. "You always hear from everyone how sex makes them feel different afterwards. Melissa said she felt closer to Jack after they had sex for the first time."
"But Melissa and Jake broke up five months ago," Elliot pointed out. "And they knew each other for a month before they started dating."
Olivia shrugged. "I'm just telling you what she told me. I don't think he really loved her to begin with, though. I think he was just dating her so he could sleep with her and then dump her when the next girl came along."
"That's the way most guys are," Elliot said, feeling like he was revealing the secrets of men but not caring.
She hummed noncommittal and let her fingers trace invisible lines on his forearm. "Maybe we didn't need sex to be closer to each other. Maybe we're already close enough without it."
"But the sex is still a very important part," Elliot was quick to add. "Don't you think so?"
She laughed and ran her index finger across his bottom lip. "Yes, I do. Don't worry; we're not giving that up just yet." She replaced her finger with her lips and caressed his slowly.
He tightened his arms around her, a hand making its way to the bare flesh of her thigh. He gripped her thigh and brought her leg up to wrap over his hip. She curled her foot around his calf, keeping him intimately close. It felt good to feel the weight of him pressed against her, both almost as naked as the day they were born. She did feel a little different, she supposed. Maybe a little freer. Like she could now fully express her feelings and no one could tell her she wasn't allowed to feel the emotions she was feeling.
"I am not doing it again already," she laughed against his lips, feeling his erection prodding at her leg.
"Hey, the more we practice, the better we get at it," he joked. He smoothed her hair back from her face and kissed her forehead. Softly, he said, "Ignore it. I can't help it."
"Aren't you tired?" she questioned. She rolled over to glance at her clock. "It's almost two in the morning."
"I'm never tired when I'm with you," he murmured, kissing her forehead again. "I could stay up forever."
"Well, I'm sleepy." She curled up into him, her arms held tight into her chest to keep her warm. She nuzzled her nose against his chest, smiling to herself at the bizarreness of the moment. She hadn't planned to 'seduce' him; it just happened. But she didn't regret her decision in the slightest. She had listened to what her heart was telling her. She didn't want him to leave in a couple of weeks without knowing how much she was willing to commit to him.
He rested his head on top of hers, letting his hand run lazily up and down her arm. He had never felt so relaxed before. He focused on breathing slowly, matching his breathing with hers. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears growing slower and more relaxed by the minute. Maybe he would be able to sleep if he just closed his eyes and focused on the sound of her breathing.
"I don't want you to go."
He opened his eyes at the sound of Olivia's quiet voice. He tilted her face back so he could look into her eyes.
"I don't have to leave until your mom gets back on Sunday," he promised.
She shook her head. "No, I mean, I don't want you to go to North Carolina."
"Baby, I have to go."
Her eyes avoided his for a moment. "Would you stay if I asked you to?"
He hesitated, his mouth opening and closing with no words coming out. He didn't know what to say. If he said yes, he would never get to see if he could handle being in the marines. If he said no, he ran the risk of making her possibly hate him. It was a no-win situation but he had to be honest.
"I have to go, Liv," he admitted. "I made a promise and I can't back out it. Besides, I don't know what all the marines can do for me yet. I don't know where my life is going but the marines are going to help me figure everything out."
She buried her face in his chest. "I know, I know. It's a good opportunity for you and I want you to do it but I'm not ready for you to leave me." Her words were muffled by his skin but he got the gist of it. "I don't want to be alone."
"You won't be alone," he assured her, rubbing her back. "We can write each other and I can call every once in a while when I'm allowed. You have Lucy to keep you company and I know you have about a million friends at that school now."
She looked up at him with sad eyes. "I don't want anyone but you."
"Baby," he said, running a hand across her cheek.
"No, just let me feel sad right now."
"I don't want you to feel sad. I want you to be happy," he told her. "This is only gonna make us stronger, Liv. You know that, right?"
She nodded against his chest, having buried her face there again.
"I'll be counting the days until I come home," he continued, pressing a lingering kiss to her hair. "I won't even be gone that long."
"El, the longest we've been apart in three and a half years was when you couldn't go to school for a week because you had the flu," she pointed, one eye glancing up at him. "I was worried sick the entire time."
"Hey, I called you," he defended himself.
"Yeah, four days later!" she practically yelled at him. "You're going to be gone for thirteen weeks."
He shushed her and cradled her head to him. She quieted immediately, the fight disappearing from her. She knew she was just being silly. He was only going to basic training. She would see him before she knew it. Hell, she was even going to his graduation. Everything would be fine. But she hated that she had to be alone for the next few months. Alone to face the world by herself until he returned for however long.
"Are you staying all weekend?" she asked in a tiny voice. Her fingernails played across his chest, tracing the lines of his muscles.
"Until your mom comes home and kicks me out," he promised.
She was silent for a moment. She listened to the sound of his heartbeat in her ear, pressing her ear flat over his heart to hear it better. It was soothing; a sound she often used for comfort when she was sad. She focused on the beat and his presence, instead of the unpredictable future. She tried to slow her breathing to match his heartbeat, counting the beats and taking a few deep breaths to calm herself. She pressed herself closer still, savoring the warmth of him.
"I love you," he whispered in the dark.
Smiling, she whispered back, "I love you, too."
'I am temperamental and
I have imperfections and
I am emotional
I am unpredictable
I am naked
I am vulnerable
I am a woman
I am opening up to you'
Let me know what you all think!
