Nine Months
Chapter 8
Maybe he should be feeling relieved. Maybe he should be feeling guilty. Maybe he should be thanking her. But he finds himself felling more annoyed than anything. "Rikku!" he shouts, "Rikku, come back here!"
She doesn't turn around, and instead continues her way up -- doing that whole female thing where she comes off looking all innocent and hurt and he's supposed to be the guilty bastard who left her and fuck, he's annoyed.
He leaps off his bike, jogging after her, calling her name. Because he's tired of her always doubting him. Always making him feel like a jackass when he's in his moment of showing how committed he is to her. And instead of respecting his decision, she has the nerve to doubt its integrity.
Even if she should be.
He finally catches up, and spins her around to face him. And maybe he looks a little more pissed than intended judging by the look in her eyes. But he doesn't try to hide it, and instead, leaves it to come out truthfully like his words: "I don't even know who she is."
Well... At least, from now on, he'll pretend he doesn't.
"It looked like you did. I'm sorry for assuming." Although, she's confused. This isn't how Gippal would act normally. He would chase after any girl just to get a piece of her, no matter if he knew her or not. Right?
And she's even more confused. So she's honest.
"Well, even if you don't know her you could get to know her, right? You could go and have fun with her. I mean, I wanted to go back to the temple, but then I thought about stargazing because it seemed like you wanted to go somewhere, and then you were looking at her, and it looked like you wanted to go talk to her. And I know what happens when you go and talk to strange girls, y'know? They aren't really strangers anymore after that, if you get my drift..." She's rambling, but she doesn't care. "So... I knew you seemed to want to go somewhere, and I try to let you go and have fun without having to baby-sit me and so that you won't suddenly become celibate like some kind of nun or something, and now you're mad at me. I can tell you're mad at me." She frowns slightly. "I don't know why, I was only trying to be nice. Just like you were going to be nice and take me stargazing, but stargazing is lame and it isn't some stranger girl who looks like she'd be good in bed..." She sighs, cutting off her senseless ramble.
Maybe he really did like the idea of stargazing and she was just wrong about that blatant stare? "I'm so confused," she mumbles, smacking herself in the forehead. And when she looks up, she looks past Gippal, and her confusion fades away and melts to fear, because she sees someone she hopes she'd never see again, walking down the wooden walkway. With a girl on his arm, that charming smile on his face. The same charming smile he was wearing when-
She swiftly turns and walks away as calmly as she can, Gippal forgotten, pulling her blonde hair over the front of her shoulder. She knows she isn't the only Al Bhed girl in these parts, but she needs to be careful. She doesn't think he's here by coincidence. She doesn't know if he'd really follow through. But she's not going to take the chance. She walks into an Al Bhed apparel store, knowing he would never go there, and she stands behind one of the tall racks, breathing deeply as she stares at the walkway from behind the closed doors of the shop.
But the man she saw isn't him. He's just a man. And her knees are shaking with relief, and she feels stupid for running without taking a better look. But her heart is still pounding with fear, because it is that easy. He could be walking down any street at any time. Not even the most advanced machine can tell her what he'll do. And that scares her.
He thinks she talks too much. And sometimes he wants to tell her to shut up. But then all her thoughts will just accumulate in her little head, and then explode in a wave of rambles, accusing him of this and that and saying he's this and that, before turning away and leaving him by himself. And then she stops talking after that.
He follows her, catching a glimpse of her jacket as she slips into the clothing store. It's a bit childish, he thinks, and childish is very Rikkuish, and maybe he's wondering what is it about her that makes him care anyway?
She thinks he's a manwhore, or suggested it at least. And he doesn't like being labeled that because he doesn't chase after women; women chase after him. And she doesn't understand that the reason why he's mad isn't because he's not gettin' laid tonight. He's mad because it's now his responsibility to chase after her. Make sure she's alright. Make sure she gets what she wants when she needs it. Always looking out for her and being the emotional and physical support she can't get from her lover, her family, or her friends.
And maybe he wouldn't be so mad –- heck, glad even –- if she didn't accuse him every three seconds of being a careless, lying, horny jackass.
He leans against the lamppost, arms crossed over his chest as he waits for her to come out. He glances partly at her hidden frame through the store window, and partly at his motorcycle parked by the corner; the two most important things in his life -- at that moment, at least.
She waits until the man is gone. Just in case. And then she leaves the store.
She keeps her head down, because now she is suspicious. She doesn't want to risk being seen. She pulls her coat tight around her midsection, even though she's not showing yet, because she doesn't want him to be here. She doesn't want to risk him seeing. She doesn't want him to follow her, because she's afraid that he'll follow through.
She walks up to where Gippal is leaning against the lamppost, feeling guilty about making him angry. She knows she doesn't have to worry about him, though. Because even if he's angry... he won't hurt her. Even if he's angry, he won't make threats. Not even empty threats. He'll just be mad.
"Can we go? I thought I saw some- well, I just..." She glances up, her eyes fearful as she looks back and forth around the walkway. When she realizes her hands are shaking, she tries to stop them. She didn't know that even the thought of him would scare her like this. "I just need to get out of here. I don't care where. Anywhere but here."
He unfolds his arms, watching her closely and he's not exactly sure why she's acting the way she is. He knows he should probably just shut up and take her wherever like she wants like she said, but too many questions remain on his mind. And too much frustration is bottled inside.
"It might get a little inconvenient sometimes, but that doesn't mean I'll just abandon you," he tells her. "And maybe sometimes you make me mad, but I'm still here, yeah?" He shrugs his shoulders, glancing down at the ground. "I'll even be celibate if y'want, Princess. And maybe it'll piss me off for a while, but I'll still do it 'cause --" He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. "-- 'Cause you and your kid... That's more important than sex." He smiles a bit at her, quickly turning it into a smirk. "And I can get sex anytime I want, seriously. So stop doubting me all the time, 'kay?
Her hands are still shaking, but not so much, because her slight amusement at Gippal's outburst is making her feel a little better. She smiles a bit nervously because he is still there. He can keep her safe if she needs it. And suddenly she's not so nervous about her surroundings. She steps closer to him though. Just in case.
"I'm not doubting you! I know you can get sex any time you want," she laughs. Shakily. "It's not my business where you and your penis go, I'm gonna stay out of it and hope that you tell me to buck out when you need me to. I don't want you to be celibate. I'm celibate enough for the both of us." She sighs and pulls her coat tighter, glancing around before smiling her special smile at him. Her real smile. Not the cutesy one. Not the dead ringer one that used to be able to work but is now temporarily out of service. The real one. "I'm glad my problems are more important than sex... but that's not what I'm tweaky about, Gippal, it's not. And I'm sorry that I'm annoying or whatever, I can't help it. I'm not as bad as I used to be, I don't think."
He stares at her blankly for a moment, considering whether or not to clarify with her that he meant she should stop doubting his loyalty towards her. But she's smiling now. A strange sort of smile that makes him not want to say anything to ruin it. So he shuts up for now. Because showing her that he's loyal is better than telling her anyway.
Draping his arm around her shoulders, he pulls her close for a moment. Kinda just holding her because he thinks she needs it now, and he doesn't really mind. "Only when you run off all of a sudden. That's annoying, Princess. That, I don't like."
She shuffles her feet on the wood for a moment before her nervousness starts to come back. "I'm sorry... I..." And her hands are still shaking, and even though she feels a lot better, she's still scared. Not of Gippal. Never of Gippal. And she doesn't want to get any more tweaky, because he'll probably think she's unhappy about the stupid sex issue after all the talk about it. She leans her head on his shoulders, grateful for the contact, and wraps her arms around his waist, because she needs it. And she's blunt.
"I thought I saw the baby's father. I don't want to see him again. Ever. So I'm going to ask you to be celibate just this once, for one night, so we can get out of here. I know it's not him, but I'm really not happy right now. I really just want to go home or go stargazing or jump off a bridge or something. As long as we get away from here."
"We're not jumping off a bridge," he says instantly. "I still have work tomorrow." He pushes himself off the lamp-post, arm sliding down her side to rest around her waist. "But we can go home."
That phrase sounds a little strange on his tongue. Home. Our home. He reminds himself that she's just borrowing it for a while. Nine months -- or seven, was it? -- and then she'd leave him. Because she may get into arguments from time to time, but she gets over it. And he highly doubts that she'll keep her firstborn from seeing its real father.
She grins and keeps her head on his shoulder as they walk back to the bike. "Thanks... but I still think jumping off a bridge sounds like a good idea," she says teasingly, forcing her hands to stop shaking, because she's in his grip now, and no one can touch her if he's keeping her safe.
Thank you for all of your reviews, keep 'em coming. The next chapters are going to get a little more intense, so be prepared!
