~ Author's Note ~

Welcome to 'Your Emerald Eyes'

Chapter Eight - Watching Clouds

I hope you enjoy!

(Disclaimer - Rowling owns it all, Merlin praise her.)

A/N - There's still the tiniest breath of life in me so I'm still writing. Sorry it takes so long.


Lily awoke with a start in the girls dormitory. They'd had a girls night in, talking about their lives and everything that mattered alongside all that didn't. Marlene cracked open a bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhiskey - secretly smuggled inside her suitcase on the first day - and they'd all decided that their best course of action for the evening was to get a bit giggly and just enjoy themselves. Lily had noted that neither James or the guys had turned up for dinner, but then she remembered his 'important stuff' he had to do. Either way, he was probably having a ball so she was going to as well.

However, Lily was awake and it was not morning yet. Not in her eyes, anyway. It was three o'clock and she had a mild headache, awoken to the sound of enormous crash. She shot up and held her head, Alice doing the same having fallen asleep beside her.

'Wha -' Alice groaned, yawning. 'Bloody hell, Lily,' she yawned.

'Sorry,' Lily whispered sweetly, her body hot despite her loose pyjamas. 'Go back to sleep.'

Alice, however, was already snoring again.

Lily picked up a glass of water she'd placed beside her bed in the night, taking a long sip. The room was quiet now; where she'd heard that noise from was beyond her. Yet, as soon as she placed the glass on the floor, she heard something else. A small yelp, like a puppy having it's paw stepped on. Lily frowned and stepped out of bed, Alice immediately spreading out in a massive stretch.

She walked over to the door, opening it ever so gently. Down the stairs she could hear Sirius.

'Cutting it short, bloody idiot,' he whispered. 'What kind of person are you?'

'Piss off,' Peter murmured. 'It's not my fault, you're the one with the obnoxiously large arse; you got in my way!'

'Don't blame it on me,' Sirius said, opening the dormitory door. 'Now get in there so I can go and help James - Merlin knows how much he probably needs it.'

Peter swore at him. 'Thanks for your concern, mate, means a lot.'

'See you later,' Sirius said, running down the steps.

Lily decided to go down. She stepped quietly and reached the boy's door, quietly tapping on it. Inquisitive and curious, she wanted to know where James was.

'You live here, Padfoot,' she heard Peter say, 'you don't need to knock.'

Lily hesitated. 'It's not Sirius.'

She heard something fall to the floor, then a rush to the door. He swung it open, staring at Lily. 'Lily?'

She gasped. His face was scratched to pieces, a chunk of his cheek missing. 'Peter, what on earth?'

He momentarily looked confused, then shocked, then anxious. 'You should go to bed, Lily.'

'But -' she was lost for words '- but you're bleeding! What happened?'

He frowned, 'Inside voice, you'll wake everyone up!'

She felt her cheeks redden, then suddenly felt a little angry. 'Wake everyone up? You walk in at three in the morning and expect the Head Girl to not have something to say? Your face is shredded! I'm concerned, Peter - if anyone else walked out here then you'd be in deep shit.'

He stared at her. Lily tried to recall a past experience where she'd had prolonged eye contact with Peter. Somehow, she couldn't remember such a time. His small eyes were wide and to Lily's surprise, somewhat arrogant. He reminded her of James.

'Goodnight, Lily.'

She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could mutter a word, the door was shut and she was alone in the corridor. Every ounce of her wanted to bang on the wood and shout his name demanding answers but for some reason she couldn't bring herself to do it. If Peter could politely tell her to piss off then she knew she wasn't going to win. If James had done that, she'd retaliate. If it were Sirius, she'd blast the door down. But Peter was different. Instead, she turned back to the dormitory, the cloudy moonlight falling upon her like a velvet shadow through an open window.


James and Sirius sat on the couch in front of the fire, the red leather a comfort to their tired bodies. The common room was empty - as it should be at six o'clock on a Saturday morning - and they were sipping some muggle whisky, smooth with a smoky finish. Since fifth year - well, since they were animagi - this had been their tradition. Peter would've joined them had his face not been torn to pieces. The fire crackled and the morning sunlight was stretching over the lake, slowly shimmering its way over to the window.

Neither of them noticed a sleepy Lily resting her head against the staircase, quietly watching the two of them. They looked peaceful, a couple of mates enjoying each other's company. No jokes, no bullshit, just them.

'I hear Led Zeppelin are playing in London next week,' Sirius' tired voice spoke, honey in the morning air.

'Hm,' James grunted, holding the cold whisky glass to his head, cooling a newly formed lump. 'Shame they aren't wizards, bet they'd have a great time in Hogsmeade.'

'Want to go?'

James shifted uncomfortably. 'Ask me when I don't have a dozen gashes in my body, mate.'

'You keep saying that.'

'Keep? As in the last five minutes?'

Sirius nodded. 'You've said that about them, about a brief trip to France next weekend, and about a night out on the town tonight!'

'Mate, there are only so many things you can think of this early in the morning - let alone when you have this many cuts on you.'

'You're boring.'

'You're a child.'

'Yeah? Well, you smell!'

James snorted, sipping his drink.

The fire took over again, Lily deciding to walk over. Her soft slippers tapped against the carpet, the two of them looking at her, neither very shocked. James looked at his watch.

'You're up early, Lils.'

She smiled sweetly. 'Your friend kept me awake.'

Sirius raised an eyebrow, staring at her. 'Peter? Didn't think he had it in him.'

She rolled her eyes, slapping his head. He yelped.

'You woke me up last night, Black,' she spoke softly. Mornings always made people speak a little quieter than usual. 'I went to your room to make sure you were alright. Quite a nasty gash on his face.'

James and Sirius shared a glance that was over so quickly Lily might have missed it had she not been staring at James' eyes.

'Yeah, Flower, about that -'

'Good night?' she asked. 'All of those important things taken care of?'

James sighed, shifting his shoulder. Sirius yawned.

'I'll leave the two of you to bicker,' he whispered. 'Catch you later, mate.'

James nodded, turning to look into Lily's eyes. His body was spread out over the sofa like a starfish. He was wearing a simple pair of pyjama bottoms with a thin, white tank top. Lily could see the scratches beneath, thin slices of blood seeping into the material.

She tried everything she could to muster up the energy to raise her voice, to get angry. Every bone in her body wanted to shout out and remind him that he was head boy, that he was an idol for the school. She wanted him to talk to her and tell her everything.

Instead, she reached over and ran her fingers over an enormous cut on his hand.

'For the first time ever, James,' she sighed, 'I don't want to know.'

His eyes bored into hers. He held up his glass. 'Fancy a sip?'

She shook her head. 'It's six in the morning, Potter.'

'Maybe so,' he said, sipping it anyway.

'Did you get any sleep last night?'

'No.'

She pulled her wand from her dressing gown, running the tip of it along his hand, the skin slowly sewing itself together. 'Sometimes, James, I want to kill you.'

'What -'

'Let me finish,' she interrupted. 'Not because I hate you, or because I want to hurt you. It's because you scare me. Look at yourself. I've seen the scars on your back. I can see them now. I know something goes on between the lot of you and I'm not a bad enough person to investigate, but knowing you it's either considerably stupid or stupidly considerable.'

A bird tapped on the window, chirping. Lily looked at it, watching it's red feathers dance in the light.

'One day, Lily,' James said, 'I'll explain. One day, you'll look back and realise why we all wake up with cuts and bruises and the reason we hide it from everyone. Today isn't that day. For now, you'll have to accept that this is one thing you just can't know.'

Her eyes glistened, pearls in a clam. 'You should get some rest.'

'Lily,' he looked down, his messy hair covering his eyes. 'Can you do me a favour?'

She nodded.

'I can feel one on my back.'

'Shirt off, then.'

'Thanks.'

Lily wasn't sure how to read him. The conversation was raw. It was empty but emotional. It was love but hate. They trusted each other, she could feel it. She knew he still loved her. He knew her as well as she did. He knew what words she'd use, what she'd say and how she'd say it. There was an unspoken relationship underlying their friendship. His shirt was in his hands, his face away from her.

She gasped.

His back was split from top to bottom, a cut larger than any she'd seen before spreading across it. Next to it were two more.

'James,' she murmured. 'An animal did this, didn't it?'

His voice broke ever so slightly. 'No questions, remember?'

She shuddered. Her wand ran up and down his body, whispering a spell with each stroke. His muscles tensed. She could see the pain it caused, the harsh discomfort that would stick with him for days. No amount of wandwork or magic would help that. He winced, a groan escaping his lips.

'Fuck, Lils.'

She half-smiled. The part of her that remembered all the years of James Potter being a prick enjoyed this. The other part of her felt bad.

She knew her hair was a mess. She knew her dressing gown was and tattered and her pyjamas were probably a day or two too old. She knew she'd yet to wash her face of have a shower. However, it was peaceful. It was her and it was him, just the two of them. The morning was without interruption. No matter what had happened in the night, this morning was one she could remember.

She turned his head to face her and kissed him.

It lasted for a split second. Maybe even less than that.

His eyes widened.

'That shouldn't have happened,' she said. 'Sorry.'

She stepped up off of the chair and headed for the stairs, face red with embarrassment.

'Wait -' James shouted after her. 'Lily!'

She carried on walking.


Lily stared at Sirius. They'd somehow managed to meet in the middle of the corridor on the ground floor, in between the Grand Staircase and the building entrance. It was nearing seven o'clock in the morning.

'Where did you come from?' he asked her.

She looked around her at the empty building. Not a soul was awake yet. 'What way did you come from?'

'The staircase. I'm heading outside, Evans,' he said, scratching his stubble.

'So am I, Black,' she insisted. 'Did you come from the common room?'

He nodded, 'I left the room, walked all the way down here, and somehow bumped into you.'

'Black, I've literally followed that exact path. You're lying to me.'

His eyes twinkled a merry grey. 'Hogwarts is full of mysteries, Evans. Under every stone and beneath every ceiling.'

She rolled her eyes. 'You're reciting the blurb of Hogwarts, A History.'

'I didn't know your name was detailed in the description, Evans?'

She sighed, 'Where did you come from, Sirius?'

'Whoa!' he yelped, clutching his chest. 'Sirius? Evans, how could you?'

In spite of her emotion, she giggled, brushing her short hair behind her ears. 'Alright, Black, you can piss off because I've had enough of you.'

She started walking towards the entrance, heading out for some fresh air after the morning's events. Sirius followed. She watched him pick a pipe out of his leather jacket, small and black, and then a pouch of what looked to be brown moss.

'Smoking, Black?' she tutted.

He put the pipe in his mouth to unzip the pouch. 'I'll have you know Aberforth Dumbledore gave me this on a night out in Hogsmede. It'd be a dishonour to the Dumbledore name if I didn't use it.'

She stared at him as they walked into the gardens.

'What? A man can't enjoy a smoke on his pipe in the morning?'

She shrugged, smiling. 'How is it I always end up stuck with you.'

He chuckled. 'Divine interference, my love. Or, James has done enough to piss us both off that we find mutual comfort in each other's companionship.'

She didn't say anything, remembering the kiss, cheeks blushing.

'Something tells me that this isn't one of those times, Flower,' he admitted. 'What's got you out of bed this early? You don't usually surface until the sun's on it's way down.'

She shook her head. 'Nothing, Black, just enjoying the morning.'

He raised an eyebrow, staring at her green eyes. She looked stupendously pretty. No makeup, dressed in a pair of black jeans, a light jumper hugging her body, eyes reflecting the morning light. Simply beautiful.

'Evans, I think you're lying to me.'

She held her hands up in horror. 'Lie? Me? Sirius Black, do you know you're talking to the Head Girl of this school? Do you think I got here by lying?'

He grinned, 'If my best mate is anything to go by then that was all you did to get here.'

They laughed, reaching a soft patch of grass, which, despite being damp, made a perfect seat. They flopped onto the ground and spread out, the smoke from Sirius' pipe endlessly flowing out of his mouth to form different shapes.

'How are you doing that?' she asked him.

He put his lips to the pipe, then made a shape with his mouth and let the smoke leave him, a perfect circle forming in the air.

'I answer if you answer?' he offered.

She smiled. 'No thanks, I'm not that interested.'

They watched the clouds roll by, the sound of the birds singing as they danced through the air filling them with joy. They could hear the sound of an axe hitting wood, undoubtedly Hagrid by his hut. The soft breeze rolled around them. Sirius blew a smoke ring in the shape of a boat.

'Okay, that's got to be magic.'

Sirius laughed. 'A school full of mysteries, remember?'

She looked up at the sky. 'What do you do when something is so damn confusing you can't even comprehend the direction it's going?'

He looked quizzical with the pipe in his mouth. Lily almost laughed. He looked to be a true wizard. It was either that or an English gentleman. Lily decided he resembled the former.

'You continue, Flower,' he said simply. 'Something that's happened, or continues to happen, if it's not in your control then you roll with it until you figure out where life is taking you.'

She looked at him. 'If I didn't know you, Black, know what a jokester you are and how childish you can be, I'd say you're the sweetest person I've met.'

'Can I not be both, Flower?' he winked.

She smiled, taking his hand and squeezing it. 'Maybe.'

The sat in silence for the moment.

'Look at that,' Sirius grinned, pointing at a cloud rolling across the sky. 'Doesn't it look like a giant penis.'

Lily laughed, staring at the phallic cloud. 'It really does.'

He chuckled. 'Life's led you here, Flower. You've got to enjoy it.'

She nodded, her hair bouncing. 'I'll tell you a secret if you tell me one.'

He nodded. 'Now we're talking. You first.'

'I kissed James.'

She said it quickly before she changed her mind. Not even Alice knew yet. Sirius just nodded.

'I thought something had happened,' he admitted. 'How was his reaction?'

She shrugged. 'I don't know. It lasted less than a second and I ran away.'

'Did he call after you? Kiss you back?'

'He said my name but I didn't look back. I just apologised.'

He nodded. For a moment, he didn't say anything. Then, he sighed. 'Never apologise, Lily. If it means something to both of you, whether it's for a minute or a second, never apologise. Now it seems like you didn't want it and both of you will just get hurt. You and I both know how much that isn't the case - you both want this.'

There still wasn't a single person out of bed, bar Hagrid, slowly whistling to himself.

'That's why it's confusing. It's not the right timing.'

Sirius nodded, 'That might be so. However, there's no time like the present, is there? What are you waiting for?'

Lily bit her lip. 'Him.'

'Him?'

'He told me he wanted nothing to do with me. I need a conversation saying differently. I need him to properly say he wants me.'

Sirius gently kissed her hand. Out of everyone - bar Alice - Lily couldn't think of someone else who handled conversations like these better. In spite of his immaturity, his apparent lack of emotion, his playfulness, he always had sound advice. There was more to Sirius Black than he let on.

'It'll work out, Flower,' he smiled, puffing on his pipe again. 'In fact, it's damn exciting. Seven years in the making!'

She half-laughed, then sighed. It was the sort of sigh that was heavy with breath, ragged and jittery as she exhaled. 'Your turn,' she said.

'Hm?'

'A secret, Black.'

'Oh,' he smiled. 'Can you hold off for a day or two?'

'That wasn't part of the deal.'

'I know,' he said, 'but trust me. I think it's time you knew something but I need confirmation.'

She considered it. 'Is it a good secret?'

'Yes.'

'Your biggest secret?'

'Definitely in the top three.'

She smiled. 'Two days.'

He nodded. 'Two days it is.'

'And if you don't fulfil the promise,' she said, 'it'll be jumping into the lake naked.'

He laughed, 'I bet you'd like that.'

She winked, 'You know it.'

They sat back to watch the clouds, huddled close in a friendship they'd insistently deny they had.


~ Author's Note ~

Thank you to all who've followed and reviewed. Your encouraging feedback is what keeps me going. Let me know where you'd like it to go and what you'd like to see. I write completely without schedule and make it up as I go so anything can be added/altered!

Again, sorry for the wait. I hope you enjoyed this!