Heading For Disaster Chapter 8

Obvious FYI: I don't own anything that even remotely has to do with the O.C.!

--Thank you for the reviews! I really appreciate it!

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"Mom," Ryan repeated. "What are you doing here?" he stole a look at Tyler and Jackson who were thoroughly confused.

"Sandy called me this morning. A soccer game? How could you be such an idiot?" She looked at the other two teenagers with disgust. "Father of the Year said you'd get better. So lets go. You don't need to be here." She walked closer to Ryan who tensed up.

Jackson and Tyler just stared at the scene, not knowing what to do. Dawn was blocking any hope of an exit and a nurse was trying to open the door that Dawn had slammed and locked with a chair. She didn't need anyone stopping her.

"I said lets go! Get up." As she neared Ryan, he could smell the alcohol on her breath, most likely multiple seven and sevens. "Now! You don't need to be here with them. No son of mine is a cripple. Why are your fingers kinda curled like that? Straighten them out, you look like a retard. I'm taking you back to Chino where you belong. You stay with the Cohens a few months and look at you." She sized him up again, noticing how thin he'd gotten.

Ryan didn't know what to do. Normally he'd walk away or fight back, but he was helpless now. The nurse finally wriggled the door open, causing the chair to crash to the ground. She walked in just in time to see Dawn unbuckle Ryan's seatbelt and attempt to make him stand up. Of course Ryan fell forwards and couldn't get his slow arms back in time to steady himself.

The nurse ran to Ryan and helped him back up. Two orderlies followed the nurse and forcefully removed Dawn from the room.

"You really are one of them. You can't even sit up! No son of mine is a cripple!" she yelled as she was being shoved out the door.

The nurse shooed Jackson and Tyler from the room as she adjusted Ryan.

"Are you alright, Ryan?" the nurse asked as she surveyed him for any injuries.

"Fine," he replied, tears again forming in his eyes. "Just leave me alone!"

He allowed the nurse to help him into bed and then didn't speak to her again. She left quietly to report the incident and call the Cohens. Walking down the hall she could hear whispers between the boys who had heard the commotion and left their rooms. Feeling terrible for Ryan, she picked up the phone.

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"Ryan?" Kirsten came running into the room two hours later, finding her son pretending to be asleep. "Ryan, honey are you ok? The nurse called me. I'm so sorry, honey." She sat on the bed and stroked Ryan's hair. She turned as Sandy and Seth walked in and saw them close the door.

Ryan didn't respond, but Kirsten knew he was listening. Sandy sat on the other side of the bed and talked softly to Ryan.

"Kid, I was going to tell you tonight that I talked to Dawn about the accident, I'm sorry. She seemed concerned. Can you look at me?" he gently shook Ryan's shoulder.

Ryan opened his eyes at the Cohens, and it made Kirsten's heart melt when she saw the sadness in his eyes. Sandy put the bed up even more so that Ryan's sightline was even with his family. Seth took the chair next to the bed and patted Ryan's hand awkwardly.

"Are you hurt?" Kirsten asked again softly as she looked him up and down, just as the nurse did, looking for injuries. Ryan shook his head and it was clear he was on the verge of tears.

"Kid," Sandy took Ryan's hand. "Look at me. It's not your fault." Sandy could see something in Ryan's face that looked like guilt. That demeanor was present every time he mentioned his life in Chino, as if his own misfortunes were somehow always a direct result of his wrongdoing. "It's not your fault. It's not your fault," he repeated over and over.

The tears began to fall, slowly at first, but it wasn't until Kirsten pulled him into a hug that Ryan began to sob. It was his first real, honest breakdown since the accident, or even ever for that matter. He couldn't hold it together any longer, and eleven days worth of frustration, depression, anger, and embarrassment were released. All Kirsten could do was rub his back as they hugged each other, but that was all that Ryan needed. He needed a mother, and he got one.

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When Jackson returned, Ryan was asleep but woke up to his roommate's noise. Before Jackson could even say anything, Ryan told him he'd tell the story later then fell back asleep.

Ryan was awoken the next morning by Bruce who took him down the hall to the "gym" with the goal in mind of tackling transfers. With the help of another PT, Ryan began to get the hang of it, and by his second physical therapy session of the day on Thursday, he managed to successfully get himself from the wheelchair to the bed and back as well as the wheelchair to the toilet and back. The latter Ryan was especially happy about because even though he had to sit down to pee, the doctors were going to remove the catheter later in the week.

Thursday night Ryan was going to the cafeteria. Monday obviously didn't work out and Tuesday and Wednesday he stayed in his room again as he was still brooding and too embarrassed to see anyone. Jackson and Ryan went down to dinner at 6pm and joined their friends at the table.

Ryan never thought he'd be so happy to use a knife and fork. He was sick of liquid meals. It took him a while to eat his dinner, but nevertheless, he was satisfied.

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After dinner, Jackson and Ryan were heading back to their room before going next door to Tyler and Adam's room to hang out for a bit before the nurses kicked them out. As Ryan slowly entered his doorway, he stopped, surprised at what he saw. Jackson noticed Ryan's change in demeanor and quickly mumbled that he'd see Ryan in a bit. Ryan pushed into the room.

"What are you doing here, Marissa?" he shot her a look of betrayal and surprise.

"I, uh, I came to visit…you know. I…oh, Ryan I'm so sorry!" she began to burst into tears and she made her way over to him. She half expected him to take her back and give her a big hug and tell her everything was fine, but she quickly understood that was not the case as he turned away from her.

"Where have you been, Marissa?"

"I didn't want to make it worse! I know I was selfish, I didn't think you wanted to see me after what I said and then things got busy with school and everything and—"

"Your life got busy? That's your answer?" he glared and then continued. "Do you want to know what my life has been like these past two weeks?"

"Ryan I—"

"When I was at HOAG, I was laying on my back, completely flat for six days. I'd wake up, lay there, then go to sleep and when I finally sat up a week later, I passed out. I'd see more doctors each day than you'll see in your lifetime. You know what else? I can't hold myself up. You see this seatbelt? I fall forward if I'm not strapped in like a fucking three year old. I just learned yesterday how to get myself from my wheelchair to the bed. I have a tube in my dick, Marissa. I can't even go to the bathroom yet. I have seven therapists and a psychiatrist who wants to talk about how I'm 'dealing with my injury.' I'm a fucking cripple, Marissa, and you're complaining about what's going on at school? Is that what's important? Because what happened to 'I'll always be there for you'?"

"I'm so sorry." Was all she could respond.

"I needed you and you were gone! You call yourself my girlfriend? I need you to stay! Chair or no chair." he looked so hurt that she felt as though anything she said wouldn't make a difference.

"Of course I will stay! It's not the wheelchair that bothers me! I shouldn't have said what I said and I should have come to see you sooner. You are always on my mind, but I was too chicken to do anything about it. I came today to ask for your forgiveness and to give you these." She held out a bag.

Ryan slowly took the bag from her, and was surprised to find some clothes that he left at her house. One was a trademark wife beater and the other was a photo T-shirt from the carnival. Ryan had reluctantly agreed to getting their picture printed on over sized T-shirts and he purposely left his in her room that night so he could say he lost it and never have to wear it. Busted. He pulled out the shirt and snorted as he rolled his eyes.

"I wore mine to bed last night," Marissa said, walking towards him again. This time he didn't retreat but gave her a quizzical look. "You don't have to wear it! I just wanted to remind you of that night…it was our first kiss, you know." She sat in the chair next to him.

"I know," Ryan replied, putting his hand in hers.

"I really am sorry," she paused and looked around. "You know…this could kinda work. I'd be your nurse and you'd be my naughty patient…" she raised her eyebrows.

"Don't push it," he replied smirking. Marissa kissed him on the cheek and he didn't pull away.

Summer and Seth appeared from around the corner.

"Finally!" Seth threw up his hands, exasperated. "You two take forever to make up!"

Ryan laughed. "Nice plan, guys. Too bad I could see you popping your head in and out of the doorway, Seth."

"I told you, Cohen!" Summer playfully slapped Seth.

The nurse was about to walk into the room carrying Ryan's medications, but she stopped when she saw the four friends talking animatedly. It was good to see Ryan happy. She'd come back later.