8.
It had been an entire week. As the days had drawn closer to Friday, Tweek had felt his throat slowly closing up. His breathing felt short and painful against his lungs and heart. Tweek entertained the idea of simply not showing up for school on Friday - he knew that he could use the extra sleep, but the idea was mostly rooted in the hope that Craig would notice and ask if he was okay. Tweek supposed that was hypocritical of himself though, because Craig's unrelenting concern had been what had prompted Tweek's animosity to begin with. He decided, however frustrating his day would be, that it was in his best interest to wade heavy-lidded and fuzzy-brained through his classes.
Tweek steeled himself a moment after getting out of the shower, then forced down a bitter pill with a cupped hand full of tap water. He had tried to distract himself with Kenny the previous night - it had worked, for the most part, and Kenny hadn't brought Craig up at all while they sat around his room and pieced together some models. But after his mom had driven Kenny home and he had wormed his way into the couch to watch a movie with his parents, Tweek couldn't help but be reminded of Craig.
He felt terrible. Tweek had resolved that if Craig hadn't contacted him by the end of the weekend, he would have to grovel for forgiveness.
Tweek: Craig please.
Tweek waited for the bus that morning. He didn't think that his legs had enough energy to carry him to the school, and the thought of collapsing into a pile of shoveled snow at the end of someone's driveway wasn't exactly preferable to the school bus, however grating the rides typically were.
He spent his Friday as he'd spent every other day of the week - staring wantonly at the whiteboard and letting his teachers' words melt through barely legible pen strokes onto his lined notebook paper.
Tweek had decided to stay after his last class to ask the teacher a few questions. It was mostly because he didn't want to have to watch Craig breeze past him to his car while Tweek idled, unable to make his voice cooperate with him, but also because he'd fallen behind in the class. And every other class. He didn't think any of his peers would be of adequate help for geometry, and the textbook didn't offer anything for him. He felt a bit pathetic about the whole thing.
"Mr. Seiks?" Tweek asked quietly. He'd made his way up to the teacher's desk, his papers from the day clutched tightly in his hand. They were starting to crinkle.
His teacher looked up from some paperwork that he was trying to compile hurriedly. "Yes, Tweek?"
"I was wondering if you c-could go over this proof with me again," Tweek said. He glanced down at the crudely drawn triangles on his paper. "The scalene one."
"Have you checked the online portal?" Mr. Seiks asked. Tweek watched the man run a hand through his graying hair before getting to his feet and wiping away the marks on the whiteboard.
"Not yet," Tweek answered honestly. "I think I'll get it if you go through it one more time."
"That's kind of a long proof," his teacher said, a soft sigh behind his words. Tweek watched him write a series of times on the board, a half hour between each. "Why don't you come in early on Monday? Or shoot me an email?"
Tweek chewed his bottom lip and looked down at the crumpled C- in the corner of his latest quiz, stalling for a moment. "Okay."
Some students started to walk slowly into the room as Tweek made his way back to his desk. It became apparent to him that Mr. Seiks was tasked with hosting detention for the week, and Tweek thought it was just his luck as he started to pack his bag.
He felt resigned to the fact that he would have to spend the rest of his weekend alone. Not even his teacher wanted to talk to him. He tried to push that kind of thinking out of his head as Tweek sucked down a steadying breath. Still, he didn't know what he would do with himself if Craig kept this charade up. Tweek felt stupid about the whole thing, having played into a fruitless game of cold shoulder when all he really wanted was his boyfriend back. His best friend.
Or, at the very least, some closure.
Tweek startled when he felt a set of fingers tapping briskly on his shoulder. He turned to see Kenny, eyes wide and grinning.
"You're in my seat," Kenny said.
"Oh. Sorry," Tweek mumbled, shoving the rest of his papers into his book bag.
"You got detention too?" Kenny asked. He leaned against the small desk and Tweek tried to step to the side to put some more space between them, but he couldn't quite zip up his bag from that angle. "What did you do?"
"No," Tweek said quietly, keeping his eyes downcast and busying his hands. "I just had some q-questions about the homework, that's all."
Kenny hummed. "Well that sounds lame as all get up."
"So does having detention on a Friday," Tweek shot off quickly, frowning.
"Yeah. You've got me on that one."
"Why are you here?" Tweek asked, more to distract Kenny enough to get to his backpack.
"Oh, you know, skipped the wrong class," he drawled while looking around the room to survey the group of students that would be joining him. Tweek pursed his lips - he'd never skipped a class before on purpose. He wasn't exactly sure what kids were supposed to do with only an hour at their disposal. And the consequence of having to stay late would not only cut into his work hours, but serve as an even bigger annoyance than trying to find a way to spend that hour anyway.
"You end up taking my advice?" Kenny asked, whipping his head around to pin Tweek with his gaze. Tweek physically recoiled, unsure of what he was supposed to do with Kenny so close to him - in a room full of his peers, no less.
"Not yet."
Kenny tsked. His lips were still chapped and he looked almost as tired as Tweek felt. Probably not as tired as Tweek looked, though. Kenny seemed more like he was leaning against Tweek's former desk to keep himself upright, however, not because he wanted to study Tweek as closely as he appeared to be.
"Are you high?" Tweek asked in a whisper.
"Yu-u-up!" Kenny sang out happily, smiling.
"Dude."
Kenny shrugged and let his black backpack fall to the floor with a thud. "It's not that bigga deal, my friend. Gotta pass my time here somehow."
Tweek watched as Kenny leaned forward to pull a piece of lint off Tweek's shirt. "Um." Kenny surveyed the ball of fuzz for a few moments in his bony fingers before flicking it aside onto the tiled floor.
"I had fun yesterday," Kenny announced, looking back up at Tweek.
"Me too," Tweek said automatically. He clenched his jaw, tensing under Kenny's quizzical blue eyes.
"Did you want to get together again?"
"Okay. N-Not this weekend though," Tweek answered in a rush.
"Oh, got some big plans, Tweek?" Kenny teased. Tweek thought Kenny's wide grin looked dumb. "Got a hot date?"
"Come on, Kenny," Tweek grumbled. He made to step around Kenny and head for the door because Kenny's lascivious attitude was starting to freak him out.
"I'm just messing with you!" Kenny insisted, lifting a slender arm out to block Tweek's path. "I know you're still in your heartbroken, pining stage right now. You should get out. Get it off your mind."
"I don't…" Tweek started, glaring at the dirty tile floor. "I don't know if that's really…"
"What?" Kenny insisted.
Tweek readjusted his bag over his shoulder uncomfortably, trying to summon the courage to just breeze by Kenny and make his escape.
"Dude. I'm not hitting on you," Kenny vowed. "Don't flatter yourself so much."
"Okay."
Tweek turned to head the other way down the row of desks and leave the long way around, but Kenny made a grab for his forearm. The sudden movement and touch send sparks through his vision - he felt dizzy and queasy. Tweek closed his eyes briefly and promised himself a nice nap on the couch for his efforts today.
"I'm serious," Kenny persisted. "I know you're all gung-ho about holing up in your house. And that's fine. Do what you need to do to get your head back in shape. But you've got people to talk to about it."
Tweek looked down at Kenny's hand wrapped around his arm, a strange feeling curling in his stomach. "Thanks."
"Yeah. For sure."
"What are you doing?"
Tweek jerked his head around, breaking contact with Kenny, and tried to keep himself from fainting on the spot. Craig was standing stiffly next to Kenny, backpack in hand, and scowling.
Kenny looked elated glancing between the two of them. "Problem?" he said behind a thinly-veiled laugh.
"Yeah," Craig cut in quickly. He stepped around Kenny's outstretched legs and wrapped his grip around the same arm that Kenny had been holding just a few moments prior. Tweek almost lost his footing as he was dragged forward, trying not to stumble headlong into the next row of desks.
He didn't try to break the contact. Tweek didn't even question Craig as he was tugged out into the hallway. The shock of what was happening dulled even the painful grip around his arm and the labored breathing as Tweek tried to keep pace with Craig. He could feel his heart thrumming wildly in his ears.
Craig was here.
Tweek was too heady with anticipation to get anything past his lips - he didn't think he would be able to decide where to start. I'm sorry. Was that what Craig even wanted to hear from him? Where are we going? But that didn't really matter, Tweek told himself. Please don't be mad at me anymore - he wondered if Craig was pissed that he was talking to Kenny. He'd certainly looked angry. Tweek sorted through a hundred different excuses all at once as to why he'd turned to Kenny for advice. GodI'veMissedYouSoMuch.
Craig was silent, unaware of the barrage of emotions and one-sided conversations that were flying through Tweek's brain. They finally came to a stop in a deserted locker bay in the science wing near the back of the school.
Tweek's head was reeling as he stared at Craig, eyes wide and chest heaving. "Wha… What's going on?" he settled on inelegantly.
Craig turned to face Tweek fully. He didn't look angry, Tweek decided, scanning his face for any sign of Craig's emotions. He didn't look particularly pleased either. Tweek's heart swelled up and he fought away a gasping crow as he made a grab for Craig's arm so he wouldn't have to go without Craig's touch for any longer than he already had.
"Craig… I'm sorry about what I said," Tweek rushed, taking another step toward him. "I thought about everything all week and I j-just… I don't want you to be angry with me anymore. You didn't deserve that. You're right, it wasn't fair. I miss you and I'm sofuckingsorry about-"
Tweek wasn't prepared for the forceful connection of Craig's body against his. He felt his back hit the lockers and the wind being pushed from his lungs, and he didn't have a chance to recover because Craig had covered Tweek's mouth with his own. Tweek scrambled for purchase against the metal doors as he tilted his mouth upward, greedily, and tried to ignore one of the dials digging into his hip. He didn't dare break the embrace, however impromptu and public they were being.
Craig pulled away when Tweek felt like he was going to faint, hands still cupping either sides of Tweek's face. Tweek gasped down a few breaths and studied Craig's expression manically in the hope that he wasn't imagining all of this.
"I know, Tweek."
Craig leaned in for another impatient and hurried kiss. Tweek thought Craig might actually turn into one of those interdimensional monsters that he'd speculated about as his vision blackened...
He felt his knees buckle after that.
Tweek woke up, startled, and glanced around the brightly lit white room. His parents were there, sitting immediately to his right, the doorway to the rest of the hospital yawning open just behind them. Craig was there too, hunched over in an uncomfortable looking plastic chair next to the window to his other side. Tweek glanced down at the end of the bed. The hospital linens felt scratchy under his fingers.
"Oh my God, Tweek, we were so worried about you," his mom started. She scooted her chair closer to him when she realized he was awake. His mom didn't seem to be crying, but Tweek noticed the streaks of mascara on her face.
"Sorry," Tweek said sheepishly. He changed positions in the bed, trying to relieve himself from the suffocating atmosphere in the room. "I don't… I don't really know what came over me."
"Your blood pressure got too low," his dad answered. He looked better than his mom did, but there was worry plastered over his usually jovial face as he sat, arms crossed, next to his mom.
Tweek rubbed the side of his head. "I think I remember them saying that," he admitted.
"This was what we were worried about," his mom continued. She made a grab for Tweek's other hand and Tweek risked a glance at her intent expression. "If you don't eat enough, Tweek. This is what happens. You're going to get sick."
Tweek nodded, admitting defeat. "Yeah. I know. I'm s-sorry."
His mom withdrew her hands and settled them into her lap, continuing to stare at Tweek with concern. "What happened?"
Tweek looked over at Craig. He'd since sat up and was regarding the exchange in silence. "Um."
"You fainted at school," he heard his mom say, "but the doctor wanted to know if you hit your head, or if anything triggered the episode-"
"Can I have a few minutes alone with Craig?" Tweek cut off.
He didn't see the surprise on his mom's face, but Tweek guessed it was there. Craig was looking at him, elbows propped on his knees, fingers laced together in front of him tentatively.
"Okay," Tweek heard his mom say behind a sigh. His dad promised her a hot cup of scorched hospital coffee as they got to their feet.
"Your toes are blue," Craig said softly, gesturing toward the end of the hospital bed.
"What?" Tweek panicked as he tried to toss the blankets aside.
Craig cleared his throat. "They were, anyway. When you got here."
Tweek gave up wrestling with the blankets and regarded Craig for a while in an attempt to solidify the fact that he was really here, seated next to him. "Oh. Is that bad?"
Craig shifted, frowning. "I mean, I would assume so."
"Are you s-still mad at me?" Tweek asked quickly. He wiggled his toes. They didn't feel blue.
"No."
Craig looked exhausted, Tweek noted. He had deep, bluish circles under his eyes that Tweek desperately hoped he wasn't the cause of. "Did you have detention?" Tweek asked to change the subject.
"Yeah," Craig answered tiredly. "Did you?"
"No."
Craig carded his fingers and looked unsure of himself. Tweek didn't think he'd ever seen Craig in a situation where he was this uncomfortable - he started to fidget.
"I'm sorry I fainted," Tweek put out. "I guess… that you're just that g-good of a kisser," he added in a weak attempt to break the tension.
"You think so?" Craig humored.
Tweek nodded insistently. "I missed you, Craig," he croaked.
Craig reached out a hand and Tweek let his pale fingers find purchase against the rough heel of Craig's hand. His arm was propped against the plastic sideboard, hanging gently over the edge of the bed.
"And I'm sorry about last Friday," Tweek continued sullenly.
"It's okay," Craig assured. "I shouldn't have reacted like I did either. I just… I dunno, Tweek. I'm scared for you."
Tweek squeezed Craig's hand in his, heart twisting into knots over Craig's words. "I'm sorry," he said again.
"I don't need to hear that anymore."
"Oh."
"Is this my fault?" Craig asked, face screwing up in grief.
"N-No!" Tweek said quickly. "No, Craig, it's not. I haven't really been taking care of myself lately. This was probably going to happen anyway… I just… I know that sounds dumb but I don't really know how to explain it."
Craig frowned and waited for Tweek to elaborate.
"I should have been m-more honest with you from the start," Tweek admitted. He turned his attention to the lowering sun and surrounding deadened foliage out the window.
"What do you mean?"
Tweek shifted again, repositioning his grip on Craig's hand. "Can I talk to you about it when I can go home?" Tweek asked timidly. He didn't want to have this conversation at the hospital. "If that's okay with you."
Craig nodded, jaw set. "Okay."
"Thanks."
Tweek gave Craig's hand another squeeze. Craig's eyes turned themselves toward the tiled floor and Tweek couldn't help but think that he looked sad sitting there. And that made Tweek feel even worse than he'd felt all week. He didn't know if he was supposed to feel bad for Craig right now, but Tweek didn't have the energy to try to wrestle with the thoughts too much. Was he supposed to be angry that Craig had put him through the last seven days without so much as a hello? Was he supposed to just let that go and pretend that everything was back to normal? Tweek wasn't even so sure what normal was between them anymore. He told himself that the latter option was kinder on the nerves.
"You look really tired," Tweek said after a while.
"Yeah? So do you."
"I could use a nap," Tweek answered behind a stretch. He didn't want to sleep in the hospital though - the thought that there were strangers milling about only a dozen paces from him filled him with a sense of anxiety. Tweek briefly entertained the idea of asking whether Craig would spare a sliver of his bed later. The thought of being wrapped up in Craig's scent as he fell asleep made his heart flutter, but Tweek didn't think his parents would be letting him too far out of their sight for a while.
"Me too," Craig agreed.
"Why did you have d-detention today?" Tweek asked. "I mean, I'm glad you did… Wait, I'm not glad that you're in trouble… I dunno. I'm just glad that we're, well, you know…"
"Mm," was all Craig offered to fill the gap that Tweek had left for him. As much as Tweek generally enjoyed his silence, Tweek found himself desperately searching for words to fill the gaps in their conversation. "I cut some classes."
"Oh." Tweek hoped that he didn't have anything to do with that. "Why?"
"Didn't want to go," Craig offered simply. He offered an exhausted smile to Tweek.
"I get that. This week has been r-really tough on me too."
"Sorry," Craig ghosted quietly. Tweek felt a stabbing numbness go through his hands and feet.
"It's fine," Tweek said quickly. "We can catch up on homework this weekend. I mean, if you want to… Hey, do you think they'll waive your detention because of me?"
Craig cocked an eyebrow, surveying the length of the hospital bed. "I doubt it."
"They might," Tweek added hopefully.
Craig shrugged. "You'll have to help me though," he started. "I don't really study that much. I guess I never really learned how."
"Oh, it's not that hard," Tweek insisted. "We can be each other's… cheerleaders."
Craig rolled his eyes and fought off a smile. "That's gay," he mimicked in Tweek's voice.
"Yeah, well. I guess it is."
His parents walked back into the room after that, styrofoam cups in their hands, with his doctor following closely behind. She had a set of files clutched in her manicured hands. Tweek swallowed sharply, knowing that he was going to have to sit through another lecture on her and his parents' behalf. With Craig in the room.
"Are you boys finished chatting?" his dad asked. He settled back into his chair with an audible sigh.
The doctor didn't wait for an answer before launching into a speal about Tweek's eating habits. It was all something that he'd heard a half dozen times over in half as many weeks, from all parties in the room, but Tweek resigned himself to the fact that he probably deserved this talking to.
"You can do real damage to your body," she continued. "Undernutrition can weaken your heart and bones, and put extreme stress on your kidneys. Not to mention making your other existing conditions much worse. Have you been doing this intentionally?"
"No," Tweek assured forcefully. "I just haven't felt good. Eating kinda makes me feel like I'm going to throw up."
His doctor took that piece of information down in her notes and glanced at Tweek's parents. "I'm going to give your parents a recommendation for a daily vitamin supplement. You need to take it with a meal." Tweek watched as she tore off a piece of paper from her notes and handed the slip to his dad.
"Okay."
"Try lighter foods for the first week. Nothing too protein heavy like red meat. After that, try working in a protein shake as a snack between your other meals."
"What about this?" his mom asked, brandishing a packaged sandwich from her purse.
The doctor looked at it briefly. "That should be fine."
Tweek took the plasticked sandwich and set it on his lap.
"You can get back to school on Tuesday or Wednesday," his doctor said in closing. Tweek chewed his lip, immediately wondering how his parents were going to handle the extra hours they had to cover at work without him under house arrest. "I want you to log a food diary on our app. We'll have a nurse check in on it every few days."
Tweek nodded in acceptance of his regimented punishment.
"I'll have one of the RNs come get you off the IVs in a few minutes and you can go home," the doctor said as she made her way toward the door. Tweek relaxed.
"Hospitals use apps now?" his mom asked.
His parents discussed the matter and Tweek turned his attention back to Craig who was in the process of getting to his feet. He stretched his long limbs, casting Tweek in shadow as he obscured the window.
"I have to get going," he admitted.
"Okay," Tweek said, because he couldn't think of anything more concrete to offer. He didn't want to be left alone with his parents right now, but he figured that the whole mess was probably even more awkward for Craig to deal with.
Craig leaned over and pressed a kiss to Tweek's forehead - he would have been more embarrassed since his parents were around, but he couldn't summon anything besides gratitude.
"Bye, Craig," Tweek said softly.
"Thank you," his mom said as she got to her feet. She embraced Craig as he skirted around the hospital bed. Tweek watched her pat him on the back, standing tall on the tips of her toes to do so. "Thank you for calling us so quick."
"No problem," Craig answered stiffly. He waved to Tweek's dad as he made his way to the door. "Text me later, okay?" he added, zipping into his jacket.
"I will," Tweek called a little too forcefully.
Tweek started to pick at his sandwich when Craig left. He wished that Craig would have stayed - he didn't feel like he'd had any time to reconcile the last week. His parents began to grill him over what had happened at the school and Tweek was glad to have food in his mouth so he could have a few moments to think of an adequate answer. He wasn't going to admit to them that he had fainted when Craig had kissed him. They didn't need to know that. Tweek instead settled on telling them that he didn't really remember much of anything at all. Eventually, the nurse came to remove his IV.
Craig didn't take much convincing to get him over to Tweek's house - he'd come straight from work on Saturday. Tweek's parents were working at the shop and he felt a little bad about that, just lounging around the house while his parents were out being productive. Trading off shifts that he was supposed to be taking care of. Tweek had tried to make the best of his time at home though. The mountain of laundry that had accumulated on his chair had been washed, folded, and put away. He'd finally gotten around to vacuuming. His room was cleaner than Tweek had thought it had ever been. Even Craig looked impressed when he stepped into Tweek's room.
"You've been busy, I see," Craig hummed.
Tweek nodded and shut his closet, turning to take in Craig for the first time in what felt like ages. "Yeah. I gotta do something or I'll go stir-crazy. Err… well, you know."
Craig chuckled and set his bag down. He found a spot on Tweek's floor, back pressed up against the bed and legs outstretched in front of him.
"You can sit on the b-bed if you want to."
"No, that's okay. You just made it," Craig said as he made himself comfortable.
"I don't care about that," Tweek answered, scrunching up his nose.
"Really," Craig insisted. "This is fine."
Craig didn't look much better than he had looked sitting in the hospital with Tweek on Friday. His skin was pale. He looked tired, but at the same time, comfortably pleasant splayed out on Tweek's floor like that. He was glad for that, at least. Tweek sat down in his chair after having milled around his room for a few moments longer, stalling to collect his thoughts.
"How was work?" Tweek asked as he clasped his fingers together and leaned forward.
"Long," Craig admitted.
Tweek swallowed. "Are you hungry?"
"Not really." Craig yawned and arched his shoulders in a half-stretch. He tilted his head back against Tweek's bed and the yellow ball on the top of his hat snagged on the corner of the mattress, revealing the black hair that poked its way from underneath. Tweek liked the way Craig's Adam's apple looked from that angle. "What did you want to talk to me about?"
Tweek balled up his hands in his lap and tried to figure out where to start. He was reminded of Kenny's strange, strung-out but well-meaning intensity - what would you want someone to do if you were in his shoes? "Well, I'm sure you've guessed as much, b-but it's about the medication that I'm taking."
There was a long pause as Tweek took his time choosing his next words. Craig didn't try to rush him, heavy-lidded as he was, and patiently watched Tweek shift around in his chair.
"I guess that I should really start off by saying that I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner," Tweek broached in a rush. "It's just that… I'm not really sure what to do with the information right now. And it really isn't a, um, a definite thing. I guess I just didn't want you t-to worry about me…" He snorted a bit at himself. "That kinda backfired, didn't it?"
"Mm." Craig pulled his knees up to his chest and propped his arms atop them. Tweek watched Craig wiggle his fingers around.
"I got a stomach ulcer a little while back," he continued. "The doctors just thought it was something like… I don't really remember what they called it. Referred pain? I dunno. The fact is, they thought I was making it all up or s-something. But they figured it out. I had all these antibiotics and that just made everything else go wrong."
"Bodies are strange places," Craig offered off-handedly.
"I guess. I had to have all these tests and whatever. That's why I was out of school for a while. It wasn't anything serious so I didn't really mention it. But they decided that my brain was what was making everything all haywire. Go figure, right?"
Tweek took a moment to regain his breath. The whole explanation made him feel like he was trying to justify and explain and downplay wherever he could, and the words just ended up feeling desperate and frantic on his tongue.
"So they thought that the meds that I was taking weren't doing enough. A-And they were kinda right. I mean, I still felt like... I don't know, too wound up, I guess. But I mean, that's just kinda who I am. But anyway, they picked a different medication that's supposed to help with compulsions and anxiety and stuff and, well, that's the Klonopin." Tweek tilted his head toward the pill bottle on the end table next to his bed. Craig glanced at it, still expressionlessly listening to Tweek's long-winded explanation. He patted the spot next to him to gesture for Tweek to join him on the floor. Tweek hesitated, but eventually made his way over to Craig.
"And I think… I think it's doing a better job. Than the last stuff, anyway," Tweek continued as he found a comfortable spot next to Craig. He was hyper aware of how their arms brushed together when he tried to relax.
"That's good," Craig put in.
"But… it's an antipsychotic," Tweek said slowly. "I mean, they talked to me about what happens when someone like, actually goes crazy. Like, for real. There's a lot of stuff that makes a p-person that way. I mean, most of that stuff doesn't exactly apply to me anyway, but…"
Craig shifted to look at Tweek's torn face. Tweek wondered if he was losing Craig. "But what?"
Tweek fidgeted and pursed his lips as he tried to force the words out of his mouth. "But like, with all the anxiety and stress that my brain makes up over all this little shit, they think that my brain might not be able to deal with it after a certain point. That I might g-get schizophrenia."
Craig continued his silence for a long moment. It felt like an eternity to Tweek. The worry that Craig thought he was somehow damaged, or worse, a ticking time-bomb just waiting to explode crazy all over everything in his path made Tweek want to take back everything that he'd said. Maybe if he jumped up and yelled April Fools or just kidding gotcha enough times, Craig would forget all of this had ever happened. That option didn't seem likely.
"Guys don't get it until they're like, in their twenties though," Tweek rushed to explain. "And it isn't even a sure thing, it's more just a precaution but-"
Craig wrapped his arm around Tweek and pulled him close. Tweek stiffened with the sudden movement. "But I think it's important that you know because-"
Tweek didn't get another word in through the kiss that Craig had pressed intently to his mouth. His hands were jittery with adrenaline, so Tweek kept them in his lap while leaning into Craig's side.
"I don't care about any of that," Craig said gruffly.
Tweek balked, his breath hitching in the few inches between their faces. "R-Really?"
Craig kissed him again and Tweek thought that sufficed as answer enough. He felt Craig's cold and calloused hand brush against Tweek's jaw, tickling the little wayward hairs behind his ear. Tweek wondered briefly if Craig's hands were dirty from having to carry boxes around all day at work, but he decided that he really didn't care either way. Craig ran his tongue along Tweek's lower lip, and he parted easily for Craig. The salty and sweet, slightly musty taste of Craig's mouth had been a commodity that he'd missed dearly in the last week.
Craig's hands moved to Tweek's back. He felt Craig's fingers make their way under his shirt, trying at the bones and muscles that stuck out from the odd angle that Tweek was perched at, and Tweek eventually let himself climb into Craig's lap. There was an anxious desperation for Craig's attention in Tweek's buzzing brain.
He tried the roof of Craig's mouth with his tongue, careful not to get tangled and caught on teeth. Craig sighed into the embrace and Tweek liked the hot breath on his cheek. He liked the feeling of Craig's hands pressing against his skin. Craig's hands made their way to Tweek's biceps and Tweek found himself on his back on the freshly vacuumed carpet with Craig kneeling over him. One of Craig's hands was held fast to Tweek's jaw while Craig pried into Tweek's mouth with his tongue. Tweek focused on sneaking his breaths between tongue and lips, telling himself that this was what he wanted.
And he did. He wanted intimacy. He wanted to want someone, to feel desired, without feeling like he was hiding something crucial and damning about himself locked away somewhere. Tweek wanted Craig to know - desperately - but was afraid that he'd drive Craig away if he knew the truth. Tweek wrestled with the fact that he'd almost succeeded in driving Craig away, but for different reasons entirely.
Tweek's hands skittered on the carpet until he met Craig's jeans. He clutched the fabric with thin fingers, enjoying the feeling of the worn fabric. Craig pulled away after that and wiped his lips on the back of his hoodie's sleeve.
"Sorry," Craig said softly. He'd turned his attention elsewhere in the room.
"I like k-kissing you!" Tweek stammered. He got his elbows under him and hurried in for another kiss but Craig shook his head and leaned away from the embrace. Tweek felt his heart tighten considerably in his chest.
"No. Not for that. For everything else," Craig elaborated. "I want you to feel like you can talk to me about this stuff. I haven't been doing a good job letting you know that if you were… so scared to tell me."
"You didn't do anything wrong," Tweek insisted. He leaned back on his elbows again, eyes wide as he took Craig in. Craig almost looked ashamed with his face screwed up like that, jaw set and eyes unwilling to meet Tweek's.
"I didn't talk to you for a week. I don't think that warrants your undying trust," Craig mumbled. He stuffed a hand under his hat and rubbed the side of his head. Tweek watched him eventually cast his hat off to the side.
He wasn't sure how to respond to Craig's admission. Tweek bit his lip, trying to search for words of assurance that usually seemed to come so easily to Craig. With their roles reversed, Tweek was at a loss. "I… I'm trying to be better at this. It isn't your fault. This is hard. I don't know how to deal with any of this on my own. So like, I d-didn't think that you needed this kind of thing thrown on you too. Not until I could figure out what to do about it."
"I'm supposed to help you figure this kind of stuff out," Craig said, finally looking at Tweek with a strange expression. "I… I don't think I'm going to be much help, but…"
Tweek reached out a hand and started to work at Craig's stiff fingers splayed out on the carpet. He wasn't sure whether Craig wanted to continue their makeout session, but Tweek knew he wanted Craig to relax and stop blaming himself for Tweek's own foolishness. Tweek brought his hand up to Craig's arm and pulled on the fabric of his hoodie.
"Can we just keep… you know… kissing?" Tweek asked timidly.
Craig regarded him gently for a moment. "Yeah." He obliged.
