Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Marvel-characters!
AN: Thank you so much for your kind reviews! You have no idea how much it means to me. Here is the latest chapter. I hope you'll enjoy this one. Please let me know what you thought of it. I'm dying to get your insights!
~ Nobody Sees ~
Chapter 8
Loki's eyes widened. Never before had he seen his brother so angry. Thor had yelled at him before. He still felt shivers run down his back when he remembered his brother's reaction four years ago. When Thor had learned what Loki had tried to do to Laufey, he had burst into a fit of rage. He had turned red in the face and he had gone around the house smashing every vase and mirror he could find.
But this kind of anger was different. Loki swore he could see murder written in Thor's blue eyes.
He jumped up from his seat and rushed forward. Thor was already turning around to walk away, but Loki quickly grabbed Thor's arms. He had to stop his brother from making a horrible mistake. He knew that as soon as Thor would leave this house, stupid, irresponsible things would happen. Loki could tell by the seize of Thor's arms that he was actually capable of beating a grown man to death. Loki didn't want to see his brother go to jail for him.
"Thor, please listen to me," Loki pleaded.
Thor angrily pulled his arms free.
"I will kill that maniac and-"
Luckily, Tony had decided that stopping Thor was priority at this point as well. The billionaire rushed towards Thor as well and forced him to look into his eyes.
"Thor, you're not leaving my house. Just take a few deep breaths and calm down."
"How can I calm down?" Thor hisses through bared teeth. "I just discovered my brother has been beaten and kicked by his psychologist, a man we are supposed to trust."
Loki swallowed heavily. One part of him is very pleased to see Thor acting so protective of him. It reminds him of when they were younger. No one ever touched Loki out of fear to face Thor's wrath. But at this moment, Loki also wants his idiotic brother to calm down. This isn't helping anyone and Loki is growing agitated.
"Why don't we just listen to Loki," Tony offered, "listen to what he has to say. Let him explain this."
Loki couldn't believe what Tony was saying. Actually telling the truth about what happened would just send Thor over the edge. If Thor wanted to kill Doom now, he would want to slowly torture the doctor to death after the explanation. Loki liked a part of that fantasy, but he also knew Thor needed protecting against himself at this moment.
Only then did Loki realize that both Tony and Thor were staring at him. His breaths came raggedly from his chest.
Was he hyperventilating?
"Loki?" Thor asked. Fury was still very much visible in his eyes, but clearly concern for his little brother was coming back to him as well. Loki supposed it was an improvement. "Loki, are you all right?"
This was all becoming too much. Loki had not been prepared for this when he had gotten up this morning. He blamed himself for the mess. He shouldn't have let Doom's name slip. How stupid hadn't he been? Now he had to face the consequences and Loki despised it.
Tony frowned slightly and said his name again.
"I'm fine," Loki snapped. He truly had enough of these unnecessary concerns.
"You've got to tell the truth now, Loki," Tony said, his voice calm and strangely kind, "we are only trying to help you, but if you don't let us-"
"It's too late anyway," Loki sighed, feeling exasperated. He wanted to disappear from this kitchen as quickly as possible, but he knew Thor and Tony wouldn't let him go now. He rubbed a hand over his tired face. "It's all done. I know Doom regrets his actions, he has left me enough messages already."
Thor turned horrified.
"You still have contact with him? Even after what he did to you?"
"Not really," Loki replied, shrugging, "he calls me a dozen times a day, but I never pick up. He just leaves me messages on my voicemail and says the same thing over and over again. He says he is sorry and that he hopes I'll forgive him."
"You know," Tony said hesitantly, frowning again, "that doesn't really make sense…unless…"
"Unless what?" Thor asked, his gaze shifting between his friend and his brother.
Loki hated that Tony always figured him out so easily.
Tony only had eye for the youngest Odinson now.
"Unless," the billionaire continued, "you have some kind of leverage. Why did Doom beat you in the first place, huh? Why did you manage to run away, escape and why hasn't anyone come looking for you here?"
Thor's eyes widened. He looked about ready to beat himself on the head. Tony's questions were so simple, but Thor had never thought of them. Loki wished they had never been brought up.
"No more secrets, brother," Thor said softly. For the first time, he looked tired and desperate.
Loki couldn't stand it. The truth be told, he felt tired and desperate as well. He was sick of all the hiding and he was sick of keeping his pain inside. Perhaps he shouldn't bother anymore. Thor and his friend already knew this much so they might as well know everything. It would only be a matter of time before they would learn the truth in the end.
"Doom doesn't want me found just yet," Loki answered after a long silence. He was beginning to think he wanted some people to know what had really happened. Perhaps he really wanted Thor to know. His brother had done so much for him already and Loki figured he owed him. "He definitely doesn't want me found with all these bruises so clearly visible."
Thor balled his hands into fists. Anger was returning to his blue eyes and Loki could tell Thor was itching to punch something.
Tony was the one that kept his head cool and asked, "Why did he do it?"
"Thor," Loki placed a hand on his brother's shoulder, gazing directly into his eyes, "promise me you'll listen and that you won't do anything stupid after this. Promise me you won't judge me."
"Alright," Thor breathed, "I promise."
Loki sucked in a deep breath. This would be the first time he told someone this. It might feel like a relief or it might be his biggest mistake yet. Loki wouldn't know until the end. He swallowed heavily and couldn't help but glance away from his brother.
"Doom has been my psychologist for two years now," he began, "when I first arrived at the center, I was stuck with this old, boring man that never really listened to what I had to say. I hated my therapy sessions. Why would I want to talk to someone who couldn't care less about me? And then Doom replaced him and for the first time, I met an adult that actually seemed to give a crap about me."
Thor looked pained, but said nothing.
Loki continued, "During our first session, we talked about non-important stuff. Movies, books, music. We hit it off and I was actually looking forward to our second session. That one was more difficult since I had to talk about my family. I also had to talk about you, but it was okay because Doom understood me and he listened. He didn't ask questions when I didn't want him to and he didn't push for any truths."
"Then what?" Thor asked carefully.
"Then around session four, we were talking about my childhood. It was a good talk. I confided in him that I was adopted – something he undoubtedly already knew, but again he listened and again I felt relieved afterwards. I felt a burden had been lifted from my shoulders. Then out of nowhere, at the end of the session, he kissed me."
"What?"
Tony slapped Thor hard on the arm, making him shut up.
Loki ignored it.
"At first I didn't know what was happening, I just knew … I liked it. It was soft and tender and Doom didn't push for anything more. I was just fifteen and it was around the time where I began to understand that you, Thor," Loki had difficulty pushing back his fears and concerns and he had trouble forcing his tears away, "I knew you wouldn't be coming around to visit me again. I was just lost."
Thor stood there, his eyes wide and his lips slightly parted. He was shocked and clearly a bit nauseous. Loki didn't want to see that so he closed his eyes and forced himself to continue. He needed to get a grip on himself.
"Then another five sessions later," he said apathetically, "he was fucking me. It was only a few weeks ago that I finally…I don't know, came to my senses? I realized that what we were doing was wrong. Doom was clearly taking advantage of me and what he was doing can be considered statutory rape. I've always been smart and I thought I could use that to my advantage. Last time I saw Doom, I confronted him. I told him we were done and that if he didn't help me get out of juvie soon, I would tell the world of our little activities."
"And Doom snapped," Tony understood.
Thor looked pale and he was trembling.
"Yeah," Loki sighed, unable to focus on his brother. He needed to complete his tale. "You should have seen him. He was so angry. He pushed me and I fell. Next thing I know, I am being kicked again and again. It lasted maybe five minutes and when Doom realized what he'd done, he was completely in shock. That's when I ran. I figured it was my best chance to escape. I couldn't go to mother, however, because she would be heartbroken and father…well…he'd never believe me so I came here."
Finally, Loki found the courage to look back into Thor's eyes. He saw how utterly broken Thor was. His blue eyes were wet with tears and Loki knew his brother felt guilty. However, no matter what he would tell him, Thor would continue to feel guilty.
"Brother?" Loki asked softly.
"I…" Thor cleared this throat, steadying himself, "I had no idea."
"I know."
"I will kill him," Thor whispered, "I swear I will-"
"You can't," Loki interrupted him, smiling faintly, "you wouldn't want to end up in jail, would you?"
Tony stayed quiet.
Thor began to shake his head.
"But this, Loki, this…" He inhaled deeply. "You're my little brother and I have always tried to protect you. I failed in that task, I know that, so I want to make it up to you. Let me do something."
"If you want to do something," Tony said, looking at his friend, "then convince Loki to go to the police."
"They'll never believe me," Loki explained stubbornly.
"Of course they will," Thor objected, "you have enough proof. You have the bruises and I know Bruce, as a doctor, made an official report for you. I will support you in this and I know our parents will as well. Doom can't get away with this."
Thor had a point. Who was to say he had been the only one Doom had used like that? He might have been the first, but he might not be the last. Loki had never cared much for the other kids, but he wished this fate upon no one.
Still feeling uncertain about this, he agreed.
