Part 8

Her foots steps crunched in the snow as they walked in silence next to each other, their glove clad hands occasionally brushing the others making Maria's breath hitch slightly as she berated herself for inviting him. Not that he would have let her walk out of the house alone, heaven forbid if she had he would have certainly given her more than a mouthful when she returned or at the very least followed her despite her protests.

Her mind drifted to earlier when they had exchanged gifts and smiled at the small weight of the necklace that hung lovingly around her neck. Never had she received such a thoughtful gift, true she and the sisters had often given each other small gifts upon Christmas much like she would tonight but it was never something as meaningful as this had been… she just prayed that Georg liked what she had given him. He had seemed happy with it but his expression had been hidden, locked away from the prying yet loving eyes that surrounded him.

In truth she was nervous as to if it were too intimate of a present, governesses did not often buy their employees cuff links did they? She bit her lip in embarrassment, the cold wind hitting her face and cooling the flush that was quickly spreading up her neck and across her cheeks like wild fire. But as she had passed the shop earlier this morning on her way back home she could not resist, the smooth gold had caught her eye along with the intricate design of a ship in the middle. One would have thought they may look tacky, but to her they suited him. Maybe he would never wear them, maybe he thought them vulgar but to her they summed him up beautifully. He was warm like the reassuring golden glow of the metal, he was cold at a first touch but soon warm under ones kind presence and was beautiful to only the eye of the beholder.

In mid thought her foot caught on a branch covered by snow making her stumble but strong and reassuring arms soon caught her arm and waist sending tingles through her body despite the many layers of clothes that separated them.

"Sorry…" she mumbled as he steadied her, her hand tightening in his as her feet found sturdy ground again.

Georg smiled at her embarrassment and let his hands linger on her lithe body for a moment longer, making sure she was stable "It's fine, there's no need to apologise" her gaze found his and his stomach tightened in warmth as he saw the nerves lacing her eyes "Lost in thought?" he inquired gently, the quite sounds of the night surrounding them as his hand still lingered on her.

Forcing a small smile she blushed "Something like that" her hand gently releasing her grip on his before looking away and nodding for him to let her go before they started walking down the road again.

Stealing a glimpse of him through the corner of her eyes through the dark she smiled when he caught her looking "Forgive me" she said quickly "I just… wanted to thank you again, for your gift this evening" she confessed sincerely as she gazed at him as they walked "It truly was the loveliest and most precious thing I've ever received" she whispered, the wind barely carrying her voice to him, as snow slowly fell around them.

He smiled and looked down towards the ground, hands brushing hers again, itching to take them within his "It was the children's idea, I mean…"

Grasping his hand she gently stopped him her eyes drowning in his despite the large lack of light in the street "Somehow… I sincerely doubt that Captain" somehow knowing that for all his faults and mistakes he only meant well, and knew that he had taken the time to think about and pick the present he had brought for her in detail.

"I hope you don't think me forward"

"If it is it can't be anymore forward than the cuff links I bought you" she confessed as she looked away with embarrassment once again.

Taking her chin he brought her gaze back to his, sensing that tonight both of their barriers were down and all bets were off, just for tonight "They were lovely, thank you"

Maria read his eyes, finding the truth there and her heart sighed in relief "Truly, you like them? Not too tacky or…"

"Beautiful" he said firmly unsure whether to if he was talking about the cufflinks or her, but shook his thoughts away quickly "Truly" he reassured her before letting his hand slip away from her chin and Maria biting her lips not to whimper at the loss of contact she so desperately craved.

Once again she forced another smile, it paining her to be so close yet so far away from him "Well, I'm glad" she paused as she looked at him "Shall we?" she asked gently motioning for them to continue walking.

Nodding they turned and continued their slow yet comfortable walk, their body's staying close and brushing against the others, seeking any subtle comfort they could, shadowed by the dark of the night.

Georg breathed in, his hat though keeping his head and ears somewhat warm unable to completely shade him from the piercing cold wind and snow as his thoughts stayed on the beautiful smaller woman next to him. He was glad he was able to give her some sort of happiness and gift after everything she had done for him and was still doing for not only him, but his wife and children too. The way her eyes had lit up and teared up with what he hoped were tears of joy as she had opened his gift had made his heart swell and therefore been the highlight of his night, just to see her happy.

He sighed, his breath misting in front of him as he prayed to the lord that she would one day find happiness, even if it were in the arms of another… because the lord knew she deserved it. She deserved so much more, she deserved everything, but the things he knew she wanted most, what she desired and needed most, he could not give, and that, that small yet defining fact crushed him in every meaningful way possible.

Because for all his gifts, pleasantries and thanks, he could not give her what he desired most and felt most deeply, he could not give her his love freely. He couldn't shout to the world how much he loved her, he couldn't show her how much he desired her, he couldn't tell her how beautiful and amazing she was, how with one smile she lit up his entire world and how with one tear it could come crashing down so mercilessly.

Maria glanced at him as they neared the church, his straight posture not fooling her one bit and knowing, despite herself, that they were a little more slumped than usual, not that anyone would notice, only her. She knew him like the back of her hand whether she wanted to or not, like now, she could feel his thoughts racing around his mind like a raging storm and had to resist the urge to just hold him and love him. To tell him that everything would be fine and kiss away all of his fears. And for a moment her heart stopped as she remembered their promise…

Crossing the road she stepped in front of him and had to stop a smile from forming upon her mouth as she felt his hand at the small of her back as they crossed the road. Safely across they continued down until they were in front of the abbey gates until she paused and looked at him, her heart skipping a beat as she did so. She smiled nervously, him giving her the same knowing smile, the one they would always share, the one that said this is you and me, no one else just you and I, for one night, as he breathed "Maria…"

Licking her lips apprehensively despite the cold she inhaled in his sweet scent as he stepped close "Just, for a moment" she whispered, his gaze pleading, asking for permission which she gave as she touched his arm "I've missed you" she breathed as his hand slipped to her waist, his forehead touching hers as she slipped off his hat with the other hand.

"And I you, so very much Maria" he whispered, as they bathed in each other's close presence. Maria's heart sighed with relief and love as she leant against the man she loved with all her heart. She had missed him so much and though she knew it wrong to do so, that she shouldn't even be thinking about him in that way let alone touch him she couldn't help it. For they had vowed so long ago on that night they had found out Elsa was pregnant that no matter what happened come rain or shine, they would fine one moment for each special occasion. Each time they could they would have one moment, one night, and slowly she hoped she would be able to move on, though deep down for her she knew it was most likely impossible.

"You remembered" he said quietly stroking her cheek and trailing down her neck as far as he could due to the coat and scarf that encompassed her.

"Of course I remembered" she murmured against his hand "We promised…" looking up into his eyes she smiled "They may not be marriage vows written down and bound to you by paper but my heart is bound to yours georg I swear it"

His body burned with love and want despite his resistance, but still he stayed strong and shook his head, tears in his eyes "Oh my love, you don't deserve this, don't deserve to be stuck with me, you deserve so much more…"

Maria silenced him as she covered her hand over his mouth "No, I choose to be with you, for now at least. But what I deserve is for you to let me love you from a afar while I still can… And though its slow you have to let me move on in my own time" her eyes sparkling in the dim light of the street lamp as she poured her heart out to him in the quite snow falling night "I love you Georg, and though I'm trying not to, it's so very hard, so let us have this one night while we still can" she pleaded, hoping he would accept because she wasn't sure she could bare it if he said no. Yes she forbid herself from even looking at him most days, but tonight was different, tonight was theirs.

Smiling he kissed her cheek "But know that you can walk away at any time tonight" he said, no more words needed and with a nod she kissed the palm of his hand that had held her cheek, allowing them only a moment longer before stepping away but keeping their hands in the others.

Opening the gate the stepped inside, only letting each other go when they saw the first nun "Sister Margaretta" Maria said smiling before rushing up to the older woman and hugging her tightly.

Margaretta laughed and hugged Maria back with equal love "Oh Maria, how we've missed you! The abbey lacks your warmth but we think of you most days I assure you" she said as stepped away a little to look at the younger woman's rosy cheeked face.

Maria smiled "And I have missed you all very much too, even sister Berthe" Maria whispered making Margaretta laugh for a moment.

"I confess, though she will deny it, I think she has missed you as well, and the mother most definitely, we didn't even know you were coming tonight, if we had known we would have made you come earlier and share a meal with us. I take it your Christmas has…" Margaretta paused as she caught sight of movement near one of the pillars.

Maria noticed her gaze shift and followed to Georg, his kind eyes boring into hers as his dark hair blended in with the dark stone, only just remembering she still had his hat before turning back to Margaretta "Forgive me sister, I hope you don't mind but I brought the Captain with me"

Margaretta smiled her eyes as always kind and accepting "There's nothing to forgive, he is most welcome" she said as Maria motioned him over and returning his hat.

Georg smiled and nodded in hello "I hope you don't mind my intruding sister, Maria was to come alone but I would not let her walk the dark roads without someone with her"

"Nonsense, I'm glad you came, we would all be quite upset if anything happened to her, so it seems we sisters are in your debt Captain. Come, everyone will be pleased to see you both" she said as the started walking into the main part of the church where everyone was starting to gather "I hope your children and wife are well Captain?" she asked, Maria and Georg walking behind her.

Maria bit her lips at the mention of the baroness despite her kindness and understanding she couldn't help but wince at the mention of his wife. Forcing a smile as Margaretta glanced back he gave a stiff nod "They are thank you, and the children as always a little too excited for tomorrow morning" he replied, smiling genuinely this time.

Maria's heart expanded with warmth and love at the mention of the children. Because at the end of the day whatever ever happened between her and Georg, it did not matter because the beautiful seven children would always be their constant, the one thing keeping them connected no matter what.

As they entered the reverend mother caught sight of them and smiled, turning away from the other sisters and postulants as she walked somewhat swiftly yet gracefully down the aisle towards her beloved ex-postulant, Maria.

"Mother" Maria breathed as she left Georg's side and rushed into the reverend mother's arms despite the stunned expressions of the other nuns aside from Sister Berthe, Margaretta and few others. Sister Berthe smiled as she watched the scene unfold, the reverend mother offering the girl more love than she should, but how couldn't she? Even she herself felt so much more for the young girl than she let on, she was their daughter, the young, naïve sweet and funny girl whom had entered the abbey with a broken heart yet a giving and loving soul. She had brought life back to the dull and sullen abbey walls and though sister Berthe tried to keep the stern and strict rules she couldn't help but secretly relish in the joy and breath of fresh air the woman always bought with her.

Walking forward she joined them with a small smile upon her face.

The reverend mother smiled and kissed the Maria's forehead as they separated slightly "My child, I'm so very happy to see you, we feared you would not come, why did you not write?" she asked as she took in the girl who had seemed to mature overnight into the woman she had always hoped yet feared she would.

Maria smiled as she held the mothers hands "Forgive me, I meant to write, but I've been so busy, but I would never miss this, not for the world" Maria promised as she quickly kissed the mother abbesses hands in respect.

"Well you're here and that's all that counts" she paused looking to her right to see sister Berthe, a small and rare smile gracing her lips before turning back to Maria with a secretive smile "I think even sister Berthe here is happy to see you" she whispered conspiritively yet knowing the other nun could hear her.

Maria chuckled as she turned to the other woman "And I her, I would kiss the floor a thousand times over just to have another disagreement with you sister Berthe" Maria teased watching as the nun rolled her eyes before the girl rushed into her arms, hugging her tightly, sister Berthe hesitating for a moment before returning it with favour.

"Don't get use to this but I admit the abbey has not been the same without your antics" she whispered before kissing her cheek.

Maria chuckled as she pulled away "I assure you I won't" she teased back.

The mother smiled at the two women before noticing the man whom had kept Maria from them for nearly half the year "Mr Vontrapp, you are joining us this evening?" she asked with a sincere smile.

He smiled in return "I hope you don't mind…"

With an assuring hand gesture she spoke softly "Of course not, it will be nice to have you with us" she said noticing as everyone started to take their places "Shall we?" she said watching as both guests nodded and started to follow the crowd of visitors and nuns. The mother watched cautiously as Captain Vontrapp placed his hand on the small of Maria's back helping her into her row and how she with love gracing her eyes touched his hand in return, actions so small but often treasured by ones lover…

She sighed in nervousness, she did not believe Maria to be anything less than a virgin, treasured and careful whom she gave her love to. But that did not stop lust from swaying people's actions and Maria was so young and naïve that the reverend mother couldn't help but worry. The young woman was like a daughter to them all, a problem but a beautiful and adored problem whom they dearly missed. She brought life and laughter back to the abbey and though she was not made for the abbey it was true, she was no less devoted. But yet her destiny lay elsewhere she just hoped it was lain before her soon and not too late for her to be blinded and to take the wrong path.

With a heavy heart and a forced smile she often wore the service started.

-SOM-

Maria rolled her shoulders as people started leaving the rows. Being sat on a wooden bench for an hour was not at all comfy despite showing her respect and love to god. She felt a hand squeeze hers and smiled as Georg looked at her with concerned eyes. Oh how she wished those eyes would look at every day like that... biting her lips she cast the thought away and squeezed back knowing it was only for tonight.

Georg stood and offered his hand to her, another excuse for them to touch without being questioned too much with the prying eyes that surrounded them. She took it and started to shuffle their way out of the small crowded pews, their hands still connected when...

"Maria!" the reverend mothers voice called out making them pause in aisle. With a squeeze on Georg's hand she smiled "I'll be back in a moment"

"I'll be in the door way" he responded before she turned away from him and walked towards the mother who was at the other end of the church.

When she reached her she bowed in respect "Was there something you needed mother?"

She shook her head "No, I just…" pressing her lips together she paused and looked at the crowds of people still in the church before gently guiding her away from them for a moment "Maria, I do not mean to pry but…" she sighed again unsure how to put something so delicate into words that would sound too brash and accusing.

"Mother?" Maria questioned with a frown, confused and somewhat concerned. There were not often times when the mother abbess was at loss for words and for her to be so, was unusual and quite concerning to Maria "Is everything alright?"

"Yes of course, it is you I am concerned about" she assured the young woman "The Captain… he treats you well?"

With surprise Maria answered without hesitation "Yes, of course, he's been nothing but kind and generous" she said honestly knowing the mother knew her feelings for the man, for of course she had practically shouted them to her when she had run back to the abbey all those months ago.

The mother observed her with kind yet analysing eyes "I believe nothing less Maria but love can be difficult and… lust ever so persuasive…" she said hitting the nail on the head so to speak.

Maria looked at the woman she so respected in shock "I… we haven't, it's not like that!" Maria squeaked.

"I didn't say it was, I was just concerned, I'm not a blind woman Maria and there's only one reason he would marry the baroness, for the way he looks at you and her are very different" she whispered making Maria bubble with anger "I just don't wish for you to end up in the same situation"

Biting her lip not to snap she narrowed her eyes "His reasons do not matter, he married the baroness for good reason they make a fine couple, but just because he has my heart does not mean he has my body too"

"And I would expect nothing less from you Maria, but even nuns can be swayed…" she paused looking away in guilt.

Maria frowned "You…"

"No" the mother whispered quickly "I am still untouched but I do know from experience how tempting and powerful the emotion of lust can be" she said sincerely , reading into the younger woman's eyes and seeing the love for the man that shouldn't be there "Just be careful Maria"

Maria nodded knowing the mother only meant well, after all she had been the one to encourage her to follow her heart, and she only wanted her to be happy "I will" she said quietly before kissing the older woman's cheek and returning to the man she could love for only one night...