Too Close

A week later.

I don't know why I kept eating lunch with them. They just made me laugh. And that was something that was rare in my life. I enjoyed their company. But most of all….I liked talking to Kurosaki. I found myself becoming close to him. Maybe too close. I would have to watch myself from now on.

I leaned my back against the tree. It was kind of nice really. Sitting here in the shade with a group of friends. It had been so long since I had even wanted to truly smile. But that is what was happening here. Before I knew it my guard was down again to this orange haired brat and his gang.

"So where did you live before here Kari-chan?"

I looked up to see Rukia smiling at me. "Huh?"

"Before you moved to Karakura Town, where did you live?"

I closed my eyes. "I lived in Tokyo for a year after coming to Japan from America."

"Why did you leave America?"

"Why did I leave…."

The door creaked open. "Izuma? Come out come out where ever you are." A shadowy figure entered the room.

Hatred and Fire burned my soul as I stood there in the dark room. A glow lit up the wall and I looked down to see flames sprouting in my fingertips. The door clicked shut.

The shadow spoke. "Playing a new game are we?"

"Damn you!" I spat.

The cold laughter echoed off the clean walls. "Don't tell me you're jealous?"

"As if!" I could feel the fire growing as the laughter continued. " It wasn't enough for you huh?" I screamed. "You had to go and do this too?!"

The figure stepped closer and the fire grew hotter in my hands.

"Iz! Kari! Where are you?" I heard E.J.'s voice in the living room.

I didn't answer. I just locked eyes with the monster. He reached for me. "You little bitch."

"Kari-chan? Hello?" I heard a faint sound and then felt a hand on my shoulder.

Ichigo's touch snapped me back to reality. "What? Sorry." I said shaking off his hand.

"Are you okay?" His voice sounded concerned.

"Ye-Yeah. Of course." I smiled. "I was just day dreaming."

He shook his head. "You looked upset."

"I did?"

I looked around and they all nodded.

"Sorry." I mumbled and stood up. "Well time to go back to class." I hurried off. It was bad enough that I was having nightmares. Did I have to have day mares too?

"Hey wait a second." He jumped up and came after me.

"What do you want Kurosaki?" I snapped.

"What was that back there? What has you so freaked out."

"I already told you nothing."

"That's bullshit and you know it. What's wrong? You can tell me…. The look on your face…."

"It's none of your concern!" I quickened my pace. What did he know anyway? Nothing!

He grabbed my hand and spun me around to face him. "When are you going to stop bottling everything up?"

"When you stop sticking your nose in everyone's business!" I cried.

He hung his head. "You know if you keep pushing people away," his voice lowered, "you're going to end up lonely."

You've got some nerve! "I don't care. At least I know I will never hurt me."

His eyes rose to meet mine. They were burning. "I'm not so sure about that."

We stood there in the school yard looking at each other for a few minutes before I backed away from him. "What do you know about it Kurosaki?" I yelled as I ran out the gates. I was going home.

He didn't follow me. I was relieved. But as I closed the door behind me a part of me wished he would have. That part of me wanted to tell him everything.

"No! I refuse!" I screamed at the empty apartment. "I won't let him in!"

I threw open the fridge door and grabbed a bottle of whiskey that I had recently hidden in the back. I poured a glass and chugged it. "I just want to forget. I want to forget about everything. Why won't you let me Kurosaki? Why do you want to know my nightmares?"

I was lying on the living room floor when the door opened.

"Oh Jesus. Kari!" I opened my eyes to see my brother's blurry face hovering over mine.

"Oh....Hiiiii….big brothhhher.." I stammered.

"Dammit. What did I say about this?"

I laughed and clung to his arms. "Neva...do dat….again?" I slurred.

"Come on baka." He said and lifted me into his arms. This wasn't the first time he had to carry me to my bed. I should probably be ashamed but at the moment I was too drunk to care.

"Arigato. Nii-san!"

"What would mother think of you?" He sighed and helped me into my pajamas.

I fell into the bed and brought the covers to my chin. "She would say 'I'm disappointed in you….Hikari.'"

He sighed again. "You really hurting that bad?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Then I think you should spend more time with your friends. You are always happier on days you talk to them."

I pretended to snore so he would just leave me alone. He muttered something and left closing the door behind him.

"I don't need friends." I whispered.

"You know if you keep pushing people away you're going to end up lonely."

I shut my eyes. "Why do you even care?"

The booze was wearing off. Just my luck. I thought about the last two weeks and how much everything had changed in that short time. E.J. was right. I was happier on the days I hung out with them. Even when I faced the creatures…hollows. even on those days, it was better if I had seen them.

Who was I kidding? It wasn't them that made me happy. It was him. He was the reason for the smile spreading on my face. He was the reason for my retreating when things got tough. His snug smirk and cocky attitude! That bastard had my stomach doing summersaults.

He made me want to tell him about my past. But if I did would he run away? Would he hurt me too? Wasn't that the reason I kept people at a distance. I didn't want to be hurt again. And I didn't want to hurt anyone anymore. That would be end result. Either I got hurt or he would.

Wait. What am I saying? It's not like I have feelings for him. besides. Orihime is in love with him. He could like her, love her even. I felt a pain in my chest. He could defiantly be in love with her too. But then why does he look at me that way. I kind of like it. I liked his eyes on me. Why was that? I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. It's impossible. There is no way I could…..like that jerk. I kicked my legs in anger. "Shit!" I cried. There was no denying it. I liked him….I liked Kurosaki.