Tim was practically running through the bullpen and he didn't care. His heart was racing in a pounding rhythm and he felt flushed with suffocating heat. He had to get OUT. He had to get AWAY. He had to go somewhere. Away from the questions and the eyes constantly watching and judging him. Dr Lewis. Vance. Even Ducky. When he was in the office he was sure people were whispering about him, pointing, the subject of pitying scuttlebutt. He couldn't take it anymore. Couldn't they all just leave him alone? He didn't know where he was going, he was just letting his body take over and instinctively he was heading towards the elevator. He was clawing at his shirt collar trying to create more air or space or something as his breathing starting to speed up in panicky gasps.
Get out......
A dark underground room.
A wooden boat
His own voice crying out, almost unrecognisable.
Forbidden thoughts were crowded in on him, suffocating him. The look of pure ecstasy on Tony's face as he came, his face flushed and sweaty as Gibbs fucked him, hard and desperate. The eager gleam in Gibbs's eye as he watched Tim slowly strip the clothes from his body. A man laughing. The rustling sound of pants and belt falling to the ground. The feel of two pairs of warm soapy male hands washing him slowly under the warm shower as 'punishment' for being such a bad boy. The laughter they had shared when Tony had tripped on his own shoes in the dark and fallen loudly on his ass when trying to sneak out of Gibbs's bed to steal the last cold slice of pizza from the fridge. The eager look in the gang leader's eye as he had been dragged screaming over to the hated table and was again forced down over it. Strong male hands pinning his struggling shoulders down hard to the table. A man laughing. The rustling sound of pants and belt falling to the ground. The feel of a man behind him.......
Gibbs checked his watch again knowing that Tim's meeting with the councillor should be finished soon. When he looked up he saw Tim, eyes unseeing, his face distressed, moving quickly towards the elevators, his hands clawing ineffectually at his collar.
Oh fuck.
Gibbs stood instantly, all other cares forgotten and started to head towards his youngest, his fingers already itching to soothe him. Tim had already suffered so much, all he wanted to do was to make him feel safe and happy again.
And that was it. Right there.
Something in his chest moved slightly and clicked back into place. A calm authority settled over Gibbs and after months of uncertainty he embraced it. It felt good. It felt right.
This was his place. This was what he had to do. To be with Tony and Tim. To be their Master and give them what they needed. To make sure they were happy and felt safe. That was his only purpose and if someone else needed to spend months away from home to bring down those bastards then so be it. He was more than just a cold tool for revenge. He was a Master and a Lover and a Friend. And right now he needed to find out what had Tim so distressed he looked like he was trying to make a break for it.
"Tony"
Tony caught the soft order and the slight smile he had been wearing on his lips died as he saw the state Tim was in. He bolted around his desk and joined Gibbs as they slipped in behind Tim as the elevator doors closed.
"Tim?" Gibbs enquired softly and Tim whirled around, startled to find them there. His nostrils flared like a jumpy thoroughbred, while his eyes were wide and his breathing was noisy with distress. Tony held up his hands in almost a mockery of showing he was unarmed but Tim seemed to calm slightly, blinking as he oriented himself to his surroundings.
"Gibbs. Tony" Tim managed the acknowledgement, nodding and Gibbs made his eyes soft, wanting nothing more to pull Tim into his arms and soothe his fears. He didn't reach out and touch though and instead poured all of his concern into the tone of his voice, making it rich and warm.
"I think the time has come to talk. In private"
Gibbs flicked the emergency switch and stopped the elevator just as Tony turned to stare at Gibbs. Tony grinned as he heard the confident authority back in Gibbs's voice. It was magnificent and Tony didn't realise how much he had missed it lately. The pursuit of Tim's case had kept them all too busy to spend any time together. Tension and sleepless nights had been all they had shared for weeks. Gibbs had been growing more distant, Tim had made little progress and Tony's fears had kept escalating. But that would all change now. Gibbs was back with them. The burden on Tony's own shoulders lightened slightly but it was enough for him to turn to Tim with a broad smile.
To discover Gibbs had miscalculated horrifically.
Tim found himself plunged into darkness before the soft emergency lighting came up and the anxiety that he had barely kept control over surged up again, clawing at his throat and hammering at his heart.
Trapped.
He needed to get OUT!
"No!" Tim shouted and flattered himself against the wall in fear as his eyes darted backward and forwards and fear sweat seemed to drench him. Men were reaching for him. People would find out, they would know what he was hiding, he would lose everything....
Gibbs swore at himself and flicked the emergency switch again. What had he been thinking enclosing a man struggling from the aftermath of torture and captivity inside what was essentially a small enclosed box?
"We need to get him outside Tony, away from people, into the fresh air and sunlight"
Tony nodded even as he backed up to give Tim more space. The normal lights came back on and suddenly the elevator was moving again. Tim blinked as the doors quickly opened and Gibbs and Tony stepped through ushering him out with subtle gestures.
Gibbs smoothly led their way through the foyer, nodding to security and leading his boys through the glass doors out in the open air. He kept walking until he was past the lunchtime clusters of co-workers and headed instead for the distant park bench which had been dedicated by the family members of a fallen agent. It was a beautiful spot, shaded by a large tree and surrounded by lots of green, well -manicured lawn. But something about it was always somber and people rarely frequented it.
Tony followed Gibbs and kept an eye on Tim who seemed dazed but content to follow simple instructions. When they reached the park bench Gibbs turned and instructed Tim to sit.
Tim sat, sagging down onto the bench like rumpled laundry.
Tony nonchalantly leaned up against the nearby tree and watched with eager eyes to see what would unfold. He felt a stirring of desire deep in his belly at watching Gibbs back in control and he celebrated. He had begun to think he was turning frigid as it had been weeks since lust in any form had even entered his mind. Too long it had been prickles of fear he had felt rather than desire for his two partners.
Gibbs watched as Tim's breathing slowly came back under control and he could see when he forced his muscles to relax, his shoulders slumping forward slightly.
"You ok Tim?" Gibbs's voice was gentle and Tim nodded but he kept his head down and didn't meet his eyes. Gibbs crouched down so he was level with Tim's face but having learned his lesson he made sure it was to the side of him so he wouldn't feel crowded. If he felt the need to escape it was right in front of him.
"You want to tell us what's going on in those sessions of yours? They are meant to be helping you, not sending you into a panic attack"
Tim slowly raised his expressive soft eyes to meet Gibbs's piercing blue ones and starting talking, his voice growing louder as he tried to make Gibbs understand.
"It's what's NOT happening. I can't talk to him freely. He keeps pushing, pushing for answers and I'm getting tired of having my guard up all the time. I know I'm giving away physical clues, tensing up, looking away but I can't help it! He is always watching me, all the time and keeps making these notes. And he's not just asking about when I was.... "
Tim suddenly swallowed, still not allowing himself to think about that time in the darkness.
".....gone. He's asking about how I feel about you. He's asking about whether I trust you"
Tim suddenly stood up and started pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair in anxiety. He was still too skinny, somehow not the slightly soft and sweet Timmy he had been. Gibbs could still see the faint scar lines around his wrists from the damage the manacles had wrought on his delicate skin and it made his gut churn in remembrance.
Tim glanced at Tony, asking him the question.
"How do I answer that honestly? I say no and he knows it's a lie. I say yes and he presses further, wanting me to explain where that trust comes from. Why do I feel so strongly about it? Questions, questions, questions. So I say nothing and he just writes it all fucking down!"
Tim was nearly shouting his frustration and Gibbs stood and automatically reached out a hand to touch him, to comfort him but Tim instinctively flinched away from the touch before he forced himself to stand completely still, his eyes closed.
Three heart beats passed as they stood in a silent tableau before Tim opened his eyes once again, looked at Gibbs and then behind his shoulder to where Tony stood.
His voice was quiet and there was such aching longing there that Tony felt his eyes well with unshed tears at the vulnerability.
"Please Gibbs, Tony. Please help me. I want things to be the way they were before. I don't know how to get back there. You're the only ones I really trust. I'm afraid of everything, I can't sleep, I'm frightened of my own shadow, I can't write, I can't work. I want to laugh and .."
Tim's voice dropped to a whisper
"I want to be loved. I want to be held again. I don't want to be afraid anymore"
Gibbs' eyes sparked and he went and stood next to Tim and put a firm hand on his shoulder. Tony solemnly walked over and repeated the gesture, placing his hand on Tim's other shoulder.
"Tonight. Just the three of us. We will work through this together"
Tim nodded tremulously and wiped at his eyes surreptitiously with the heel of his hand. Gibbs could feel the fine tremble running through Tim and he swore he would make Tim pleased that he had such faith in him.
Gibbs flicked his eyes across and saw Tony grinning wickedly at the idea of private naked time with his Co-Sub and Master. Gibbs would have given him a head slap if he hadn't been wearing a grin of his own. He was their Master and now he needed to prove it again to his boys.
