The Super-Ultra-Mega Ranma 1/2 Crossover
Director's Cut

By: Jay Howington, Michael Brew, and Houston Fryer

Disclaimer: The characters of Ranma 1/2, Tenchi Muyo, Fushigi Yûgi, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Dragonball, Trigun, Urusei Yatsura, Aa! Megami Sama, Hamutarou, Gon, Maison Ikkoku, Outlaw Star, and Sailor Moon are not ours. Neither are any of those that I might o' missed (would you really be able to tell?).

Chapter 7:

Cheers erupted from the four sides of the gigantic stadium as a tiny martial artist triumphed over another. High in the stands, three men sat together, conversing with his friends. Suddenly, a certain pigtailed martial-artist, looking over the results of the first match, spoke up.

"Wow! So this is the Tenkaichi Budoukai, huh?" Ranma asked excitedly. His face then became somewhat glum. "But... all these kids really suck."

Goku laughed at that. "Well, I doubt any of 'em will be joining OUR group. It's too bad. I was hoping this would get Gohan psyched about training again."

Yusuke nodded. "I'm the one who's psyched here. I'm finally gonna get to beat up on my second favorite punching bag!" He elbowed Ranma in the gut, who just sighed.

"We'll see who gets beat up on in... there... yeah..."

Down on the stage, Gohan had ascended the steps for his next match. I still don't know why Otousan had to sign me up for this thing. I mean, it's his one day back from the dead, and I have to waste my time fighting. Oh, well, it's best to keep your dead ancestors happy. He turned to watch his opponent stride toward the arena. I just wish I didn't have to fight a girl in the semifinals.

The aforementioned girl took a straightforwardly offensive fighting stance. "Alright, Son kun, don't think that, just because I'm a girl, I'll let you go easy on me."

Gohan gulped. "Okay, Satan kun. If that's what you really want." He began to power up slowly to a level that, despite his words, would only be enough to knock her out with the flick of a finger. That should be enough to convince her that I'm not holding back on her.

"Fight!" The Budoukai announcer shouted as he hopped out of the ring quickly. He knew just whose son was fighting this round, and didn't want to be anywhere near the ring should it decide to get blown up again.

Videl rushed at Gohan faster than many adult black belts would be able to comprehend, but her forward momentum was abruptly cancelled as her opponent's finger found itself in the path of her forehead.

Gohan shook his head at the figure crumpled on the ground. "It's too bad. Against a normal human kid, she'd have done great." He then looked down at his chest, which was now bare. "Amazing, she even managed to rip off my shirt before I tagged her... it usually takes an average of twenty seven and forty three hundredths girls to do that."

With that, the final match of the semifinals was over. Gohan's next opponent, a kid with a green gi and a ridiculous, cone-shaped, blue mask on, strolled casually up to the arena. "Okay," he said in an obviously artificially deep voice. "Let's get this show on the road."

"Huh?" The announcer interjected. "But... Son kun, here, should have a break before fighting his next--"

"Screw that!" The fighter shouted, his voice slipping into a more natural range. "He didn't use any power at all! He's perfectly fine to fight me! Besides, I'm sure the folks up there are tired of waiting."

"True." The announcer conceded. "And we can't just go to a commercial break now... we just came back from one. Alright, if it's okay with Son kun."

"Hai." Gohan agreed, and dropped into a fighting stance. "I'm ready."

The masked fighter took a confident stance opposite him, but faltered when he eyed his foe's naked torso. "Oh... you already got it taken off... um," he glanced nervously around for a moment. "You know, on second thought, maybe we should take a break; you know, get this guy a new shirt, or somethin'..."

"No way!" Gohan responded. "You pressed this fight, now you're gonna take your medicine."

"'Take your...?' Are you sure you're Son Gohan?" The masked fighter asked.

"Fight!" The announcer shouted again, only to be trampled by an old, blue-clad ninja fighting what looked like a giant ogre with a boulder chained to its wrist. "Sub-Zero... Molock... I didn't mean... you..." he said weakly from the crater he now occupied.

Both Gohan and the masked boy stood completely still, as though they were just going to let eternity pass by. Each boy tried to sense the other's abilities, but Gohan was mystified at his opponent's complete lack of fighting power. What the heck? Even those normal boys were stronger than this. He thought.

Finally the masked boy leapt from his standpoint, and, in one swift motion, thrust his fist at Gohan's sternum. Startled at the boy's speed, but still keeping his guard, jumped back and flipped over the shorter boy. He then twisted his lower body to throw his foot in a horizontal crescent motion. To his surprise, the boy ducked under the kick and, in an unorthodox move, rolled under the young man's waist to propel his foot into Gohan's lower... erm... region. The powerful calcitration sent Gohan flying into the air. He quickly curled forward and held his... uh... groin while trying to keep his balance. Landing about twenty feet away from his opponent, who was making obscene references, he wobbled around.

"That's what these dumb things are for! I wish Otousan had told me this. Some training he gave me..." He recovered finally, "I guess later on I'll just have to cut it off."

"What?" The other boy was mystified. "I didn't hit you... there!"

"What are you talking about? It's my tail you hit! And it hurts like nothing else! Dumb thing grew back again..."

The young masked boy stared in disbelief. Finally shaking his confusion, he rushed at Gohan once more. This time, however, he immediately jumped in mid-run to launch a flying kick at the Saiyajin. Gohan just put his hand up and released a small ki blast into his opponent's torso. Said opponent did not anticipate the attack, and, with a small explosion, akin to a single stick of dynamite, he regretted it. The shock sent him reeling towards the edge of the ring. However, he flipped in mid-air and levitated above the ground. Gohan gazed with amazement at his airborne opponent.

"You can fly?" He sputtered.

"Not only fly, I can do this too!" The floating boy put his hands together and released a large ki ball towards the center of the ring. Gohan deftly dodged, however, and, in a flash of golden light, reappeared next to his opponent. Before he could react, Gohan kicked him into his own attack. With a huge resounding crack, the ball burst and released all of its energy on its owner. The crowd gasped and shrieked at the giant explosion that nearly engulfed the ring.

Slowly, the smoke subsided to reveal the boy standing, albeit without his mask or shirt. Gohan, back in his normal form, darted forward to meet his rival. But, he was aghast to find a little purple-haired boy coughing in the haze.

"T-Trunks? Is that you?" He asked of the boy, who, hearing his name, looked up with a startled expression of his own. His eyes drifted from the young man to his own mangled gi. The mask, it appeared, had been completely vaporized in the blast.

"Y-y-yeah, it's me." He finally stammered. "I came here from the future to compete in the Tenkaichi Budoukai."

"You're from the future? But, you're supposed to be older! Like, eighteen or something."

"What are you talking about? I'm just eight-year-old Chibi Trunks. I dunno where the nickname came from, but everyone calls me by it, so it just stuck. I'm not really that little."

"Oh, is that so? Well, we can talk about it some other time. Now that I've got a worthy opponent, I think I'm beginning to enjoy this little altercation!" Gohan sank into a familiar stance. The crowd went wild as they looked upon the same foot and hand position they had come to know from previous tournaments. Chibi Trunks, too, noticed the stance. His eyes widened as Gohan uttered the first syllable and his ki began to rise exponentially. His mouth fell slightly open as Gohan's hair changed from its jet black color to a bright gold. Each strand shot up as though being pushed by a strong updraft, then, accompanied by tiny arcs of lightning criss-crossing across his body, they became rigid.

"Ka...Me...Ha...Me..." Far up in the stands, Ranma leaned forward as he sensed the great boost in Gohan's ki. He recognized this attack from a couple of sparring matches he had had with Son Goku, as bored martial artists tend to do, but he hadn't seen it elevated to this level of power. He watched in amazement as his ki shot skyward, far surpassing his power several hundred times over. He looked at his friend and teacher, but they weren't near as amazed as he was. Yusuke just kept his smirk, and Son Goku looked on with his dopey smile.

"Not bad," Goku began, "but he's still not much stronger than when he fought Cell."

Not... bad? Who are these people? He thought in utter shock. Clearly, these people were in a league of their own.

"Haaaaaa!" The thundering war-cry of the young Saiyajin drew Ranma's eyes back to the ring. He beheld a massive horizontal pillar of blue light rocketing towards the younger Saiyajin. Trunks assumed the state of Super Saiyajin and darted out of the way. In shock at both the direction of his attack and his own lack of anticipating this situation. Pulling his hands up, he redirected the huge blast into space.

Everyone in the stadium was speechless, especially the section of the crowd that the attack was heading for. The announcer, finally looking up from behind the edge of the ring, he gawked at the two fighters. Looking closer, his eyes widened. Then, grabbing his microphone off the ground he shouted into it with all his might: "Out of the ring! The winner is Mighty Mask!"

"What?!?" Gohan looked around himself to see that his ki had obliterated the part of the ring on which he was standing. His mouth dropped as he realized he was indeed on the ground. Dropping his ki, and with it, his Super Saiyajin state, he jumped back into the ring to await the descending Trunks.

Ranma gawked dumbfoundedly. "Wh... gh... ugh?"

"Yeah, you got that right," Yusuke agreed, a smirk spreading across his face. "That's some awesome power right there. Maybe even more than when I'm in my transformed state."

Ranma turned an incredulous gaze upon the shopkeeper and opened his mouth to speak.

"That's absolutely right!"

The three men looked to their left. A tall man with brown hair and a pacifier in his mouth stood with his hands in his pockets. "Hello, there," he said. "I'm Koenma. I'm very cool..."

Ranma frowned. "You already said that the last time we met."

"Yeah," Yusuke confirmed. "And you said that to Keiko and the other girls at the Ankoku Bukujutsukai, too."

"Funny you should mention that..." Koenma began.

"Hey," Goku commented. "Umm, why are there a bunch of... multicolored... things... in the stands now? They... they look like they're arguing with the humans. Someone might get hurt..."

Koenma sighed. "Well, that's what I came here to explain. You see--"

In the ring, the announcer of the Tenkaichi Budoukai was shouting at a girl with what looked like fins for ears and a lizard tail. "Listen, this is MY tournament! It's held here every three years! Same time; same place!"

"Well," the lizard-lady retorted, "the Ankoku Bukujutsukai committee booked this place for a year after your stupid tournament! That should have been last year!"

The T.B. announcer wiped some sweat off of his forehead. "Oh... yeah. I guess that whole Piccolo incident moved our schedule up a year some time ago." He frowned. "Doesn't your committee read the newspaper?!"

"They're a bunch of filthy-rich demons!" The A.B. announcer protested. "They only read the stock reports and the comics section!"

"Wait!" Trunks interjected as he and Gohan strode up to the two arguing announcers. "I think I may have a solution. You're both wanting a tournament, right? Well, the bigger, the better, so why don't you jointly hold your tournaments?"

The two announcers stared at the boy for a few minutes before finally responding in unison, "Wow, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of it myself?!"

- - -

"Okay, here's the rules!" T.B. Announcer began. "The matches will be fought by teams of five, who may fight one-by-one or mêlée-style, with the last team with battle-ready members the victor. Anyone who is knocked out of the ring, or K., for over ten counts is disqualified. Killing is legal, but only if the contestant is actively fighting."

A.B. Announcer chimed in, "Outside weapons are also allowed. The Tenkaichi Budoukai team will consist of five finalists from the human tournament, with the other three members acting as backups in case some of the team members are killed or otherwise infirmed."

"So, let's get this party started! First up, Team... um... Mario Party?... vs. Team Budoukai." T.B. announced. "Err... it seems that both teams have agreed to a mêlée."

- - -

Team Budoukai: Ranma, Goku, Yusuke, Ryouko, and Twilight Suzuka, with Akane, Gene Starwind, and Mr. Satan held in reserve. The active team members strode onto the arena, meeting the opposing team for the first time... and nearly cracking up laughing.

The leader of the group was a stout plumber wearing a shirt with blue suspenders, while his second was a taller, slimmer plumber wearing the same motif, but in green and blue. The other three members were a giant monkey wearing a red tie, monogrammed with the initials "D.K.", a small, green dinosaur, and a woman wearing an old fashioned and very pink dress. The leader stepped forward, a menacing glare on his face--it disappeared once some clouds moved in front of the sun, though--and he said, "Let's-a go!"

The five members of each team climbed into the ring and faced off against a corresponding member of the opposite team. Goku and Mario stared each other down with cunning grins, as Yusuke scratched his head, contemplating what his saurian opponent could come up with. Ryouko traded threatening grunts with the opposing necktied simian, and Ranma refused to even regard his nervous green-clad adversary, while Suzuka sized up her royal pain of a rival. Finally, the two announcers, standing next to each other at one side of the ring, cleared their throats.

The Budoukai announcer began, "Let's get this match underway!" producing cheers from the human half of the overcrowded stadium. The Ankoku announcer concurred, "We wanna see plenty of blood and guts, alright!" and the demons roared in agreement. A gong sounded with its resounding tone, and the fighters assumed their stances. The audience screamed for a great fight.

Mario ran forth at his Saiyajin opponent and, jumping in mid-stride, performed a slide kick at Goku's feet. However, Goku jumped straight up and dodged the attack, then proceeded to dive down with a kick of his own. He was intercepted by a jumping head butt from his pipe-traveling friend, knocking some coins from his pocket. Wha? I didn't know I had any money with me! Goku thought.

Upon landing, Mario quickly went to collecting the coins, then, bearing an embarrassed grin, said, "The life of a plumber, it's a-not very rewarding in the financial department!"

Yusuke charged his dinosaur of a match, and punched it right in the snout, sending it flying into the far edge of the ring. Yoshi expeditiously recovered, however, using its tongue as a grappling hook to pull itself back in. Yusuke wasted no time in producing a ki blast from his outstretched finger and sending towards the floundering dinosaur. In response, it extended its elastic tongue to catch the blast and swallow it. After much effort, it produced an egg from its backside. Yusuke observed in confusion as it hefted the newly-laid shell and launched it at the ramen-shop owner. Not realizing the attack, Yusuke was hit by an explosion of a force equal to that of his initial attack. Yoshi cheered with indistinct squeals as its opponent was sent to the ground.

Ranma just slowly walked towards his cowering green-clad opponent, who just gave squeaky excuses. "I-I-I didn't wanta fight! It was my brother! Yeah, that was it! Mario! He made me do it! Oooohhh!" Luigi finally rushed forward in a sloppy advance at Ranma. Not expecting a fierce offensive, Ranma just smiled and put up his hands, but when Luigi reached him, the plumber began to flail his hands at the pigtailed martial-artist with amazing speed and power. Unable to guard against the rain of blows, Ranma jumped back and lunged back forth with a kick. Luigi tripped, however, and, falling flat on his face, missed the kick.

Wha? What kinda fighter is this?!? Ranma thought as he tried to stomp and punch his grounded adversary, but said adversary, cupping his nose in his hands, rolled back and forth on the ground in pain and managed to dodge each and every strike.

Ryouko, now airborne, tossed energy blasts at Donkey Kong. The necktied ape rolled and jumped back and forth without much grace to dodge each attack. Donkey finally came across a barrel of unknown origin and lobbed it at Ryouko. The wooden container struck her squarely in the face and caused her to lose her flight, as D. K. ran toward her landing point to follow up on his counterattack. Grabbing her in mid-fall, he slammed her into the ground with gargantuan strength and proceeded to slap her prone form with his massive palms.

Suzuka and Peach remained across from each other. Finally, the twilight assassin lifted her bokken in the air and, slashing downward with unseeable speed, created a shockwave that rocketed toward Peach, carving a line in the arena floor. Peach simply side-stepped the attack and reached toward the ground. Heaving with great, but still ladylike effort, she pulled a large white vegetable out of the ground and tossed it at Suzuka. However, the veggie was sliced in half by the advancing Suzuka. Peach then gathered an armful of veggies and threw each of them at the assassin, only to watch as she cut each one in half and continued her charge. Finally reaching her, Suzuka jumped high into the air and brought down her blade on Peach. However, the Toadstool Princess managed a block with a golf club and, using the head, wrenched Suzuka's sword away from her. She then swung at the assassin, who, thought unarmed, dodged each swing with minimal effort.

As Ranma tried to hit the struggling Luigi, their fight moved close to that of Goku and Mario's. Goku had Mario on the proverbial ropes, keeping him on the defensive with an assault of kicks and punches. Though Mario was capable of dodging each attack, he couldn't muster a counterattack to fend off the Saiyajin. Finally, as Luigi knocked away the pigtailed martial-artist, he ran to aid of his brother. Sending green gravity-defying fireballs at Goku, he was able to free Mario from the Saiyajin's onslaught.

"M-M-Mario! Are you all right?" Luigi asked of his recovering brother.

"Yes, yes, I'm-a O.K. Now, let's-a show these guys what the Mario Brothers™ are really capable of!"

"Alrighty!" The two plumbers ran at Ranma. He prepared himself, but the two just split and ran to both sides, flanking the pigtailed-martial artist. Luigi crouched down low to the ground and shook as he mustered his strength. Finally releasing it, he rocketed out of a fiery explosion and toward Ranma. Ranma put up his hands to block the head butt, but was still knocked into the air toward the shorter plumber. Mario twisted his body, and then launched himself into a spin. Ranma's body was sent into this spiral, and, with uncountable blows inflicted upon his frame, was sent straight up into the air. Luigi had already jumped up and was below the now-descending Ranma. When the two forms met, Luigi shot up into an uppercut, sending Ranma even higher into the air. However, he was caught high above the stadium by Goku.

"You okay there, Ranma?" He inquired as to the young man's health.

"Yeah, yeah, lemme down already. It'll take more than a little double-teaming to take me out!" Goku did as was asked of him and released the pigtailed martial-artist, who, to his surprise, just plummeted down to the stadium.

"Hey! Don't let go just yet!!!" He screamed. "I can't fly!"

"Oh, well, you should have said something." said the Saiyajin nonchalantly as he dropped down below him and caught him once more. He then carried Ranma down to the ground, where he jumped from his arms and reassumed a fighting stance.

"Alright you two, let's try that again!" Ranma charged at the swaggering Mario brothers.

"Oh, I think he wants another taste. Shall-a we give it to him?" Mario asked rhetorically of his brother.

"Yes, I agree. He does look like he wants another serving!" Luigi retorted as the two separated and assumed the same formation as the first time.

Yeah, yeah, bring it on! Ranma thought. Luigi crouched down once more, and Mario twisted his body to prepare for the spin attack, as Son Goku just looked on, not worried at all over his disciple's taking on the both of them.

Meanwhile, Yusuke and Yoshi continued to battle. Yusuke dodged another tongue attack with considerable effort. Man, don't wanna get stuck in another eggshell! thought Yusuke as he ducked beneath Yoshi's tempered tongue. He'll just eat anything I throw at him, and if I try and grab that tongue again, he'll eat me just like last time! How can do this? He thought. Finally, realization hit him, and he stopped fleeing from the stretchy organ assault. Yusuke just let the tongue wrap around him and pull him into the saliva-filled orifice of the beast. However, once inside, he jabbed his fist into what seemed like, to him, Yoshi's head.

"Rei-Kou-Dan!" To the crowd, it looked as though the already-inflated Yoshi began to increase in size exponentially, and its expression changed from secure glee to pain and terror. A blue glow encompassed the dinosaur's body, and, finally, it opened its mouth wide to release all the energy that had been building up inside of it. This sent Yusuke speeding toward the trio of the already airborne Luigi, Ranma, and Mario. Exhausted, the dinosaur fell into unconsciousness as the Budoukai announcer began the count on its prone form.

Just as before, Luigi's flaming head butt struck Ranma's block. This time, however, Ranma smiled as he was sent toward the spinning Mario. Seeing the flying Yusuke, Ranma's smirk grew even wider as he grasped the ramen shop-owner's head and, slamming it into the ground, used it as a springboard to send him above Mario. He then dove into the tornado and, with a single corkscrew punch in the opposite direction of Mario's spinning, shouted, "Hiryu-Gyoten-Ha!"

The resulting downward tornado blast smashed Mario into the floor, causing cracks to spread across the entire arena. All the other fighters stopped temporarily to see the source of the loud crash. Even the audience grew quiet as everyone was on the edge of their seats, trying to see over the person in front of them to view the plumber's fate.

Ranma looked down at his unmoving opponent, and then widely grinned. "I guess that takes care of him!"

Pulling his head up from the ground, Yusuke shoved Ranma playfully. "Well, little man, I don't think I've seen anybody use air like since Jin! Maybe you have gotten a little better after all!"

"Excuse me? How could you 'have seen' anything with your face in the ground like that?" Ranma jibed right back.

"You did well. I didn't know how you planned to counter them. But, it's really only their fault for using the same technique." Goku regaled Ranma as he walked to his side. "Now, let's see how the others are doing."

"Hey hey hey! You think I'm-a finished already? You've-a gotta be kidding!" Ranma, Yusuke, and Goku all turned to see Mario had risen from the ground, and was completely unscathed to boot. His clothes didn't even show signs of the attack he had just been victim to.

"But how? And your clothes! They're not even torn at all!" Ranma shouted. Yes, Ranma, that's what I just said. Ignoring my outburst, Ranma just gawked at the apparently reborn Mario.

"As it turns out, I got just enough coins-a from that other guy; enough-a to give me another life!"

Ranma clenched his teeth. "Fine then, I can take you out as many times as it takes." However, Goku put his hand in front of Ranma.

"You let me take care of him. You've still got your opponent to fight, after all." Son Goku said, motioning to the recovering Luigi.

Suddenly, Goku was knocked away by a kick from the short plumber. Before he could get up, he was hit by a series of fireballs.

"So-a, you're-a gonna take-a care-a of-a me-a?" Mario laughed. "Bring it on-a!"

Meanwhile, Peach was hammering away at Suzuka with various hammering utensils, including a tennis racket and a golf club. However, she just dodged each attack with ease. Finally, she kicked the Toadstool Princess away, and, picking her bokken up from the ground, she dashed at Peach, holding her sword out in front of her. Seeing the attack heading for her, Peach rummaged through her belongings and pulled out... Toad! However, Toad was instantly cut in half by the slash. Horrified, Peach let down her guard, allowing Suzuka to kick her into the air, and, jumping above her, produced a downward slash. Peach, however, produced an umbrella. She opened it, and a sudden catch of air caused her descent to slow by a great deal, allowing her enough control to land squarely on Suzuka's face. The powerful blow left the former assassin unconscious in the center of the ring as Peach slowly and gracefully floated to the floor.

"Ka—me—ha—me—" Goku chanted as a powerful sphere of energy formed between his palms. Thrusting his hands toward Mario, he released his ki with a shout of, "HA—!"

Mario grinned as he materialized a cape—from where, no one will ever know—and used it to slap the blast away from him... and toward Princess Peach.

Peach, fortunately, was not hit by the incredible beam--though the west portion of the audience was--but her blouse, also fortunately, was ripped off by the incredible vacuum created by the attack. She glared indignantly at her boyfriend. "Mario!"

"What? It-a was a accident!" His sly smirk told otherwise, however.

Tears formed in Peach's eyes. "You... you just saved me from all those giant lizards for my body, didn't you?"

Mario became somewhat panicked at this point. "No! That's-a not it at all!"

Donkey Kong suddenly landed beside Peach, Ryouko struggling under his immense weight. "Don't worry, Peachy! I've always been there for ya!"

"Oh, D.K.!" Peach cried. "The time we shared when you kidnapped me from my castle was so special! Maybe I should just--"

Suddenly, Ryouko disappeared into the arena floor, and a giant stone hand appeared in her place, grabbing Donkey Kong roughly. The entire ring quickly shaped itself into a living statue of Ryouko. Ranma, to the dismay of Akane, who had been standing on the sidelines, wound up on one of the giantess' great breasts.

"Ranma no baka!" She screamed, allowing everyone to breathe a sigh of relief now that she had finally uttered her favorite catch-phrase.

"Ummm..." the Bukujutsukai announcer stammered as she stared up at Ryouko's new form. "What do the rules say about being outside of the ring if the fighter IS the ring?"

"Hahahahaha!" Ryouko... laughed. "Who's 'bigger, faster, and stronger too,' now?" She gave D.K. a hard squeeze and hurled him to the ground. There he stayed, a prone form for ten counts. Then he got up and looked for some bananas.

"If you wouldn't mind," Ranma shouted as he dodged under Ryouko's right breast to avoid a Luigi head-butt, "Could ya turn the ring back to normal? This's kinda embarrassin'!"

"Oh, all right." Ryouko conceded, rapidly changing back into a square arena. Her true form phased back onto her former body. "Well, princess? What were you gonna do?" She said, directing her catty gaze toward Peach.

"Oh." The princess replied. "Never mind. Now, I'm just going to beat you up." She brandished her tennis racket menacingly.

Goku, meanwhile, powered up to his Super Saiyajin form. "Now to take it a little higher," he stated. His muscles bulged slightly, and his hair became a bit more vertically inclined. Electricity arched around him as well. "With this, the Chou Super Saiyajin form, there's no way you can block. Ka—me—ha—me—"

Mario laughed and rushed at Goku, shouting. "You fool! There's-a nothing my cape can't-a deflect!"

"HA—!"

True to Mario's word, the attack bounced off of the plumber's cape and rocketed toward Yusuke, who, since he had been about to jump into the fray with Ryouko and Peach, had little time to block. "Oh, Kuso—" he screamed as he found himself hurled out of the ring. The resulting explosion rendered him unconscious.

"Whoops." Goku muttered. "Oh, well. If that cape deflects all ki attacks no matter their strength, I'll just have to think of a way to go around it!"

Ranma rolled his eyes as he dodged a Luigi flail-attack. Or you could just punch him a few times, but, no, that would be too simple...

Ryouko sliced her princess opponent's latest weapon in half with her energy sword. Lurching forward, she phased through Peach's body, spun around, and cuffed her hard on the base of her skull. "Oyasumi nasai, Oujosama." She turned to where Ranma and Luigi were fighting and made to help, but then thought better of it. "Ah, I doubt the kid would want me interfering anyway. All the more fun for me..."

"Kamehameha!" Goku released a powerful burst at his sewer-working foe.

"You-a fool!" The Italian pasta-lover shouted as he readied his cape. "You've-a learned-a nothing!"

"Haven't I?" Goku quipped, putting his index and middle fingers to his forehead. "Shunkan Idou!" With that, he disappeared from sight, only to rematerialize behind Mario.

The plumber, having been distracted with the task of batting Goku's ki attack away, was taken by surprise when a hand grasped his cape and tore it away from him. "What-a the Hell-a?!" He exclaimed directly before getting a ball of sheer power shoved down his throat. Upon landing, he coughed and sputtered, trying desperately to retrieve his footing. Finally, with a groan of, "That's-a one spicy meat-a-ball," he gorked onto the ground.

Goku blinked. "Is 'gorked' actually a real word?"

...Yes, of course it is! Damn, try to include a little vocabularic variety in a fanfic, and this is what we get? You don't see other authors' borrowed characters back talking them, either, but us? Oh, no! Gotta get the smart mouthed ones.

"Geez, sorry... and whatever happened to the 'fourth wall' thing anyway?" Goku asked, though he should have realized long ago that Akane had long since smashed Ranma through it. "Oh."

Meanwhile, Luigi had seen what had happened to his brother, and began to scream, "Mario? Mario! Ma------rio!" Being thus distracted, the less vertically challenged plumber was unaware of Ranma striding casually up to him.

"Ahem." Ranma coughed, putting an arm around his opponent's shoulder.

Luigi turned his head, and, seeing the pigtailed martial artist there, dropped heap-big sweat. "Oh... I'm-a in trouble, aren't I?"

Ranma smirked as he clenched his free hand. "You got that right." And with a single punch--the first punch to actually land on Luigi--the plumber was sent on a one-way trip back to Dream Land.

T.B. Announcer whooped with this final blow. "Team Budoukai wins! Team Budoukai wins!"

"Geez, you don't have to start celebrating yet," A.B. Announcer fumed. "We haven't even gotten to the ten count yet..."

"Who cares? Any fight with Son Goku in it is pretty much in the bag, regardless of how many counts they get," T.B. Announcer quipped, and, indeed, after the tenth count had been reached, the Budoukai team was officially declared the winner.

to be continued...

_______________________________________________________________________

Yow! Well, that's it for this chapter. Y'know, I never did like that stupid fourth wall. I'm glad we got rid of it... except, you know, you get hit by a bunch of stray ki blasts and magical spells without it. Yeah, that last Kamehameha of Goku's... had me laid up for, like, a whole minute. Hey, that's a pretty long time considering these guys are figments of our collective imagination.