My Little Warhammer 40,000: Penitence
Chapter 7
"The symbol of the Emperor."
After the shock in the Chamber of Elements, the duo had retreated to the sanctity of a hidden room. Tipping back one of the chairs that Mykel had avoided in the library, Luna had revealed a secret passageway into a turreted room in the castle. She had revealed that this was a special place to her and her sister, a peaceful hideaway to compose their thoughts and discuss matters too sensitive for prying eyes and ears. The two stained glass windows, with one a yellow and orange sun and the other a white moon on a blue backdrop, made it clear that the room had specifically designed for their use.
After sternly warning Mykel not to touch anything, Luna had flown off for a brief while. She returned with a decanter and two glass goblets. The decanter contained a liquid so purple as to almost be black. Luna informed him that, somehow, their servants had forgotten some of the wine in the royal cellar and poured him a glass. Holding the cup up to his helmet's grille and letting the vapors waft past his olfactory sensors had revealed no trace of poison, but Mykel regarded her steadily from beneath his helm. Eventually realizing what his inaction was insinuating, Luna rolled her eyes and gave an exasperated groan before pouring her own glass and taking a healthy sip. She looked at him pointedly. There, see? No poison.
Counting on his digestive system to break down anything that a normal human couldn't handle, Mykel finally removed his helmet and deposited it on the table between the two of them. Taking a sip, Mykel was very surprised to note that the wine had not only avoided degrading into vinegar, but actually benefited from its centuries-long exile in the castle. The grapes that had gone into making it were clearly of higher quality than anything he had tasted back on Caliban, even before the deforestation had begun. They offered such a sweeter flavor than any wine he had ever tasted. Master artisanry of both farmers and vintners, or just more sorcery?
Holding the cup between his gauntleted fingers, Mykel looked into the liquid's depths and finally gave voice as to what had shocked him so badly in the Chamber of Elements. For her part, Luna had been so fascinated by the appearance of this new creature that his statement knocked her out of her own contemplation.
"Emperor? Surely, thou referst to that braggart upstart, Sombra? But his heraldry was nothing like the icon on the back of that throne."
Raising his eyes up to her, Mykel scowled. "I am not referring to that sorcerer. No, the man that I refer to is… actually more than a man. He is the single most powerful human in the galaxy, and anyone that tells you otherwise is either delusional or lying to you. He commands untold billions that march across the stars in his name. He made the Primarchs, who in turn served as the genetic base for us." Mykel tapped his chestplate with one hand. "The Adeptus Astartes. The Twenty Legions. I am a member of the First Legion, the Dark Angels."
"And who is this member of a Legion unknown to Us that sits within Our sanctum? Thou doth know of Us; We are left at a disadvantage."
Guarded silence met her request. Luna huffed in indignation. "Doth thou have no manners at all? We simply ask for thy name! Is it truly so costly that not even royal ears may be able to learn it?"
Mykel's gaze was hard as he stared at her. "Names have a power, Princess. I might trust… others," he very nearly slipped Zecora's name, "but you are a psyker and a known consort of dark powers. Do not think me so clueless."
Luna looked legitimately baffled. "What can We do with thy name but greet and recognize thee, legionnaire? Shall We instead merely call thee 'Brute', or perhaps 'Slayer'?"
The Astartes took another long sip before replying. "Do you know what we did with witches back on my homeworld? We burned them." Her look of shock did not dissuade him as he continued, "When you draw upon the powers of the Warp, and expect not to pay the price, you endanger those around you as well as yourself. The Emperor saw that, too. That is why the Council of Nikaea was called to ban all forms of sorcery. It would have made the galaxy a much safer place." Mykel sighed.
"Of course, there were those who did not listen. Those who tasted such power and grown fond of it… nay, relied on it did not heed the warnings and continued their malpractices. And thus, our galaxy has been enveloped in civil war."
Luna took a sip of her own wine. "Magic without restraint can be dangerous; that much We can attest to, Ourself. But magic is part of this world and to pretend otherwise is to render all of us blind to certain dangers." As she was about to continue, something that Mykel had said stopped Luna for a second. "Thou didst speak earlier of the 'Warp'. What is it? Is it an entity?"
Mykel shifted uncomfortably. "Truth be told, I do not know for sure. The best way that I can explain it is as a… different dimension. We exist here, in our reality." He spread his arms to encompass the castle around them. "But at the same time, another reality exists alongside ours that only those with witch-sight can see into. It is a strange and dangerous place, overflowing with malign denizens that only wish to do us harm. Psychic power is drawn from the place and it attracts the attention of these creatures. With enough careless use or, worse still, deliberate manipulation, monsters may be called forth into our reality."
While she was at first listening quietly out of respect, Luna became a paler shade of blue and deathly silent as his description reminded her of an all-too fateful encounter. This reaction was not lost on Mykel. "You have seen these things, I take it?"
"…Yes, We have. But only within the confines of this 'other place' that you speak of. Such creatures do not walk on the soil of Equestria." At least, as far as I know…
Her guest's hairless brow lowered in puzzlement. "But that doesn't make any sense. If what the histories say here are true, and the Royal Sisters are responsible for manipulating entire celestial bodies here in the solar system… How does such powerful magic not result in the manifestation of such monsters?"
Luna shrugged helplessly. "We cannot answer such a question. While We have known for many years that dark spirits make their home in places beyond the mind, We did not know that they could actually take flesh as thou hath described it." She shuddered at the thought. "A frightful proposition. But still… doth thou and thy brethren truly kill all magic-users? 'Twould seem a bloody harvest."
"Not all," Mykel admitted. Looking down, he realized that his glass was empty and poured more wine for himself. The stout constitution of an Astartes meant that the drinks of men would not even faze him as his body broke down the alcohol in his system. "The Emperor conceded that, under close supervision and a stern hand, Warp powers could be useful. Were it not for the Astropaths and Navigators, the Imperium would be incapable of either faster-than-light travel or communication between worlds."
Luna looked out of the window that had been made for her. "We understand that thou hath communicated this multiple times, but… there are other worlds out there? I… We struggle to grasp such a thing. How many are there?"
"No one knows for sure. Once upon a time, humanity lived on countless worlds across the galaxy. Then, something horrific happened that separated all the worlds from each other. Some worlds held on to their civilizations and traditions, while most backslid into primitive, tribal or feudal societies."
"Like yours?" Luna glanced at him coyly, turning his earlier words back on him. He nodded reluctantly with a scowl.
"Aye, like mine. We kept much of our technology, but the secrets of flight and other advanced sciences were lost to us. One thing that all the worlds had in common, however, was that much of their knowledge of Dark Age technology was lost. In the struggle of survival, many of the great strides that were made in the sciences were scavenged for materials or buried and consigned to the dust.
That is why the Emperor has taken such drastic measures. To raise armies that can crush entire worlds beneath their boots. To deal with any dissenters swiftly and harshly. Only when humanity has been united under one authority can we hope to reclaim our old glory."
Another disturbing question left him silent for a moment. "The Emperor has not expressed a great deal of tolerance for non-humans. Entire species have been driven to extinction by the Imperium's war machine. That being the case… Why did he contact your people, out of all others? What did he see in you?"
Luna paced the room, the question just as perplexing to her. "We did not even know of his existence until thou revealed the hidden throne, even before Our banishment to the moon. Surely, Mother would had to have known, but She is no longer with us. Perhaps Our sister would know? She was the oldest of the three of us. Mother might have entrusted her with such knowledge. But why keep it a secret? Perhaps She did not wish for us to know of our alliance with a power that created change in such a drastic fashion."
"Alliance… or allegiance?"
Luna stopped and stared pointedly at Mykel. "Speak plainly."
"One does not make a throne for a visiting ambassador, no matter how respected. I have no doubt in my mind that that throne was built specifically for the Emperor himself to sit in. Unless the throne is purely symbolic, that meant that he was to have come here."
"And yet, he did not. Doth thou have any clue as to explain his absence?"
The room was silent for a few minutes as Mykel considered the possibilities. "You said that he would have contacted your mother more than a thousand years ago. That would have been long before the Great Crusade even began. Yet, I cannot imagine that he would have forgotten about an entire world and its people."
Or can you? A thought rose unbidden to his mind and Mykel shook his head to clear it. "Perhaps we are on the edge of the galaxy. That's the only reason I can think of as to why the Imperium's crusade fleets have not arrived here yet."
"That being the case, how didst thou come to be here? If travel between worlds is indeed only possible only due to magic, then how is thy presence here even possible?" Luna's face was suddenly very skeptical.
"I…" Mykel had legitimate trouble remembering his journey to this new world. "I was in that other dimension. I do not remember much of it, but… it was horrible. Just when I thought that I would go mad, I suddenly found myself in the sky above the forest and I fell."
"And how wert thou able to travel through that place of horror, hmmm," Luna pressed.
Despite focusing his concentration on his memories and taking slow breaths, Mykel was not able to recall how it had actually happened. There was… a wall there. A space in his memory. The harder he tried to remember, the more it hurt his head. Mykel placed his hands on the sides of his head to help dull the sudden headache he had inflicted on himself. "I truly cannot remember. Whether through some fell sorcery or being unconscious for the first part, I know not how I came to be there."
At first, Luna did not believe his words. Cyan eyes met forest green as she weighed his testimony. Eventually, she relented. "If such recollection does indeed bring such ache to thy skull, perhaps more wine would be appropriate?" Luna lifted the decanter and topped off his wine glass. After a second's hesitation, Mykel nodded his thanks.
"I have been answering many of your questions. Only fair that you should do the same. Earlier, you spoke of your defeat and the… 'Elements of Harmony'. What are those relics and how did they banish the shadow without killing you?"
Taking a seat by the table, Luna explained, "Our reign as Nightmare Moon was powered by terror, despair, and resentment. We cannot explain how the Elements came to this world, but they have proven to be instrumental in combating evil. When all six of them are brought together, even the foulest of creatures run back into the shadows from which they crawled. Nightmare Moon – that is to say, We – were struck by the light emanating from the artifacts and the Tantabus recoiled."
"This light… Describe it."
Luna looked at him sardonically. "Thou art not an expert on magic, but can divine its nature by sheer color?"
"Humor me."
"Very well… It was an extremely bright light, white with golden undertones."
"Did you ever see your mother cast magic?"
"Yes, often." Luna face firmed as she began to see where the line of inquiry was going. "Art thou insinuating that our Mother infused the Elements with Her own power before leaving us?"
"It would make sense." Mykel swirled his glass before knocking back a heftier portion. "She would not have wanted to leave you without defense, I am sure. If those contained only a fraction of her power, she must be an extremely powerful psyker." He leaned forward in consideration. "Perhaps that is why the Emperor wanted to come here. To learn the secret of this weapon and use it against the unnatural occurrences that become more frequent."
The Princess of the Night shook her head. "Thou doth not understand. The Elements are not a weapon. They are a symbol of the harmony that we have strived to achieve and the understanding that we share between each other."
"You make them sound like religious icons," Mykel snorted in displeasure.
"Whatever the truth of their existence is, We know not. Only that they have proven their worth time and again in times of strife. They now reside in the town of Ponyville, ready for whatever evil rears its vile head next."
Luna crossed her front hooves to settle down more comfortably, her wings elongating slightly as her muscles relaxed. "Perhaps the wine is a bit stronger than We remember, for We have forgotten to ask the most important questions: why art thou here and how willst thou return home?"
"I'm not supposed to be here." Mykel became agitated at the reminder. "I'm supposed to be back home, on Caliban. The time away from my duties has been, admittedly, a luxury, but I must return home. War has finally come to Caliban and I must be there to help turn back the tide."
Placing her cup on the table, Luna looked at him with sympathy in her eyes. "We know how it feels to be kept from the place that you love. We promise that, on the morrow, We shall speak with Our sister and see if there is anything that can be done to return thee home swiftly." A magically levitated napkin, glowing blue from Luna's aura, wiped the wine from her snout.
Awkward silence hung in the air for a while as the warrior was lost in thoughts. Before Luna could break the silence with a question, he finally raised his head and said, "Mykel."
Having become slightly fuzzy from the wine and the comforts of an old hideaway, Luna shook herself and asked, "What didst thou say?"
"My name is Mykel, Princess Luna of the Moon and Night. Mykel, Knight of the Order."
"Ah, a knight, eh?" Luna's eyes twinkled with interest. "That would make thee 'Sir Mykel', no?"
"Some would say so, but not I." Mykel sat a little straighter on the bench, pausing for a moment as the shifting weight caused the wood to creak in protest. "The Knights of the Order came from all walks of life, from the lowest peasant to the highest of lords. Birth does not nobility make."
Across the table, Luna giggled at that last statement. It was so unlike her usual haughty airs that Mykel found himself surprised. "Would but that thou couldst inform the nobles of Canterlot with such wisdom!"
"If they are anything like the nobles that I met before joining the Order, I will pass on the opportunity to meet them."
That response only further tickled Luna. Her laughter increased, punctuated here and there by a snort. In the face of such honest merriment, Mykel could not help but give a small smile of his own.
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As the night went on, the tone of their conversation became more relaxed. Luna related the difficulties she had in reintegrating herself into the world after a thousand years' imprisonment. At her behest, Mykel told some of Caliban's old stories about Beast Quests and the founding of the Order.
Expressing the desire to stretch her legs and fight off the drowsiness of the wine, Luna took Mykel on a tour of the castle's interior. That mysterious hallway he had seen earlier in the door, she explained, was known as the Hall of Hooves. When Mykel questioned the purpose of such a place, a twinkle came to Luna's eye.
Down in the depths of the castle, she showed him the organ that was responsible for the many trapdoors and revolving walls that had been installed in the castle. While Luna took great delight in recalling the elaborate pranks that she and her sister had been involved with in their younger days, Mykel took careful note as she showed the function of the various keys. This must have been installed in the castle at great cost, but the only use intended for it was as a toy for children? Does she not see the defensive usefulness of such a system?
Luna explained that there were empty holes in the walls of the Hall of Hooves for the sisters to stick their hooves out and scare potential visitors. When Mykel had given her a disappointed scowl in response, she defended that such games had been played back when they were "fillies" and just beginning to understand the full depth of their responsibilities. Some lighthearted fun was necessary to combat the stress that they found themselves under. As someone whose idea of free time included expanding his knowledge and training, Mykel simply could not understand her explanation.
Later on, standing in the great hall, Luna asked if Mykel could give her a weapons demonstration of the sword that he carried on his back. Normally, he was loathe to simply practice swordplay when demanded, but Luna's sincere curiosity overcame Mykel's misgivings. Soon, reflected moonlight danced in the hall as Mykel went through his sword forms. The nature of his weapon meant that he had had to modify the Order's training styles to compensate for its size. Instead of rapid thrusts, Mykel's form consisted of wide swings and carrying momentum rather than abrupt changes in position. Watching with rapt attention, Luna asked him at one point, "Thou art walking a path through thy forms, 'tis true?"
"Good eye," Mykel acknowledged, but did not explain further. The Order's techniques were not to be handed out to outsiders like bread in a noble's hall. Luna explained that she had a greater respect for the martial arts than either of her two sisters, who had been more focused on statecraft and developing their magical talents.
Engrossed in their own quest of discovery, both were surprised when the light of dawn trickled its way into the ruins of the castle. Luna gazed up at the sky knowingly. "We left Our sister in a rather hasty manner yesterday. We must return to Canterlot and speak with her. Try to… make amends." She flapped her wings in readiness. "But fear not, sir knight. We will not forget the promise that we have made. We shall return within a few days. It may take us some time to consult the Royal Library and devise a plan of action." Rising up into the air, Luna hovered and concluded, "We look forward to speaking with thee again, Mykel of the Imperium. We hope that thou doth feel the same."
With one powerful surge of her wings, Luna shot through the ceiling and was soon lost in the sun's rays. Gazing up after her, Mykel continued to marvel at the strange world that he had been so unceremoniously dumped into. 'Tis a strange place, this Equestria. There is wonder here… but I clearly do not belong.
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Princess Celestia sat in her chambers as she enjoyed the simple pleasure and escape provided by a cucumber sandwich on white bread and a cup of herbal tea. She could have chosen for the chefs in the castle to provide her with something more extravagant, but after serving for centuries as the ruler of Equestria, Celestia had found that it was sometimes the simplest things that were the most comforting. It was just past noon and she had called a recess in the Day Court while she refreshed herself with lunch. In far too little time, however, it would be time for her to return to the throne room and attend to matters large and small within their nation.
It was tempting, far too tempting, to simply delegate these issues to somepony else. The issue was not a lack of her own trust in her officials – well, most of her officials, at any rate – but rather that the visiting ponies only trusted her to provide an unbiased and unselfish judgment. Even when the decision went against them, the defeated party bowed their heads and respected her wishes. Celestia had been trying to prove for centuries that ponies could govern their own affairs, but the respect they had for her bordered on… was nothing less than worship, really. When the servants thought that she wasn't listening, she could hear them swear by her name, as if she was a divine figure rather than a mere pony that had been entrusted with a greater responsibility than others.
Celestia was about to berate herself for going down that train of thought yet again when the sound of flapping wings turned her head to regard the balcony to her room. Luna settled down onto the stone balcony, her hooves clacking against its white stone. A smile was present on Luna's snout; the sort of smile that bore the last tinges of grief before it was finally wrung out from one's soul and acceptance settled in its place. Absently setting her sandwich down, Celestia looked into the welcoming eyes of her sister and cantered over to envelope Luna in a fierce hug. The sun's warmth played over the two as they merely stood in silence for a moment.
Pulling herself back to allow Luna some space, Celestia gently asked, "So, are you feeling better now?"
Luna's nod, while not completely confident, was a welcome sight in its honesty. "Yes, We are feeling much better than last night. The flight did Us much good. We took it upon Ourself to visit the old castle and see how it has fared in our absence. Not well, as to be expected, but some of the old glory remains." Her tone grew optimistic. "Perhaps one day, with the proper care, it could one day be great again."
"Like somepony else I know," Celestia smiled as she nuzzled her sister near the base of her horn. The proximity, however, exposed the older sister to the smell of alcohol on Luna's breath and the slight purple tinge to her cheeks. "Luna, did you get into a wine bottle while you out," Celestia admonished. While alicorns were more resistant to alcohol than most, there was still no good excuse to be flying long distances with it in somepony's system.
"Aye, We were, but 'twas not a solitary activity," Luna quickly explained. "While We were revisiting the old castle, there was a stranger there with whom We conversed and shared wine with him."
That got Celestia's attention quickly. Her little sister covered her snout in sudden mild horror as Celestia's own snout curled into a cheeky grin and her eyes narrowed. "Him? A little midnight rendez-vous, hmm?" Despite their status as immortal beings and enforced distance from suitors, Celestia always found a way to tease her sister about the entanglements of romance. "Was he… nice?" A merry twinkle danced in Celestia's eye as the last word rolled off her tongue in a salacious manner.
"Doth thou seek to make Us the subject of slander, 'Tia," Luna asked in a heated whisper. "Besides, thou knowst us better than that. We would not… tarry so with someone that We had just met."
"Someone?" Celestia's playful grin grew even wider and her eyebrows rose in mock surprise. "He's not even a pony? My my, little Lu-lu, what would the nobles ever think?"
"'Tia!" Luna's cheeks had turned fully purple in outraged embarrassment. You make it far too easy for me, little sister. With something between a growl and a groan, Luna smacked her head into Celestia's chest (although she was careful to position her horn in a safe manner). A matronly chuckle accompanied a gold-shod hoof running through the star-lit mane as Celestia soothed her sister's ruffled feathers. "Forgive my teasing, Luna. I'm glad that you have finally made a friend here. But, if I may ask… why was he at the castle in the first place? It's not a place for simple sight-seeing."
"We are glad that thou hath asked, dear sister." Pulling her head back, Luna looked up at Celestia. "He is a stranger to our lands and seeks to return home. However, it is far, far away from here and he needs our help. Canst thou aid him?"
Celestia's smile slipped as she noted how serious Luna was being about this. "I can try to help, but time is running short before I must return to the Day Court. We shall have to wait until this evening, after the Court has been adjourned. In the meantime, please, come enjoy lunch with me."
As the two walked over to the table, Luna's walking was slightly off-balance and her eyelids fluttered. When she let loose a yawn, Celestia placed a hoof over her own snout to stifle a grin. "And afterwards, perhaps a nap would be in order for you. Don't want you nodding off during your Night Court lessons tonight, right?"
Luna merely nodded wearily in response. Luckily for Luna, the chefs had brought a few extra sandwiches for their Princess – Are they trying to tell me something, Celestia wondered – and there was still plenty of tea in the pot. As they sat down and enjoyed the few minutes that they had left, it was clear that the downtrodden mood of yesterday was completely gone. For the first time in a thousand years, Celestia saw her sister smile openly. Thank you, stranger. Whoever you may be, you brought my sister peace.
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Out in the Everfree Forest, death was being brought to an unsuspecting victim. Or, at least, that's what Daggert told himself. In reality, he did not feel like the predator so much as the prey. The surface of the Everfree was home to a wide variety of strange creatures, many of which were territorial, ravenously hungry, huge, or some combination of the three. Daggert kept to the shadows as much as possible, letting his black chitin provide as much of an advantage as it could.
Eventually, despite a few near-encounters that left Daggert's heart beating faster than the Queen dancing on an enemy's grave, he finally made his way to the chasm that separated the ruined castle from the rest of the Everfree. Even in open daylight, there was something about the old place that seemed… spooky. Like there was some ancient presence that hung over the castle and deterred visitors. Realizing that staring up at the castle caused his chitinous body to shake with a sound like chattering teeth, Daggert shook himself and looked up with renewed determination. This was his big chance and he was not going to blow it!
Working up the nerve to rub his forehooves together and snigger in a suitably sinister manner, Daggert's wings buzzed as they lifted him over the bridge. Walking on that thing? Forget that!
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*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
Despite the courteous knocks on the door, Zecora failed to show herself. Apple Bloom, a small filly with yellow fur and red hair, sank a little as she realized the alchemist might not be home. "Hello? Zecora? It's me, Apple Bloom! I brought along my friends today! They said that they wanna give potion-making a try." Her words drawled in the typical rural Apple accent.
Silence greeted her. One of Apple Bloom's friends, an orange pegasus with purple hair, shrugged her shoulders and said in a scratchy voice, "Maybe she's not home, Apple Bloom. She might be out picking flowers or… whatever it is that she does out here."
"Aw," lamented a white unicorn filly with hair alternating between pink and light purple stripes in curls. Her high-pitched whine continued with, "I was really hoping that Scootaloo and I could try for our potion-making Cutie Marks today." She looked at the ground, downcast.
Apple Bloom put a comforting hoof on her shoulder. "Aw, take it easy, Sweetie Belle. We can either wait until Zecora gets back or we can do something else. Anypony got any bright ideas?" Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow along with the inquiry.
"Well…," Scootaloo rubbed the back of her neck, "maybe since we're out here in the middle of the forest, we could try going for a lumberjack Cutie Mark? I mean, there's all these trees around here."
Her farm friend leveled a deadpan expression her way. "One. We don't have an axe or any sort of wood-chopping tools. Two. I know that if we tried something like that out here, in the middle of nowhere with nopony watching, my sister would hogtie me. And three. I don't think Zecora would appreciate us doing that around her house. Y'know, it being a tree and all?"
Scootaloo's ears flattened as she replied defensively, "Yeah, well, at least I'm trying! They can't all be good ideas, Apple Bloom!"
"What about you, Sweetie Belle? Ya got any ideas?"
Where before Sweetie Belle had been looking down at the ground in disappointment, now she was looking at it intently. "Um, Apple Bloom… does Zecora have any potions that make ponies bigger?"
Caught off-guard by such a random question, Apple Bloom sputtered, "I don't think so, Sweetie Belle. Why, you wanna earn a Cutie Mark in being a giant monster?"
Scootaloo gasped as stars lit up in her eyes. "That would be so awesome! We could fight the giant monsters that come to Ponyville sometimes!"
Just as Apple Bloom was about to share her thoughts on that, Sweetie Belle raised a hoof to shush them both. "That's not why I asked. Look at this."
Looking down at the dirt alongside Sweetie Belle, it was Apple Bloom's and Scootaloo's turn to gasp. Framed in front of Zecora's door was a giant… what seemed to be a hoofprint. It was nearly as wide as they were.
"What the hay?!" Apple Bloom backed up a few steps. "What leaves a hoofprint like… that?! That's even bigger than the ones Big Macintosh leaves behind!"
Scootaloo examined the track before stating, "It seems like this one is a day old. Maybe two." Following the apparent direction of the footprint, Scootaloo called out, "Over here, gals!"
Trotting over, the other two members of the trio saw what Scootaloo had picked up: two sets of tracks heading into deeper into the southeastern portion of the Everfree Forest. One was a set of prints that looked like they could belong to an adult size pony. The other was the set of monster prints.
Examining the prints with a magnifying glass, one of the things the Crusaders always brought along with them on the off-chance that it proved useful, Scootaloo explained, "It looks like the big tracks are following the pony prints."
Apple Bloom suddenly looked concerned. "Something wasn't… chasing Zecora, was it?"
"Nah." Scootaloo shook her head. "These prints are too close together to be somepony running. Whoever was here, they just walked that way." She pointed into the treeline.
Rubbing her chin thoughtfully, Sweetie Belle proposed, "Is it possible that Zecora went off with somepony?"
"Don't be silly, Sweetie Belle," Scootaloo chided. "Nopony is that big."
"Weeell…," Apple Bloom drawled, "what if whoever she's with is not a pony?"
It was an exciting proposition to the three of them. They looked at each other eagerly, their lines of thought converging on one idea.
"Sooo… We're totally going to follow them, aren't we," asked Sweetie Belle.
"Of course!" Scootaloo held her front hooves up in emphasis. "For all we know, Zecora has a friend that belongs to a species that nopony else has ever seen before!"
"Y'know, I saw Lyra walking around town yesterday with some weird-looking book. I asked her about it and she said that it was a book about all the critters that live in and around Equestria."
"Maybe… Maybe this is something that hasn't been put in that book yet!" Scootaloo's wings buzzed in excitement.
Apple Bloom held her hoof in front of her smugly. "So, y'all in?"
The other two fillies placed their hooves together to complete the triangle. Taking deep breaths, all three of them shouted in unison, "Cutie Mark Crusaders Monster Hunters! Yay!"
They began trotting in the direction that the footprints had taken, though Sweetie Belle took the time to ask, "Um, are we going to get in trouble for going off the path by ourselves? I mean, there was that whole thing with Twilight getting petrified by the cockatrice and Fluttershy having to save us…"
"Don't worry about it," Apple Bloom assured her. "Zecora wouldn't heading off anywhere dangerous, right? And if the grown-ups get mad at us, we'll just tell them that we were trying to make a new friend. Twilight loves that kind of talk, don't she?"
With an ironclad excuse, the trio journeyed deeper into the darkness of the forest.
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Daggert finally made it to the outside of the castle walls, trying to regain his breath. He'd made the near-fatal mistake of looking down as he was trying to cross the bridge. Startled, his wings had frozen for a fraction of a second and he'd smacked into the rickety old bridge. From there, Daggert had had to make his way crawling its length. Now that he was back on solid ground, perhaps his heart could finally take a rest.
Once he'd recovered his composure, Daggert decided to show a little tactical genius and fly up to the castle's roof rather than just go straight in through the front door. A toothy smirk grew as he flew up toward what was left of the roof. Yes! He'll never see it coming! Just spot him from the roof, fire off a beam, and *boom* headshot! As dead as the Queen's heart!
…On second thought, scratch that last part. Somehow, the changeling felt a tightening in the back of his neck, as if somehow Chrysalis could somehow hear his thoughts from so far away. Better hurry this up.
Finally reaching his destination, Daggert made his way carefully across the crumbling stonework. Huh. I know this is a castle and all, but… this place is bigger than I thought. It might take some time to find him. That was all right. He would be able to chalk it up as a fierce hunt for his prey and only enhance his glory!
It was in the former throne room that Daggert found his target. One thing that had not been made clear from the Queen's scrying was how big this creature was. It was easily twice as big as a pony. Well, maybe except for that big red one that lives on the farm near Ponyville. Seriously, what do they feed that guy? Bales of hay?
Shaking his head, Daggert realized he was getting distracted. His target was in the center of the room. That would have made it super easy… if it wasn't moving around constantly swinging some huge chunk of metal. He didn't know why, but looking at that sword made the muscle itch under Daggert's chitin.
I gotta get him to stop moving around so much. Since sniping wasn't such a great option, another plan came to mind. A toothy grin plastered itself over his snout as he backed away and flew through the roof into another part of the castle. Daggert tried not to shudder as he saw the empty suits of armor that stood watch in the hall. He knew that the suits of armor weren't actually going to come alive, – er, right? – but they were creepy all the same.
Taking a deep breath, his mind focused on the image of a particular pony. Green flame erupted around him and he could feel fur covering his body. His wings shrank into his body and the holes in his legs were filled. Fangs retracted into his jaw. The weirdest part of transformation, as far as Daggert was concerned, was how his eyes shifted in his head and changed.
Soon enough, the transformation was complete. Only the lingering green glow around his newly straightened horn and now-normal eyes gave away the process.
Time for Plan B. The Fun Plan.
Ᾰ
To say that he was traveling in a circle would be an oversimplification. The path that Mykel followed existed only in his mind's eye, burned into memory from decades of sword training in Aldurukh. There had been a great circular carving engraved into the rock there. It had symbolized a knight's journey, from the eager and youthful beginning in the center to its more cautious and disciplined end at the edge. These phases of a knight's life had complementary sword lessons attached to them. The beginning of the drill was marked by very simple maneuvers: practicing proper footing and simple parries and thrusts. As the circle grew outward, the knight followed as he grew older and expanded his repertoire of moves. They built on the previous ones, becoming more complex and blurring the lines between them. As the concentric lines of the circle ran parallel to each other as they expanded, so did the lessons as simple beginner's strokes became masterful movements of precision and power. Only with experience and mastery of the previous set of moves could there hope to be any growth.
As far as Mykel was concerned, it was the greatest, most potent symbol of the Order.
His feet followed the invisible lines that existed on a world far away, his focus nearing meditation levels as his blade moved like an extension of his body. The heaviness of the blade meant that his swings were slower, but they also made it so that his sense of timing and footing had to be absolutely perfect.
"Um, excuse me!"
The unexpected voice threw Mykel out of his trance and he stumbled slightly as the blade shifted in its arc. Annoyed at the break in his concentration, Mykel turned to regard the intruder. A yellow furred pony with orange and yellow hair and green eyes approached, a disturbingly large and overly friendly grin on his face. Mykel noted with disdain the horn that stuck out of his unexpected guest's forehead. A unicorn.
Holding up a hoof in greeting, the pony unnecessarily shouted in a rural accent, "Ain't seen you around these parts here before, pardner! Whatcha doing out here all by your lonesome?"
Shifting into a more wary stance, Mykel responded coldly, "I could ask you the same question."
The pony's eyes darted nervously and sweat began to bead on his forehead. "Aw, c'mon now, don't be like that! I just wanna be your friend. Now, c'mon down here and give me a good old-fashioned hoofshake!" He wiggled the offered appendage.
Mykel did not move. "Who are you and where do you come from?"
"Me? I'm, uh… I'm Brayburnt from Aaaaaappleloosa!" Brayburnt reared on his hind legs as he mentioned his place of origin. "It's down south of here and I just felt like taking a bit of a walk."
"What makes you think that I am here alone," Mykel pressed.
"Well, I don't anypony else around," Brayburnt pointed out. "This place doesn't get a lot of visitors."
"Indeed it doesn't." The blade was draped over Mykel's shoulders. "Which brings us back to the question as to why you are here."
"I was sent to get you by Princess Celestia, Our Lady and Savior," Brayburnt swore fervently. "She's gonna make you feel welcome, just like everypony else. Praise the Sun!" The pony raised his hooves in reverence a little too enthusiastically.
"Directly from Canterlot?"
"Yes." A friendly grin answered him.
Mykel's grip visibly tightened on the sword. "Canterlot is north of here."
Looking at the knight aghast, "Brayburnt"'s strained welcoming grin withered into a snarl. The voice that escaped the pony's lips was no longer warm and friendly, but instead shrill and raspy. "D'aw, crabapples."
A green beam of light erupted from the liar's forehead and struck Mykel in the chest. The last thing that Mykel expected was for sorcery to function like a more powerful las-weapon and the impact threw him off-balance. His adversary took advantage of his distraction to quickly engulf himself in green flame and… change. Yellow fur gave way to ugly black chitin. Green on white eyes were replaced by soulless blue ones. Bug-like wings erupted from its back and carnivorous fangs sprung forth. The whole assemblage was supported by legs that suddenly erupted with holes that went clean through.
Mykel had seen many strange Beasts, but none compared to the creature that stood before him. Quick as thought, it once again erupted in green flame and flew through the air straight at him. Not expecting the move, Mykel was too late to dodge. Despite the creature's smaller size, the sheer velocity of the attack and the clear sorcery put behind it proved too much to stand against. The impact knocked Mykel back into a support pillar. Cracks rapidly traveled up the structure and shifted the stone horse's head at its top. With a groan, the pillar and its headpiece finally gave up the fight against gravity and buried the knight in stone.
As the dust settled, Daggert stood there in minor shock. "I… I did it." It was too good to be true. "I did it!" Daggert stood on two legs and performed a series of moves that loosely approximated dancing. He began celebrating in a singsong voice. "Go Daggert! Go Daggert! You're the best! Get down! With your bad self!"
The shifting of crumbled stone and fragments stopped him in the middle of a moonwalk. A black hand arose from the pile of debris and slammed down onto a chunk of fallen pillar. Rising from its stone tomb like the restless dead, the warrior regarded Daggert with soulless red eyes that lacked a shred of mercy as pieces of the pillar tumbled around its form. Yep, too good to be true.
Its fingers trembled in obvious rage as it regarded the cowering changeling before it. The air was soon trembling with the force of its roar as the sound echoed off the walls, freezing the ichor in Daggert's veins. Tinged with bloodlust and rendered metallic by an unearthly echo, it was the sound that nightmares were made of.
Faced with such an imposing adversary, Daggert did the most sensible thing that a changeling could do.
He shrieked like a little filly and flew away as fast as his wings could carry him.
Darting through the halls, Daggert was uncomfortably aware of the thundering tramping of feet behind him in hot pursuit. When he finally reached the welcoming hall, Daggert flew through one of the shattered windows. It was a good thing that he was one of the smaller changelings in the Hive, for the glass shards left over would have shredded him otherwise.
Out in front of the castle, Daggert took a quick moment to catch his breath. He got all of two breaths in before the front gates of the castle slammed open. Putting its foot back down, the giant glared in fury at the changeling.
Finding a rather sudden second wind, Daggert flew as fast as his wings could propel him across the chasm that lay before the castle. Gasping for air, Daggert finally found enough to look backwards and blow a raspberry at his would-be mark. "Good luck getting across that bridge, fatty!"
The chitin around Daggert's face paled grey as the warrior ran straight toward the gap, not even paying attention to the bridge. Aw, c'mon, don't tell me that it can fly!
As it turned out, Daggert was right.
Legs working like pistons, his prey-turned-hunter reached the lip of the chasm' edge and pushed off. How something that massive and heavy could power through the air like that was unfathomable to Daggert, but a small voice in the back of his mind lamented about how unfair it was. For a moment, all was still as Daggert held his breath.
The ground shook underneath Daggert as the giant landed on all fours with a changeling's length to spare from the edge. Its hanging head looked up and those red eyes bore into Daggert like hot iron. Pushing up quickly, one of the creature's hand reached for the sword on its back and swung it down like a hammer. Only pure self-preservation allowed Daggert to tumble out of his stupor. Whooshing past him, the blade sunk into the ground where it struck. The sword's mere presence being so close caused his muscles to fidget in discomfort.
It was finally too much. Shrieking again, Daggert galloped his way into the forest cover of the Everfree Forest. An angel of death followed him, feet pounding in the dirt like a funeral drum.
Ᾰ
"So, Zecora, what do you actually know about this guy?"
Rainbow Dash, a pegasus with light blue fur and a spiky rainbow-colored mane, posed the question as their little company marched through the undergrowth of the Everfree Forest. Zecora led the way, since she knew how to navigate within its dangerous reaches better than anypony.
"He is a warrior from a land far away.
But he is lost, alone and astray.
He needs to return home posthaste
So, I came to you with no time to waste."
"But you met him yesterday. Why didn't you come to Ponyville last night if it was so important?"
"Rainbow Dash," admonished an Earth pony with blonde hair and orange fur. "T'ain't fair to be asking somepony to go galloping through the Everfree Forest after dark. All sorts of nasty critters live in these woods." Applejack glanced warily at the woods around her.
"She came to the library early this morning, Rainbow," Twilight Sparkle added. "Considering how far away her house is, Zecora must have been on the road at dawn." Zecora nodded in affirmation.
"All right, all right, geez," Rainbow Dash huffed.
"W-well, while we're going to visit Mykel, can we k-keep our eyes open? Monty said that there is a dangerous monster in this woods." Fluttershy struggled to suppress a shiver.
"If I might ask, Zecora, why did you not bring Mykel to Ponyville? That would have been more convenient than asking us to drop our plans for today." A white unicorn with deep purple hair in fancy curls held up a hoof in question. "Not that we mind, of course," Rarity added hastily.
Zecora smiled as the Element of Generosity struggled to live up to her title. She explained,
"Mykel's appearance might give a fright.
He is a towering figure, an unearthly sight.
For his welcome, we should start small
before his presence is revealed to all."
"Why would we want to start small when we can just go big?!" Pinkie Pie, a light pink Earth pony with a wild and bouncy bubblegum-colored mane, asked. Her enthusiasm usually made her volume just shy of shouting. "It's been a while since I've had the chance to throw a party. If he's a big guy, then I'll have an excuse to make the biggest welcoming cake ever!" Her voice grew shrill as the last word did come out in a shout.
"Girls," Twilight interrupted in a calming manner, "let's not get excited before we even meet him. If he really is far from home, I imagine that he's somewhat stressed. Whenever we get there, just give him some space until we can figure out how he got here and how dangerous he is actually is." Looking confidently forward, Twilight's seriousness slipped as she started to prance with excitement. "Teehee, I can't wait! I have so many questions for him!"
"'Let's not get excited', huh, sugarcube," Applejack drawled with a raised eyebrow. The smile on her snout took some sting out of the sarcasm.
Blushing, Twilight apologized. "Sorry. I do promise that I will be good and give him a chance to explain things before I bring out the list."
Rarity asked, "A list? What list?"
"Why, a list of the questions that I have, of course!" Using her purple magic, Twilight levitated a thick scroll out of one of the saddlebags on her back. "I have it divided up by topic: military, economics, history, culture, cuisine…"
As Twilight continued on, Rainbow leaned over to whisper in Rarity's ear.
"Do you think a war was ever declared because somepony asked too many questions?"
Ᾰ
Daggert wheezed air in and out of his lungs as his body ached for oxygen. By crawling through a series of thorny vines, he'd managed to buy himself a little time. Even now, however, Daggert could hear the sounds of ripping and snapping vines behind him, along with the nightmarish breathing of his pursuer. This guy just doesn't know when to quit! He had no doubt in his mind that this creature would follow him to the other side of the world if it resulted in his messy death.
Between the long trek to the castle and the desperate chase that followed, Daggert didn't have the strength to just abort the mission and fly away. His reserves of energy were dangerously low. It had been a while since he had ingested love. But where in Tartarus am I going to find that out here, in one of the deadliest places in Equestria?
Scampering through the undergrowth, Daggert heard voices in the distance. Not believing his ears, Daggert skulked closer to the soure of the noise. Peeking through the underbrush, what he saw nearly made his stomach drop. The Elements of Harmony? Here?! Oh, my sweet Queen, what has your loyal servant done to deserve this?
It was no good. He was trapped. If the two-legged juggernaut didn't squash him, the Elements would burn him to ash with their power.
In his fevered desperation, an idea clicked inside Daggert's head. Stunned for a moment at its brilliance, Daggert rubbed his hooves together and allowed himself a fiendish snicker.
Turning around, he waited until his pursuer was within line of sight. The timing was going to be close. But if this works… Hohoho, Queen Chrysalis is going to drop an egg when she finds out!
Of course, the fact that he was going to be shrinking down his body beyond its normal size was going to make things difficult. Not to mention hurt. Just stay focused and appreciate the sheer genius of this plan.
Ᾰ
The psyker had stopped and turned like a cornered animal. No doubt it was tired from the case. As Mykel closed in, green fire engulfed his assailant. When it dissipated, a much smaller unicorn with white fur was left smirking at him.
"Your shapeshifting will not fool me a second time, Beast." Mykel grasped the hilt of his sword, mag-locked to his back during the chase.
The creature said nothing in return. Instead, it turned around and shook its posterior mockingly at Mykel.
Ᾰ
Zecora and company halted suddenly as their fur stood up on end. A deafening roar echoed off of the trees, laced with indignant rage. As it tailed off, a different noise penetrated the gloom: the frightened squeal of a filly.
Before the group could recover and ask the obvious questions, one answer came running out of the bushes. Looking fearfully behind her, Sweetie Belle was breathing raggedly. The filly's eyes widened in hope at the sight of them. "Rarity!" Her high-pitched voice cracked in desperation as the little unicorn ran toward her sister.
"Sweetie Belle?!" Despite her shocked state, Rarity found the presence of mind to hug her little sister close to her chest. "What are you doing out here? What happened?"
Clutching onto her sister for support, Sweetie Belle pointed back the way she came. "There's a monster after me!"
"M-m-Monster?!" Fluttershy squeaked.
The sound of splintering wood interrupted their inquiries. Crashing through the bush like a mad bull came a terrifying figure. It loomed over them with its presence. What little sunlight made its way through the trees glinted cruelly off of the massive blade held in its hands. Rarity felt a chill run down her neck as its pupilless red eyes locked onto her.
"Xeno. Witch." The cold, echoing voice, dripping with hate, was the worst part.
Burying her face in Rarity's chest from fright, Sweetie Belle whimpered, "Make him go away, Rarity!"
Swallowing her fear, Rarity looked at the creature crossly. "And just who are you, mister?"
Once she recovered from her surprise, Zecora gasped, "Mykel!"
"What," the others shouted incredulously.
"Zecora?! You are in league with this- this rabble?" Now it was Mykel's turn to be surprised. His tone grew disappointed as he muttered, "I was too quick to trust." The warrior took a heavy step forward, sword raised.
"Listen," Rarity sternly commanded, "I don't know what happened between you and Sweetie Belle, but it stops now! You will not lay so much as a finger on my sister!" Moisture dampened the fur on Rarity's chest. There is no need for tears now, Sweetie. Big sister is here.
Sword clutched in both hands, Mykel took another step forward and readied a swing. "Stand. Aside."
Suddenly, Rarity found herself flanked by all of her friends. Rainbow Dash floated above with her wings, forehooves raised and ready to strike. Applejack bared her teeth fiercely and Twilight's horn glowed with purple energy as she prepared some spell. Even docile Fluttershy and the overly friendly Pinkie Pie looked deadly serious as they closed ranks.
"We've taken down bigger and scarier creeps than you, bub!" Rainbow's forelegs twirled like a boxer's.
"Yeah! What kind of meanie picks on a little filly," Pinkie yelled scathingly.
Zecora quickly tried to place herself between the two parties and held up her hooved in placation.
"Friends, friends, what are we doing?!
I do not know what trouble is brewing-"
"Zecora!"
The happy greeting from a new voice put a stop to all the shouting. Everyone stopped to regard the newcomers as Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle all emerged out of the forest.
"Apple Bloom," Zecora and Applejack asked in unison. Applejack continued, "What are you doing out here in the Everfree Forest? Don'tcha remember how dangerous it is out here?"
"Well, earlier this morning, we were looking for Zecora at her house, but she wasn't there. We saw these big footprints leading away from her house and wanted to come meet her new friend."
"Woah!" Scootaloo pointedly excitedly at Mykel. "Zecora, is that your friend? He's huge!"
"Hiya, Rarity," Sweetie Belle piped up with a wave.
"Sweetie Belle?" A hair popped out of place in Rarity's mane as she was suddenly overcome with confusion. "But… if you were with your friends, then who…"
Looking down, Rarity found that the first Sweetie Belle had completely disappeared. One of the bushes behind them rustled as the copy made her escape. A deathly silence hung over the clearing as no one spoke.
"Rainbow," Applejack asked tersely.
"Yeah?"
"You wanna…?"
"Eeyup." Landing on her hooves, Rainbow dashed after the imposter. Tension still hung in the air as those left behind glared at each other.
"Check it out, girls!" Mykel's surprise was total when Apple Bloom somehow appeared on his shoulder. His blade lowered as he considered the filly on his pauldron. "Mykel's Cutie Mark is up on his shoulder, not his flank!"
"Yeah," replied Scootaloo from his other shoulder. "I think he's got a different one on this shoulder."
"Two Cute Marks?! Mykel, you're real lucky, ya know that," Apple Bloom asked with a bright smile.
"They are not Cutie Marks!" Mykel's voice thundered indignantly as he finally recovered from being scaled so swiftly and easily. Both of the girls on his shoulders jumped up in fright and everypony's ears winced from the yell. "They are the symbol of my Legion. Every Dark Angel has them."
"What," Scootaloo questioned in disbelief. "So if you join them, they give you a symbol?"
"Maybe we could become Dark Angels, too," Apple Bloom joined in enthusiastically.
Before Mykel could explain in very loud, certain terms why that most certainly was not going to happen, a tapping on his armor's legging caused him to look down. His glare met the white unicorn, so eerily similar to the one that he had chased in the first place. "Excuse me, um, Mister Mykel… We were hoping that you would be willing to help us find our Cutie Marks, since you probably know things that no one from around here does. But I can see that you are busy with the grown-ups, so…" Sweetie Belle hung her head dejectedly while staring upward with disappointed eyes. "Do you want us to leave you alone?"
There was no lie in their words, that much was clear. Standing as still as a statue for a moment, Mykel gave forth a weary sigh and clapped a hand to his helmet with a metallic smack. It was more the idea of the gesture than the actual stroking that tried to dull the sudden headache.
Behind her, Zecora heard a strange sound. Looking at the five ponies from Ponyville, she found that all of them were trying to hide smirks in some fashion or another. Fluttershy's cheeks were red with mirth while she hid behind her lock of hair. Applejack pulled her hat low to keep herself from sputtering. Twilight suddenly found the contents of her question list very interesting. Rarity kept a dainty hoof covered over her mouth as she tried to maintain a cool, collected, lady-like demeanor. Pinkie appeared about ready to fall over with giggles, shaking with restrained laughter.
Turning to regard her new friend, Zecora found the humor in their situation. A great warrior, a mighty killing machine, had been reduced to helpless weariness by a group of small fillies. Rather than snapping, the tension in the air had bled away. She let her own smile grow on her face before resting a hoof gently on the giant's leg.
"Mykel, we brought food to eat.
Why don't you find a seat?
We'll cut the cheese and slice the bread.
Why don't we try introductions again?"
Mykel paused for a moment before asking, "What about the other one?" He tilted his head in the direction that Rainbow Dash had gone.
"Oh, don't worry about her," Applejack assured smoothly. "I'm sure she'll be back soon, hopefully with… whatever-or-whoever that was."
"We were just going to eat at the castle, but all this almost-fighting has worked up my appetite!" Reaching for her own pack, Pinkie Pie flapped a blanket and laid it out on the ground. In typical Pinkie fashion, more food than what should have been able to fit was laid out on the red-and-white checkered surface. Cheeses, fruits, cakes, pies, soups… All of them were either steaming or gave off a cool aroma.
"I call first dibs on the cake! Hope you like chocolate, Mykel!"
Ᾰ
Elsewhere, Daggert squeezed between the roots of an old tree and tried to keep his breathing as quiet as possible. He seethed with indignant rage. What are the frog-flopping chances that those three were in this neck of the woods? Today, of all days?!
It had all been so simple and yet, so devious. Turn his target against the Elements of Harmony through a staged act, watch them fight it out, and then swoop in on the scraps. Instead, Daggert had been forced to run away in the body of a filly and had barely been able to take refuge below ground before the blue pony had come galloping past him. Since this current form had hair, he indulged himself and tugged at it. It just wasn't fair!
Still, it hadn't been all bad. When the one called Rarity had held him close and defended him from the giant… By the Dark Prince, that warmth… Daggert had no idea who the Prince actually was, but it at least gave him something to swear by. Love, pure and unconditional, had flowed into him like a river. The sweet love between family members, with a hint of spicy heat from protectiveness.
And as if that hadn't been enough, the other mares had gotten closer and their love had poured into him as well. It wasn't as strong as Rarity's, of course, but they all added up to an overflow of energy. Daggert had been so high on the sensation that he had drooled on the white unicorn's chest.
It was the most satisfying meal he'd ever had. A week's worth of love in one go. Daggert had never felt this full. He felt practically bloated on love! I gotta get me some more of that! His stomach grumbled as it tried to cope with the feast that he had passively ingested. Ugh. Later. Much later.
For now, it was time to lie low. He'd need to stay out of sight for a while from, well… everyone. The Queen, the Elements, the monster… All of them. Physical exhaustion and a food coma brought on from love presented a very attractive option. Yawning his jaws, Daggert settled in for a nap. Y'know, just for a little while. Like a week. Just a little napsy.
Before Daggert drifted off into the land of slumber, one puzzling question sailed away into the sea of unconsciousness. If love is that filling and oh-so delicious when given, why do we bother taking it? Sadly, philosophy was the last thing on his mind as he curled up into a ball and slept... and dreamt.
