LEAVES, THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL

It was a quiet Saturday afternoon at the Lucky 38, which would have been an oddity in the Mojave Wasteland if the word oddity wasn't the understatement of the century. Not so much as a Kings gang member shot at a passing Freeside junkie. In fact, if Kazdin weren't on a mission from God, she would have deemed herself temporarily insane.

In the back courtyard of the Massive structure sat a small white shed, standing ten feet tall and made of white corrugated metal. Much of the paint was chipped and fading revealing the rust beneath. Kazdin liked scouring the Wasteland when she was on patrol or on a mission handed to her and her crew by a stranger. She searched for the usual odds and ends; ammunition, weapons, money and technology. But she also found herself searching more and more for the usual household tools.

Kazdin was no fool. Sure, she could be dense sometimes, but she also realized that the Lucky 38 could use some serious TLC, and that if she could find the right tools, she could help restore the building to the best of her abilities.

She had found the components for and reconstructed various power tools, among them a leaf blower. It was mid Fall as Kazdin stepped out the giant front doors that led inside the now posh –thanks to Kazdin—casino and nightclub, holding her new leaf blower in hand, the oversized backpack containing the motorcycle fuel tank and various components holding together the motor and carbeurator. A long rubber hose led away from the motor and down, connecting to a long piece of PVC pipe connected to the motorcycle handbrake, which acted as the trigger mechanism which controlled the flow of air from the motor to the pipe.

She wore a magnificent smile of VICTORY! as she strode out toward the freshly cut lawn – thanks to the push mower she had restored with the help of her husband, Craig Boone.

Boone seemed to encourage Kazdin's upkeep of the yard and casino and presidential suite more than the others, who scarcely seemed to care. Veronica had helped decorate and restore the interior of the casino, but she admitted that she never had cared for outdoor work and that she would need to find someone who would be less of a disservice to the former courier.

Kazdin carried the machine strapped to her back out to the yard and smirked. Dry, fragile leaves blanketed the green grass, having dropped from the decorative ferns and trees dotting the landscape.

If there was one thing Kazdin hated more than the now defunct Legion, it was the leaves. Her blue eyes narrowed and a grimace of disdain stretched her full lips as she regarded the one adversary that she had which would never quite. It would retreat for a few months as spring turned to summer, but it would be back with vengeance as fall came around again.

"Okay, leaves," Kazdin muttered dangerously, "We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Just understand that if we do this the hard way I will not stop, I will not quit, I shall not relinquish my horrible vengeance until you all cease to exist!"

The message of intent –this declaration of war—went unanswered. The silence of the enemy mocked and infuriated the Super-Awesome Mayor of New Vegas and she grimaced all the more. She raised her weapon, prepared to do her worst.

"Alright then! You asked for it! Mr. Blowey, attack the enemies!" Kazdin yelled as she rushed forward, hands wrapped around the motorcycle handbrake. With the push of a button, the machine came to life, roaring its own threat of malice to the enemies which simply lay there lazily.

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Craig Boone sipped his coffee, staring out the enormous windows in the cocktail lounge as he watched Kazdin attack the leaves far below him on the ground. Part of him felt vaguely shamed as he was her man and she was the one doing the yardwork. It was true that she cleaned the yard with a zeal unmatched by anything other than her complete devotion to him, but wasn't there this unwritted rule that the husband should be the one doing the yardwork?

"So, lazy bones. Whatcha doing up here while Kazdin cleans the yard?" Veronica intoned as she sat down across from Boone.

"When did you start reading my mind?" Boone asked with a grin.

"I found this book one day. It was called the Necronomicon. Someone tried to flush it down a toilet, but it got stuck." She answered idly, taking in the spectacle below her.

Kazdin was currently rolling on the ground, covered in pine needles, as she stabbed at the leaves nearest her with an unsheathed combat knife. Veronica swore she could hear the screamed threats to the leaves' safety from her perch.

"I… actually believe you." Boone said slowly.

"Anyway, why are you up here and not down there?" Veronica repeated, more out of curiosity than admonishment.

"She seems… entirely convinced that the leaves on the ground are out for world domination. She is just much more enthusiastic than I am. If it were me I would take the rake, rake them up and be done with it. She is on a mission." Boone answered, not taking his eyes from the scene of Kazdin now apparently trying to decide on the leaf blower in her hands or a handy flamer resting just outside the shed.

She chose the leaf blower, not wanting to burn the place down.

"Scared?" Veronica teased with a chuckle.

"Actually… yes. Not of the leaves, more of her." Boone answered honestly. He chuckled to show his mirth.

"No, I'm not scared. It's just like I told you, I think she prefers to go it alone down there and I think I would just get in the way." Boone said after a moment's pause.

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Kazdin muttered various curses to her yard's invaders, shaking her fists and bouncing on her toes angrily. The look on her face would have been adorable to any passers by, but she believed she had the fierceness of a warrior in her eyes.

The wind was picking up now and therefore her adversaries were starting to fight back. She would depress the trigger and blow and blow and blow for all her worth, but the leaves would flutter away a few feet before catching the wind and falling at her feet once more.

The frustration was starting to get to her, angering her more and more as time went on. Finally she threw the leaf blower down and retreated for the moment. The leaves reveled in their victory over the Super-Awesome Mayor of New Vegas by simply lying there and not doing much at all except for being pushed by the wind a few centimeters and settling back amongst the soft green grass.

The elevator dinged suddenly and Kazdin stormed into the recreation room where Arcade Gannon was laughing amicably with Eagle Octavia in the midst of a light-hearted pool game. Kazdin strode over to Arcade who smiled in recognition. He was going to tell her hello but she stopped him mid sentence with a raised hand.

"Arcade, there is an emergency!" Kazdin said loudly, voicing her frustration at the situation at hand.

"What is it?" Arcade asked, suddenly returning to business mode.

Kazdin shook slightly, the look on her face one of pure adorable rage. Arcade was strangely worried, but at the same time he tried his best to kill the smile that threatened his lips at the former courier's demeanor.

"The wind is picking up. The leaves won't die! I blow them and blow them and blow them some more, but they get blown back and settle in a new spot. The flamer is not an option, because then I'll just burn down the stuff I want to keep. So I need you to synchronise the alien blaster with the DNA of this leaf." Kazdin rattled off as she held up a single prisoner of war she had managed to capture.

Arcade couldn't help it. He burst into laughter. Normally a sarcastic man and not necessarily comfortable with boistrous laughter allowed himself to be swept up in the absurdity of it all. Kazdin for her part looked surprised that the normally serious, business minded Arcade Gannon could not understand the severity of the moment.

Even Eagle Octavia, who was nearly legendary for being a quiet, shy woman couldn't stifle the giggles pouring out of her slight frame. She rubbed her forehead with one hand as she held her ribs with her other.

"Kazzy… Kazzy not know what she means. Kazzy not worry, it not as bad as you think." Eagle managed between giggles.

"It's not? The leaves are taking over and they won't blow away. The situation is horrible!" Kazdin said, taken aback at the reaction she had received from this high tension war effort. Didn't they know the enemy was overtaking the back yard and there seemed to be no way to eliminate them? Didn't they know they were all in the midst of a terrible war?

"Kazzy, we are not at war," Eagle said as her giggles finally slowed to happy laughter, "You are only mad because leaves won't go away."

"She's right, Kaz. Its just that you are so frustrated that your mind is telling you this is a situation that is worse than it is." Arcade said. His laughter was replaced by compassion as Kazdin's angry grimace turned to a frown. Her eyes leaked as she pressed a hand over her mouth.

"I… I feel like such an idiot!" Kazdin wailed, pressing her back against the wall.

Eagle moved toward her and wrapped her arms around Kazdin's shoulders. She was still laughing, but Kaz could undeerstand that the giggles weren't being directed at her.

"You're not. We know you did not mean it. It's okay, don't feel dumb. Please?" Eagle said softly as her laughter finally waned and faded.

"Really, thought Kaz. Don't feel bad okay? It's not your fault and we aren't judging you." Arcade said, convincing the woman.

"I'm glad. I mean, it is funny now that I think about it. But wow, what a dunce move I made." Kazdin said, embarrassed.

"Get a cold Nuka cola, Kazzy. You take a break and we all work on yardwork with you." Eagle suggested.

Kazdin nodded, heading for the refrigerator.

"That sounds great, actually. I'm parched. But don't you two start any work until I'm with you. I don't want you guys to be the only ones working." Kazdin said. She popped the top of her Nuka cola and sat ina enarby chair first guzzling from the bottle before slowing down and sipping the remainder.

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That afternoon the whole of the Lucky 38 crew, Kazdin's friends and companions, donned baggy clothes and weilded rakes and bags as they all contributed to make the back courtyard completely leaf free. The work lasted a couple of hours, but with the mirthful laughter and the comeraderie the group felt together, the time truly flew.

Lilly struggled to hold the rake that was made to be too small in her mammoth hands. She fretted before Eagle approached her and offered to take her rake and replace it with the leaf blower. Lilly happily agreed and caressed Eagle's shoulder as she thanked her "new granddaughter" for the consideration. Eagle blushed and welcomed her before skipping off to take care of her job of helping The Jersey Devil rake the leaves into a huge pile, which Eagle immediately desecrated upon completion by jumping into them cannonball style, mad giggles emanating from her slight frame. The Jersey Devil chuckled before saying "well, fuck it" and jumping into the pile as well, finding her mate and tickling her mercilessly.

Soon the rest of the crew jumped into the pile, laughing and wrestling with one another.

Before long, the final remaining leaves were bagged by Arcade and Boone before being shipped off by a Crimson Caravan merchant for fifty dollars.

As the day cooled and early evening came about, Boone and the Jersey Devil insisting on having a Lucky 38 cookout. Boone and J.D. set up the grill and seasoned the Brahmin steaks, which were cut from one of the local herd by Lilly. Kazdin, Eagle Octavia and Veronica prepared side dishes. Among them desert salad, mashed potatoes, steamed vegetables and a quick form of cinamon apple cobbler.

As the light faded, Stella Mayford and Daniel Godwin lit tiki torches with help from the bright light emanating from Monroe's eyes.

Finally before long the Lucky 38 crew sat down together on a slew of blankets set upon the ground by Kazdin and Eagle and they ate their shared bounty, joking and laughting with Kazdin about her debacle with the leaves earlier.

Boone pulled her close and kissed her lips and when they separated kazdin called for the meal to begin. It was a very satisfying and delicious end to a very long and emotionally exhausting day.