Chapter 8: Echo Girl's Revenge II
It had been worth it. All the sneaking around, all the stolen moments it took Zen to find time to practice and hone his rendition of Maroon 5's "Girls Like You" for MC. In the couple of hours after she left for work before he went to rehearsals, he spent his time working out the choreography for the song and perfecting his dance moves. Zen had also had to spend a fair amount of time working hard to hit some of the high notes that Maroon 5's singer Adam Levine was able to - he had quite a range, Zen had to admit. It had been challenging, actually, but Zen liked to be challenged. He'd always gotten a certain satisfaction from the work it took to be an actor. Most people thought it was all about standing on stage and looking pretty. How wrong they were.
It was also great motivation to think about MC and the look on her face she would have while she was watching him. He knew right away that she'd know he'd done this all for her. Unlike other people, MC saw and valued the work he did as an actor. She knew he was more than a pretty face. In fact, he guessed that she didn't care all that much really about his pretty face. In fact, she'd already seen the ugly part of him, the part of him he'd always been so desperate to hide, but was now kind of OK with. She saw him for who he is, and loved him anyway, possibly more because of his flaws. She was the one who showed him the value of being broken, how that state of being can make you even more beautiful, unique, one of a kind. Like the Japanese idea of Wabi-Sabi, the idea that true beauty is imperfect, impermanent and in process, he accepted that he had to go through everything he went through just to be here now, and without some of the painful parts, he might be incomplete, and not with MC now.
As much as he imagined it, the look on MC's face when he actually performed the song was unexpected and better, much more satisfying than all his daydream fantasies. Zen knew how much MC loved this song, but he didn't know if/how much she realized that he knew she loved it, too. He couldn't help but smile when the lead guitarist ripped in with the opening riff, and MC put her small hands up to her mouth in joyful surprise and recognition. It was the visual representation of "Ohhh… I love this song" and it warmed Zen's heart to no end, urging him to go on and give the performance of his life.
Throughout the whole performance, MC remained fully attentive, her beautiful mouth half open, eyes wide. Her expression was a mixture of love, awe and appreciation. Zen had spent a lot of time on stage in front of audiences. He'd seen a lot of admiring faces, a lot of adoration, a lot of lust. He loved and appreciated it all. Unlike a lot of stars, he tried to empathize with his fans, not take advantage of them, but see them for who they were, and most of all, to remember that they had helped him gain whatever fame he'd achieved so far. Yes, he knew fandom, but this was different. Unlike his fans, MC knew him for real. She harbored no poster-boy-teenage-crush-marketing-campaign image of him, she knew the real deal and she loved him. Watching her lose her mind at him in that moment, kind of like a fan would do, Zen knew that she was, and would forever be, his favorite fan of all time.
When the song was over, MC lurched forward and launched herself into his arms. "Did you practice that?" she said.
"Yeah, maybe a little," he said, blushing. He didn't mind that she noticed. He wanted her to notice. He wanted her to know that she meant that much to him, that he cared.
Zen was just about to lean down to kiss her when Yoosung burst into the room. Man, that kid had timing, he thought, and not really the good kind.
"What'd I miss?" Yoosung said, innocently.
Jaehee rolled her eyes. "Oh, not much," she said. "Just the performance of Zen's entire career."
Zen blushed again to hear Jaehee say that. Although she was a super fan for sure, she didn't dole out compliments easily, and she had a fairly high comprehension of his oeuvre. Her opinion was definitely a good measure of his performance. MC squeezed his hand. She was obviously thinking the same thing.
"Oh darn," Yoosung said. "Sorry I missed it. I was… uh…"
"Playing LOLOL like your life depended on it?" Saeyoung offered.
Yoosung shot Saeyoung a look that made Zen drop his mouth in surprise. Was that a dirty look? He thought. From Yoosung? He didn't think Yoosung was capable of such a face.
"Like you didn't know anything about it," Yoosung retorted. A dirty look followed up by an irritated retort. The moon must be in retrograde, Zen thought.
Yoosung's expression changed when he saw Lexi-Ann. Zen sighed. It was kind of pathetic how susceptible Yoosung was to a pretty girl. Although Lexi-Ann was a pretty girl, Zen acknowledged that a bonafide pretty girl wasn't even needed to draw Yoosung's attention. Yoosung, in his ever-quest of a girlfriend, was kind of predictable that way.
"Well, hello…" Yoosung said, extending a hand. "You must be Lexi-Ann."
"And you're Yoosung," Lexi-Ann said.
Pleasantries were interrupted by a noise at the door. "Yooo-hooo?!" A voice called.
Zen turned toward the voice and a chill went down his spine as he both recognized and viscerally reacted to the sound.
The first thing he saw was a swish of blond hair, followed by a theatrical smirk, thus punctuated by an outlined bow of red lipstick.
"Hey, Lovey-hubby," she cooed. "Fancy seeing you here." The way she said it intonated that this chance "interruption" wasn't a mistake.
Zen watched open-mouthed as Echo Girl entered the room with her entourage in tow, including her star-struck whatever-you-say manager Kim Dong woo, her assistant, Eun-yi and her current fanboy boyfriend, Yu Myung-hwan.
What the…? He thought.
"Oh, hello, Echo Girl," Jumin said, stepping forward, Zen thought a little too graciously. "Glad you could make it."
Zen couldn't help himself. "Could make it?" he repeated.
Echo Girl gave him a flash of her violet eyes. "Why, yes," she cooed. "Jumin was so kind as to invite us."
Zen felt anger flare up in his body and he shot a very deliberate look at Jumin. The look said how dare you, but his voice said, "Oh is that so?"
Zen felt MC's grasp go limp in his hand and his heart followed in kind. He was feeling most acutely disappointed about how Echo Girl's appearance had eclipsed his near flawless expression of Maroon 5's "Girls Like You" and his pure adoration and devotion to MC. But, moreover, he was also battling ill feelings about other vague things related of deeper consequence, things he couldn't really put his finger on yet.
"Yes," Jumin said, gesturing to an empty set of seats on the opposite side of the room. "Please join us, Echo Girl," he said, and then he directed his attention to Zen. "With Season 2 of More Than Friends starting production in two weeks, we thought it appropriate to start the marketing campaign…"
"What the hell are you talking about?" Zen said, finding it hard both not to be rude and to disguise his irritation. The look of utter shock and astonishment on Jaehee's face showed that she was also unaware of Jumin's plans to promote the second season of More Than Friends. Zen couldn't bring himself to look at MC's face during this moment, although he could already full well picture it in his mind.
"Well who did you think was going to fund such a venture?" Jumin said acidly.
Zen felt his whole spirit deflate in an almost cosmic way. At once he was a rising star with the potential of exponential proportions, the next moment he as merely a nebula. He was under the impression that the reason More Than Friends had been renewed was purely due the merit and success of the show.
"What are you saying, just exactly?" Zen said, as all the familiar pieces started to fall into place, the distrust, the misperception. He felt MC's small hand squeeze his forearm in sympathy or support, he couldn't tell which, it all just resonated as warmth, he thought, but couldn't be sure.
Almost as if on cue, a small crew of camera people and reporters shuffled into the room behind Echo Girl and her entourage. Zen did a double take.
"What the fuck, Jumin?" He said, his red eyes flashing and his silver hair flaring.
Jumin shrugged his shoulders in an all-too-smug sort of way like I don't know what you're talking about.
Zen looked to Jaehee instinctively, eyes pleading. Please help me.
"Mr. Han," she started. "I didn't… I don't…"
Echo Girl interrupted with her vibrant, commanding voice, loud enough for everyone to hear. "Darling, my love," she said, batting her thick, long eyelashes at Zen. "Let's us sing a song," she said in a sweet, theatrical voice, almost otherworldly. She followed it up with a longing look and an outstretched hand toward the stage. Truly, it was a moment to be captured and the cameras started to flash intuitively.
Zen's face furrowed in disgust and he started to open his mouth when he felt an insistent tug on his arm. "Honey?" MC whispered. "Are you OK?"
Zen was so overcome he couldn't answer so he just swallowed and nodded. He let himself look down and lock eyes with hers, his flame red ones on her earnest brown ones.
"OK, baby," she said. "Just listen to me, OK?"
He nodded, again. Ok, he said without speaking. I trust you.
"It doesn't matter," she said deliberately. "None of this matters. It's just part of the show, remember?"
Zen looked at her in disbelief. Out of everyone here, he didn't expect her to be the one that would go along. His red eyes searched her lovely brown ones. Are you sure? His eyes said. Hers flashed back. Yes, it's OK.
He felt every part of his being saying so clearly no and physically his stomach turn over in protest. "Ok, princess," he felt himself say in a slow whisper. Then in a loud clear, unknown voice he heard himself address the crowd.
"OK, LoveyHunny," he said, using his pet TV name for her. "What do you want to sing?"
"Oh, I don't know, LoveyHubby," she cooed, overjoyed, overcome. "How about 'ReWrite The Stars'?"
The cameras responded, clicking in ernest.
Zen couldn't help but notice the specific way Echo Girl looked at MC just then, but it rang true with everything he characterized in his repertoire as "evil". He realized in that moment for every bit he loved MC as a fan, as a lover, as a person, he hated Kyungju. He hated, absolutely hated her. He glanced at Jumin, at the reporters, and finally, at MC, and he realized that, as much as he hated Kyungju, he also needed her, too. He needed Echo Girl a lot.
Echo Girl shot an ernest look a Zen, seemingly to clue on exactly his thoughts, followed by a subtle smug look at MC. Zen didn't exactly know the implicit language of girl-talk, but he knew enough to translate the essential meaning. "You're fucked" it said.
Beyond his own willpower, Zen felt his body being led up to the stage in the wake of a barrage of camera flashes. He heard the commentary of the accompanying reporters. "South Korea's ideal couple is going to sing the theme song from the upcoming season of More Than Friends... "
He knew the words of the song by heart. It was a tried-and-true tune for callbacks around the country, not alone around the world.
"You know I want you, it's not a secret I try to hide," he breathed, starting the song and trying not to look at MC. "I know you want me, so don't keep saying 'my hands are tied'..."
Echo Girl reached forward as if to grab Zen around the shoulders, but he instinctively moved forward to grab and succumb her wrists as the drama of this script demanded. He sang on.
"But you're here in my heart… so who can stop me if I decide that you're my destiny?"
Zen felt something sick, ugly, and yet familiar. He was doing the thing that was expected of him, the thing that other people wanted, the thing that felt sadly against his nature, the thing that, in fact, had nothing to do with who he really was at all.
He looked over at MC. She was sitting in the corner looking very small, her dainty hands folded on her lap, her legs crossed. She looked absolutely beautiful, wearing a simple, but well cut little black dress. In that moment, though, she was unreadable. There was none of the excitement, none of the glee she expressed during Maroon 5's "Girls Like You", or any of the other performances he had done earlier that evening. During the duet he was performing with Echo Girl, MC looked blank and perhaps a bit sad behind the eyes.
Was this really "OK" as she had said? Zen wondered and thought likely, no, no it wasn't.
