Do you breathe the name of your savior in your hour of need,
And taste the blame if the flavor should remind you of greed?
Of implication, insinuation and ill will, 'til you cannot lie still . . .
Ash's fingers were digging into his palms, threatening to tear through skin.
He was upset. May was in the hospital with a bleeding ankle and bleeding wrists (and God knows what else), along with a female doctor, just in case there was something else. He might throw up.
The worry and anger were battling for dominance and he could hardly stand for the emotions raging through him. Anger at the doctor for his suggestion that only made him worry more. Anger at Drew for his lack of help in finding May. Anger at Harley for what he had done and for whatever else he might've done (of what Ash still didn't know.) Anger at himself.
Anger at himself was the worst. He shouldn't have left her in the green. He should have watched her. He should have at least been close enough to hear her when she left with Harley. How had he missed that? How had she possibly left without him hearing? How had he missed Harley's voice? He had to have talked to her. Was he that absorbed with himself? That he would completely miss one of his best friends being kidnapped?
Ash sat down on a long padded bench in the waiting room, placing his head over his locked hands with a sigh. Pikachu leaned over Ash's shoulder to look at him in concern, sighing in concern when Ash did nothing to take in anything outside his own thoughts.
The waiting room was small. One bench with no backrest lined most of the wall, which Ash was now occupying. He seemed to be giving off an aura of worry as no one cared to sit near him. There was a small padded chair in one of the corners, and box of toys in the one beside it. Against the wall opposite Ash was a small row of four chairs, two of which were occupied by an elderly couple. Neither of them seemed to be in any sort of pain, but it was hard to tell why a person would visit a hospital.
A child searched through the toys, but no one else was present in the small room so Ash assumed in passing that she was the elderly couples' grandchild. Now she pulled a little car from the toy chest with a triumphant, "Ha!" Ash glanced at her out of the corner of his eye (it was hard to ignore the outburst), and felt a twitch in the corner of his mouth despite himself. She placed it on the ground beside herself and proceeded to cover it with the hem of her rather short white dress. "Uh-oh. How will they get out? They'll have to dig!" And the toy car came into view from beneath the folds of her dress and onto her leg.
Ash couldn't help it. He choked on a laugh trying to hold it in. She looked up and stared at him for a moment, looking between his eyes. Then, apparently deciding that he was OK to talk to, she said seriously, "They were buried in the snowrift."
Ash blinked. Snowrift?
"What's that?" He didn't have much room in his mind for small talk, asking things strait out seemed a much better way to go at the moment.
She blinked back at him. "You know, a snowed rift. When somebody's all stuck under the snow."
Ah. It should have been obvious really. Snowdrift.
"Are they OK?" His voice was quieter than he would usually talk, but for some reason it seemed wrong to talk louder.
She nodded. "Yep, when they got stuck under, they pulled back their stick and vrrmed all the way out of there." She picked the toy car up and drove it in a fast circle around herself. Ash finally took in her appearance. She was wearing an all white dress, with small string sleeves, understandable in the thick heat, and bare feet (which was strange). The only thing completely off about her outfit was the red and pink bandana on her head. It was hazardly tied in the back, and looked ready to fall off. Still the only hair that showed beneath it were a couple thin strands of orange-red hair peeking out from beneath the flap of one side.
Ash stared, suddenly transfixed, as she turned away from him and began to look through the chest again, car abandoned next to her almost too small knee.
You didn't see that shade of hair very often. It was rare. Almost exactly like . . .
"Hey look!" He jumped as he was pulled roughly from his thoughts, the little girl popping up right in front of his face with her hands closed in front of her, held out to Ash in what looked to be excitement.
Ash looked at her hands in confusion as he took in the obvious glee in her gaze. "Um-"
"This is for you!"
Ash froze when she opened her hands, a few strands of orange-red hair held in her palms. He looked immediately up into her eyes, finding nothing but excitement there. Pikachu stared at her hands, both of them confused but Ash moreso. He felt unable to speak, almost scared. Was she offering him . . . some of her hair? His gaze was drawn to her hair line as he only just discovered that there was no hair line. Her bandana was pulled up just a bit past her forehead, and where roots would be, there was nothing.
Looking back into her small hands holding out little curly strands of what was left of her hair, he wanted to do or say something but had no idea what.
Finally Pikachu nudged his cheek and side as if to urge him to move and he held his hands up shakily as she finally dropped the strands into his palms.
He turned to look at the elderly couple to see what they thought of the development and was surprised when they only stared with pity. It was obvious that his earlier assumption had been wrong. They weren't related to this young girl. So where was her family?
"Emily! Honey, you're not supposed to be in here." A young nurse entered the room, looking relieved to have finally located the girl.
The girl frowned, a pout starting. "But I was just playing."
"Well . . . you're not supposed to play in here. We have another room for you to play in. Lots of toys."
"But I like it in here. Everyone's mean and its too full of people to play at all!"
Ash took in the growing scene with wide eyes. It seemed that his recent assumption was right. The girl was sick.
As the nurse reached them she paled, looking from Ash's still hands to the girl's pouting gaze.
"Oh, I-I'm sorry. She seems to think that people like, um, like her hair."
Emily frowned. "Well, it's true, isn't it? People are always happy to get my hair. They always say thank you."
The nurse looked at her in pity, then back to Ash. "I'm sorry, sir." Then she reached down and took Emily's hand. "C'mon sweetie, lets go back to the other room, ok? These people need quiet right now."
"But I'm quiet." She whined, coming along with the nurse despite her earlier words.
Ash watched them as they began to walk off in silence. Then the girl stopped and pulled on the nurse's resisting hands, smiling at Ash as the nurse tried to get her to move on. "You're nice, mister." Then she finally gave into the nurse and went with her.
Ash looked back at his hands, staring at the strawberry strands as if transfixed, and suddenly wanted to cry. There was something wrong with that girl. Something different about that beautifully innocent child. She was small. Good. Had she ever done something to deserve what was happening to her? Was she sick mentally? He would never know.
Had May deserve what had happened to her? Did anyone ever? Did a good God even exist?
He choked, holding back his emotion. It seemed wrong that a day should shake him so much. 24 hours to throw him so thoroughly. But was it their fault? Would a good God really let someone, an innocent child, have a mental disease or let someone be kidnapped?
He moaned and leaned back, his head hitting the wall. This was the moment when it all hit him. Was there any reason to this? Would May ever be able to talk about it? Was there anything he could do about it?
His eyes opened suddenly. There was something. And it wasn't much, but it was something. And with his lack of control he felt a need to do it, almost a driving desperation. He had to do it.
He stood and headed to the exit, glancing back at the last moment. May would be fine.
"You're nice mister!"
His jaw clenched. Yes, he had to act.
Ash's feet hit the concrete outside the edge of the hospitol grounds and for a moment, only a moment, he wondered at what to do. May was in the hospitol, Harley was missing, and he had no idea where to go next. Everything within the last few stressful hours had led up to May being found. And now that she was, what next?
Pikachu moved on Ash's shoulder. He was out of it. So much so that he was practically ignoring Pikachu. He didn't mean to. He wasn't trying to do it, and really, just the familiar weight on his shoulder was very comforting to him. One thought led to the next, and Ash remembered May's pokemon. Wondered if they were still in the Green or if they had wandered off somewhere. He felt even more guilry, but he attempted to quell it with the thought that May was safe. He had had to do it himself. He hadn't had time to get them.
It wasn't working.
He had had to do it himself. Suddenly he thought of something that he needed to do. Something crucial. Why did he have to do it himself? Hadn't someone been helping him at the start? Why had he stopped?
Ash's hands clenched. He had felt numb for a moment. Emotions were weird that way. Once they went to high, enough of a shock and they turned off. But now it came rushing back with full force. Maybe he only needed something to take all the anxiousness out on, some way to vent the experience.
Drew opened his eyes.
The room was spinning, spinning like a top. He admired the colors. So much yellow, hints of brown They looked good that way. Mixing like the cake batter he had watched his neighbor make her son for his birthday once. She had been nice. Had his mother ever done that for him? He couldn't remember.
Suddenly he realized what he was doing. Laying on his back and admiring a spinning ceiling. But why? Why was the room spinning? And why . . . when had he fallen asleep?
He shook his head, willing a sudden headache away when the room continued to spin. After a moment it stopped and he sat up, slowly blinking as he cleared his vision. When finally he could sit up without feeling like he was going to fall down again, he calmly looked around his room. It looked normal, because it was normal of course. But what . . . what was wrong with it?
The confusion hit him full force as he woke fully. This was . . . familiar. What had happened? Why was he inside? When had he gotten there? He shivered, spiders crawling up his back as if a presence had moved beside him. He spun around and came up empty just as a knock came from the door.
He jumped and after a few moments, moments that still felt as though he was being watched, gulped. He stared longer than he felt he should of, and then heard a voice on the other side of the door.
"I know you're in there! Answer the door!"
The words hit him before the voice did and he found himself shaking. 'Why am I-?' He raised his hands and wrapped them around himself, incredulous about himself. 'What's wrong with me?'
"Open the door. I need to talk to you."
Drew stared at the door, feeling eyes on his neck, and dropped his hands. 'It's just Ash.' He took a calming breath, willing away paranoia. Nothing was wrong. "It's Ash," he muttered. And though they weren't friends, they were on somewhat friendly terms. His feeling countered what he knew, and he tried to raise his knowledge above the fear he felt.
He quenched it and rose, heading to the door and opening it. He was met with a glaring Ash.
Ash stared at him, his ire rising as Drew stared cluelessly at him, looking confused and just the opposite to his regular self.
Now that he was there, Ash had no idea what to say. Oh, there were plenty of things he wanted to say, but what?
The more he stared at Drew the more angry he felt. He didn't notice the change in Drew. Didn't feel that something was out of place. Not only in Drew, but in him.
Drew spoke. Same expression, matching confused tone, and Ash snapped.
"What's your pr-"
Drew hit the ground .
"You-" Ash shook and Drew stared at him in shock.
Beneath the anger Ash was confused. He was angry, but he hadn't been this angry. What had happened?
Finally Drew reacted. "What is your problem? What-"
"May's in the hospital."
Drew froze.
"You . . . You. . . Ugh! You were supposed to be helping me! You were supposed to find her! But you just leave it on me? Let me make this clear, I don't care if I ever see you again. I don't care that you didn't find her. I don't need you. I don't care! But May-" Ash stopped and stared, only now taking in Drew's reaction. To Drew it seemed that he was staring through him, not really looking at him.
Ash stopped and bowed his head, the fist he had used shaking beside him. Drew didn't know what to say.
"Why is she in the hospital?" he finally whispered.
Ash blinked. His next word was deliberate, well emphasized. "What?"
"Why is she in the hospital?"
Ash took in his expression. The same one he had seen when he had entered. Apprehension, and fear, and curiosity combined. It was so not like Drew that it led him to the conclusion. Was he acting? Ash's hands shook. "I was hoping you could tell me?
Drew blinked, his brows coming together in deeper confusion. Ash's teeth came together, grinding painfully. "Don't you dare look at me like that! You knew where she was! You knew well before I did! You gave me that note! You were the one who directed me to her! Why didn't you already help her?"
Drew just stared at him, mouth open. "What are you talking about?"
Ash couldn't believe it. He didn't know what to feel. He was so overwhelmed with emotion that he could hardly see him. How could he ask? How could he just stare at him like that? Like he could somehow not know what he was talking about?
Drew rose, touched his cheek, winced and whispered dangerously, "I think you'd better leave."
Ash's entire body shook. He was getting nowhere. He was so helpless he couldn't stand it. Drew was right. He needed to leave, needed to leave before he did something he would forever regret.
"If you ever come near May again. . ." Ash looked Drew strait into the eye so he would know that with no lack of certainty, he meant what he said, ". . . you'll regret it."
Drew leaned against the door, mind spinning. He should have asked. Why didn't he ask? Should he go to May? Would she want him to? Why was she in the hospital?
He had felt almost pushed to get Ash out of his room. He was still shaking from the overwhelming fear he had felt, the eyes watching him.
Now more than ever he had to admit.
Something was definately wrong.
Should he go to May?
A/N This is a little rushed and unfinished, but I figure an incomplete update is better than no update at all. I'm really sorry for the long wait and I'll try to update more frequently. Hope you enjoyed it!
