8. In the Name of Love

Sam was not looking forward to this.

Since Dean was nowhere to be found the next morning, (according to Piper, he was 'pobably going to fly like a birdy,' whatever that meant) it had fallen on Sam to drive their spontaneous addition into town.

Castiel refused to be left behind.

Piper sat in the front seat, in between Castiel and Sam. In the daylight, her features were easier to see. She was a petite thing with large, strangely colored eyes (they were a very light blue that was almost gray) and a bright smile. Sam guessed her age made it easier for her to continue smiling. She just wasn't old enough to understand what had happened. She was wearing the same clothes from the night before, overalls with a warm yellow t-shirt. Piper liked yellow and said as much. She had spent the morning, after Castiel showed up and reassured her that she was not alone in an unfamiliar house, gathering any yellow trinket she could find around Bobby's living room and piling it in the center of the worn red rug. They'd stopped her when she reached for a golden-bound book of nasty spells.

Now, she was content peering out at the road, excited to be in the front seat. "Where's Dean, Castle?" she asked for what had to be the billionth time.

Castiel apparently had more patience than Sam. He answered her question with the same sincerity each time. "Dean is busy, Piper. He couldn't help us take you to your new home."

Piper didn't seem to thrilled with the 'new home' idea but hadn't really put up a fuss yet. She focused on Dean instead and sighed disappointedly. "He can catch up?"

Castiel frowned. "Catch up to us? No, I don't think so. We have his car."

Which was a good point, actually. When Sam had got a hold of him on the phone, Dean told him he was fine, piss off, so Sam wasn't exactly worried, just curious where his brother could have gone without the car.

Piper rolled her eyes, a funny move on a six-year-old. "Doesn't need a car, silly."

Sam glanced at her and cocked his head. "What do you mean, Piper?"

But Piper only gave him a look. A look like she wasn't sure if he was joking with her or not. Finally, she turned away and pointed out the window at something that caught her eye. She laughed and made Castiel look at it too.

Sam suppressed a smile at Castiel's funny way of handling her. She wanted to crawl all over him, but Castiel somehow got her to sit still with a pat on the head or something of the like. It wouldn't have worked on any other child, but Piper listened and sat. It seemed to surprise Castiel most of all. Piper was unique. Sam wondered how much time Castiel had spent with human children. Not much.

Then again, neither had Sam or Dean. Or, well, Dean took care of Sam when he was a kid, but that was different. They were brothers.

They pulled into a parking lot across the street from "Center for Human Services" and Sam's dread increased. A man bicycled past, and, to Sam's slight amusement, flipped the place off as he curved around a corner. These places were bundles of hurt and sadness and broken, jagged pieces. He didn't blame the cyclist. Sam hated it. It wasn't anything they'd done, really, but there was always the threat hanging over his head when he was a kid; the threat that someone would realize their Dad was gone for weeks and weeks and they had to steal food when they ran out and that sometimes they wondered if someday he wouldn't come back. If someone found out, they'd have had a one-way ticket into one of these places, both Sam and Dean were very aware. Even if Dean would have denied it until his skin turned blue. John Winchester loved his kids. He just needed revenge more. Sam knew he was separated enough emotionally to recognize this and Dean was not and that was just how things were.

Sam guessed the fear must have traveled into adulthood without him noticing and now it was coming around to bite him in the arse.

He exhaled and shook away the threads of illogical anxiety. "What now?" he asked Castiel

Castiel was very still. "They can't connect us to the murder of-"

"Yes," Sam interrupted. He looked down pointedly at Piper, who stared at them innocently. Maybe it was not a good idea to talk about-

"It's okay," Piper said. "I know you got the demon that looked like Auntie. That's your job."

Sam blinked in surprise. Apparently, the kid was more observant than he thought. "That's right. It's our job. That's why we can't let anyone see us with you. Because, they don't know it was a demon."

Piper thought about this. Suddenly, her face crumbled. "I want to stay with Castle."

A ghost of a smile lifted Cass's lips. He patted her on the head again. "You can't stay with us, Piper. We do dangerous things. You could get hurt."

"I stay inside car," Piper replied. "Dean says it's safe in the car."

Castiel shook his head. "Not safe enough, Piper."

The little girl's eyes continued to plead, but she did not cry. Not yet, anyway. Piper looked toward the stone building with an air of resignation, and Castiel opened the side door. He got out, and Piper scooted after him. Quickly, she held up her hand. Castiel took it. They walked side by side across the road, their height differences almost comical, and stopped by a little planter near the building but out of sight of any cameras. How innocent they looked from a distance. No one would ever know just by looking that they were a little girl orphaned by demons and a former angel. Castiel crouched down to look her in the eye. It was too far away for Sam to see their faces, but it was obvious this was goodbye.

Sam sighed and drummed his thumbs on the top of the steering wheel. He just wanted to go home.

Dean was always the one who was 'bad with emotions', but to be honest, Sam didn't think he was very good at this stuff either.

Castiel smiled at the little girl even though it hurt. A lot. He wondered why he'd gotten attached to her so quickly. And he was attached. If he wasn't, it wouldn't be this hard. Then again, Castiel thought he knew why. She so tiny and helpless and pure and trusting and he'd saved her when she needed to be saved. This was a little victory. One little sign. He'd saved Piper without a gun or a sword or his Grace. Just Castiel.

Just Cass.

And weren't those trusting eyes, staring up at him with more adoration than he ever deserved the most beautiful things he'd ever seen?

Castiel crouched so he could look her in the eye. "You have to go in by yourself now, Piper. Can you do that? Just go up to the nice people and tell them you're… alone. Tell them you need help. They will help you." A thought crossed his mind, and he dug in his pocket. "Here. This will keep you safe from any more demons." He handed Piper a small, anti-possession charm on a necklace. "Wear this all the time, but try to not let anyone see it." Piper took it and placed it around her neck. Castiel tucked it under her shirt and nodded approvingly. "There. All safe."

Piper frowned and crossed her little arms. "You help me."

Castiel suppressed a sigh. "Yes, but we're…" He thought about what Dean said the night previous. "We're not fit to take care of you. You have to be very brave. And I know you are very brave because you were last night, weren't you?"

Piper thought about this. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes and a shot of panic had Castiel take her by the shoulders gently. He had no idea what he would do if she started to cry. Piper sniffed. She wiped her nose and suddenly hugged Castiel tighter than he thought possible for such a small being. She wiped her eyes on his shoulder and sniffed again into his clothes. "Can you a'least visit?"
Castiel smiled at this. He didn't know how children were supposed to act at this age, but if he could have guessed, Piper was a very clever, observant child. "I will try to visit you, but it will be our secret. Alright, Piper?"

Piper pulled back and nodded. "Pinky promise?"

"What?"

She held up her pinky and giggled, probably at his expression. She lifted up his hand and linked his pinky with her own. Castiel cocked his head. A… strange human custom. "Pinky promise you'll visit?"

Castiel had no idea why linking the smallest appendage widst promising made anything more substantial, but it seemed to hold weight for the child. He nodded gravely. "Pinky, um, pinky promise."

With that, Piper hugged him one last time, Castiel stood, and she skipped down the sidewalk and through the glass door. She cast him one last look, a smile, and then the door shut behind her.

There. It was done.

Castiel's shoulders slumped.

He shouldn't feel this… damaged. He hardly knew the child. She would go off to have a good life, probably. It was one night.

One night of taking care of the child he saved.

This was beyond illogical.

He forced himself to walk back to the Impala.

Sam was inside with a vice-like grip on the wheel. He hardly even moved when Castiel got in and shut the door.

Finally, Castiel let himself exhale. If being human had taught himself anything thus far, it was that loving hurt. It hurt a lot.

Was it worth it?


AN: ANGST FOR DAAAYYS PEOPLE I AM NOT EVEN SORRY. Poor Piper :'(. Please leave a review for our little angels.