II – LIVING
It started with a song.
The soft, singsong melody of the words was beyond him. He could only hear the soft whispering voice of the woman singing.
He was… somewhere close. Somewhere warm. The field beyond in his vision was a sketch of a grassland with a blue sky, a tree, and mountains in the distance. The warm sun was beating down on his face.
…But things were moving slowly, jerkily, like an animation played at half speed.
"Na…na..na…."
There was just enough power in the voice to hear the tone the woman was using as she was singing. It was…..!
Shinji's head jerked backwards and upward.
Only a pair of eyes looked down at him.
"Gha!" He gasped sharply, bolting upright in the darkened room.
Shinji panted in the darkness, sweat on his body, and looked up. Realizing this wasn't his apartment he let himself fall back on to the bed. "Another unfamiliar ceiling…"
He rolled back and tried to get some sleep, but it wouldn't come immediately. He was wondering what exactly he had just seen in that dream… and why the voice sounded so familiar…
VIII
Hazards
It would be a while before Tokyo-03 was habitable again.
It wasn't just the horrible pool of alien blood or the evil stench coming out of the morbid well formed out of the Angel's bore-hole. There was a great concern about whether areas of the city had become irradiated because of the PHASER beam. NERV was still drawing up a plan of action on how to deal with the structures showing positive signs of harmful radiation. Fortunately all of the high-rise structures of Tokyo-03 were still secured below-ground.
In the end officials told the citizens of Tokyo-03 it would be another day before they were allowed to revisit their homes.
Shinji was one of the few, fortunate ones not to be required to take up residence in an emergency shelter to the south. He was allowed on base. As he thought about it though, he couldn't find a justifiable excuse for Hikari to miss him in the shelters with the other citizens of Tokyo-3. She would be looking, Shinji knew. It comforted him to know that someone… missed him. He couldn't recall any other time in his life when someone felt like that about him. He liked the idea.
He was still mystified why he wasn't allowed to shelter with his parents though. They hadn't even come to see him- or congratulate him- since the mission yesterday! Then again after the firing and the winding-down of the operation there was little time for anything else but packing down and sleeping. Shinji was still shaking from the experience… his first battle with an Angel.
And he had saved the world. He still didn't know how he felt about that.
Feeling cooped up in a room too pristine and prepared for him, Shinji left his temporary quarters and started out for the rest of the base. He wasn't alone here- other members of NERV forced to evacuate their surface-side homes had taken up lodgings in this previously abandoned area of the base. He wondered why this was, what it was built f-
"Gah!"
The next thing he knew, he was on the floor.
"Sorry oh sorry…Shinji!"
Shinji looked up, a hand still on his head from rubbing the sore spot. Maya was there, though not in uniform.
"I'm sorry Shinji I didn't see you! Damned blind corners," She stood with a hand outstretched, offering it to him. Shinji took it and stood up, thanking her with a nod. He looked at the colored section on the wall with the writing denoting the function of the block, 'QUARTERS, BLOCK 5C.'
"What was this place for anyway?" Shinji asked, "My place feels like a hotel room."
Maya sighed. "The residential block here was originally built to house the construction workers who built this place. Nobody ever had a need to tear them down so…" she shrugged. "Good for us, huh?"
"Couldn't we bring the people from Tokyo-03 down here…oh," He hesitated.
"Classified, Shinji," Maya waved a finger. "Besides," she added with a note of sadness, "I don't think there's enough room even in these blocks."
"I see." Shinji looked down.
Maya perked up again and asked, "Where ya going?"
"Oh I uh…" He turned his gaze, "I-I wanted to walk around… where are you going?"
"Oh..ahmm…" Maya blushed a little, "I was stopping by to see someone."
"Me?" Shinji asked.
"Me." Another voice said, making Shinji turn around. A man was standing behind him in the bend Shinji cleared only moments before.
He had never seen this man before. But Maya had. "Ah! Aoba!"
'Aoba' was wearing the same uniform that Maya had during the synch tests. This person was a NERV staffer- likely in the same department as Maya.
The woman went on, "Why are you in uniform? We were supposed to have lunch!"
Aoba rubbed his head. "I got called in early. I tried calling you-"
"You did?" Maya said, pulling out her cell phone. She opened it, and then did a little jump as she realized it was off. "Oops…"
"I'm really sorry," Aoba said, walking around Shinji, "I'll make it up to you- how about dinner?"
"I go on duty at 1730 hours…"
"What? Well, how about a compromise then?"
Maya thought about that. "Lun…er?"
"Luncher. At 1300. I'll see if I can sneak out around then."
She gave him a hug. "All right. Promise me!"
"I promise." He said, releasing from her. He looked at Shinji. "A pleasure to meet you mister Ikari. Thank you, for what you did yesterday."
Shinji found himself blinking in surprise. "N-No problem…"
Aoba smiled then gave a lingering look at Maya with that grin as he started off into the base.
Maya, glancing at Shinji again, got an impish grin and called after Aoba, "If you break your promise I'm gonna take Shinji to dinner instead!"
"What?" He replied from down the hall, catching Maya's snickering face.
Shinji wasn't sure how to take that. He found his heart racing at the prospect of actually dating a…. rather attractive woman. Even if she was older. His brain was getting carried away with the thought, but he couldn't help it.
Maya turned back to him and saw his blushing face while he stared into space. "Oh dear…" she sighed.
Suddenly the image of Ritsuko's knowing stare popped unbidden into her head. She sighed.
Shinji, for his part, was snapped out of his stupor by seeing her troubled. "Uh… Maya, are you okay?"
"I'm fine." She replied. Taking in a breath and sighing it out to regain her composure, she stated, "Well, there go my plans for the moment. How about I join you on that walk?"
"Uehr…" Shinji uttered, suddenly feeling put on the spot and at a loss for words. An idea occurred to him though.
In some ways her office was a retreat. Ritsuko had, once, felt it hard to socialize with people. The computer terminal, stored files, everything accumulated since her early days of working here had all given her some kind of security and barrier against the outside world that she could use to keep people away.
She noticed admitting this to herself on the hour she finished the report on the firing of the PHASER and all the things surrounding its operation. She was still looking at the satellite map showing the gash that almost bisected the island.
There was a particular knock on the door, followed by a rude entry. Knowing that knock, she didn't get defensive or prepare herself to deal with an official. It was the other half of NERV Senior operations at this level, coming in. "Whew." Misato sighed against the door leading into Ritsuko's office.
Ritsuko stirred her cup of coffee. "Long night?"
Misato made an exaggerated stagger across the office to the nearest wheeled chair. It was the one with the broken fixture that let the occupant recline further than it normally would. Perfect for Misato Katsuragi. She collapsed in it unceremoniously and pulled at the zipper on her top a little, as if to air out. Ritsuko had seen this behavior before. "Who was it this time?"
"Your other half." Misato grumbled.
Ritsuko's grasp on her coffee cup tightened a little. She was aware of the 'counterpart' analogy that was sometimes thrown around in NERV: Gendo the counterpart of his wife Yui; Misato the 'action' counterpart to Ritsuko's 'science'. But there could be only one person Misato was talking about at the moment. Given what happened in the past few days, it would not be easy. "What did Kyoko say?"
"She wanted to have your head on a pike for allowing Ikari to go out of control."
Ritsuko was puzzled for a moment as she recalled the events of yesterday. "The rescue." She realized.
"Apparently she pressed the commanders for Shinji's mental instability on…oh how did she put it," Misato put a hand to her forehead as she tried to remember the exact phrasing, "Conducting a highly dangerous and irresponsible rescue attempt and endangering the life of a pilot in critical condition."
Ritsuko watched Misato sigh out the stress on that one. The woman turned to Ritsuko, apparently with a new thought on her mind. "What's the kid really like, in your opinion?"
"Shinji?" Ritsuko said, then set down her coffee cup, "Not much to tell. Quiet, reserved…" she stood, "Likes to please… a good boy. Learns quickly."
"I heard you and your staff have been specifically handling his training." Misato kicked off her high heels and tucked her heels on to the seat of her chair, "Not bad. He didn't break and run like I'd expect from a greenie."
Ritsuko finished pouring a new cup of coffee. "Shinji's taking this remarkably well, considering." She turned and advanced to Misato with the cup out, "I still remember when he arrived here. I have to confess," She sat down in her chair, "I didn't expect him to last this long either." She picked up her cup, "But he does have a grain of responsibility in him. He was always prompt in notifying me about any delays or experiments in the testing schedule." She swirled her cup, "You could say he's also won the hearts of some of my staff."
Misato didn't pick up on the sentimentality in Ritsuko's tone. "Cute kid." She said after that, sipping her coffee. She sighed, and uttered under her breath, "I could really use some booze instead. I don't really want to face all those damage claims sober."
"Not from my office." Ritsuko replied. She tilted her head and asked in one tone lower, "So, what was the result of the Kyoko debate?"
Misato sighed. "I just told her Shinji would have done what any other human being would have done in the same situation. Clearly the Eva was better for emergency action on another Evangelion. Besides, I figured if he was doing something dangerous you would have overruled him."
"I have a firm belief in Shinji's abilities." Ritsuko said.
"Well, you ARE his advocate." Misato said and sipped her coffee.
That put Ritsuko in an unusual feeling. "Advocate?"
Misato huffed a laugh behind her cup and said after lowering it, "Kyoko went on a tirade before an actual conference began. She accused you of coddling Shinji like some kind of surrogate son or something- to the Director's face! I think she was trying to gain leverage with the commander and Yui because Shinji's their son, or that you were playing favorites." She shrugged, "Yui didn't seem to care though."
Ritsuko nodded, but the odd feeling didn't go away.
Misato drained her coffee in one gulp. "Welp," She said, sliding her feet off the chair and back into the high-heels, "Those reports aren't going to do themselves." She stood, walking to drop off the coffee cup on the desk, "Tell Ikari he did good, from me."
"Why don't you tell him yourself?" Ritsuko asked, turning to watch Misato leave the room, "Maybe you can make it a proper introduction. Other than giving him orders, I haven't seen you make a proper introduction."
"I don't do well with kids," Misato said with a dismissive wave, "Besides, I'm really too busy. Later!"
Misato's shadow disappeared from the glass panes next to the door into Ritsuko's office.
Ritsuko leaned back, feeling now the quiet in her office and the soft humm of the computer. She didn't look at the photograph, but as Misato's recital of Kyoko's accusation rang in her head she felt the eyes in the picture staring at her again. Ritsuko did her best to force that thought out of her head as she continued with the post-operation report.
Shinji felt very awkward.
Maya tried to reassure him. "Shinji, if you're going to see a girl in the hospital you HAVE to get her a get-well present!"
"B-Buh…But…." He sighed.
In his hands was a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolate. With the lack of an immediate destination, Maya had given him one when he explained his intentions. "She'll love it Shinji!"
Somehow Shinji didn't think so, but he didn't think Asuka would mind the present. He actually had his doubts if Asuka was still in the building or not… she seemed healthy enough when he last spoke to her. He was a little releived to know that she was here, on the last day of being held over on recovery.
…Perhaps she would like the gifts, since she readily agreed to keep the cassarole he cooked for her. However, Asuka's reaction was uncertain since there was no telling how she could react with a mother like-
Kyoko.
Maya had gently pushed Shinji through the door after the nurse had opened it, hoping to see the young man present his gifts, but instead she let out a very unpleasant gasp at the sight of Kyoko Zeppelin in her daughter's recovery ward.
The Doctor dropped Asuka's arm, where she had been taking her daughter's pulse, but her head and eyes were fixed on Shinji Ikari. The stare was so intense it felt like Kyoko's gaze was drilling through his eyes and into his skull. He felt himself start to whiten.
"Out." Kyoko commanded simply.
"I..buh…I…"
Kyoko had advanced with a claw-like hand out to grab the things out of Shinji's hands. She racked them out of his grasp and on to the floor. The other hand pushed him out of the ward with unexpected force. Shinji couldn't believe this was happening, and it all felt very surreal as Kyoko pushed so hard it bawled him over. He collapsed on his back in the hall, regaining his focus on her just as she slammed the door in a punctual, final, way.
She stared down at the boy at first, but started with Maya. "Lieutenant, you are never to bring this boy here again. Understood!"
"Yes ma'am!" Maya answered, snapping into rigid attention.
Kyoko stared down at Shinji again who was still on the floor, Shinji's hand on his cheek he hit on the way down.
"Listen to me Third," Kyoko toned, "On my direct order as Medical authority of this NERV installation, you are suspended from further contact with the second children as of this time by reason of adversely influencing her performance. Further contact with the child will result in expulsion and possible criminal charges-"
A protest was on Shinji's mind in defiance of these wrongful accusations. He challenged as he stood, "But I didn't do anyth-!"
Kyoko suddenly seized him by the collar propelled him against the back wall, making both Maya and the nurse recoil at the forcefulness the mother was exhibiting. "You are dragging my daughter down, you little shit. I don't give a fuck if Akagi's swooning over you like some wannabe baby-momma or that your parents are my superiors. To me, you are nothing but a fucking amateur who's waaay in over his head. If you ever enter my daughter's presence again I will personally make your life hell for you. Stay. Away. From. Asuka."
She dropped him and whirled back to the door, opened it, and then closed it with a slam.
Shinji collapsed on the floor again feeling completely stunned. Nobody had ever been so physically violent with him, and he couldn't help his tears beginning to water. He was only vaguely aware of Maya's hands helping him up and leading him out of the hospital wing. He only got worse the further they went from Asuka's recovery ward.
"What did I do…?" He moaned, "What did I did I do?"
He was playing over in his head the assault, the door opening, and before… the look on Asuka's face.
It was pure shock.
Ritsuko was at a loss for words an hour later. Shinji had his head bowed. Misato seemed disinterested.
They were in the office of the Ikaris. Yui was working on a separate terminal at the far end of the desk while Gendo faced the three across it. Fuyutsuki was at his side.
"In light of recommendations from Doctors Ikari and Zeppelin," Gendo said, "We have decided to assign Lieutenant-General Katsuragi as the Ward for the Second Child, since in the opinion of Doctor Zeppelin the boy requires parental oversight."
Ritsuko suppressed a quiet note of outrage at the hypocrisy of the Ikari's. Then again, who was she to demand what was best for a child? The only thing she could do was argue reason on Shinji's behalf- she didn't want to see him suffer. She turned her head, "Doctor Ikari-"
"Doctor," Gendo interrupted her, "You will no longer appeal to Doctor Ikari regarding this rivalry between you and Doctor Zeppelin. Since you two cannot cooperate in regard to pilot handling I am forced to make a final decision on the matter. The boy will be separated from the second children and placed in the care of Lieutenant-General Katsuragi, per official recommendation by the medical department."
Ritsuko stiffened. If Yui wouldn't listen… "Then I must state for the record that Kyoko Zeppelin's actions and recommendations are totally arbitrary. As the department head of the technical branch and supervisor of Evangelion operations, I can see no technical reason why Kyoko Zeppelin would suggest isolation between pilots two and three. I can only believe that her motivations for such an action are of malice and vindictive feelings against Shinji's performance and his influence over her daughter."
"Considering Kyoko suggests that influence is negative, Doctor," Fuyutuski said, "Then it would seem you two are in agreement."
"…That's not what I meant. I am saying that Kyoko Zeppelin is using her position of authority to needlessly antagonize the Third Children for personal reasons. I can find no other reason for her suggestion other than this. I can bring testimony from others-"
"Doctor," Yui interrupted, the typing stopped. Shinji and Ritsuko looked over at her, but the woman was only giving a level stare. Ritsuko suddenly remembered the last time she stepped into Yui's office.
"I will have no further bickering between the two of you." Gendo said, "Unless you bring conclusive scientific evidence to me stating otherwise, the official ruling from command is to place the Third Children in the custody of Lt. General Katsuragi. Furthermore, no more intrusions into the operation or handling of pilot health, mental or medical, will be tolerated. Our priority is the maximum efficiency of the Evangelion units- not fostering warm relations between the members of the organization. If I find you telling Kyoko how to do her job again, we will have to reconsider your position here."
Ritsuko opened her mouth, but Gendo cut her off, "Do I make myself clear?"
Ritsuko stared into the eyes beyond the glasses, but they didn't move. There was no sympathy from the faces of the department heads. "Perfectly." She sighed in defeat.
"C-Can I say something?" Shinji asked, his head still bowed.
Yui didn't resume typing.
Gendo turned his head to face his son. "What is it?"
"R-Respectfully…sir…" Shinji swallowed, trying to picture himself addressing a super-strict instructor, "I-I don't know what I did to cause this. It would be easier for me if I understood why-"
"Doctor Zeppelin feels you are distracting her daughter from her duties. We are therefore putting you under supervision to ensure you do not bother her again."
"But I wasn't!" Shinji protested, raising his head at last, "I didn't! I just brought her dinner one time and tried to get to know her!"
"Ikari," Fuyutsuki said, leaning forward a little, "Pilot Langly is under a strict training program under her mother's guidance. Deviation from this plan upsets her program."
"But she's living on coffee and Raman! Studying herself to death!"
"Irrelevant." Gendo grunted, "You will be moved to the estate of Lieutenant-General Katsuragi. You are not to concern yourself any longer with the Second Children in matters other than piloting and battlefield cooperation."
Shinji blinked, starting, and then looked down. "I… Dad, couldn't I move in with you? Or mom?"
"We are very busy Shinji." Yui replied.
"I-I won't get in the way." Shinji said, a plea as his eyes were lowered to the ground.
"You will move in with Katsuragi." Gendo said, releasing his hands and placing them palm-down on the desk, "The matter is closed. Dismissed."
Ritsuko and Misato stood. Shinji didn't move. "Come on Shinji," Ritsuko said softly, putting a hand on the boy's shoulder and guiding him out of the office. Yui resumed typing.
On the elevator ride back to the rest of the base, Shinji was very quiet in the lift.
"Welp," Misato said, "Now that I got little Ikari to take back home with me, I'm gonna call it an early day. At least I can put off all that paperwork-"
"Shinji still has some things in his apartment." Ritsuko interrupted, remembering reading the assignment papers placing Shinji in that dismal apartment block. But then, was Misato's place really better?
Misato waved this off though, "We can stop over and pick it up! It won't be a problem."
Ritsuko's gaze remained level with Misato. The Lt. General blinked. "What's that look for?"
"Don't scare him."
"What do you mean by that? I'm perfectly harmless Ritsuko! It's not like I have sharp knives or mean dogs at my place."
Ritsuko just looked back down at Shinji. The boy hadn't moved or said a word. "Shinji," She said, "Everything is going to be fine."
The words sounded hollow, even to her.
Ritsuko had parted from Shinji and Misato at another junction to return to her office. She found her thoughts lingering on Shinji though, and what kind of… reception he would receive at Misato's place. Ritsuko had been there once or twice… it was an acquired taste, living there.
What was she concerned about? Shinji was a grown boy. If he handled Evangelion combat, he could handle Misato's place…
Why was she worrying about Shinji's welfare?
Her office was cold and still as she entered. She walked to her desk, sat in front of the computer terminal, and caught sight of the Photograph again.
There was no reason it should have. It was always there, in the plastic frame it had been set in years ago, in the same place on the desk where it had been put as a gift. Ritsuko had never moved it, nor had it ever (to her knowledge) been moved. But now her attention was being drawn to the photograph.
She tried to work, pulling up the maintenance logs on the Evangelions and staying clear of the testing schedules. Focus on the machine, not the pilots. That was her duty. Close down, shut up… and…
Ritsuko sighed and looked back at the photograph now, facing it.
It was a picture with many faces, all the close friends on the base many, many years ago. At the eve of the first of the tests. Everything was so optimistic then.
Her mother had been very proud of her, and she proud of her mother. Until…
"Fine!" Ritsuko hissed bitterly to nobody still alive, "But I won't apologize. You were still a terrible mother."
Shinji should have been used to fear by now, being at the NERV facility and asked to drive around a hideous humanoid monster-robot and kill equally horrible things straight out of nightmares. Kyoko Zeppelin was another demon now in his recent thoughts. But once on inside the car of Lt. General Katsuragi he was introduced to a new terror he thought he had mercifully left behind at his aunt and uncle's place.
Misato Katsuragi was a demented madwoman.
That was the only explanation for her driving habits he could think of, as well as the fact that the woman was driving a rickety, bust-up car. It just didn't make sense. The woman had a death wish, and she didn't care who she took with her. Shinji was screaming most of the time on the ride, being jerked around in the car as Misato drove wildly through the streets of Tokyo-03. There was a brief reprieve when they pulled up to the security checkpoint at the edge of town, but Shinji was too panting and winded from constant screaming to really grasp anything that was being said.
"Where you headed?"
"Housing Block 14C. Gotta pick up the kid's stuff!"
The guard spoke into his radio. He eventually nodded, and said, "yeah that area's been cleared already. Good luck though- that's one of the places that got pasted."
"Welp, all the more fun for us!" Misato replied, gave the guard the victory fingers, and hit the gas. Shinji screamed again for the second "joyride" through the empty streets of Tokyo-03. The guard merely shook his head as the woman departed into the distance- no use trying to nail a NERV officer for a speeding ticket in THIS city.
"Isn't this great?" Misato screamed over the roar of the engine and the wind rapidly passing the car, "Nobody out here and no cops to nail us! WOO!"
The car screeched through an intersection and Shinji, for a second, almost felt the seat belt let go and release him out of the passenger window (it had no glass). He actually saw the first part of his life flash before his eyes- something he would recall he never felt in the Eva, ever.
Was it possible there was something more frightening than Eva piloting?
He had no time for questions as Misato peeled through another intersection at full speed, leaving tire tracks behind her.
"Welp!" She chirped, "Here we are!"
She saw Shinji staring up at the ceiling however, panting with eyes wide. "Shinji?" She asked.
"Staaaoooppp spinning… ugh." He muttered, leaning forward but missing where he thought he was going. He rebounded, making Misato chuckle with amusement at the winded kid, but unnoticed to Shinji a shade of disappointment crossed her expression as she turned to open her door.
She was around the front of the car by the time Shinji opened the door. He practically fell out of the car. Misato looked down at him with an amused look. "What's the matter, never been on a roller coaster before?"
Truthfully, Shinji tried to avoid them. Despite his aunt and uncle trying to make him "more fun" by subjecting him to such things, it only made him not like them more. During other times he figured this was because he wanted to be able to volunteer before being shaken around. Of course, when he did consider this later, Evangelions once again came as an exception.
That was later. For the present, Shinji was dazed, confused, and uncomfortable. "Wh-Where are we?"
"Your apartment."
Suddenly sober, Shinji stood despite the dizziness, bracing himself on Misato's car as he leaned back up.
They had parked on the street in one of the turn-in spots. It was along the same street that he had come with Asuka for the first time, and at a similar angle which he saw the building for the first time.
"Oh…"
His eyes found Asuka's door.
"C'mon kiddo!" Misato chimed as she clapped a hand on his shoulder, "Let's go get your stuff!"
"O-Okay…" Shinji replied, glancing up at the apartment building one more time before he followed Misato to the stairway on the side of the building.
On the second story Shinji hesitated, looking down the rows to Asuka's door.
Misato hesitated on the steps, but figured out what he was doing. "Shinji," She toned.
He hesitated for a moment more, wondering if he would ever get to see the inside of her room again. "I-I know…" He looked up at Misato, "Asuka has one of my cooking pots though… I let her borrow it to save the dinner I made for her."
"Oh," Misato said, hesitating, "Well… I can talk to Doctor Zeppelin and have it given back to you-"
"No, it's all right," Shinji grunted and started up the steps, "She can keep it. I really don't care. Her mom would probably just dump out the casserole anyway. Then it's back to Coffee and cheap ramen…"
"Shinji," Misato said when Shinji reached the top of the bend. He turned around. She went on, "I know it's hard for you, but it's the commanders orders. Besides, Asuka might have special personal needs that only her mom-"
"I know!" Shinji barked from the top of the stairs, "She has to study and nothing can get in the way of that! But I wanted to be a friend and let her eat something more than instant ramen like a regular human being!"
Misato frowned at his retort, but also heard him say as he kept going up, "I was just trying to be her friend… why am I being punished for that?" Frowning a little, she followed him up the steps.
A streak of indignation had finally arisen in Shinji, not just from the injustice of being evicted without facing his accusor but because he was being outed from a place he was just looking forward to living in. Strange as it was, he thought as he approached his floor, he had actually been looking forward to having the place to himself. He didn't have to rely on anyone else, he didn't have to set his schedule for anyone else, he-
There were boxes on this floor, by a door. His things!
Shinji only managed to take five running steps to them before he realized some of boxes were deformed…as if…
"Shinji don't touch them!" Misato called from behind.
The stench only confirmed his fears. "Oh no…" He whispered breathlessly, looking over the boxes of which some he packed personally. In some cases the contents were spilled… it now looked more like a pile of refuse than a boy's entire life up to 14 years of age.
It wasn't just on the boxes. His door, and a good stretch of the hallway was covered in the alien blood. He examined the wall, seeing parts of it splotched off like spray from a water hose… and realized why he hadn't seen this from the street. Apparently the cleanup crew wasn't aware anyone lived here and did only a… trivial job. They washed down only the façade of the building and didn't bother to clear out all the walk-ways.
"Who the fuck do you think this is!" Misato was screaming into her cell phone, "Fine, I'll tell you, I'm the woman who writes out all those goddamned damage and cleanup reports! Now if you don't come back here and do your goddamned job PROPERLY I'm gonna have some skins! I need a full decontamination crew here- there are personal items that need to be salvaged. No- No I don't want to hear your bullshit excuses- as far as you're concerned, it's NERV property you'll be cleaning. Got it! Get over here, Now, or we'll see about making some 'budget cuts' in your direction." She snapped her phone shut and sighed.
Shinji wasn't paying attention. He was staring at the shipping notice on the front of the boxes, able to make out 'EXPEDIENCY' on the front. "They sent it direct…" he uttered.
As fast as possible. Everything. So they could be rid of him.
It was not unexpected, but the reminder of his relatives… eagerness to be rid of him only amplified the destruction of his personal belongings. And now, strangers would be combing through all of his private things, examining them, scrutinizing them, making sure they were either free of contaminants or too corrupted to be saved. Every little thing of his, private or not.
Others would be, once again, deciding what happens to him.
The fact that an entire hazard team had to be called in made Shinji guess simple water and soap wouldn't do the job.
Steps behind him. "Shinji," a hand on his shoulder, "The de-con people will be here and clean your stuff, ok? Whatever they can save they'll ship to my place."
"Thank you." Shinji said, but in an empty tone.
Misato sighed. "Well, maybe it isn't all bad. Your stuff inside should be safe, right?"
Shinji looked at the doorway that was also covered in angel blood. His life behind it was sealed off from him, along with all the hopes and promises of customizing his own living space. Now he'd have to live to Misato's schedule.
The car ride, if any indication, was already giving Shinji misgivings.
"Anyway, we can't do anything here now and the cleanup crew are going to need space. C'mon, let's go home."
Shinji didn't pick up on her enthusiasm. He just stared at the door and the life that was just starting to be built. Finally he turned away and started for the stairs. Misato followed him.
The car-ride to Misato's place was mercifully short and, to Misato's credit, without the wild-life driving of the first stint. Nothing was said as they drove across the deserted streets… Shinji was too preoccupied thinking about what shape his life would take from now on.
Misato, though, was disappointed. First she's roped into doing this thing for the Ikaris, now the kid won't appreciate what she's trying to do for him, back-talking her in the process? Why didn't command just send him to Ritsu, anyway? Oh, wait, everyone is too busy with other things. Apparently everyone presumes the Battle commander is the one with all the free time.
For some reason Ritsuko's mocking grin came into her head, but she didn't know why. What did that old woman nag her about, anyway?
Before she could make the connection, they were there. "We're here!" She chimed, Shinji's dismay put aside.
Shinji got out of the car and looked up at the apartment complex he would be inhabiting… for now on. It was a little more welcoming of an architecture- with a degree of character in the angled face of the structure and balconies at each of the residences.
Well, maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.
He pulled his backpack out of the car and slung it over his shoulder. He was still wearing the clothes from a few days ago… something of an odd sensation, strangely, after being in his plugsuit for so long. He followed Misato up another new set of stairs and to the front door of an apartment.
"Here we are!" Misato chimed as she unlocked the door.
She pushed the door open and stepped inside. Shinji only made it into the doorway when he saw Misato look down and hesitate. "W-What is it?" He asked her.
Misato flopped her shoes off and strode into the house. Shinji could only listen as he started to take off his own shoes, but heard a man's voice from within the apartment. "Well hello Beautiful"
"What are you still doing here!" Misato demanded in a stern voice, making Shinji pause. He looked down and saw a man's pair of shoes also in the foyer.
Nobody told him that Misato was living with someone… Maybe she…
"Now now, that's not the way to talk. Especially since you were so inviting last night."
Shinji finished pulling his shoes off, and started a cautious trot to the hallway door as he heard the man go on, "What's wrong? Something happen at the base?"
Shinji rounded the corner and was hit with…well… shock. It came on several levels.
The first was that the place was a mess. Beer cans were almost everywhere, as well as plastic bags and discarded insta-meal trays. There was hardly any available counter space anywhere in the house- even the table. The only clean bit of the apartment he could immediately see was the floor.
The second was the stench. It wasn't as hideous or horrendous as the angel blood, but the mixture of what smelled like dried curry and beer immediately assailed his nose with the first few sniffs. There were other smells too, but Shinji could only guess what they were.
The third was the man, who was looking up at Shinji now with a pink bathrobe on. He also had a pair of wineglasses in one hand, and a bottle was in the other.
"Well well Katusragi," The man said after glancing at Shinji, "If you were planning a threesome you should have let me know in advance."
Shinji blinked and started to redden with embarrassment while his thoughts illustrated some frames of what that could be like. He fidgeted at the notion of… sharing to complete strangers.
Misato pushed the man. "Didn't you have things to do!"
"I did," The man said, setting the glasses down on one free spot on the table and hefting the wine bottle, "But I finished them and thought I would make tonight special. I guess you had other plans."
Misato turned, "Oh, this is-"
"Shinji Ikari." The man said.
Shinji's bewilderment was only compounded. It also came with a slice of paranoia. "H-How did you know my name?"
"You're pretty well known in my business," The man replied and tilted his head a little, "The son of Commander and Doctor Ikari, summoned from supposed exile far away and declared an Evangelion pilot without years of training, over other potential candidates. You're a mystery to many."
Shinji didn't like what he was beginning to feel. "W-Who are you?"
Misato grunted while crossing her arms, "Ryoji Kaji… my boyfriend."
"Come now," Kaji said, "Not with so much reluctance. What's the occasion for Shinji being here?"
"He's going to live with us."
"What?" Kaji asked, the smile broken for the first time.
"What?" Shinji echoed, completely unaware that he would be living with two people now.
Misato sighed as she crossed her arms. "I don't like it anymore than you guys do, but it's a commandment from on high. I guess Kyoko's paranoid Shinji will somehow corrupt her daughter with good feeling or something."
Kaji chuckled, "I suppose the good doctor is afraid of Shinji putting the moves on the anointed one, eh? Though… I wonder why he isn't living with his folks? Or Ritsu?" then, to Shinji, "I heard you and Doctor Akagi were getting along."
"W-We are…" Shinji replied, suddenly wishing Ritsuko could have taken him in instead. He turned his head to the counter and thought he saw something entering one of the beer cans. Now he wondered how infested this place was with bugs. It interrupted dwelling on the rejection from his parents, at least.
Though Misato voiced it. "I think Shinji's parents don't want him getting in the way of their work. Seriously, they're the most dedicated people on base… next to Kyoko. I guess the entire base thinks I have too much time on my hands for some reason."
"Ah." Kaji replied. He looked over at Shinji and said, "Well, I suppose a change in plans is in order… and I need a change in clothes. Be right back."
As Shinji watched Kaji leave he suddenly recognized why this was sort of feeling all familiar- from the dishevelment of the place to what Kaji and Misato had said.
It was almost like his aunt and uncle's place.
"All right," Misato said, "Well, this is the kitchen and the living room. The bathroom's through there," She pointed, "And your room is there!" She pointed at another hallway. She planted her hands back on her hips, "It's full of boxes right now because I've used it for storage, but maybe tomorrow we can clean those out."
"I-I might have school tomorrow…" Shinji said. The entire battle against the angel had taken up all weekend.
"Oh right! Do you need a ride?"
"No…"
Misato tilted her head, "What's wrong?"
"N-Nothing…" Shinji replied, feeling the weight of everything starting to tug at him.
His phone suddenly buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and looked at it.
It was Maya.
"Shinji I'm sooo sorry about today!"
He was out on the balcony talking to Maya. The sun had already fallen behind the hills and the sky was nothing but rays of gold.
"I shouldn't have pushed you into that! Now I got you into trouble and kicked out of your place!"
"It's… It's ok," Shinji replied, "I was the one to get you in trouble."
"Nononoo!…ah…" She sighed, "Well, how's the situation at Lt. General Katusragi's place?"
Shinji sighed as he tried to put together his thoughts in a few seconds. Then, "The place is out of control… it's a mess! There's some guy here…"
"Guy? Oh…wait, that's probably Kaji!"
"Does he work at NERV too?"
"No I don't think so… uhm… he came here with Asuka and Doctor Langly before you got here on some assignment. I think he's with the UN. And… I think he and Misato knew each other in college or something. I didn't know he was living there!"
Oh.
"…Is everything all right? She hasn't beaten you or anything has she?" Maya asked, concern clear over the phone.
"No… it's just…" He said wistfully as he watched the last rays of light disappear from the sky, "I miss having a place to myself."
"I understand that Shinji." Maya replied, "But… orders are orders."
"I know." Shinji said, "I just… I don't want to feel like a problem."
"I'm sure you aren't a problem for Lieutenant-General Katsuragi!"
"Even with her boyfriend living here?"
Maya was quiet.
"Yeah."
"I can see where you're coming from Shinji. Is there… anything I can do?"
Shinji wished he could have had his pick of guardians. He hardly knew Misato, why in God's name did his parents entrust him with her? Maybe nobody knew. Maybe it was by whatever criteria that landed him with his aunt and uncle. His eyes lowered to he pavement and he saw a car go by. That did give him an idea. "Yeah… there is something if it isn't a problem."
After ending the call Shinji turned around.
Misato whirled away from the glass and walked away as if nothing had happened. Shinji paused there for a moment as he realized Misato might had heard the entire conversation. Bracing himself for harsh words, he stepped forward to the glass and opened it.
"So, aha," Misato said with a grin, turning around, "Did you have a good…phone call?"
Shinji closed the glass door. "You can drop the act Miss Katsuragi."
"Please call me Misato! Who were you chatting with, your girlfriend?"
"Miss Katsuragi-"
"Look," Misato's demeanor changed suddenly, "I've been trying to be nice to you, impress you, and welcome you into my home. The least you can do is show a little gratitude about it!"
Shinji looked at his phone and lowered both his hand and his head. "I just didn't want to impose on you and mister Kaji-"
"You aren't imposing!"
"Yes I am! Don't lie…" Shinji replied, despair now creeping up his neck, "Just like my aunt and uncle, my parents are dropping me in on your lives and you have to make room for me." he balled his fists, "Well, it's not like I wanted to be here either."
"Ok," Misato uttered with anger gracing her words, crossing her arms as her eyebrows were forked in anger, "If you don't like it I can stick you in the closet you little-"
Shinji broke into a run, headed for the door. Misato swung out a hand but missed, and Shinji bolted for the exit. The phone dropped out of his hand as he scooped up his shoes on the run out. Misato chased him out of the apartment.
"Shinji! SHINJI!" She called, making Shinji run even faster with tears starting to form in his eyes. He just kept running.
Misato tripped on the last few bunch of stairs on the way out and could only watch him disappear down the rest of the stairs, and the sounds of his feet running into the night. "FINE!" She shrilled, "BE THAT WAY!"
Kaji, in the doorway to Misato's apartment, slowly rubbed a palm across his face. The other hand was holding Shinji's cell phone.
She closed the door and exhaled a long-kept sigh of relief, before groping in the dark and finding the light switch to the apartment.
It wasn't much. One room, one kitchen, one shower. To her though, it was everything. Peace, serenity, and self-destiny away from the watchful eye of her mother. The only master here was herself.
Asuka kicked off her shoes, and then staggered across the carpet that ran from the entry into the main living area. This also had a floor carpet that she herself put down to cover the very cold tile. Dropping the pack containing her books by the bed, she reached across it and found the warm desk lamp that was beside her bed and turned it on. After this, she collapsed on the bed and rolled upward to look at the very comforting ceiling and the feeling of security and sovereignty there.
But she felt horrible, despite that safety.
She turned away from the refrigerator in the kitchen, groping for the covers and pushing them down her body to loop them again over her legs. Shivering at how cold the bed was, she waited for her body heat to warm them up and get her away from all this. She closed her eyes.
Shinji's smiling face, presenting the casserole, drifted across her mind. Unbidden, that evening days prior played out in her mind. She didn't want it, but there was nowhere else to go, no other memory she could bear to visit.
Another memory rose to attack her though. It was the instant her mother slammed the door and kicked aside Shinji's presents. "Bastard," Kyoko had snarled auf deutsch, "That's the last interference I'll tolerate from him."
"What's going to happen to him?" Asuka asked as impassively as she could manage.
"He will be removed," Kyoko replied, clicking on a pen-light, "To somewhere someone with nothing better to do can prevent him from interfering with your development. Now open your mouth."
As she did another idea crossed her mind. Instead of Shinji going under supervision… SHE could. SHE could be the one under lock and key… after all, didn't she let him in?
She blotted it out immediately- the thought of sacrificing her hard-gained independence was nearly unthinkable. She remembered the days of living in the same house, unable to escape least the police be called. Being a child progeny and already a test-subject in NERV, she was warned early on that there would be no foster-care or adoption for her should her mother loose control over her- more drastic measures would be necessary. Her mother told her all this on the first day she tried it. She never attempted it again.
But despite all that, and despite shoving the thought to the back of her mind, the fact that she had betrayed Shinji was cemented in her mind. What had he done, except be nice to her? What had he done except be a normal person who cared about her and her health? If anything the fault was hers in letting him in and allowing him to grace her presence.
The end result? Impact on her studies and development, or so her mother claimed. Her grades had fallen a few points because her studying wasn't constant, she had been distracted and allowed to forget.
Another memory surfaced then, as she mulled this over in the bed. The cool feeling in the ambience of the Entry Plug at remembering Shinji's visit… his selfless presentation of his gift. For a moment it felt as if she were safe in the Evangelion, too. It had been a long time since she felt that way in the machine she was being molded to pilot perfectly.
Wasn't that experience worth the minute detriment to her studies? Wasn't the better feeling and higher synch ratios worth Shinji's continued friendship? Wasn't that the point?
It wasn't her mother's opinion. That's all that mattered after all, since she was the scientist and supposed to know such things. Hell, she had been in unit 02 even before Asuka had- She should know, right?
Hearing her mother's voice in her mind she attempted to blot out the rising feeling of sympathy and the resulting knowledge that she had betrayed Shinji for her own interests. After all, what had he done to deserve this except be kind to her? He even gave her that full pot of Ramen to eat for herself, to save her from the thin diet she was eating.
Asuka curled up in the bed, clutching the ragged doll, and forced herself to become selfish at the commandment of her mother. What business did Shinji have to meddle with her anyway? How could the gift of his opinion be of any value to her? Wasn't her grades and work effort more important than friendship?
…Why did Shinji Ikari, who she hardly knew, have to care about her?
There were no tears but her eyes became wet and the night ahead promised to be painful.
Ritsuko suddenly stopped rubbing her hand on her face. "You did what?"
Misato sighed. "Well he was being a little ass all day! Back-talking and being so snobbish and aloof! Anyway, he was whining about something like imposing on Kaji and me and-"
"Kaji?" Ritsuko interrupted, then with emphasis, "Kaji is living at your place? What's he doing there?"
Misato only responded with a sheepish grin.
Ritsuko, eyes widening a little, leaned back in her seat. She composed herself, bringing a hand to her face. The memory of Misato reporting in reeking of perfume returned to her. "I should have known."
"And what's that supposed to mean?" Misato asked, growing indignant.
Ritsuko blinked and then sat upright in her chair. They were in Ritsuko's office, Misato coming here after calling the doctor on Kaji's recommendation. Now Misato was starting to regret it, but really nobody knew anything more about Shinji than Akagi did.
"Shinji is a sensitive teenager," Ritsuko explained, "I imagine he felt pretty awkward about invading the lover's nest your building with Kaji. On Top of this," She added, stopping Misato in mid-motion of issuing a denial. She started tapping off fingers, "He has lost his home, been rejected by his parents, assaulted by Kyoko, lost one of the few friends he was making here of no fault of his own, and as you have told me had most of his possessions ruined. And if I remember your place, it's not the most inviting to unaccustomed guests. To top it off, it seems you never made a warm, proper introduction to him even after I suggested it. You're practically a stranger!"
Misato, hearing all this out, sighed. She sat back against the edge of the desk again, "Like I said, I'm not good with kids."
"No," Ritsuko sighed, "I know what it is. If he arrived months earlier, before the Angel attacks, Kaji wouldn't have been here. I would have been busy with repairs to unit 00, you would have met him at the station, brought him here, and be prepared for it."
"Or if that bitch had stayed in Germany for a few more months," Misato grunted, "Instead of pushing out here with her daughter as if she had something to prove."
"Maybe she does," Ritsuko sighed, and said, "I still think Kyoko's needlessly making a mess of the situation deliberately, hurting Shinji and Asuka. I don't know what she's getting at, but the fact that Shinji pulled off a successful operation with minimal damage to his Evangelion probably made things worse."
Misato pulled back with disbelief, "You think she's jealous or something?"
"Yes, actually." Ritsuko said, "Looking at it statistically, Shinji has a better synch rate, a better damage-to-sortie ratio even with just one battle, and mastered the Evangelion much quicker than Asuka did. What does this make Asuka look like? How do you think Kyoko would respond, knowing her?"
Misato thought it over. "Oh my God."
"Which leaves us in this current situation." Ritsuko said and shook her head, "Shinji doesn't need direct supervision- he will do as he is told if you explain the situation to him because he has a good sense of responsibility. Based on my technical understanding of Evangelion operations, Asuka's problems with synchronization probably don't come from him. If anything her scores showed a slight improvement since he got here."
"Then how come you didn't show this to Commander Ikari?" Misato asked.
Ritsuko turned her chair a little. "I can't prove anything unless I do a concentrated study on Asuka, which would immediately be vetoed by Kyoko, though I have an idea on getting around that. In any case, we need to think about Shinji."
Misato stood, "Kaji's already driving around, looking for him. I wasn't sure to call security if-"
"Don't." Ritsuko toned as she, also, stood, "If Kyoko gets wind of this, I can wager she'll twist it to some degree to put Shinji in a worse position."
"Anything to cut down competition on her daughter," Misato grunted, and then looked at he desk, "If only the kid hadn't dropped his phone."
Ritsuko picked it up and sighed. Then she flipped it open and looked at all the numbers he had called recently.
The house lit up again after days of dormancy. The first things done were to check the doors- make sure everything was still intact. There were stories about looters wandering around among the refugees- not everyone had been accounted for after all.
Fortunately everything was still here and the house looked untouched. The Horaki establishment had not been pilfered. The next thing was to check messages. "Hikari!"
The girl came down from her room upstairs. "What is it?" She asked her older sister as she entered the kitchen.
Kodama looked at Hikari, at first a loss for words, and then said, "I think you need to hear this last message. Someone wanted to talk to you."
Hikari went through her mind all the students who would have wanted to speak to her. Nobody she knew was suicidal, if Kodama's tone was any indication on the content of the message. And while she thought of herself as a very giving and supportive person, she didn't sign up to be a peer councilor. Maybe it was Touji, calling to apologize?
As Hikari made it to the answering machine, Kodama left the room. The look she gave Hikari by the exit to the room suggested that Hikari needed to hear this alone.
Hikari tapped the playback button.
"One. You have One Old Message."
"Hi Hikari, its Shinji. I hope you don't mind… I asked a… a friend if she could give me your number. I wish I could talk to you right now… you're not there are you?
"All right… well… it's a long story but I basically got kicked out of my apartment because of something I did… I don't know what, my parents won't tell me. But they're making me move in with some woman I don't even know, and she's living with a guy already and the place is a pigsty. Reminds me a lot of the last place I used to live… It reeks and the room I'm gonna be using is already full with boxes. I'm gonna guess they won't help me clean it out, if they're anything like my uncle and aunt.
"On top of this, most of my stuff was destroyed in the last attack. My…uh… parents have some strangers looking through all of that too. I dunno what I'm gonna get back."
A pause.
"I-I really don't want to be here. I was looking forward to living at my apartment and maybe inviting you over someday to help decorate… now I got a crazy woman whose going to be watching me and setting my bedtime and…" a sigh.
"Look, I'm sorry I left a long message. I wanna talk to you about what's going on but I guess it will have to wait. I hope I can see you in class tomorrow or something."
Another pause.
"Bye…"
Click.
