Just Bella. You'll find out why.

Listen to Poison & Wine by The Civil Wars at least once while reading. It's these two in a nutshell.


Protector – Chapter 8

Poison & Wine

July 25, 2011

Bella

The house had been quiet for far too long. She knew that being back should have made her feel better about herself, but it hasn't. And the silence gave her way too much time to just sit in her room and think. A week worth of thinking has caused her to spin in circles, always drawing back to the question of her love for the man she's known her whole life.

Was it real, or was she imagining it?

Even when she escaped her thoughts for a moment, seeing Edward only brought on even more questions.

He had shut himself off from her, she could see that clearly after watching him. They'd share a late breakfast together, and what used to be a time when neither of them could quit talking has now become silent. Only the sounds of silverware scrapping across plates and the hum of the dishwasher could be heard.

She knew he was hurting from what she heard coming from his room. Only being a hallway's length apart from each other does that. When it's late a night, and Edward locks himself in his room without peeping his head into her room, she knows he's hurting. If that weren't a big enough of a clue, then it would be the sounds of his sorrow echoing off his guitar strings. Those strings tugged at her heart even more, causing a tear to fall each night.

They were so out of synch with each other after years of always being the same person practically. And it scared her.

As she walked down the hall towards the living room, she fiddled with the hem of her shirt. She could hear the soft voices of the TV as she stepped closer. She was hesitant to reach out to him, afraid that it would send him even further away. She stopped, hiding behind the corner of the wall, gazing at the boy she knew so well with wishful eyes.

His hair was a complete mess and his face wasn't cleanly shaved. His green eyes were tired as they watched the characters on the screen, and she noticed that it was getting harder for him to keep his eyes open.

As she watched him, she wished that she could ask him what he felt. She wanted to know why things were so different now, and how she could fix it. She needed to know.

But it was never that simple. Nothing ever was.

She leaned forward slightly, causing a floorboard to creak. Edward's eyes snapped open as his head slowly turned towards where she stood. Her blush caused her face to flare with heat as she tried to shove her embarrassment aside with her fingers as they placed hair behind her ear.

Edward turned the TV off before standing, his hands shoved deeply into his pockets. "Hey."

She crossed her arms over her chest, protecting herself unknowingly. "Hi."

Silence. The most awkward, electrified silence she has ever endured.

Talk to me, Edward… Please…

"You look…" she breathed out, hoping to get him to open up. "Tired."

He cracked a small smile. "Yeah… Working at Uncle Pete's place has left me drained, I guess."

She nodded, no more words left on her tongue. It was now up to him. She at least tried to talk through the awkward tension, would he do the same?

His piercing green eyes looked longingly into hers, a question swirling the color around. She longed to understand what he was asking her in that moment, wishing that she had the right answer for him. She could see how hopeful he was, but she could also see how much that hope was dying inside of him.

That hurt her. So much.

In the blink of her eyes, she was standing in front of him, her hands raised in the air between them to grasp his face tenderly. Her eyes were in direct contact with his soft lips, her mind wondering what it would be like to just lean up into him and press her mouth against his.

I don't love you… she thought as she looked up into his eyes again. But… I always have… and I always will.

She leaned a fraction closer, standing on the tips of her toes. She faltered a little, but Edward's strong hands grasped her tightly, holding her in place with his tender hands.

Her mouth was level with his now, and their eyes were locked in a heated gaze. And she knew that she shouldn't… but she had to try.

The last time she had kissed him was when they were fourteen. That time they just wanted to say they had kissed someone because their friends had. They were the only two left out, so they thought, "Why not?" They kissed for a second, enough to solidify the fact that they did – in fact – have a first kiss.

But now it was different. They weren't fourteen and sitting in her dad's garage to stay out of the rain. They were older, wiser. They both knew what love was, but didn't know what it was for them.

And it was just a kiss, Bella thought, just a kiss to get some answers. What could possibly happen?

She took in a deep breath, sucking in all of the courage she could muster. Her hands gripped his stubbly chin and cheeks harder, bringing his lips closer. She watched as his eyes grew wider in surprise as her lips touched his briefly. She felt heat course through her body just by the single touch, a flame beginning in her chest.

She wanted to pull away, she did. But that brief touch of lips wasn't enough. Edward's hand left her waist; resting on the messy bun she piled her hair into. He tugged on the elastic band, pulling it through her hair until it released its grip. Her hair fell in loose curls around her face, and he placed his hand on the back of her head, fisting the strands as he pulled her closer. His lips took control of hers, sucking in her bottom lip as he kissed her hard.

All air left her lungs as she stepped closer, morphing her body to his. Her arms wrapped around his neck, locking him in place as their mouths moved in perfect harmony.

She couldn't explain what she was feeling. It was too much too fast. Her heart was on overload.

With one last peck to her lips, Edward pulled away, fear in his eyes.

He was speaking to her with his looks. A look that said: "Your move now. What will it be?"


What'll be, B? Will you run and hide, or will you jump feet first into trying?

What will it be for you, my lovely readers?