"We need to talk."

Ugh, I knew this was coming, but I was on my way to the beach right now.

I closed the fridge, put the water I had grabbed in my purse and turned to my dad, "I'm kind of in a hurry right now."

"I don't care," he says, crossing his arms, "what you did yesterday at The Bolton's was unacceptable. You yelled at Monica, in front of her small daughter, you disrespected the Boltons and you stormed out. You caused a scene, Gabriella! We raised you better than that. Why would you yell at her like that?!"

"Are you fucking kidding me!?" I couldn't help, but yell. "You're MAD at me?! Seriously?"

"Yes, I'm upset with you! You made a scene, Gabriella!"

Okay, I get that. I really, really get that. But he knows the emotion behind everything I said. He knows the intent. He knows everything. He knows that never in a million years would I EVER talk to someone like that. So the fact that he's looking over it, wow, that boggles my mind and boils my blood. How can he stand here and tell me all of this? I get it. I get it was rude to yell at her. But is he so blinded by love that he didn't hear what she was saying? Maybe she meant no harm, but he for sure should be telling her something along the lines of, you know what? It's very sensitive for her to have a new woman in my life and so maybe please don't flaunt it, please don't talk about what we do, blah blah blah. But no. He doesn't. He's all about Monica right now.

And I'm so fucking sick of this woman coming into our lives and taking over my dad. My dad who I never used to fight with.

"La Gandola? Really, dad?" I ask, tears forming in my eyes. "Why?"

"Gabriella," his voice softened, "it's just a restaurant. I know you're upset and I fully get that, but..."

"Just a restaurant?" I exclaimed, the tears were dried up and I was more mad than ever. "Who even are you?! Just a restaurant? The owners know you, we get free fucking desert there. You took mom there on your first date! We've celebrated birthdays there. It's our restaurant. It's yours and moms and I can't believe you're forgetting all of that. HOW could you?"

He sighed. And shook his head. And it looked like all he wanted to do was walk away from me in this moment, which I'd be more than happy if he did.

But he didn't. He stood there, shaking his head. And then he looked up at me. "I loved your mom more than anything. But she's not here anymore. And she would have wanted me to be happy. You and I both know that, Gabriella."

I do know that. Because my mom was the best. She was the best woman in the whole world.

"You can be happy without making your kids feel like shit," I tell him, "you didn't even come after me, dad! You didn't check on me and how I was feeling!"

"Monica was upset, you had just yelled at her..."

"Oh, Monica was upset!?" I ask with a laugh, "Monica, the woman you've known for less than a year was upset? Well, so was your fucking daughter who you've known for so much longer. If you're hurt by my actions, well guess what, I'm even more hurt by yours!"

My dad just stared at me. A blank stare. Not saying anything at all.

And then Jessica came in.

It looked like she was trying to figure out what was going on, and I'm sure she could hear the fighting from upstairs. "What's going on?"

"What's going on is that dad here, cares more about Monica and her feelings than mine," I explain, "and the longer they hang out, the more he forgets about mom and all the years they had together and the memories. And I'm just so fucking sick of trying to keep it all together. I miss my mother. I miss the way things were. And I can't believe you're acting like you can just replace her because you can't!"

"I'm not trying to replace her!" is all her yells back.

I couldn't say anything right now. I walked out of the kitchen and sat on the couch in the living room adjacent to it. I needed to calm down a bit.

But Jessica was still in there, and knowing her, she'd be cool, calm and collected and try to see both sides of the situation, like always. Because she's the nice one. The sympathetic one. And over all, the better one, I guess. Whatever.

"You know I love you dad," she says and I immediately roll my eyes, "but I gotta side with Gabriella on this one."

"I know it's hard for you girls..."

"No, dad, you don't get it," Jess tells him and my eyes are bugging out. My sister NEVER argues with my dad. EVER. "You're not on the other side of things. How would you feel if we started acting like we have a new dad? It's hard. It's so fucking hard for us and I'm trying to keep it together every single day of my life, but sometimes I just can't. Monica... sure, she's nice and she makes you happy, but you're... it's too much. It's way too much. La Gondala? Switching Gabriella's summer plans because Monica wanted to go to Hawaii on different days? Imagine how we feel. Not only losing our mom, but having to see our dad who did everything with her, who would have done anything FOR her, be with some other woman? A woman who just doesn't seem to get that she can't just come into our family and think we're going to like her because our dad does. It's like, she doesn't get it. She doesn't get that we lost our mom and that we're miserable every damn day about it. And I can't keep it in any longer. I really, really can't."

Holy fuck. Jessica took all the words right out of my mouth. Yes. Yes. Yes. Everything she's saying is exactly what I'm feeling.

I feel like Monica just doesn't get it. She doesn't get that we lost our mom and we're sad and we miss her every fucking day. Because she walks around this house like she's the only woman my dad has every loved and it'd fucking annoying and weird and hurtful.

My dad stayed quiet. I think he was a bit in shock because Jessica has never done something like this. She was always cool, calm, collected and REALLY nice.

And then he just shook his head. "I have to go to work."

That's it? That was his response? That he has to go to FUCKING WORK?

One time, I got into the biggest argument with my mom and my mom had to go to work so there I was, feeling shitty about everything that had just happened and my dad called one of his managers and told him he wouldn't be in for an hour or so. And he took me to get ice cream, we drove around and talked about why my mom was feeling that way, why I was feeling that way and everything felt better afterward.

But today. Nope. Nothing.

My father is changing, is acting like someone I know he's not. And it's breaking my heart.

"Come here," I tell Jess who has tears streaming down her face. She comes over to me, sits down and immediately nuzzles her head into my chest. I put my arms over here and tell her it's okay. "Let it all out if you want."

"Why is he acting like he was never married?" she says in between sobs, "Gabs, she was our mom, the love of his life. He literally did not get out of bed for two fucking weeks after everything that happened, but now suddenly, this woman comes in and he's a completely different person."

I knew she understood, but I also thought she was all for my dad's happiness and yadda yadda yadda.

But I guess she was just putting on a brave face.

"It's hard," I tell her, sitting up a bit and wiping the tears off her beautiful face. She looked like my mom so much. They both has the same long, beautiful eyelashes that I was so jealous of. "He's trying to make his new girlfriend happy and he doesn't realize in the process of that, he's hurting us."

"Monica has been nice to me," she says, leaning forward and grabbing the convenient napkin that was on the coffee table, "and I don't think she actually wants dad to forget about mom, but I feel like she thinks she should be his priority and that coming in here and not actually taking the time to know us, just being with dad, it's just... too much."

Exactly. That's exactly how I feel, too. And that's why I had a little outburst at the Boltons.

Right now, though, we need each other more than ever.

I never wanted to be home. My sister looks so much like my mom that it was hard to look at her. I'd look at my dad and he was sad. So I just never wanted to be home and be around them because it was way too hard. But now that my dad is now with someone else and doesn't look sad anymore and that time has past where I can't just act like a brat and careless for no reason, I'm home. And I'm coping. And I'm still trying to get through everything.

And Jessica, my sweet Jessica, is the best sister I could ever ask for and I can't believe how I've treated her these months.

"I'm sorry for being the worst big sister, ever," I apologize to her after she lets everything out. "I shouldn't have acted the way I acted and I'm sorry."

"We all deal differently," she shrugs, "and I think I've reached my breaking point."

True. Jessica has never really let herself cry over it. Unless she's done it in the privacy of her own room. She was the strongest one. And she was 15 at the time. Like, that says a lot about her. Just like my mom. But I don't think she's ever really coped because she wanted to be there for us, she wanted to put on a brave face. And that meant everything.

But I don't think I appreciated it the way I should. And I feel so badly about that because she really is the best.

And she's been such a rock for me and my dad throughout all these months of being without her.

"Okay," I say, getting up and pushing her off. "Go change. We're gonna go grab some Fatburger and then visit mom and then go shopping at Barney's in her honor because that was her absolute favorite thing to do in life."

"You're not going to the beach?" she asks with a small smile as she sniffles.

I was. But I realized that my sister needs me right now and I need her and I need to show her and we need to do this whole thing together.

So I shake my head, get up off the couch and give her my hand to get her up. "Nah, the beach can wait. I wanna spend time with my sister and my mom and talk about everything like we used to do with her."

This is what we'd do. She'd tell us to get ready, and then she'd drive us to Barney's and we'd shop around, trying things on, being silly and whatnot. And then we would go to Fatburger and sit there and eat and talk and laugh. And share things with each other. Share everything with each other.

So, this is what we're going to do today. Me and my baby sister.

And my mom is going to be right there with us in spirit, like she always is.

Like she is right now.