Lydia had nearly forgotten about the issues with Severus by the time mid-April rolled around, but as always she underestimated Severus's persistence and desperation.
She was on her way down to dinner when someone pulled her against him, out of sight and into an alcove that he allowed a tapestry to fall over once they were within it. Lydia didn't even have to look to know that Severus had grabbed her, so familiar he was to her in all ways.
"I thought we were past this," she said dryly.
"Lydia -"
"I've already told you I won't do it, Severus," Lydia continued boldly, turning to face him. "I'm not joining you and I'm not letting you bully me -"
"Why not?" Severus hissed. "You let everyone else!" Lydia took a step back from him, but he grabbed her by the wrist as he had a few months prior, not as tightly, but he didn't free her when it was clear she would stay. "No, Lydia, I know you. I could destroy you in ways that Oldington could only dream of. I could make you talk to Lily if I wanted. I know you couldn't resist."
"You say this," Lydia whispered, trying not to think about Mary's own experience with such curses. Lydia was even weaker than Mary; everyone knew that. "You say this all the time, but you never do anything."
"Do you think I want that?" Severus said urgently, squeezing her wrist a bit. "Do you think I want to hurt you? Lydia, I've spent the last six years looking for ways to help you. The last thing I want is to hurt you, but if you leave me without a choice…"
Lydia shook her head.
He was protective of her and Lily by nature, always had been, but he couldn't seem to see that there was no bridging the gap he'd built between them. Lydia could have sued every way she knew; once Lily had decided that Severus was no longer their friend there would never be any changing the redhead's mind.
Severus knew her as well as Lydia; he must have known this too, but his desperation was obviously overriding his sense.
"I can't help you, Severus," Lydia said sadly. "I wish you'd please stop asking."
His grip on her wrist tightened considerably and Lydia winced, attempting to wrench her arm from his iron grasp to no avail. She gave out a guttural sound of frustration, but he was unchanged by her eagerness to break free.
"Severus, please," Lydia gasped, knowing from the hard glint in his black eyes that he was unaware of her pain. "Let me go."
"You're not going anywhere until you promise to talk to Lily," Severus said in his silkiest, most dangerous voice and Lydia nearly shivered as it dawned on her just how not-himself he'd become in that moment.
He'd never, ever used that tone with her, and Lydia knew that if she didn't think carefully there might be an Imperious Curse involved after all, one she knew without a doubt that he would later regret.
"Please," she whimpered, utilizing her well-practiced ability of looking as pitiful as possible. "Severus, let go of my wrist and we'll talk about this, I promise."
Maybe if she could get him to let go she could get him to see sense.
Severus wasn't buying it, however.
"Talking with you isn't a guarantee you're listening," he countered. It was impossible to lie to Severus and had been for several years. "But I need you to listen, Lydia. I have nothing left. Nothing. You, of all people, should understand that."
Lydia realized that she was very close to Severus enacting something horrible and that she needed to try something different.
She stopped struggling, going as limp as she could while Severus held her arm tightly, continuing to grasp her as she frowned at him.
"Severus," she said thickly, and he blinked at the change in her tone of voice. Lydia bit back a sigh of relief. "Severus, you're hurting me again."
He blinked at her once more, this time with confusion. Slowly, carefully, he loosened his hold on her wrist, looking down at the bruise that was already beginning to form.
"Lydia," he breathed, looking up at her with horror in his sad eyes. "I'm so sorry. I…. You know I would never…"
Lydia couldn't make herself ignore that he'd just been threatening to kill or curse her now he was insisting he would never hurt her. She knew he really believed he would never hurt her, but she'd seen him at his most furious and she had no doubt that he was capable of hurting her.
But she didn't think he would live with it afterwards.
"You did it before, too," she said softly as he shifted her wrist to examine the bruise. "Lily saw it, but I shook it off. She…. Severus, that hurts."
"Sorry," he muttered, lifting her wrist to his lips. "Better?"
Her heart softened at the action he hadn't done since they were children.
They still were children, in a sense. It was terrifying to think about how much responsibility would be placed on them so suddenly, so soon.
"Yes," she said softly. It didn't actually feel any better, but she hated seeing the self-loathing in his eyes.
"You're not going to talk to her, are you?" Severus asked sadly.
"You know I can't," Lydia whispered, pulling her arm from his hands now that she knew he wouldn't overreact.
He shook his head.
"You could," he muttered. "But you won't. You don't want to upset Lily and you can't stand the thought of upsetting those numbskulls you call friends."
Lydia felt anger rising up in her. She took a deep breath and said, "What about your so-called friends? You know what they did to Mary. You did nothing! Who's the one afraid of rocking the boat?"
"Don't you dare," he said, again in his most dangerous voice. "I'm the reason it was her and not you."
She went to hit him so she didn't have to think through the implications of what he was saying, but instead he grabbed her wrists against, forcefully turning her and pinning her to the wall.
"Don't flatter yourself or your little friends, Lydia," he snarled. "Macnair in particularly wanted to have a little fun with you, but he knows that if he touches you I'll kill him. You talk about making Lily an exception as if you're not, but if Avery or Macnair didn't have incentive to leave you alone, do you really think your precious Marauders could protect you?"
Lydia turned her head, not wanting to look him in the eye, but he leaned forward so that his silky voice poured right into her ear.
"You should be thanking me on bended knee, Lydia. You should be eager to help me. But I know you're a slow learner. So I'll give you time to think on it."
He released her wrists and left her alone in the alcove. She stood there, stunned, until she realized that she was both crying and about to be missing dinner, so she wiped her eyes, calmed herself, and smoothed out her robes before going down to the Great Hall.
She slid in to the empty seat between Artemis and Sirius, across from Lily. Severus was watching her from the Slytherin table, but he turned away after a moment because Avery was saying something to him. Lydia let out a small sigh and began to dish up dinner.
"Sorry," she said happily. "I got caught on a staircase as it was moving and I don't know the castle as well as some people."
Sirius laughed his bark-like laugh and Lily rolled her eyes.
"I was starting to worry," Lily said, pouring herself more pumpkin juice.
"I'm fine," Lydia lied, putting some potatoes on her plate. "I hope I didn't miss anything important."
That was more teasing than anything else, knowing that the most important thing they would have discussed was James's thoughts on the new Keeper for the Montrose Magpies. And Lydia had already been inundated with that particular rant.
"Nothing too important," Artemis said wryly, glancing over at Sirius.
Lydia tried not to blush as she felt Sirius shift beside her, getting almost imperceptibly closer to her. She was aware that he was looking at her, but she wasn't going to acknowledge his behavior. Instead, she looked over at Remus, whose amber eyes had darkened.
"Oh?" Lydia managed to say, looking down at her plate as she tried to think of what to do next. She heard James sniggering on the other side of Artemis, and then she heard Artemis smack him and the sniggering stopped.
"Yeah, I don't know about that," Sirius said softly in that purr she'd heard him use before with girls he wanted attention from. She was very aware of the fact that she was blushing furiously. "I'd say it was very important."
Lydia found that she had such a morbid curiosity to know what had been said, and also she wanted badly to change the topic. She looked over at Lily, who was both blushing and clearly annoyed, and Lydia decided that she certainly didn't want to know.
"Can't imagine it was that important," she said dismissively, still not looking up at Sirius, whose leg was now resting against hers.
Breathing was becoming more difficult, and Lydia looked up to find Severus watching her with a dark expression. Was she fighting against Sirius's interest because of her own objections, or because of Severus? And if she ever did give in, would Severus stop protecting her? Was Severus right that Sirius would never properly be able to keep her safe?
"Why's that?" Sirius murmured, and she realized with horror that he was so close that she could feel his warm breath on her neck.
She tried to think of a proper response to him that would turn the conversation away from flirtation, but it was so hard to think properly when the heat radiating off his body was so distracting. Did he always smell so good?
"Can someone pass the salt?" Lydia asked breathlessly, feeling more than a little bit dazed.
Peter picked up the salt and passed it across the table. Lydia didn't think about it when she reached across the table to take it, and her sleeve shifted to reveal a bit of her bruised wrist.
"What happened?" Artemis said anxiously. "What did you do to your wrist?"
"What?" Lydia said, not fully processing the situation for a moment. "Oh, that. It's nothing."
"But what happened?" Artemis pressed. "That looked nasty."
"Oh, well, you know I bruise easily," Lydia pointed out, pleased that she wasn't lying. She felt comfort in telling half-truths.
"But what happened?" Mary echoed, staring at the spot where Lydia's bruise would have been.
Lydia wracked her brain for some sort of excuse or explanation. Finally, she put down the salt shaker and said, "I tripped. Not a big deal."
It seemed that the topic was dropped, and Lydia let out a mental sigh of relief, missing the thoughtful look on Lily's face, the expression that of one trying to recall something just out of reach.
"Lily, can you pass the potatoes?" Mary asked in her sweet, gentle voice.
But Lily did not appear to hear, still looking intently at Lydia, who had looked up and finally realized she was being watched. The girls held each other's gaze in silence, forgetting all about Mary and the potatoes. Lydia's heart pounded as she tried to think of how to get out of what was sure to come.
"Problem, Evans?" Sirius asked, amused, handing the potatoes to Mary after stretching to reach them.
"Maybe," Lily said slowly. "It's just…. Well, she's had that bruise before. It was the same one, I'm sure of it."
"So?" Artemis asked. "She falls all the time."
Was that sweat on Lydia's forehead? She still stared directly at Lily's eyes.
"Except last time," Lily said, finally looking at Artemis, "Lydia said she'd slept on it funny."
Just as Lydia was trying to decide what to do, Sirius grabbed her forearm and pulled the sleeve down to reveal the bruise. Lydia wriggled a bit, but he pulled out his wand and muttered, "Petrificus bracchius." She opened her mouth to protest and he said, "Wouldn't want to bruise you again. Well, Evans? Same bruise?"
Lily nodded, staring at the now deep-purple marking, and Lydia realized there was no way out.
"Let's see, then," Sirius said, turning her arm as she used her other hand to fish through her pocket for her wand. "I don't know what you all see, but this looks to me an awful lot like a hand."
Artemis gasped as Lydia found her wand and began to wordlessly undo Sirius's jinx, which had never been one of her strong suits. "Merlin," Artemis said. "It is!"
"So whose hand is it, Lydia?" Sirius asked firmly. "Who's been hurting you?"
Lydia was trying to focus on her counter-jinx, but her eyes did flicker up to the Slytherin table in spite of her best efforts.
If she'd had a free hand she would have smacked herself in the face.
"Evans," Sirius barked sharply, "how large are Snivellus's hands?"
Lily blinked at him, confused.
"I-I don't know…. I -"
"Did you ever put your hand up to his, compare the size?"
"N-no," Lily said slowly. "Lydia did, though. They did it every year…. I think the last time the tips of her fingers came up to his top knuckle. He could almost curl them over her fingers."
Lydia realized she had finally freed her arm as Sirius placed his palm against hers, adjusting so that the heels of their palms were lined up and he moved his hand against hers to line up their fingers. She was mesmerized by the feel of his skin against her hand and she stared.
Sirius then curled his fingers over hers a little and said, "Like that?"
"Yes," Lily whispered, watching as Sirius tenderly aligned his hand with Lydia's bruise.
"There," Sirius said, turning her arm over again. "That's just about a perfect fit."
"No," Lydia whimpered, and Sirius moved his hand up her arm, perhaps thinking he'd hurt her.
"Lydia," Remus said gently, "what really happened?"
She looked up at his sad, amber eyes and saw a fire beginning in them that she'd never seen there before. Lydia had never believed that Remus could be dangerous, but her stomach churned a bit in fear.
Sirius's hand was still on her arm and every eye was on her and she really could only think of one thing.
And the tears were already forming, anyway.
What she hadn't thought of when she began to cry was that Sirius would become even more furious.
"Snivellus is hurtin you, isn't he?" he growled. "He did this to you, didn't he? Answer me."
Why were all the boys in her life being so demanding all at once?
"Please," she sobbed.
"Sirius, calm down," Artemis ordered, but his body remained tense and his eyes continued to swirl and seethe furiously.
"I knew something like this would happen," he muttered. "I told you, Moony. I said he was toxic for her."
Eyes had turned away from Lydia, everyone now focused on the dangerously furious Sirius. Even James seemed very uneasy about how Sirius might behave.
"Padfoot," Remus said gently, "she's okay. She's going to be okay. All right?"
Sirius shook his head.
"I'm going to kill him," Sirius hissed. "I'm going to break his fingers one by one, make him beg for mercy, and then rip out his throat and watch him bleed."
Lydia's eyes widened.
Much in the way that she was sure that a sufficiently frustrated Severus could hurt her, Lydia had no doubts that Sirius could work himself into enough of a frenzy to actually follow through on those threats.
"Black, you need to calm down," Lily said firmly. "You need to let go of Lydia and cool down, before you do something you regret."
Sirius didn't seem to hear her, still clutching Lydia's arm with his sweaty hand and glaring over at the Slytherin table, the tell-tale signs of plans forming in his swirling gray eyes.
"Padfoot, c'mon, you need to chill," James said, but Sirius didn't seem to hear him, either.
Lydia could feel her heart racing as she took her hand and placed it over Sirius's hand. He jumped a little, looking at his fingers and hers touching. His grip loosened slightly, and his breathing began to become a bit more relaxed.
"Sirius," she said softly. "Please don't overreact.
"But -"
His objections cut off when she ran her hand gently along his and he released her arm, staring as her fingers caressed the back of his hands.
"Please," she whispered. "He didn't mean to and he won't do it again. We've come to an understanding."
"Lydia," he began, but his voice was strained, and she knew he wouldn't hold on to his anger much longer.
She laced her fingers between his, effectively holding his hand. He stared at their hands, stunned, actually, turning them over to see that he was, in fact, holding her hand.
Sirius looked up at her, gray eyes no longer swirling, but bright and full of hope that she felt guilty for putting there.
But it was better than him trying to kill Severus, for a variety of reasons.
"Please," she said once more. "Please just let it go."
Sirius slowly nodded, looking back down at their hands.
"Okay," he said softly. "Okay."
Some of the tension in the air dissipated, but not all. Lydia looked up at Remus to find that his face was carefully schooled to calm, but when his amber eyes met hers, filled with a storm of emotions she couldn't tease out, her heart skipped a beat.
"You should eat, Lydia," Remus said in a measured voice. "We'll need to get that bruise taken care of."
"Yes," she said, drawing her fingers away from Sirius's in order to take up her fork. A small sound of protest escaped his lips, but she raised her eyebrow and said, "I do need my hand to eat."
"Right," he breathed, turning back to his own nearly empty plate.
Lydia rushed through her meal, thrilled that Remus's reminder of her heath gave her an out, an excuse for getting away from dinner more quickly.
As soon as she finished, she went with Remus to Gryffindor Tower.
"I had to," she said softly. "You know that. He might have really tried to kill him again, and then where would we be?"
"I know," Remus whispered. "I never questioned it. And it worked."
Yes, it certainly had worked, and Lydia couldn't decide if that bothered her more, or the measured way Remus could talk about it, as if…as if he didn't care.
Lydia did her best not to cry as he led her to his dormitory again. She'd spent enough tears on those boys for one day.
